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Black Girls Heal

Black Girls Heal

Shena Lashey

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 1.7K Ratings

Overview

Black Girls Heal helps women break out of cycles of unhealthy relationships with unavailable partners and feeling not enough by combining coaching, therapeutic support, and practical tools. Every episode, we will talk about intimacy, attachment, healing unresolved trauma, and growing in our self worth.

307 Episodes

#296: Is it Compatibility or Codependency?

In this episode, Shena discusses how to tell if the connection that you're feeling in a relationship is codependency or compatibility. Resources mentioned in the episode:Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/membersThe 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmapReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 10 June 2025

#295: 3 Mistakes I made Dating as a Love Avoidant

When I was dating, I made a lot of mistakes related to how I presented in my intimacy disorders. This week, I'm talking about how my love avoidance showed up for me in my relationships. For me, my personal experience and how that connected to my religious education really amplified a lot of my avoidance which is also discussed. This episode will not span all of the ways love avoidance can show up in relationships as that as been discussed in previous episodes. But we hope these real experiences will help validate and give solace to the women who need to hear these stories represented.  Resources mentioned in the episode:Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/membersThe 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmapReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 3 June 2025

#294: 3 Hidden Ways We Ignore (and Encourage) Red Flags in Others

In this episode, I review 3 hidden ways we may unknowingly ignore (and encourage) red flags in new people we meet. Resources mentioned in the episode:Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/membersThe 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmapReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 27 May 2025

#293: When You Like Someone as a Love Avoidant

What does it look like to be available to others after you've been working on your love avoidance symptoms.In this episode, I share 3 tips for those who are starting this journey building relationships in a different way.Resources mentioned in the episode:Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/membersThe 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmapReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 20 May 2025

#292: Going from Being Love Avoidant to Love Available

In today's episode, we review going from Love Avoidant to Love Available using the Healed and Loved Woman framework model. Resources mentioned in the episode:Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/membersThe 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmapReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 13 May 2025

#292: Going for Being Love Avoidant to Love Available

In today's episode, we review going from Love Avoidant to Love Available using the Healed and Loved Woman framework model. Resources mentioned in the episode:Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/membersThe 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmapReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 13 May 2025

#291: Don't Text Them (Sit on Your Hands)

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we revisit the topic of 'No Contact' and the seven-day 'Don't Text Them: Sit on Your Effing Hands Challenge.' This discussion is aimed at those caught in addictive or trauma-bonded relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships.  We discuss topics like recognizing toxic relationships, the importance of breaking the cycle for self-healing, and the benefits of having a support system during this process.  We also touch on the new 90-Day No Contact Support Group, offering 90-day support for those serious about cutting trauma bonds. Tune in to learn why you deserve fulfilling relationships and how to reclaim your power and joy. Resources mentioned in the episode:Join the BGH's Members Club: blackgirlsheal.org/membersThe 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmapReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 6 May 2025

#290: Setting Unrealistic Fantasies as a Love Addict (Love Addiction Series)

Watch our free How to Stop Dating the Wrong People & Fix Your Internal Magnet masterclass: Click here register Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance?Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 29 April 2025

#289: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Leads to Love Addiction (Love Addiction Series)

In today's episode I talk about the impact of childhood emotional neglect and how it leads to the behaviours of love addictionWhether you are connected to love addition, love avoidance or low self esteem, if you are wondering why you continue in the same type of self doubts or keep being attracted to certain types of people, my hope is that this episode gives you the validation that you didn't even know you needed and supports you with the right steps you can start taking today MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODEBOOK: Running on Empty - Dr Jonice WebbTherecoveryschool.com Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance?Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 23 April 2025

#288: The 4 Archetypes of Love Addiction

Which love addict archetype do you identify with and how do you begin to heal from it? In this week’s episode of Black Girls Heal, I’m breaking down the four main archetypes of love addiction and why each of these patterns comes with its own unique set of challenges AND beautiful qualities. Whether you're constantly chasing “the one,” afraid to be alone, losing yourself in relationships, or living in a fantasy that never quite matches reality, you’ll likely see yourself in one (or more) of these types. In this episode, we cover…01:15 Understanding the roots of love addiction07:08 Archetype #115:53 Archetype #225:10 Archetype #330:51 Archetype #434:19 The path to becoming love-balanced40:15 How to go deeper with resources and next steps Resources mentioned in the episode:4 Ways to Pick Better Partners as Love Addicts: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/masterclassThe 4 Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/roadmapHow to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/booksReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 15 April 2025

#287: How to Deal with Grief and Unexpectedly Losing a Loved One

How do you hold yourself through grief when it feels too heavy to carry? In this heartfelt episode of Black Girls Heal, I’m sharing my personal reflections and tools for navigating the emotional waves of grief, especially aftera sudden or unexpected loss. Whether it's the loss of a family member, a friend, a beloved pet, or a mentor, grief can shake us to our core. And yet, in the midst of all the confusion, numbness, and pain, we’re still expected to show up for life. This episode is an invitation to slow down and feel what needs to be felt without judgment. In this episode, we cover…01:42 My personal experiences with sudden loss04:19 Why validating your emotions is crucial for healing14:28 How to navigate the “what ifs” and regrets27:09 Practical tools to process grief Resources mentioned in the episode:Join the BGH Members Club: https://black-girls-heal.circle.so/checkout/bgh-members-clubReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 8 April 2025

