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The Dick Show

Episode 486 - Dick on Grocery Stars

The Dick Show

Dick Masterson

Comedy

4.71.3K Ratings

🗓️ 24 November 2025

⏱️ 175 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Downsyndrome flashcards, my truck slowly breaks down, USPS tries to ban illegal truckers, a bunch of Twitter accounts get doxed, a fat woman has two pieces of cake, Somalians autism epidemic, robot prisons, making ice cream cones with your feel, and Intellectual Property; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Transcript

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0:00.0

Shit works today. I got a good feeling about today.

0:04.0

Well, it's the good thing I started recording so Mr. Reddick can listen to all this.

0:08.0

Did he comment on anything?

0:10.0

No, he didn't comment again. We scared him off.

0:12.0

Ah!

0:13.0

Check, check. Yeah, that sounds great.

0:16.0

Shined a light and scare away all the roaches.

0:18.0

Oh my god. Johnny.

0:27.9

You heard that, all that noise, right?

0:28.5

I did.

0:30.4

If I'd have known then.

0:32.4

If I'd have known then what I know now.

0:41.8

Be a much different Sunday over here. I'd have gone on one more bender if i'd have known

0:53.1

then what i know now i'd have gone on one more bender maybe two i might have gone on two more b have said, ah, fuck it. What if you just went on like a really long bender? Uh, one? If I go on one really long bender? Like a three months long benders? Now? My wife said to me, I don't know why she said this. She goes, well, you know, I just realized that we can't party again until, you know,

1:15.6

he's out of the house.

1:18.1

The baby's out of the house.

1:19.1

I said, fuck, you're right.

1:24.7

I never thought about it like that.

1:27.2

Thanks for, thanks for phrasing it like, thanks for framing it like that. Thanks for,

1:28.0

thanks for phrasing it like,

1:29.4

thanks for framing it like that,

1:31.1

honey.

...

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