#280: How to Cope When Your Dating Partner Stops Responding (No Contact)
Black Girls Heal
Shena Lashey
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 18 February 2025
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving deep into something that can shake your whole world—when someone you're dating suddenly goes quiet or starts feeding you breadcrumbs of attention. Whether they're ghosting you completely or keeping you hanging with "I'm just busy" texts, we're getting real about what this behavior actually means.
Through my years of coaching women through love addiction recovery, I've seen how these disappearing acts can leave us questioning our worth and replaying every moment trying to figure out what we did wrong. Today, I'm breaking down the manipulation tactics some people use to keep you attached, and more importantly, how to recognize them before they drain your energy.
In this episode, we cover…
- 03:31 Common manipulation tactics
- 14:24 How to break the self-blame cycle
- 26:02 Doing the inner work
- 31:33 How to communicate your needs
- 39:42 The truth about disappearing acts
- 43:18 Coping with no contact
Resources mentioned in the episode:
- How to Pick Partner Checklist: blackgirlsheal.thrivecart.com/how-to-pick-partners-checklist/
- Listen to Episode 253: The 4 Steps of No Contact: blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/steps-no-contact
- Listen to Episode 279: 4 Steps to Help Yourself Heal and Relationships to Flourish: blackgirlsheal.org/podcast/279-4-steps-heal-yourself-relationships-flourish
- How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts book: blackgirlsheal.org/books
- Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled: blackgirlsheal.org/love-addiction-recovery
- Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements: blackgirlsheal.org/retired
Connect with us:
- Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
- Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
- TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
- Facebook: Black Girls Heal
Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | My job is to somehow make them curious enough or persuade them by hook or crow to get more aware of themselves and where they came from and what they are into and what is already there. |
| 0:20.0 | Just to bring it out. This is what |
| 0:22.1 | compels me to compel them. And I will do it by whatever means necessary. Welcome to the Black |
| 0:30.2 | Girls Hill podcast where we talk about healing our intimacy disorders and resolve trauma and building |
| 0:36.0 | a healthy relationship with first ourselves and then |
| 0:38.6 | others. Every episode, we will talk about advice you can apply today to break unhealthy patterns |
| 0:44.4 | and grow in your self-work. I'm Sheena LaShea, love addiction coach and trauma specialists. |
| 0:50.0 | Let's begin. Hello, hello. Welcome to the latest episode of Black Girls Heal. I am overjoyed to be with you today. |
| 0:59.7 | So in today's episode, we are talking about what to do when you're a dating partner, your |
| 1:05.5 | relationship partner goes no contact with you. So this could be someone that you are dating casually, someone that you |
| 1:13.4 | are really excited about, and then all of a sudden they go ghosts. This could also be someone that |
| 1:18.0 | you've been dating for a long time, and all of a sudden there's radio silence, and it is very |
| 1:22.3 | hurtful, and you don't know why or where this is coming from, and they're not responsive to |
| 1:27.4 | answering you why. |
| 1:29.3 | It could be someone that you are in the middle of, like, about to make things official. |
| 1:35.0 | And maybe they're not completely going no contact, but they are really busy all of a sudden. |
| 1:41.5 | They tell you that they have a lot of work going on or that they're |
| 1:44.9 | going to be gone for a little bit. In a ways that they are communicating is less intentional than it |
| 1:51.0 | used to be before, because you've been having such a good set of communication patterns up until now, |
| 1:57.0 | you're thinking, well, maybe this is a me thing and your defenses are down and you're trying |
| 2:01.9 | to give them the benefit of the doubt, but they are not being responsive to your needs. And so, again, |
| 2:07.8 | you're dealing with a whole lot of sadness, grief, frustration, confusion, and wondering what's gone |
... |
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