#285: 3 Mistakes Love Avoidants Make in Dating

Is your fear of intimacy keeping you from the love you want? In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we’re diving deep into love avoidance—what it is, how it shows up, and the mistakes that keep us from building healthy, connected relationships. If you find yourself pulling away when things get too good, struggling to be vulnerable, or avoiding dating altogether, you’re not alone. These patterns often come from past trauma and a desire to protect ourselves, but they can also block the very intimacy we’re craving. Whether you’re just starting to explore this part of your healing or you’ve been working on it for a while, this episode offers real talk and real tools to support your journey. In this episode, we cover…02:43 The most common mistakes love avoidants make in relationships05:35 How trauma creates defense mechanisms that block intimacy14:59 Mistake #1: Getting spooked when things are going well23:20 Mistake #2: Struggling to be emotionally vulnerable30:07 Mistake #3: Avoiding dating altogether36:25 Final reflections and steps to move forward Resources mentioned in the episode:Episode 284: 3 Dating Mistakes to Avoid As A Love Addict: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/284-dating-mistakesHow to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/booksReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 25 March 2025

#284: 3 Dating Mistakes to Avoid as a Love Addict

Are you falling in love with potential instead of reality? In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I’m diving into three critical mistakes love addicts make when dating—mistakes that can keep you stuck in unhealthy cycles. Whether you're unknowingly romanticizing red flags, struggling to walk away from emotionally unavailable partners, or making dating your full-time job, this episode will help you break free from these patterns. In this episode, we cover…03:00 - Why falling in love with potential keeps you stuck10:45 - The importance of trusting your instincts when red flags appear17:30 - How making dating your hobby can lead to emotional burnout24:15 - Breaking the cycle of fantasy-driven relationships30:40 - Practical steps to build a fulfilling life outside of dating Resources mentioned in the episode:Download the Free Love Addiction & Avoidance Roadmap: blackgirlsheal.org/roadmapReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 18 March 2025

#283: How to Host a Healing Circle With Friends

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into how healing circles can transform your journey through love addiction recovery. After years of coaching women through attachment struggles, I've seen firsthand how creating the right community can accelerate healing in ways individual work simply can't. We explore exactly how to build your own healing circle—from finding the right participants to establishing crucial ground rules that create safety for vulnerability. I share practical tips for structuring your meetings, developing a curriculum that promotes real growth, and navigating the inevitable conflicts that arise when people are doing deep healing work together. In this episode, we cover…02:35 - The sisterhood effect on healing03:56 - How to create your own healing circle09:16 - Setting your healing circle up for success17:16 - Ground rules for safety29:13 - Ways to structure your healing circle34:41 - How to ask and provide for feedback 45:42 - How to find your circle sisters Resources mentioned in the episode:Listen to Episode 282: How to Heal in Community (7 Tips to Make Sisterhood Work): blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/282-heal-communityThe Black Girls Healing Circle Workbook: https://amzn.to/3Dx3uDjListen to Episode 56: Starting A Healing Circle: blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/episode-55-starting-a-healing-circleThe Healed and Loved Woman Retreat: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/retreatHow to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/booksReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 11 March 2025

#282: How to Heal in Community (7 Tips to Make Sisterhood Work)

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into something that's essential for our healing journey but often overlooked—the power of sisterhood and community. As someone who's experienced both the isolation of healing alone and the transformative power of healing in community, I'm sharing seven practical tips to help you build and nurture meaningful friendships that support your growth. In this episode, we cover…01:00 The importance of community in healing04:45 Where to find friends15:41 Why you should invest in friendships18:24 Challenges in building friendships26:29 Finding friends with a good track record32:20 How to handle rejection and ghosting35:37 Accepting different levels of friendship42:42 Prioritizing self-care and avoidance to grow your friendships Resources mentioned in the episode:Listen to Episode 56: Starting A Healing Circle: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/episode-55-starting-a-healing-circleThe Black Girls Healing Circle Workbook: https://amzn.to/3Dx3uDjListen to Episode 108: How to Make Adult Female Friendships with Danielle Bayard Jackson: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/episode-108-how-to-make-adult-female-friendships-with-danielle-bayard-jacksonThe Healed and Loved Woman Retreat: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/retreatJoin our email list: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/mailing-listHow to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/booksReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 4 March 2025

#281: Why You Stay in Relationships When You're Tired

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're having an honest conversation about something that hits deep—why we stay in relationships even when we're completely exhausted. From social media discussions to real-life experiences, we're seeing how women often find themselves caught in cycles of emotional labor and self-improvement, all while trying to make a relationship work that's draining their energy. Through my years of coaching women, I've identified the key stages we go through in these relationships: from the initial comfort and commitment, through the stress and burnout, to the moments of clarity that finally lead to change. In this episode, we cover…09:14 Stages of relationship commitment13:35 Stress and burnout in relationships25:49 Emotional and physical impact of relationships36:50 Resignation vs. true self-love45:50 Deep self-forgiveness and trauma work Resources mentioned in the episode:Listen to Episode 174: Healing our Womb and Pelvic Floor with Dr. Alicia Jeffrey-Thomas: https://www.blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/174-healing-our-womb-pelvic-floor-with-dr-alicia-jeffrey-thomasHow to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/booksReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 25 February 2025

