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Baby Geniuses

Lisa Hanawalt and Emily Heller

Comedy, Arts, Performing Arts, Comedy Interviews, Leisure, Podcast, Home & Garden, Wikipedia, Maximumfun, Gardening, Maxfun, Lisa, Character, Emily, Heller, Banchunch, Wiki Of The Week, Hanawalt, Tuca & Bertie, Martha Stewart, Horses, Chunch Chat, Bojack Horseman

4.8 • 1K Ratings


Baby Geniuses is a show for people who know stuff and people who don't know stuff, but would like to. Every week, comedian and super-genius Emily Heller and cartoonist and mastermind Lisa Hanawalt, challenge their guests to share some knowledge on any topic they want.

314 Episodes

List of Potato Museums

Hello babies! On today's very special episode, Emily and Lisa have some important news to share about the fate of Baby Geniuses and share some special memories. On Chunch Chat, the origin of the name "Timothy" is discussed. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "List of potato museums," a list of potato museums around the world.

Transcribed - Published: 22 January 2024

Edward Dando

Hello babies! Do you have Wonka Fever? We no longer do! He's simply not mean enough to children anymore. On Chunch Chat, we come to the conclusion that Martha absolutely manages her own social media accounts. Also, The Rock hasn't been completely honest with us. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Edward Dando," a thief who came to public notice in Britain because of his unusual habit of overeating at food stalls and inns, and then revealing that he had no money to pay. Although the fare he consumed was varied, he was particularly fond of oysters, having once eaten 25 dozen of them with a loaf and a half of bread with butter.

Transcribed - Published: 9 January 2024


Hello babies! A very Merry Christmas to all the Bougie Grinch Girls out there! A not so Merry Christmas to the worms that are trying to enter Emily's house. Related: we dig up dirt on certain Selling Sunset stars. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Humbug," a person or object that behaves in a deceptive or dishonest way, often as a hoax or in jest.

Transcribed - Published: 25 December 2023

Costco Hot Dog

Hello babies! The holiday season is here, and the Baby Geniuses Podcast is your one stop shop for great gift ideas! Is there someone in your life who likes the finer things and whose body is 100% covered in thick green fur? We have the PERFECT PNG for you. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Costco Hot Dog," a 1/4lb hot dog sold at the international warehouse club Costco's food courts. At $1.50, it is the Costco food court's second best deal (onions are free).

Transcribed - Published: 13 December 2023


Hello babies! Thank you for tuning in for our special CYBER MONDAY episode! Listen for great money saving tips that will literally save you THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS. And by that I mean Emily shares how to avoid being phished. She learned the hard way! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Spitting," the act of forcibly ejecting saliva or other substances from the mouth.

Transcribed - Published: 28 November 2023

Bark Mitzvah

Hello babies! Lisa is back from New York with a new obsession and Emily blows off a little steam about a less than sexy period drama. On Chunch Chat, Martha struggles with a mistaken identity and falls for an invasive species. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia article for "Bark Mitzvah," which is either a tongue in cheek celebration for beloved pets or a desecration of a cherished Jewish tradition.

Transcribed - Published: 13 November 2023

Stingy Jack

Hello babies! Boo! Was that spooky enough for ya? If not, Emily and Lisa are sharing some stories that just might chill you down to your core.. That is, if your SKELETON HASN'T ALREADY JUMPED OUT OF YOUR SKIN! I shudder to imagine such a thing. Lisa shares an interaction that she had with possibly an actual GHOUL and Emily serves up a literal jump scare mid segment. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Stingy Jack," a mythical character sometimes associated with All Hallows Eve.

Transcribed - Published: 30 October 2023

Gustave (crocodile)

Transcribed - Published: 16 October 2023

Daughter From California Syndrome

Hello :cough: babies! The strike is over, but we're not celebrating yet - Lisa finally got Covid and feels pretty crappy. Emily still hasn't been infected however! That means Emily and Rob are in the running for the last people on earth who still haven't gotten it. Emily helps Lisa recuperate by suggesting YouTube game show compilations. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Daughter from California syndrome," Something Emily and Lisa definitely both contracted from birth.

Transcribed - Published: 2 October 2023

Ranch Dressing

Hello babies! On today's unintentionally culinarily oriented episode, we're discussing all the things that make food great. Does maple syrup count as a "sauce?" Does a clean refrigerator improve your quality of life? Do cast iron pans increase your iron levels? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia article for "Ranch Dressing," a savory, creamy American salad dressing usually made from buttermilk, salt, garlic, onion, mustard, herbs (commonly chives, parsley and dill), and spices (commonly pepper, paprika and ground mustard seed) mixed into a sauce based on mayonnaise or another oil emulsion.

