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The Dick Show

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Dickmasterson, Biggestproblemintheuniverse, Comedy

4.81.3K Ratings

Overview

The Dick Show is a weekly science and rage based podcast where everything is a contest and there ams no rules--especially grammar rules. Chock-full of Dick Tips and the answers to questions like, 'Are you a rage?' and 'What even is a libertarian?' The Dick Show. Get some.

470 Episodes

Episode 465 - Dick on Dadmaxxing

A woman wrestles a semi truck, the No Kings or Diets protest, dadmaxxing, grandpamaxxing, a garage you can eat off of, Road Rage: Boston, sleep nagging, Maddox releases another banger, Will Smith releases another banger, Johnny Rocket releases another banger, AI Palestinians, "Slam Frank" (Anne Frank with Black people), over-optimising, and SNAP: Soda, Nachos, And Pizza; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 16 June 2025

Episode 465 - DIck on Dadmaxxing

A woman wrestles a semi truck, the No Kings or Diets protest, dadmaxxing, grandpamaxxing, a garage you can eat off of, Road Rage: Boston, sleep nagging, Maddox releases another banger, Will Smith releases another banger, Johnny Rocket releases another banger, AI Palestinians, "Slam Frank" (Anne Frank with Black people), over-optimising, and SNAP: Soda, Nachos, And Pizza; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 16 June 2025

Episode 464 - Dick on Fat Women Throwing Bicycles

A fat woman throws a bicycle, LA erupts in violence and retardation, a fat women encourages the rioters, ICE deports my Home Depot, a protester fights an SUV, some Mexicans light themselves on fire, an AI company is oops all indians, a man falls in love with a robot, my wife throws popcorn away, Maddox tries to cancel Road Rage: Boston, Elon's trans daughter tries out a new voice, and a man makes friends with a hot prostitute; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 9 June 2025

Episode 463 - Dick on The Grave Digger

ROAD RAGE: BOSTON x WATP LIVE - JUNE 21st- live.dick.show A fat woman makes a run at the alt-right, I get free air conditioning for life, baby advice to ignore the haters, young men are the laziest generation--again, Asmongold watches my clips, the Grave Digger writes in about solving more murders and playing with the cops, drugs for your health, Tinder implements a height filter, and Michael Vick fights the LAPD dogs; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 2 June 2025

Episode 462 - Dick on Breastfeeding Class

I bomb a joke at breastfeeding class, someone tears a tree out of my yard, 30 year old South Park episodes are banned, a woman forgets to activate a tornado siren, the purpose of AI, flutes and pants, vaccine advice, a lady cop gets her gun taken away from her, a mortician writes in about solving murders, a Kanye freestyle, a fat woman gets stuck in a booth, and arguing with your parents; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 26 May 2025

Episode 461 - Dick on High-Fives

A shady blood lab, the Mexican Navy has a fashion show (for fat women), some homeless start a piss war with Johnny, my dad loads a crib into my truck, the baby does a high five, my contractor pisses off the inspector, an X-Men religion, Tim Walz' son is not retarded after all, doctors with grills without borders, The Forever War against women, Nick Fuentes vs. old men, self-deportation ads in Los Angeles, and a woman with a world famous FUPA takes on the haters; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 18 May 2025

Episode 460 - Dick on The Fear

My hearing blows out, Kanye releases a funny song, homelessness is solved with a new invention, Pakistan saves the Internet from India, Reddit gets experimented on, nitrous, Maddox wins the "Retard of the Month" award, Vito gets banned from Hackamania, statues of fat Black women pop up all over the Earth, and how many Mexicans does it take to restart a water heater; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 12 May 2025

Episode 459 - Dick on Time is a Fat Circle

Tickets for Road Rage/WATP Boston are up at live.dick.show, my deck is "finished" and I have questions, the speed of technology vs. fat incompetence, murrlogic calls in, ex-girlfriend advice for a young man who is about to make a big mistake, a 5/5 porno game, and Hackamania drama; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 28 April 2025