#280: How to Cope When Your Dating Partner Stops Responding (No Contact)

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving deep into something that can shake your whole world—when someone you're dating suddenly goes quiet or starts feeding you breadcrumbs of attention. Whether they're ghosting you completely or keeping you hanging with "I'm just busy" texts, we're getting real about what this behavior actually means. Through my years of coaching women through love addiction recovery, I've seen how these disappearing acts can leave us questioning our worth and replaying every moment trying to figure out what we did wrong. Today, I'm breaking down the manipulation tactics some people use to keep you attached, and more importantly, how to recognize them before they drain your energy. In this episode, we cover…03:31 Common manipulation tactics14:24 How to break the self-blame cycle26:02 Doing the inner work31:33 How to communicate your needs39:42 The truth about disappearing acts43:18 Coping with no contact Resources mentioned in the episode:How to Pick Partner Checklist: blackgirlsheal.thrivecart.com/how-to-pick-partners-checklist/Listen to Episode 253: The 4 Steps of No Contact: blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/steps-no-contactListen to Episode 279: 4 Steps to Help Yourself Heal and Relationships to Flourish: blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/279-4-steps-heal-yourself-relationships-flourish How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/booksReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recoveryCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 18 February 2025

#279: 4 Steps to Help Yourself Heal & Relationships to Flourish

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm breaking down the complete framework I use with my coaching clients to transform their relationship patterns — the Bloom Method. After years of helping women heal from love addiction, love avoidance, and love deprivation, I've developed this powerful approach that guides you from identifying toxic roots to cultivating lasting change. Through my work at the Love Addiction Recovery School, I've seen how this method helps women restore their relationship with themselves and create deeper, more authentic connections with others. Think of it like tending a garden: we start by uprooting what no longer serves you, cultivate fresh soil for new growth, harvest the fruits of your work, and learn how to maintain your flourishing garden. In this episode, we cover…00:57 Overview of the Love Addiction Recovery School03:24 The Bloom Method Explained06:23 Step 1: Uprooting the Weeds16:54 Step 2: Cultivating the Ground25:14 Step 3: Harvesting the Fruits29:46 Step 4: Tending and Maintaining Resources mentioned in the episode:Listen to Episode 278: The First Three Steps to Heal Love AddictionReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 11 February 2025

#278: The First 3 Steps to Heal Love Addiction

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal  podcast, we dive deep into the topic of love addiction and explore the steps to break free from its cycles. Learn about the free downloadable resource “The Five Step Roadmap to Heal Love Addiction” and discover how to identify and detox from addictive relationships. We also discuss the importance of addressing unresolved childhood wounds and building a supportive network for effective healing. Whether you are dealing with love addiction, love avoidance, or love deprivation, this episode provides invaluable insights and tools to help you achieve a love-balanced life. In this episode, we cover…03:53 What is Love Addiction?06:51 Steps to heal Love Addiction15:42 Detoxing from addictive relationships30:24 Why you need to clear toxic roots Resources mentioned in the episode:Stop your love addiction patterns in 5 steps using the Heal Love Addiction RoadmapCheck out the How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts bookReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 4 February 2025

#277: 3 Ways to Not Move Too Fast in a New Relationship

As love addicts, it is so easy to fall in love quickly and lose ourselves in the process. In this episode, I give 3 small tips that you can use to slow down getting overconnected to someone in a new relationship. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast?Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org Our Sponsors: * Check out SKIMS: https://skims.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 28 January 2025

#276: How I Use Astrology for Love and Healing

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I'm diving deep into how I personally use astrology as a powerful tool for healing and understanding relationships. As someone who was once skeptical and came from a Christian ministry background, I share how astrology has evolved from being something I dismissed to becoming an invaluable resource in my personal growth and coaching practice. Through breaking down the basics of natal charts, planetary placements, and houses, I explain how astrology is far more complex and personalized than just your sun sign. We explore why your exact birth time and location matter, and how different placements in your chart can affect everything from how you communicate to how you experience love. In this episode, we cover…02:00 - Breaking down astrological basics 14:00 - Understanding houses & planetary placements 31:00 - The importance of birth time & location 42:00 - Breaking down the four key placements 54:00 - Venus & love relationships 01:07:00 - Practical applications in daily life Resources mentioned in the episode:CafeAstrology.comAstrology for the Soul by Jan SpillerReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 21 January 2025

#275: The 7 Levels of Availability for ALL Relationships

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into a game-changing tool that's about to transform how you evaluate potential relationships - the Availability Scale. Drawing from my new book 'How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts,' we're breaking down the seven levels of availability that determine whether someone is truly ready and able to show up in a relationship. We're getting practical about how to identify where potential partners fall on the scale, from those who are fully available for deep, meaningful connections (what I call BLP - Best Friend, Lover, Partner availability) to those who present critical dangers to your emotional wellbeing. In this episode, we cover…04:26 The Seven Levels of Availability08:45 Signs of Availability and Unavailability13:13 Best Friend, Lover, Partner Availability29:39 Good Friend Level Availability34:51 Stranger Danger and Other Dangerous Levels Resources mentioned in the episode:Order How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book.Join the Dating to Win for Love Addicts program.Check out the No Contact Support Kit.Watch the FREE Masterclass: 4 Ways to Pick Better Partners as Love AddictsReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 14 January 2025