Transcribed - Published: 18 September 2023


Hello babies! Thank you for listening to Baby Geniuses, the Show for You. On this episode of Your Show, Lisa Went to the Beyoncé concert last night and her favorite moment of the evening surprisingly didn't involve the gigantic silver horse. Emily spied on a potential scabbing situation in her neighborhood and lived to tell about it. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "TV-B-Gone," a universal remote control device for turning off a large majority—about 85%—of the available brands of television sets in 2015. If you're listening to this in 2023, I can't make any promises about it's efficacy.

Transcribed - Published: 4 September 2023

Roy and Silo

Hello babies! this week, we're shining a light on fashion's seedy underbelly - this is a tale of plagiarism and deleted Instagram accounts. Emily takes on a local designer and lives to tell the tale. On Chunch Chat, we touch on the biggest Britney news story this week - she's horse shopping!! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Roy and Silo," a gay millennial Manhattanite couple with the kind of Central Park views money can't buy.

Transcribed - Published: 21 August 2023

Jizz (birding)

Hello babies! Summer is officially here, and we're on the hunt for the perfect place to sit! We don't want to talk about the big movie of the moment, so we're discussing an A24 horror flick and a farce book. On Chunch Chat, Martha shows off her hoses. No, that is not a typo. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Jizz (birding). No, that is not a typo. Emily and Lisa are expected to be world class Jizz Wailers by the time this episode is released.

Transcribed - Published: 7 August 2023

Friendly Floatees Spill

Hello babies! We're still striking - and we just got some very attractive reinforcements! Related: We're celebrating some unexpected allies this week, including Jeopardy! champions. On Chunch Chat, Martha says some characteristically out-of-touch stuff. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Friendly Floatees spill," an event that disturbed environmentalists and delighted oceanographers.

Transcribed - Published: 24 July 2023

Beaver Drop

Hello babies! Hope all you American babies had a lovely July 4th, and your dogs aren't too traumatized. Lisa and Emily both visited family, in the midwest and east coast respectively. It sounded like their trips were not unlike my kitchen cabinets (a bit too muggy). On Chunch Chat, Martha supplies us with a clapback that we hope to be able to use one day. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Beaver Drop," a program that involved moving 76 beavers by airplane and parachuting them to new areas in Central Idaho.

Transcribed - Published: 10 July 2023

Straw Hat Riot

Hello babies! Let's get this out of the way - even a genius can make a mistake. In this episode, Lisa says that the new Mission Impossible movie is coming out this week. She is not a liar and she is NOT a time traveler. It was simply a goof. Please don't pester her by commenting the correct release date of July 12th on her social media posts. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Straw Hat Riot," a riot that occurred in New York City at the end of the summer as a result of unwritten rules in men's fashions at the time.

Transcribed - Published: 26 June 2023

Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe/Garlic Is As Good As Ten Mothers

Hello babies! Or should I say, hola bebés? Lisa shares some stories from her Zoom Spanish class, which is taught by quite the bromista (prankster in Spanish, according to Google). Emily had a little scare with her dog Alan, but he is totally fine. On Chunch Chat, the only segment about Martha Stewart's horse Banchunch in the entire world of podcasting, we try to figure out if Martha soft launched a boyfriend? On Wiki of the Week, we have a rare double feature! We read the Wikipedia pages for "Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe" and "Garlic Is as Good as Ten Mothers," which are both shorts by documentary filmmaker Wes Blank.

Transcribed - Published: 12 June 2023

Avril Lavigne Replacement Conspiracy Theory

Hello babies! We're still on strike, so if you see us picketing please don't honk - it scares the horses. Emily visited her old preschool, and tries to remember anything she learned. On Chunch Chat, Martha is living her best life. If you have a male partner under the age of 60, please keep your eye on him. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Avril Lavigne replacement conspiracy theory," which makes me wonder if I was replaced. as I don't look that much like I did in 2002 either.

Transcribed - Published: 31 May 2023

Mongolian death worm

Transcribed - Published: 15 May 2023

Baby Train

Hello babies! We're using today's episode as a chance to catch up and finally respond to some of your emails, from IUDs to ice cream. On Chunch Chat, we're talking horses and horsepower. On Wiki of the Week, we read the WIkipedia page for Baby Train, a legend about a certain small town that had an unusually high birth rate due to a certain nocturnal situation.

Transcribed - Published: 1 May 2023


Hello babies! Emily just got back from Aspen, where she screened her new short film and rediscovered her appreciation for oxygen. Lisa is also short of breath, mostly because she is working on developing an appreciation for horror movies. On Chunch Chat, we learn about the collectable artisan basket world. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Kuchisake-onna," or "Slit-Mouthed Woman," a malevolent figure in Japanese urban legends and folklore. Don't miss this one - we teach you how to escape her deadly grasp via subtle negging.

