#315: Oldest Daughters and Childhood Emotional Neglect
Black Girls Heal
Shena Lashey
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 2 December 2025
⏱️ 31 minutes
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Summary
In this episode, I review how childhood emotional neglect may show up for oldest daughters in childhood and how it manifests in adulthood.
Resources mentioned:
Heal the Ache of Childhood Emotional Neglect:http://blackgirlsheal.org/neglect
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | My job is to somehow make them curious enough or persuade them by hook or crow to get more aware of themselves and where they came from and what they are into and what is already there. |
| 0:20.0 | Just to bring it out. This is what |
| 0:22.1 | compels me to compel them. And I will do it by whatever means necessary. Welcome to the Black |
| 0:30.2 | Girls Hill podcast where we talk about healing our intimacy disorders and resolve trauma |
| 0:35.0 | and building a healthy relationship with first ourselves and then |
| 0:38.6 | others. Every episode, we will talk about advice you can apply today to bring unhealthy patterns |
| 0:44.4 | and grow in your self-work. I'm Sheena Lachay, love addiction coach and trauma specialist. |
| 0:50.0 | Let's begin. Hello, hello, and welcome to the latest episode of Black Girls Heal. Today we are talking about |
| 0:57.2 | childhood emotional neglect, but specifically what childhood emotional neglect looks like in regards |
| 1:02.4 | to our birth order. So if you have siblings and you are either the oldest, the middle, |
| 1:06.8 | or the youngest, we will be talking about that in a series over the next couple of weeks |
| 1:11.0 | to look at what are some of the unique challenges that you may have experienced in your childhood |
| 1:16.0 | that may qualify as childhood emotional neglect. So here, Black Girls heal. What I specialize in is |
| 1:22.4 | love addiction, which is the persistent obsession of a person, a relationship, or the fantasy |
| 1:26.9 | of a person or relationship |
| 1:28.3 | and mistaking it for love. So people who may qualify as love addicts who may fall under people |
| 1:33.6 | who relate to the term limerence, which is the over-infactuation and over-connection with someone |
| 1:39.1 | and considering it love. It looks like self-abandoning for the sake of the relationship, trying to keep the person, |
| 1:45.8 | trying to change yourself, trying to become needless or wantless, leaning into codependency and self-martyrdom. |
| 1:54.1 | So this overattachment to love is this idea that if I can be with the right person, if I can be in |
| 1:59.2 | this relationship, if I can make it work, then it will resolve something within me. Sometimes that's a conscious thought. Sometimes |
| 2:04.8 | it's not conscious. It's just shown by the way that you pursue certain relationships. But love |
... |
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