#274: 3 Ways to Have the Best Relationships in 2025

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're kicking off 2025 with a powerful conversation about building stronger, healthier relationships - and yes, we're having this talk even through a 103-degree fever because that's how important this message is! Whether you're dealing with love addiction, love avoidance, or just want to level up your relationships this year, we're diving into three game-changing strategies that you can start implementing right now. No more waiting for the "perfect time" or the "right moment" - your journey to better relationships starts today. In this episode, we cover…01:29 Three ways to improve your relationships03:20 How to assess availability in relationships06:03 Stop waiting for the perfect time14:26 Why you should forgive yourself and allow space for growth22:49 Be open to changing your mind26:35 News about upcoming Black Girls Heal events Resources mentioned in the episode:Get your own copy of the How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book.Join The Healed and Loved Woman RetreatJoin the How to Make it Work workshopReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 7 January 2025

#273: How Fear of Abandonment Affects Your Relationships

Fear of abandonment can create a lot of insecurity and conflict in a relationship. In this episode, we break down 3 signs to look out for to add to your recovery plan for healing. Get the New Book here on AmazonRegister for the How to Make it Work Between Love Avoidants and Love Addicts Workshop here Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance?Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast?Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 26 December 2024

#272: 3 Green Flags Someone is Available for Love (How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts)

In this episode, I will go over 3 green flags of availability for healthy partners for love addicts pulling from my new book, How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts.Get the New Book here on AmazonRegister for the How to Make it Work Between Love Avoidants and Love Addicts Workshop here Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast?Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 18 December 2024

#271: 3 Tips to Deal with Holiday Overwhelm, Stress & Mental Fatigue

On top of the normal holiday overwhelm, it seems like many of us are dealing with fatigue that we just can't catch a break. In today's episode, I give 3 tips to help support where you are. Enroll in the 60 Day Love Avoidant Rehab Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Click here to join our The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast?Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements CONNECT WITH US ELSEWHEREWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls HealWebsite: Blackgirlsheal.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 12 December 2024

#270: 4 Ways to Tell the Friendship May Be Temporary

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into a topic that often brings up complex emotions - recognizing when friendships might be temporary. You know those relationships that feel so intense and meaningful in the moment, but somehow don't stand the test of time? Let's talk about why that happens and why it might actually be perfectly okay. Through sharing personal stories and insights from my upcoming book 'How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts', we're exploring four key ways to understand the natural ebb and flow of friendships. Whether it's bonding over shared interests, connecting through shared trauma, building relationships in forced environments like work or school, or finding yourself in life transitions - each type of friendship serves its own beautiful purpose. This isn't about labeling friendships as "less than" because they might be temporary. Instead, we're reframing how we view these connections, understanding that not every friend is meant to be in our lives forever, and that's perfectly okay. From navigating workplace friendships to understanding how religious communities impact our connections, we're getting real about what makes relationships stick or shift. In this episode, we cover…03:14 Why temporary friendship exists04:11 Four signs of temporary friendships18:16 The complexity of building friendships34:26 How to navigate transitional friendships36:57 The importance of clear communication in friendships44:59 Why you should still embrace temporary friendships46:17 Upcoming book releases  Resources mentioned in the episode:Grab copies of my books, How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts and No Contact Support BookListen to Episode 263: Checking the Facts When You're in ConflictListen to Episode 253: The 4 Steps of No ContactReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 26 November 2024

#269: Navigating Seasons of Relational Conflict (Throwback episode)

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into something all of us face but nobody really wants to talk about - those seasons when it feels like you're in conflict with EVERYONE. You know those times? When it seems like every conversation is tense, every interaction is challenging, and you're starting to wonder if maybe you're the problem? First, take a deep breath. Because what if I told you these seasons of conflict aren't here to break you - they're here to build you? What if every misunderstanding, every tough conversation, every moment that makes you want to scream into your pillow is actually an invitation to grow? We're getting real about how to take care of yourself when it feels like you're swimming in difficult energy. From dealing with current conflicts to processing unresolved issues from your past, I'm sharing four practical strategies that have helped not just my clients, but myself too, in navigating these stormy seasons. In this episode, we cover…01:00 Understanding why seasons of conflict happen02:52 Opportunities for growth during seasons of conflict08:14 How to deal with misunderstandings19:57 Why you should be teachable25:31 Reflecting on past conflicts Resources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 19 November 2024

#268: 4 Reasons to Be Proud of Yourself

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're taking a moment to celebrate YOU. Yes, you! We're shifting away from our usual conversations about red flags and relationship challenges to focus on something equally important - acknowledging just how far you've come in your healing journey. You know those moments when you catch a red flag early? When you trust your gut instead of second-guessing yourself? When you look in the mirror and actually like who you see? Those aren't small wins - they're evidence of your incredible growth, and it's time we celebrate them! Through personal stories and real-life examples, we're diving into the beautiful transformation that happens when we start recognizing our own progress. From being able to spot those red flags quicker (instead of six months down the line!), to actually trusting ourselves more than other people's opinions, to developing that genuine self-love that isn't dependent on anyone else's validation - these are all victories worth celebrating. This conversation isn't just about patting ourselves on the back - it's about acknowledging that every step forward in our healing journey matters. Whether you're just starting out or you're well along your path, there's something powerful about stopping to recognize how far you've come. In this episode, we cover…02:47 Why you should recognize your growth03:31 Embracing your wisdom05:13 How to navigate life's challenges06:30 Understanding self-knowledge08:26 How to build self-love09:42 Having faith beyond relationships19:22 The power of self-liking Resources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Penguin Random House: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 12 November 2024