Transcribed - Published: 17 April 2023

Hokey Pokey

Hello babies! Thanks for tuning into the show where, despite doing this show for over a decade, we still struggle to remember how we start the darn thing every time. On today's ep, Lisa gets her hands dirty and grows jealous of Emily's pergola. They both share some long awaited Love Island thoughts, and we dive into some relevant Martha-adjacent news on Chunch Chat. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Hokey Pokey," also known as Hokey Cokey in the United Kingdom and the Caribbean, which is a campfire song and participation dance with a distinctive accompanying tune and lyric structure.

Transcribed - Published: 3 April 2023

Candy Desk

Hello babies! It's still MaxFunDrive 2023, so you know what that means! If you're a member, you get access to a VERY special bonus episode. But, but... This episode is special too! (...can I talk to you for a minute over there, where the Candy Desk episode can't hear us? Great - I need you to know something. The Candy Desk episode is swell. It's actually a bonus episode too. It's one more episode than you'd normally get this month, but it's just a run of the mill standard format episode. Don't let Candy Desk know that I said that. What you want to be listening to is the REAL BONUS episode, that only MaxFun members can listen to. It's called Lightning Round of Hot Truth Takes Dome, and it's a laugh riot.) On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Candy Desk, "a tradition of the United States Senate since 1965, whereby a senator who sits at a particular desk near a busy entrance keeps a drawer full of candy for members of the body." ...Candy Desk episode is right behind me, isn't it..?

Transcribed - Published: 27 March 2023

Extremely Online

Hello babies! It's MaxFunDrive 2023, and we're pulling all the stops! Emily shares her experience in the limelight at the WGA Awards, and Lisa struggles to find something to share during Chunch Chat. Also - is Emily's dog named after a Roman demigod? On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Extremely Online," a phrase referring to someone closely engaged with Internet culture.

Transcribed - Published: 20 March 2023

Panty Raid

Hello babies! We are hot off the heels of the WGA Awards, and we have all the red carpet gossip! (Editor's note: This was recorded the day before the awards, so we actually pretty much talk about Love Island and Jeopardy and Horses or whatever) On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Panty Raid, which "was an American college prank of the 1950s and early 1960s in which groups of male students attempted to invade the living quarters of female students and steal their panties (undergarments) as the trophies."

Transcribed - Published: 6 March 2023

The Hum

Hello babies! In case you were wondering, neither of us has seen a whale or a dolphin recently. We have tried but failed. However, we do have some escaped domestic animal stories that we'd love to share! Emily ate a disappointing meal and Lisa shared the joy of horses with her friends. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "The Hum," a name often given to widespread reports of a persistent and invasive low-frequency humming, rumbling, or droning noise audible to many but not all people.

Transcribed - Published: 20 February 2023

Christmas in July

Hello babies! You've all been asking for it (seriously) - we're now officially an anal fissure themed podcast! I went into the podcast hosting settings to change our show's category from "Comedy" to "Anal Fissures (Discussion)" but it was surprisingly not available as a category anymore. On Chunch Chat, we talk about Martha's inability to hashtag correctly. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Christmas in July," an incredibly unseasonable submission.

Transcribed - Published: 6 February 2023

List of Individual Pigs

Transcribed - Published: 23 January 2023


Hello babies! We're stepping into the New Year by trying out some new styles. Who cares if we need to get fully undressed to pee every 45 minutes? In addition to refreshing our wardrobes, we're also giving our timelines a refresh by subscribing to some new Subreddits. On Chunch Chat, we discuss a very pixelated gecko. And on Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Neuticles," prosthetic testicular implants for neutered dogs and other domestic animals. Humans cannot legally get Neuticles, but I'm consulting a lawyer regarding the legality of having authentic dog testicles implanted.

Transcribed - Published: 9 January 2023

Caesar SaladCaesar SaladCeasar Salad

Hello Christmas babies! We have a VERY special holiday episode in store for you. Lisa just got back from a rodeo in Vegas, which was alto attended by some of the worst people in the world. Emily went to a live taping of what I consider a rodeo of the mind. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Caesar salad."

Transcribed - Published: 26 December 2022


Hello babies! Travel Correspondent Emily reports on her recent visit to the Forestiere Underground Gardens in Fresno, CA that were featured on our Hobby Tunneling episode. In other geological explorations, boulder holders are discussed as well. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Anasyrma," which may be a deliberately provocative self-exposing of one's naked genitals or buttocks.

