Episode 484 - Dick on HIPPO Violations
The Dick Show
Dick Masterson
4.7 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 10 November 2025
⏱️ 138 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
A fat woman complains about her health insurance, 50 year mortgages, a "rape chart", women and Communism, a racist's racist, losing at paintball, and a guy has a terrible girlfriend; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | What? What Mexican food is dirty? According to him. Well, that's all of it. And that's what blew me away. I was like... How was he eating it? Shoveing it up his ass? He wasn't. He wouldn't touch the stuff. Because it's too dirty? It's too dirty. And I'm like, where are you from again? Are you from the... Shittsylvania? Fucking shit in back and people... How many toilets do you have in your town? |
| 0:23.9 | One? |
| 0:24.4 | None. None. Uh, live show. I got a good feeling about the tech today. Dude, I have a rage for you. Okay, what is it? Fucking... Well, we're going, so I can all... Yes, we're amazing. Is this working? Let's make sure this works first. I think it is. Okay. This worked. Yeah. Oh, dude. Okay. Okay. Buddy. I got a fucking rager for you to do. You know what pisses me off? What's that? Mr. Masterson is beating the system. Yeah, you've mentioned that before |
| 0:54.4 | yeah you and i have tried many a time to beat it |
| 0:57.8 | and have succumbed to following it now here was me |
| 1:02.2 | once again being trampled by my own |
| 1:06.3 | what'd you do you do so you know especially with |
| 1:10.4 | where you two are at with the baby right now, right? Yeah. Hell. Hell. It's one of the levels. It's the level of the tenth ring of hell. Correct. Which is, ha ha! That's a god's. Ha ha, sucker. Yeah. Actually, you should have done the opposite of everything that I've been saying to do. The family shit was actually a joke actually a joke. Right. You had it right the first time. Don't get married. Don't have a kid. Well, so here's where I'm going with this, right? Every minute, every second of sleep is crucial, right? Oh, don't even fucking talk to me about missing sleep. I'm not... |
| 1:44.7 | Mr. No... |
| 1:46.0 | Mr. No living with a baby, no wife. |
| 1:49.0 | Not living with your girlfriend, ass, motherfucker. |
| 1:52.0 | Let me tell you something. |
| 1:53.0 | I get that. |
| 1:54.0 | You know what I thought? |
| 1:55.0 | You know what I had this... |
| 1:56.0 | I had the most crystal clear thought I've ever had in my life. |
| 1:59.0 | Like, I was Dr. Manhattan sitting on Mars, and I had this thought in my car driving up to my parents' house for my nephew's birthday. |
| 2:07.9 | My nephew's paintball birthday this weekend, which, by the way, I shouldn't have done because I feel like I got hit by him. |
| 2:13.9 | I feel like Tony Gwyn. |
| 2:15.7 | Mark McGuire cracked me right in my lower back with a... |
| 2:19.3 | Juiced up out of his gourd. |
| 2:21.3 | Hat bursting at the seams. |
... |
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