#267: 3 Ways to Cope When They Don't Care

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're getting real about something that hits deep - what do you do when someone just stops showing up for you emotionally? You know that feeling when their energy shifts, the care fades, and you're left wondering what happened? After seeing so many TikTok conversations about love avoidance and no contact, I knew it was time to dive into this topic heart-first. Because let's be honest - whether it's a romantic partner, a friend, or even family, that emotional withdrawal hits different when it comes from someone you truly care about. This isn't just another "move on" conversation. We're getting into the nitty-gritty of how to hold onto your worth when someone's actions (or lack thereof) have you questioning everything. I'm sharing three powerful strategies that have helped not just my clients, but myself too, in navigating these tough waters. In this episode, we cover…04:31 When you grieve the fantasy of relationships06:35 Your coping toolkit08:52 Coping Strategy 115:57 Coping Strategy 221:46 Coping Strategy 335:41 The No-Contact Strategy Resources mentioned in the episode:Listen to Episode 266: 7 Benefits of Taking it Slow in a RelationshipListen to Episode 137: 4 Ways to Exit Love DeprivationGet your 90-Day No-Contact KitReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Quince: https://quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 5 November 2024

#266: 7 Benefits of Taking it Slow in a Relationship

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we dive into the seven benefits of taking it slow in a relationship — the power of a 'slow burn.'  I discuss the reasons behind why rushing into relationships can be problematic, especially for love addicts, and share practical tips on how to pace relationships effectively.  I also explore how going slow helps in truly understanding your partner, avoiding unhealthy attachments, and building a stronger foundation for your love story.  This episode is perfect for hopeless romantics who want to avoid 'struggle love' and genuinely find a fulfilling relationship. In this episode, we cover…00:17 Understanding love addiction and avoidance2:55 Seven benefits of going slow in relationships28:36 The impact of sex and affection34:40 Self-love and building a fulfilling life Resources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled. Get 25% off enrollment through November 1st using the code NEWSTUDENT.Enroll in Dating 101 for Love Addicts if you are ready to choose the RIGHT ones to love without losing yourself.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out NPR: npr.org * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 29 October 2024

#265: 3 Hidden Ways We Ignore (and Encourage) Red Flags in Others

In this episode, I review 3 hidden ways we may unknowingly ignore (and encourage) red flags in new people we meet. Our Sponsors: * Check out NPR: npr.org * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 23 October 2024

#264: “Am I Quitting?” and the Future of Black Girls Heal

In this episode, I talk about why I'm quitting and what's coming next for Black Girls Heal! Resources mentioned in the episode:Register for the BGH Lover Girl's Weekend Workshop on Saturday,, February 8, 2025 at blackgirlsheal.org/eventsReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled. Get 25% off enrollment through November 1st using the code NEWSTUDENTBook a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out NPR: npr.org * Check out Sunbasket: https://sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 17 October 2024

#263: Checking the Facts When You're in Conflict

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we explore the importance of checking the facts when feeling threatened, especially for those healing from trauma.  We discuss how trauma can heighten our threat response, making it difficult to discern real threats from perceived ones. The episode delves into the skill of 'checking the facts,' a concept derived from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), outlining practical steps to take for regulating emotions and improving conflict resolution.  My personal stories and examples highlight the nuances of threat perception, emotional regulation, and the impact of trauma on relationships.  We also tackle the challenge of making amends if you realize you've misunderstood a situation or person.  Tune in for essential tips on fostering better personal relationships and self-awareness. In this episode, we cover…01:06 Understanding trauma and threat response02:55 The skill of “Checking the Facts”04:20 Dialectical Behavior Therapy Explained07:03 Personal reflections on trauma responses18:42 Steps to check the facts30:17 Why you should challenge your assumptions44:36 How to make amends with healthy and available people Resources mentioned in the episode:Book a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 1 October 2024

#262: What To Do When You Feel Rejected

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into the poignant topic of rejection, inspired by heartfelt conversations from my recent cruise trip. Focusing on love addiction, I discuss the fear of abandonment and the insecurities it breeds. Together, we explore how to cope with rejection, understand its impact, and reclaim our power. You'll learn about the importance of not internalizing rejection, viewing it as a reflection of the other person's issues, and embracing your true self. Join me as we unravel the layers of rejection and discover ways to heal and grow. In this episode, we cover…02:29 How to cope with rejection05:23 Examples of rejection07:23 Dealing with rejection14:39 Why you should embrace your true self22:01 Avoiding relationship pitfalls Resources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 25 September 2024

