My job is to somehow make them curious enough or persuade them by hook or crow to get more aware of themselves and where they came from and what they are into and what is already there.

Just to bring it out. This is what

compels me to compel them. And I will do it by whatever means necessary. Welcome to the Black

Girls Hill podcast where we talk about healing our intimacy disorders and resolve trauma

and building a healthy relationship with first ourselves and then

others. Every episode, we will talk about advice you can apply today to bring unhealthy patterns

and grow in your self-work. I'm Sheena Lachay, love addiction coach and trauma specialist.

Let's begin.

So we are in an epidemic of women who are in relationships that are solely destroying them from

the inside. They are draining their energy. They may be feeling defeated. They may be feeling

demoralized. They may be feeling depressed in thinking that this is just how relationships are.

This is just how men are. This is just how it needs to be or how it is for everybody.

And so they'll share with us.

They will vent.

They will complain.

They will ask for advice.

And when they get feedback that tells them that maybe this isn't normal, that there

can be a better way, that what is happening

is actually not just idiosyncrasies of a relationship, that maybe this is a sign that there's

something wrong and that they should look deeper into it. All of a sudden, walls come up,

maybe defenses come up, maybe excuses come up that protect the other person, maybe they

stop talking to us. But we can

...