Episode 471 - Dick on Walking Into Heaven

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Comedy

4.7 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 11 August 2025

⏱️ 154 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Some classy AI funeral videos, the WNBA puts up a dildo net, Jon Breaks Bad News calls in about a woman's death, Karl Hamberger is sued for $600,000 by Stuttering John, student loans, the war on weed never ends, ego death, and witches on Etsy making bank; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0	You ever live the same fucking day?
0:04.0	Every day for two months?
0:06.0	Oh.
0:08.0	I have.
0:09.0	A month.
0:10.0	I don't even know what day.
0:11.0	I don't even know how long I've been stuck in this fucking time loop.
0:14.0	You look like you've been stuck in the time loop.
0:17.0	Ah.
0:19.0	I've been stuck in it too, so it's okay
0:20.8	You've been stuck in a time loop too?
0:24.6	You think you could just kill me?
0:28.0	Kill somebody.
0:29.2	Look, you figure out, pick somebody to kill him.
0:33.3	Kill them, don't tell me.
0:35.6	Make it look like an accident.
0:37.3	I'm going to say me because I'm being recorded, but you know.
0:40.3	Right.
0:40.9	Use your judgment.
0:42.4	Randomize it.
0:43.8	Don't tell me how you did it.
0:45.2	I don't want to know.
	...

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