Episode 458 - Dick on The Ringer

Jeff Bridges names my son, the deck police chase some burglars, the wedding blackface painter is caught, Kanye blows the Fourth Reich, "You don't complain about Islam enough", a tribal contest to pick up a fat American woman, a gangster photoshops his knuckles, the Chinese attack luxury goods, the perfect amount of women, how to meet friends in the city after 30, and the WATP/TDS Live Show is coming on June 21st; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 22 April 2025

Episode 457 - Dick on Obesity Simulation Suits

Experts weigh in on experts, every deck in my neighborhood gets busted, a medical obesity simulation suit, a woman breaks a tree, a working in a factory survey, the Department of War blocks me for telling them not to kill kids, advice to hit on a girl at work, Weight Watchers goes bankrupt, Starbucks goes on strike, and fake crazy people; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 14 April 2025

Episode 456 - Dick on The Liar's Fund

Cooking with grease, a woman turns left in a large car, tariffs, Read Dead Redemption 2 is spoiled, Tinder for babies, a man is stabbed over a chair, a woman fixes the ghetto, a guy cheats on his girlfriend... or did he? Chinese Uber drivers, a Samoan sumo wrestler, "don't rob me, I'm Jewish", and three fat women crash a car; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 7 April 2025

Episode 455 - Dick on a Homeless Wedding

Nick Rekieta in studio, my wedding ring doesn't really fit, a homeless lady causes trouble, Harley Quinn's fart porn is released, a Rippatard round-up, 3D printed guns and the Supreme Court, financing a burrito, getting trapped in a suitcase by your girlfriend, the difference doing your hair makes, a fat woman protests Elon Musk, a bunny man visit's Eric July's bidness, a bartender makes me sign a contract, and the "Adolescence" movie; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 31 March 2025

Episode 454 - Dick on Slurping it Up

Men melting down over Snow White, free soda for poors, Reddit on Severance, NYU is hacked with racist data, Andrew Tate sues everyone except for me, Manny Muskets opens for another white power comedy show, a Rippatard takes a picture of his mom's house, and a Super Sized Fat Watch; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 24 March 2025

Episode 453 - Dick on Tasting the Foam

I stub my toe, St. Patrick's Day is ruined, deporting violent criminals by Mario Kart, a girl learns about gravity on the moon, another non-English trucking accident, tasting impending diarrhea, the perfect woman vs. beer, Ethan Van Sciver calls in about Cyberfrog 3, and The Vagina Museum threatens to close down; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 18 March 2025

Episode 452 - Dick on Drug-Head

Funko Pops ruin my marriage, mistakes in sharing a TV show, Florida goes after the Tates, transgender mice, rewarding teachers, a listener's wife nearly blows up their house, a woman gets both of her hands bitten off playing with a shark, pimps, banks, and credit card caps, Canada bans whiskey--again, and Eric July writes an essay about me; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 10 March 2025

Episode 451 - Dick on The Horse is Fine

My life is reduced by two weeks, a prison for your bed, a fat woman nearly breaks a horse (but the horse is fine), reparations for crypto bros, a look into the fourth Reich of the Gaza strip, the Sh*tgularity, a listener writes in about autism, an all-woman space launch, the NSA trans chats and a James Bond for the modern age, an IRS agent needs to change his smoke alarm battery, and more trucker stories; all that and more this week on The Dick Show! 

Transcribed - Published: 3 March 2025

Episode 450 - Dick on Hungry, Hungry Hooters

Hooters shuts down, government employees have to explain what they do, my allergy to spending money, the LAX wedding, a woman flies a plane into the ground, how the government ruined camping outdoors, lying is illegal in Germany, napkin deniers, people who say they're running late when they're already late, show tapestries, robots that sit on the couch, two Israelis get into a gun fight over antisemitism, and a gay version of the Smurfs theme song; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 24 February 2025

