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Black Girls Heal

#275: The 7 Levels of Availability for ALL Relationships

Black Girls Heal

Shena Lashey

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 14 January 2025

⏱️ 44 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of the Black Girls Heal podcast, we're diving into a game-changing tool that's about to transform how you evaluate potential relationships - the Availability Scale. Drawing from my new book 'How to Pick Partners for Love Addicts,' we're breaking down the seven levels of availability that determine whether someone is truly ready and able to show up in a relationship.


We're getting practical about how to identify where potential partners fall on the scale, from those who are fully available for deep, meaningful connections (what I call BLP - Best Friend, Lover, Partner availability) to those who present critical dangers to your emotional wellbeing.


In this episode, we cover…

  • 04:26 The Seven Levels of Availability
  • 08:45 Signs of Availability and Unavailability
  • 13:13 Best Friend, Lover, Partner Availability
  • 29:39 Good Friend Level Availability
  • 34:51 Stranger Danger and Other Dangerous Levels


Resources mentioned in the episode:


Connect with us:


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Transcript

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0:00.0

My job is to somehow make them curious enough or persuade them by hook or crow to get more aware of themselves and where they came from and what they are into and what is already there is to bring it out. This is what

0:22.1

compels me to compel them. And I will do it by whatever means necessary. Welcome to the Black

0:30.2

Girls Hill podcast where we talk about healing our intimacy disorders and resolve trauma and building a

0:36.2

healthy relationship with first ourselves and then others.

0:39.7

Every episode, we will talk about advice you can apply today to break unhealthy patterns and grow

0:45.1

in your self-work. I'm Sheena Lachay, love addiction coach and trauma specialist. Let's begin.

0:52.8

Hello, hello, and welcome to the latest episode of Black Girls Heal.

0:56.7

I'm so happy to be with you today.

0:59.9

Happy January to all.

1:02.4

Well, unfortunately I do.

1:04.0

I do want to break my normal blessings and cheer to say all of the listeners who are living in California, especially in the L.A. area,

1:16.6

you have loved ones in the California area.

1:19.3

I just want to send you all with my comfort and my prayers during this time.

1:26.2

Some of you know that I was a natural disaster victim myself several years ago,

1:32.9

except for me, we were flood victims and lost everything.

1:36.2

And so I just want to, from someone who's gone through that and fear and everything that comes

1:42.4

with that, again, I just want to send you all of my

1:45.2

love and all my blessings. And I really, really pray that you are surrounded with many and friends

1:49.7

and family and that there are resources that continue to be available for those who need to

1:55.0

rebuild during this time. And to take your time, you know, I had PTSD for about a year,

2:02.3

afterwards, fear of hearing the rain and all these other things.

2:05.9

And I'm a therapist and I still, I was so used to pushing through trauma and pain

...

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