#261: The Importance of Pacing While Dating + Checking In

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into a major milestone — our very first video podcast episode! After years of audio-only recordings, I am showing up in video to connect with you more intimately. I start with a heartfelt check-in, sharing my personal experiences of transitions and the collective 'hell' many of us have gone through recently in various aspects of our lives. Today's episode is all about understanding the importance of pacing in dating for love addicts, discussing how unresolved traumas, father wounds, and touch starvation can lead us to rush into relationships. Learn practical steps on how to pace yourself, maintain your identity, and find joy in your current life while still holding space for the love you desire. Plus, get updates on the new format of the Recovery School and upcoming changes in my services. This episode is packed with insights and actionable advice to help you on your journey to healing and self-love. In this episode, we cover…04:09 Navigating personal transitions06:05 Why you should embrace the unknown13:22 Healthy Love vs. Love Addiction19:14 The importance of pacing in relationships30:06 Leveling up in healing32:22 How unresolved father wounds affect pacing in relationships39:09 What is touch starvation?47:30 How to ground in your own life54:20 Upcoming changes and announcements to Black Girls Heal Resources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Book a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 17 September 2024

#260: Doing No Contact with a Co-Parent

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I delve into the intricacies of implementing a no-contact process while co-parenting. This much-requested topic focuses on maintaining emotional neutrality and setting firm boundaries when you have to communicate with a co-parent for the sake of your children. I’ll share practical steps and tips designed to help you stay centered and avoid the emotional triggers that led you to this place. Disclaimer: This advice is not suitable for relationships involving physical domestic violence; please seek appropriate support if that is your situation. In this episode, we cover…01:41 Challenges of co-parenting during no-contact03:23 An important disclaimer05:50 Importance of emotional neutrality11:48 Seeing your co-parent as a co-worker24:13 Using parenting apps for communication27:00 How to set boundaries to avoid emotional traps31:40 How to deal with toxic relationships39:28 Communicating with children during no contact Resources mentioned in the episode:Get the support of our 90-Day No Contact Support Kit to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.Listen to Episode 253: The 4 Steps of No ContactReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out ByHeart and use my code BGH for a great deal: byheart.com * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out Quince: quince.com/bgh * Check out Sunbasket: sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 3 September 2024

#259: What to Do When You Like Someone as a Love Avoidant

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we're diving into the world of love avoidance and how to navigate new relationships when you're healing from it. We'll talk about understanding intimacy disorders, recovering from those avoidant patterns, and how to communicate your needs in a healthy way. Whether you're just starting in your recovery, you're in a new relationship, or even in a long-term one, this episode is packed with tips to help you stay balanced and build stronger connections. In this episode, we cover…01:33 Understanding Love Avoidance02:30 The different archetypes of intimacy disorders 03:22 How to navigate love addiction and avoidance05:26 Practical tips for love avoidants10:12 Ways to share your life as a recovering love avoidant19:00 How to initiate compliments and kindness25:09 Why you should embrace vulnerability Resources mentioned in the episode:Listen to Episode 258: What to Do When You Like Someone as a Love AddictReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out ByHeart and use my code BGH for a great deal: byheart.com * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out Sunbasket: sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 27 August 2024

#258: What to Do When You Like Someone as a Love Addict

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into the intricacies of managing romantic relationships for those in recovery from love addiction. We discuss the importance of staying in touch with your body, practicing self-affirmation, and maintaining your own life and identity. These actionable tips are geared to help you stay balanced while developing healthy, secure connections. Whether you're in a new relationship or already partnered, these strategies will guide you towards emotional stability and personal growth. In this episode, we cover…01:08 Understanding love addiction02:22 Symptoms of love addiction04:07 Keys to staying balanced in relationships13:38 The importance of self-affirmation21:14 Why you should maintain your own life Resources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out ByHeart and use my code BGH for a great deal: byheart.com * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out Sunbasket: sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 20 August 2024

#257: How Fantasy Fuels Unrealistic Expectations

You know that feeling when things don't go as planned and you're left feeling disappointed? Yeah, we've all been there. This week on the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving deep into how to manage unrealistic expectations and fantasies in your relationships so you can avoid those heartbreaks. We're going to break down how to set realistic standards, the difference between your hopes and someone else's reality, and why putting people on pedestals is a one-way ticket to heartbreak. Tune in to learn how to keep your heart happy and your expectations in check. In this episode, we cover…03:32 Understanding why you have unrealistic expectations04:02 The impact of high expectations in relationships04:35 How to balance standards and emotional safety05:43 Why you should see people for who they are10:16 How to avoid the pedestal trap15:59 Breaking the cycle of unrealistic expectations Resources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out ByHeart and use my code BGH for a great deal: byheart.com * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out Sunbasket: sunbasket.com/BLACKGIRLSHEAL * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 13 August 2024

#256: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Sparks Addictive Relationships

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal, we’re going to be talking about something really deep today: how what happened to us as kids can mess with our love lives BIG TIME. We're diving into childhood emotional neglect and how it can lead to those addictive relationships we sometimes find ourselves in. It's wild how many of us deal with the fallout from not feeling seen or heard as kids. It's like this sneaky little pattern that shows up in our adult lives, making us chase love in all the wrong places. We'll break down what emotional neglect actually looks like, how it sticks with us, and how it sparks addictive relationships. Don't worry! This episode isn't just about the problem. We're gonna talk about healing too. It's all about understanding where this stuff comes from so we can start breaking those unhealthy patterns and building the love we deserve. In this episode, we cover…00:17 What is childhood emotional neglect?01:47 The impact of childhood emotional neglect on relationships03:08 What is love addiction?03:32 Signs of emotional neglect in your life06:51 How to break the cycle of emotional neglect09:03 The connection between neglect and love addiction12:03 Steps to overcome love addiction24:00 Why you should heal with a community Resources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Sign up for the Healed and Loved Woman Retreat waitlist.Running On Empty by Jonice WebbCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out ByHeart and use my code BGH for a great deal: byheart.com * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 6 August 2024