Episode 449 - Dick on Goygamel

Rugby, VIP liquor, a wedding gets messed up, a new single mom is born, Kanye's swastika shirts get refunded, the Vegas solar thing gets shut down, no more EBT soda, duelling vaccine experts write in, a VR game about having racist conversations, a fat woman steals my shopping cart, and Goygamel; all that and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 17 February 2025

Episode 448 - Dick on the Sexually Offended

Kanye presents the Hitler/fat women dillemma, the DOGE kids do too much noticing, a woman goes to Harry Potterworld, Trump takes over Gaza, Amazon drivers have to pedal their trucks, LEGOs are for boys, the NFL ends ending racism, Tony from Hack the Movies plans a Vito intervention, Uncle O'Grimacey is back, and I have a gender reveal; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 10 February 2025

Episode 447 - Dick on Size-Inclusive Cars

I am robbed at trivia again, a woman flies a helicopter into a plane, a Nigerian scammer was running the US Treasury, a fat woman sues Lyft because she can't fit in the car, Canada goes on strike, and the Zen of scraping car rims; all that and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 3 February 2025

Episode 446 - Dick on Eating Paste

A woman pushes for size-inclusive rope, a woman misspells a football team, my mashed potatoes get thrown away, Trump becomes the supervillain president we need, ValueSelectTV gets in a car wreck (and comes in studio), Riley's lawyers call in about Texas harassment law and Eric July's 911 calls, Ross Ulbricht is free, the Digital Deez Nuts reserve, Brian Johnson races erections with his son, Vivek plays Fur Elise, and people pulling cute sh*t about Bitcoin; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 27 January 2025

Episode 445 - Dick on Generational Wealth

Alex Schaefer comes in to paint and hate the Federal Reserve, I fumble the generational wealth bag, Trump out sh*t coins the sh*tcoiners, TikTok is banned and the saved, a lady gets a top sugery, getting tangled up in hose, more not baby advice, two women swap credit cards, art scams and the CIA, and AI Maddox talks about the LA fires; all that and more this week on The Dick Show

Transcribed - Published: 20 January 2025

Episode 444 - Dick on Fighting Fires

LA burns down, Vito's Gaia's Cradle burns down, Ralph burns down, I take my Pokemon cards to the grader, a man poops in his car, the HMWH drop a banger of peace, three lesbians walk into a bar, Afghan Boomers discuss Bacha Bazi and/or Social Security, fake visas, parenting advice, the best plumber in the world show, crowd surfing while fat, and I forget to do the intro; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 13 January 2025

Episode 443 - Dick on Counting Calories

Meta introduces Black AI people, wrong questions at the ultrasound place, Null is told to lose weight and overreacts, giant boob vaccine sideeffects, a marine does a terrorism, I am banned from the Food Bank, the Magic Castle, the All State Ceo releases a message of tolerace, and British r*pe gangs; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 6 January 2025

Episode 442 - Dick on The Best and Brightest

My dad sells his car, how the best and brightest destroyed the 80s, a fan gives parenting advice, violent speech, the guy who invented finger guns, Mossad talks about how they control the world, Ted Cruz declares war on anti-semitism, and a fat woman yells at me; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 29 December 2024

Episode 441 - Dick on Christmas Creeps

A woman lights on fire, a car drives into a market, Maddox has a new seafood video, my girlfriend doesn't put any ice in my water bottle, Vinnie Paulino goes on a "winter adventure" and has a bunch of Christmas Creeps, more CEO slaying talk, an advice followup, San Fransisco has a "weight czar", Sydney Sweeney posts another fat pic, and a disgusting pet hair ornament; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 24 December 2024

Episode 440 - Dick on Follow the Fat

I find some priceless Pokemon cards in the garage, Sydney Sweeney takes an ugly picture, drones look for nuclear fat women in New Jersey, Value Select TV is in studio, Johnny responds to criticism, Eric July says my name, free speech in grade five, Biden pardons child slavers, more CEO stuff, and a caller is mad at Vito; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 16 December 2024

Episode 439 - Dick on Good!

