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The Dick Show

Episode 479 - Dick on The Pie Piper

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Comedy

4.71.3K Ratings

🗓️ 6 October 2025

⏱️ 146 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A fluffy Latina gets taken down by ICE, baby radio, a man named "Jihad" walks into a synagogue, a bird that yells "help", Community Relations Service is dead, P Diddy court drawings, the healing power of a fried foot, a reality-based ninja, Israel takes a 10/7 VR experience to Christian colleges, and Schizo Sean gets Aaron Imholte thrown in jail; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0

Yeah, that's better. My original question before the audio was turned on was, have you ever

0:06.6

sang that song to a woman? But you...

0:09.7

Don't sing, yeah. Don't start. I don't, yeah.

0:14.1

Hmm. I find myself, um... I find myself thinking about Black Mirror episodes longingly.

0:26.3

Now, I was in the shower before the show.

0:30.1

And I was remembering, I always remember that the Christmas episode of when Don Draper gets

0:36.9

stuck in like a computer simulation that runs

0:40.8

for like a million years or something as a punishment for him being like a pedophile or

0:45.3

something.

0:45.7

I don't remember the episode, but I know he gets stuck in a time loop.

0:48.8

And I watched that episode, first time I'm going like, oh, man, I got a sick feeling.

0:52.7

Oh, man, imagine all that.

0:54.0

And it's nothing to people. They just go, they just dial it up, right? Slow time down, and he's in there being stuck in a time loop. With that Kelly Clarkson song, right? You remember when that first came out? I, unfortunately. Oh, man. I was like, oh, no. I was in there going, oh, no, tonight. It stuck with me for all these years, but I found myself in the shower away from the baby screaming for the first time. It's the only time you can escape the baby is in the shower, basically. Thank God I've been saying how long I take showers my whole life. I'll be in there

1:29.9

for like an hour and a half. I'll be back and you know when he's when he goes to kindergarten.

1:34.2

I found myself in the shower thinking of randomly thinking thoughts and I found my mind wandering to

1:40.1

that Christmas episode of of Black Mirror

1:46.1

and kind of thinking of it fondly.

1:48.6

Like, I wish I could get stuck in a time loop

1:50.8

of...

1:51.4

Just being in the shower.

1:52.8

I wish I could get stuck in that time loop

1:54.8

of Don Draper being stuck in the time loop

...

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