Episode 499 - Dick on More Ayatollahs

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Comedy

4.7 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 1 March 2026

⏱️ 154 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Israel goes to war with Iran, things are blown up in Dubai, AirBnb-conditioning, Clawdbot vs. Boomers, Sven Stoffels calls in about Butch Killigan 3 and other things, advice on being gay, a wife folds laundry, baby sign language, a woman is addicted to working out, the BAFTA N-word game, and Smiling Friends is over; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Because this stupid house doesn't have central air. Somehow I got sold on these bogus wall units that are like just worthless.
0:07.0	You live in an Airbnb.
0:09.0	Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
0:22.9	You know, Johnny?
0:25.5	That hadn't occurred to me.
0:29.1	Why don't I just get a book about photography and an old camera and a shelf that was put together yesterday and set it up?
0:33.7	I live in an Airbnb.
0:36.7	I'm going to stay it that way too now.
0:38.3	Where I got a...
0:41.3	I live in an Airbnb, where I got an air conditioner on the wall,
0:45.3	that you gotta fuck with a remote, lose the remote.
0:48.3	You know, the most pleasurable experience in life is keeping track of the remote.
0:53.3	So let's slap a remote on your air conditioning.
0:56.0	That'll...
0:57.0	That'll improve the experience.
0:59.0	Did I start this thing?
1:01.0	It doesn't help when it's a house full of all different models of AC with different models of remotes, too.
1:07.0	You know what?
1:08.0	I have the same... they're all the same.
1:10.0	Oh shit. Mitsubishi, yeah, the same. They're all the same. Oh shit.
1:12.6	Mitsubishi, yeah, the best.
1:17.2	That is the best of this dog shit in the wall air conditioning system.
	...

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