A healthcare CEO is killed, my girlfriend takes blankets to the dog shelter, Nick Rekieta calls in with settlement info and other things, a woman has too many guy friends, someone is lonely, a Chinese police ball takes to the streets, the FBI reverses course on encryption, the trans lawsuits begin, iPhone's AI is worthless, and Maddox reacts to recent news; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 9 December 2024

Episode 438 - Dick on Good News, Bad News

No spoilers.

Transcribed - Published: 2 December 2024

Episode 437 - Dick on Formal Introductions

Invalidng women's spaces, the new Jaguar ad, Hockey Talk with Taylor from PKA, women vs. combat, women vs. the rain, women vs. frozen soda, Eric July's Salvage comic book, AI art, Jews and homosexuals are no longer safe in Berlin, The View apologizes, the Tyson fight was rigged, and reversable puberty blockers; all that and more this week on The Dick Show! 

Transcribed - Published: 25 November 2024

Episode 436 - Dick on Testifying

Riley goes on trial for criminally harassing Eric July, Mike Tyson throws a fight, RFK brings back beef tallow, Chris the Kiwi writes a poem, a Boeing engineer writes in, big bodies in outer space, dog-free zones to end racism, a burkini, Mexicans working the field, and a woman falls through a jungle gym; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 19 November 2024

Episode 435

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Transcribed - Published: 11 November 2024

Episode 435 - Dick on More Gloating

Trump wins, Latino men save the country, Black women go on strike, Cat Girl is in jail again, Jay Johnston is getting out of prison, FEMA actually was ignoring Trump voters, Nick Rekieta shows his cuck's web history, Ralph falls out of a chair, women overreact to a joke, Jimmy Kimmel cries, CNN figures out what happens, and teachers fill cry rooms around the world; all that and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 11 November 2024

Episode 434 - Dick on Dark Romance Reviews

A squirrel is killed by the government, Ron Paul is brought back from the dead, a video game makes people upset, JonBreaksBadNews calls in, Jimmy Pesto is sent to prison for a year, rats poop in my grill, cheap Halloween candy, the Vatican has a new mascot, ChatGPT gives women report cards, 6% of Nicaragua moved to the US, a voting machine doesn't work, and we look at bad reviews for women's pornography books; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 4 November 2024

Episode 433 - Dick on Guitar Talk

Sean returns from Japan with a big Guitar Talk, Florida sherriffs lie about weed, we explore Tinder's new "sporty" women category, Trump works at McDonald's, trans women have too many mimosa brunches, Black people think Mexicans are slaves, some liberals go shooting, an Elliott Smith mural is painted over with "Queer Joy", a fat lady tries on some wedding dresses, some squatters in my neighborhood drive off a cliff, DnD introduces sensitivity forms, an IDF soldier regrets bulldozing kids, and a young man writes in about condoms; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 28 October 2024

Episode 432 - Dick on Not Spilling Chips in the Car

Russel Brand sells a magic amulet, California liberals ruin another high tech industry, a Hitler survey, the scope of consent, gay voice, guys playing video games, 40 FEMA guys carry a log, protecting Black men's crypto, a lady spills chips in a car, and Josh Denny fills in for Sean; all that and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 21 October 2024

Episode 431 - Dick on The Tungsteñera

Adult trick or treating, some UCB guys make a political ad, a trans storm trooper, the WNBA fights reading books, Sven Stoffels calls in with Butch Killigan 2, a Boeing insider, fake sex robots, cops get paid to fail a math test, obesity is falling, and some furry news; all that and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 14 October 2024

Episode 430 - Dick on Bad Bail

The Joker is sexually assaulted, the longshoremen go on strike, market price for sauce, soapboxing and photoshopping from the parents of dead kids, the cat girl calls in, a man in college is gaslighted, Halloween costumes go more plus size than ever, FEMA, hate speech, and The Disparraging Word, with Sean; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 7 October 2024

Episode 429 - Dick on "The Newly Ped" Game

The "Mr. McMahon" documentary, Moo Deng fever, Cat Girl goes to jail, Maddox defends his bicycle, the president of Haiti drinks water incorrectly, women try to figure out a propeller, millennials and choking, and Collin Shumaker calls in with his hit new flashmob gameshow for pedophiles "The Newly Ped Game"; all that and more this week on The Dick show!