#255: Hard Lessons Learned After 10 Years in Love Addiction Recovery

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, I dive deep into the lessons I've learned over my 10 years of recovery from love addiction. This journey has been incredibly personal and transformative. Many of you have watched and supported me through it all—clients, friends, and those who know me through this podcast. I reflect on the challenges, the growth, and the relationships that have shaped me, culminating in a discussion inspired by a poignant poem that has guided me. Join me as I share my story, my insights as a therapist, and the lessons that have helped me build a stronger, healthier relationship with myself. Whether you're just starting your journey or have been here for a while, I hope my experiences resonate with you and offer inspiration for your own path to self-acceptance and self-love. In this episode, we cover…00:57 My journey of love addiction recovery02:09 The poem that changed everything03:37 My personal background and struggles with love addiction06:56 Lessons from my love addiction recovery journey13:08 The turning point in my love addiction recovery journey15:29 How I embraced self-love and independence39:03 Final reflections and takeaways Resources mentioned in the episode:Join our 90-Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out ByHeart and use my code BGH for a great deal: byheart.com * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 30 July 2024

#254: How to Stop Financial Codependency

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive deep into financial codependency—a pattern where you feel obligated to support others financially, even to your own detriment. We explore its roots, how it manifests in various relationships, and the emotional toll it takes. You'll learn about practical steps to break free from this cycle, including a 90-day no-contact financial challenge to help reset your finances and reclaim your well-being. We also provide resources to support your journey, including workshops on money trauma and no-contact groups. Join us as we focus on reclaiming control, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing self-care in your financial life. In this episode, we cover…02:47 What does financial codependency mean?03:47 How to recognize financial codependency in relationships08:21 How to start breaking the cycle of financial codependency25:52 How to implement no-contact with financial codependency32:34 Practical steps for financial independence43:16 Resources to support your no-contact journey Resources mentioned in the episode:Join our 90-Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.Start healing the wounds that sabotage financial goals, increase fear and anxiety around money, and interrupt the ability to enjoy financial abundance and prosperity through the Money Rehab workshop.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out ByHeart and use my code BGH for a great deal: byheart.com * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 23 July 2024

#253: The 4 Steps of No Contact

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, I talk about the power of "no contact" as a tool to finally break free from toxic relationships.You know how it goes – you finally decide to walk away, but somehow, you end up back in contact with that person who just brings you down. It's frustrating, right? Well, here's the thing: most setbacks in our healing journeys happen because we keep connections with folks who are bad for us.In the episode, I'll walk you through four key steps to make no-contact work. We'll talk about the withdrawal symptoms you might experience, both physical and emotional (because yes, this can be a rollercoaster!). I'll also share tips on setting intentions for your no-contact period and how to cut off those lingering fantasies that hold you back. In this episode, we cover…00:58 What is No-Contact?02:45 Why you should take a 90-day break03:10 Four steps to no-contact03:47 Withdrawal symptoms you might experience16:20 What it looks like to cut off all contact21:17 How to cut off lingering fantasies29:26 Support resources to start your no-contact journey Resources mentioned in the episode:Join our 90-Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 16 July 2024

#252: Don’t text them - Sit on Your Hands

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we revisit the topic of 'No Contact' and the seven-day 'Don't Text Them: Sit on Your Effing Hands Challenge.' This discussion is aimed at those caught in addictive or trauma-bonded relationships, whether romantic, familial, or friendships. We discuss topics like recognizing toxic relationships, the importance of breaking the cycle for self-healing, and the benefits of having a support system during this process. We also touch on the new 90-Day No Contact Support Group, offering 90-day support for those serious about cutting trauma bonds. Tune in to learn why you deserve fulfilling relationships and how to reclaim your power and joy. In this episode, we cover…01:05 The importance of no contact05:04 The Sit on Your Hands Challenge05:28 Who this episode is for and not for16:34 How to recognize avoidant behavior21:58 How to start making decisions from a place of wholeness23:13 Implementing the Sit on Your Hands Challenge24:06 Handling communication during the challenge25:08 Ways to focus on yourself and other relationships28:58 How to respond to their messages32:42 Ways to engage in self-care and hobbies Resources mentioned in the episode:Join our 90 Day No Contact Support Group to help you break your trauma bonded relationships, build a full life outside of the connection, heal related anxieties, and make space for healthy love.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 9 July 2024

Join our new free Black Girls Heal Circle Community

Join our free Black Girls Heal Circle Community for access to:Inspiration and support regarding love addiction, love avoidance, healing trauma and improving your self esteemAccess to our free resource libraryConnect & build sisterhood with other women on their healing journey as well Click here to join the new free Black Girls Heal Circle Community Our Sponsors: * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 4 July 2024

#251: Surrender and Letting Go (Just Let Them Be)

