Episode 509 - Dick on Bad Guy Summer

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Comedy

4.7 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 18 May 2026

⏱️ 122 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

TV bad guys save the world, vending machines vs. future astronauts, trick bath bombs, LA cancels BBQs, homeless police, sports addiction and women's MMA, the Skeletor voice, Mixtape, data centers, Kars 4 Kids, and the fight over Charlie Kirk's everlasting soul; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Alright, okay, cool.
0:05.6	Here we are.
0:07.6	Bubbubbubbubbubbbbbbbbbb.
0:12.0	Okay, cool.
0:17.1	That is us.
0:18.1	I don't hear me or I don't me, because there's no banana running.
0:24.7	Fucking banana, dude. ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ha ha ha ha ha ha haeot queer toys is there
0:54.3	With some
0:57.5	Saying some retarded shit like fucking always
1:00.0	Fucking retarded always shit
1:01.7	Like yeah he does
1:02.8	I wanna leave that open
1:09.1	Oh yeah okay Oh yeah okay D-D-D-D. I'm going to leave that open.
1:14.1	Oh, yeah, okay.
1:17.0	Yeah, I got a good fat lady encounter.
1:19.0	Yeah.
1:20.1	Oh, dude.
1:23.0	Me and my big mouth, dude.
1:28.7	But her and her big ass a scar
1:31.6	if I can cause too many problems
1:34.1	d-de-de-de-de-dee
1:37.2	do-dee
	...

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