Transcribed - Published: 30 September 2024

Episode 428 - Dick on Character Creation

$6 million squatters, a fake Mexican accent, "Am I Racist?", the IRS Union endorses Kamala, exploding pagers, fat lady firemen, sundown towns, AI vs. men, and Dirty Dalish reads the news; all that and more on this episode of The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 23 September 2024

Episode 427 - Dick on Excuse Me, I'm Speaking

Small businesses claiming parking spots, reverse burns and failed burns, Hamilton sucks, eating dogs and cats, kids selling PS5s in the ghetto, inclusive math, Maddox's How to Punch Up a Script, the my property supercut, and advice for Captain Save-A-Ho; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 16 September 2024

Episode 426 - Dick on Oinkamania

Basically a bloodbath with unexpected guests, secretly recorded phone calls, doubly secretly recorded phone calls, also an all-trans football team, cheating is rampant at the Paralympics, a crow man near me, broken fat people testers at the amusement park, and Maddox's tips on how to improvise during your audio book recording; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 9 September 2024

Episode 425 - Dick on Good Advice

Karl and Vinnie call in for a Scum Parade, Destiny's show in Miami, Brazil is over, girls pretending to be trans women, a guy needs advice with a woman, a woman plays the war game, homework in cubits, and pigeon milk; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 2 September 2024

Episode 424 - Dick on Kamikaze Scooters

Once again I get no credit, an illegal shower, a fat women crashes a scooter, a man throws up in a trash can, a tax on temporarily embarrassed billionaires, someone's girlfriend's sister has huge cans, a gay shirt, Telegram is killed, Rekieta updates, and communists; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 26 August 2024

Episode 423 - Dick on The Infinity Hoop

Lizzo works out, a man has a long distance relationship, evil grocery stores finally get what's coming to them, Maddox sees a psychiatrist and talks about it for some insane reason, promise rings, hate scarves, and Nick Rekeita gets his kids back; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 19 August 2024

Episode 422 - Dick on B-Dancing

Sean's kidney stone, I sink a boat, a woman break dancer gets a zero, the UK police start extraditing thought criminals, Susan Wojcicki goes to hell, Kurt Cobain "unalives" himself, a man thinks about feminism, a convention where women pretend dolls are their children, and how fat is too fat if a girl has huge cans; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 12 August 2024

Episode 421 - Dick on Large-Bodied Bicyclers

Sean has kidney stones, Carl Spitale in studio, lady boxers, men can have babies, race wars, bad dads, and the OnlyFans class action lawsuit; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 5 August 2024

Episode 420 - Dick on Disney Rash

Joe Biden quits the Presidential race because of his donkey brains, a lady sings the national anthem drunk, EBT shopping for junk food, a Midwest "lifestyle" afficianado has some advice, a lady carries a dead sea lion home in her tiny car, more burning candles, a boob job and a "mommy makeover", the Plus Size Park Hoppers get a rash, and advice for how to argue with your girlfriend; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 22 July 2024

Episode 419 - Dick on Big Grrrls Bodyguards

Trump is almost assassinated, women ruined the secret service, a smoke detector goes off in the LBC, a dead animal washes up at the beach, a listener goes to a "lifestyle" party, firemen break a car for fun, and the Plan B pill no longer works on the average American woman and you'll never guess why (they're too fat); all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 15 July 2024

Episode 418 - Dick on New Weights

The Dodgers have an vtuber night, a woman burns down an apartment building, I hate my new weight bench, liberals have messed up a plan, throwing LEGOs away, Maddox contacts the SEC, a guy dumps his gf, an entity walks up a tree, and a fat lady jumps on a box; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcribed - Published: 8 July 2024

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