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we discuss the challenging yet liberating process of surrender and letting go. We explore themes such as grieving, setting boundaries, and focusing on self-love, supported by a poignant poem 'Just Let Them' by Cassie Phillips. We also go into the three key takeaways: realizing you can't control others, being open to love and connection, and mastering the art of balanced surrender. Additionally, we introduce various support resources including the co-contact support group, love avoidance healing programs, and more. This episode is a heartfelt guide towards self-healing and embracing the goodness life offers. In this episode, we cover…01:00 Why surrendering and letting go are necessary02:32 Poem: Just Let Them by Cassie Phillips04:17 Reflections on the poem10:36 Takeaway 1: Realizing you can't control others16:52 Takeaway 2: Being available to let others in30:42 Takeaway 3: Why you must surrender36:44 Program announcements Resources mentioned in the episode:Pre-enroll in The Prosperous Podcaster and save $250 off. We start on July 2, 2024.Sign up for the Healed and Loved Woman Retreat waitlist.Join the waitlist for The No Contact Guide for Love Addicts. Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 2 July 2024

#250: How to Feel Deserving

In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we discuss the crucial topic of feeling deserving and why it's essential for receiving the love you desire. We explore how internalizing negative beliefs and trauma can lead to feeling undeserving, even when we outwardly affirm our worth. You'll learn practical steps to identify the emotional 'weeds' that choke your growth, including energy-draining relationships and perfectionist tendencies. Additionally, we discuss the importance of self-love, self-compassion, and clearing stored trauma from your body. This episode aims to guide you through the first step of the four-step bloom method to help your relationships flourish, ensuring you are on the path to feeling truly deserving of love and happiness. In this episode, we cover…01:03 Understanding deservingness03:04 Identifying emotional weeds05:13 Clearing emotional blockages05:29 Identifying energy drains in your relationships09:43 How perfectionism plays a role in low self-worth22:39 Tools for healing27:24 Why you need to consider bodywork to heal trauma Resources mentioned in the episode:Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Listen to Episode 248: Getting Out of the Negative in RelationshipsCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out NPR: npr.org * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com * Check out undefined: undefined Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 25 June 2024

#249: Conquering the Fear of Being Seen

In today’s episode, we get into the topic of the fear of being seen, exploring the underlying trauma that leads to avoidance behaviors and vulnerability in relationships. We discuss the common thoughts, actions, and patterns that arise when individuals struggle with feeling exposed and unworthy. Additionally, we address the impact of childhood trauma, emotional neglect, and exclusion on the development of these fears. Episode 249 also highlights the symptoms of low self-worth and how they manifest in perfectionism, people-pleasing, and self-abandonment. In this episode, we cover…04:04 Common patterns when you have a fear of being seen04:48 The risk of personal development07:55 Using perfectionism and people-pleasing as ways to exempt yourself from criticisms11:09 Self-abandonment as a means to hide yourself12:09 Making a list of things you're proud of about yourself13:16 Why being humble is actually quiet confidence14:47 Why you're afraid of people getting access to you15:45 The traumas that lead to fear of being seen21:08 How the fear of being seen manifests for love addicts25:04 How the fear of being seen manifests for love avoidants26:45 Disassociating to keep yourself safe31:28 How to work on your fear of being seen Resources mentioned in the episode:Sign up for the Healed and Loved Woman Retreat waitlist.Listen to Episode 163: How Childhood Emotional Neglect Leads to Love AddictionReady to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out NPR: npr.org * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com * Check out undefined: undefined Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 18 June 2024

#248: Getting Out of the Negative in Relationships

In this episode, I discuss the importance of moving from negative relationship patterns to positive, healed, and love-filled connections. I also talk about the common pitfalls of remaining in negative relational spaces, the impacts of childhood emotional neglect, and the signs of low self-worth. You’ll get to know what it means to reach a baseline in emotional health and relationships and, ultimately, how to grow towards a healed and loved woman status. Listen to get actionable advice on stepping away from unhealthy relationships, identifying roadblocks, and embracing one's personal needs. In this episode, we cover…06:45 Why you operate in a deficit in relationships12:19 How childhood emotional neglect affects you and your relationships16:54 What it looks like to be in a relationship with a dominant and passive partner18:44 The risk that happens when you still don't get to the baseline of relationships22:12 Why you still struggle with low self-worth (even if you don't think that you are)25:50 Why you need to make yourself available for happiness31:13 The healed and loved woman standard for relationships32:40 What it looks like to be in the negative baseline in relationships33:44 What the baseline standard is for relationships40:06 Why you're encouraged to do healing work in a community41:09 Shena's personal story of healing in a community41:57 Why you need to share your story42:48 No contact as a healing agent Resources mentioned in the episode:Join the FREE Recovery School Open House on Tuesday, June 18th at 6:30 PM CST. Register here.Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.Listen to Episode 239: Secret Narcissistic Lovebombing Techniques that You Need to KnowCan’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements. Connect with us:Website: Blackgirlsheal.orgInstagram: @BlackGirlsHealTikTok: @blackgirlshealFacebook: Black Girls Heal Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode. Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code BGH for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out NPR: npr.org * Check out OSEA and use my code BGH for a great deal: oseamalibu.com * Check out eHarmony: www.eharmony.com * Check out undefined: undefined Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 10 June 2024

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