Transcribed - Published: 13 December 2022

Clock of the Long Now

Hello babies! We're engaging in some light celebrity schadenfreude this week! Some of our least favorite personalities showed their true colors recently during our local election cycle, and their billionaire du jour lost. On today's episode, we play some classic TV fuck/marry/kill. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Clock of the Long Now," a mechanical clock under construction that is designed to keep time for 10,000 years.

Transcribed - Published: 28 November 2022

The Bottle Conjuror

Hello babies! If you are Emily's pen pal, we hope you enjoy this episode! On today's edition of Baby Geniuses, Lisa shares some sad news and we make assumptions about Mr. Bean's sex life. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "The Bottle Conjuror," an anonymous theatrical performer who probably never existed.

Transcribed - Published: 14 November 2022

Walburga Oesterreich

Hello babies! Make sure you get out and vote! This, like probably every election for the rest of our dumb little lives, is an important one. Check out Partner of the Pod Adam Conover's voting guide if you're in the LA area! On Chunch Chat, we discuss golden horse feet. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Walburga Oesterreich," aka "Queen of Los Angeles", who gained notoriety for the shooting death of her husband and the subsequent bizarre revelation that she had kept her lover, Otto Sanhuber, hidden in the attic of the home she shared with her husband for ten years.

Transcribed - Published: 31 October 2022

Roy Sullivan

Hello babies! Emily is diving head first into Boston Legal, and we're starting to get concerned. She is exclusively wearing pinstriped power suits and has started saying inappropriate things to our young female paralegals. We're also looking to be connected with someone from an english muffin manufacturer, we have some pressing questions. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Roy Sullivan, a man recognized by Guinness World Records as the person struck by lightning more recorded times than any other human being.

Transcribed - Published: 17 October 2022

Godfrey's Cordial

Hello babies! On today's ep, Emily has an anti Endorse-Horse about a live action remake, and Lisa is riding her horse through your neighborhood and she does not need to explain her actions. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Godfrey's Cordial," a patent medicine, containing laudanum (tincture of opium) in a sweet syrup, which was commonly used as a sedative to quiet infants and children in Victorian England. Editor's note: here's some info about that secret ingredient in Emily's imported toothpaste https://medium.com/@ravenstine/the-curious-history-of-novamin-toothpaste-620c6bef8881

Transcribed - Published: 3 October 2022

Baseball Rubbing Mud

Hello babies! On today's ep, Emily is fresh off the red carpet with another one of her classic looks, and Lisa spent a few nights in an apartment that wasn't recently vacuumed. On Chunch Chat, Martha shares an actual Chunch update for once. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Baseball Rubbing Mud," or mud used to treat balls in the sport of baseball to give pitchers better control and a firmer grip on the balls.

Transcribed - Published: 19 September 2022

Deep Scattering Layer/Benson (Fish)

Hello babies! We recorded this episode before the heatwave caused us to melt into a single puddle of podcast host. On today's ep, Emily has a wardrobe malfunction. On Chunch Chat, Martha wears inappropriate footwear and stands next to a horse that doesn't belong to her. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia pages for "Deep Scattering Layer" and "Benson (Fish)." Please email us your favorite lanternfish recipe!

Transcribed - Published: 5 September 2022

Truck Nuts

Hello babies! Our fantastic podcast just turned ten! Whether you've been with us from the start or are a new listener, we appreciate you for joining us every other week! On today's special decennial episode, you can expect more of the same as ever. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Truck Nuts," also spelled truck nutz, vehicular vanity accessories resembling a dangling scrotum.

Transcribed - Published: 22 August 2022


Hello babies! If it seems like we are slowly transitioning into an animal update podcast, you should know that this has always been an animal update podcast. On today's episode, Emily gives us some caterpillar news, and Lisa shares some post-horsepital Juni info. On Chunch Chat, Martha says goodbye to some very expensive and funky friends. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Polari, "a form of slang or cant used in Britain and Ireland by some actors, circus and fairground showmen, professional wrestlers, merchant navy sailors, criminals, sex workers, and the gay subculture."

Transcribed - Published: 9 August 2022

Cynthia (Gaba girl)

Hello babies! How do you feel about self-checkout at stores? We were shocked by the abundance of positive sentiment online. Please share your feelings with us either way! On today's ep, Lisa tries to convince Emily to adopt her hobbies, and Emily reveals her shoe size. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for Cynthia (Gaba girl), an unusually natural and human looking mannequin.

Transcribed - Published: 25 July 2022

Fool's Errand

Hello babies! Another day, another chance for Joey to show up to the recording session, and another heartbreak. On today's ep, we respond to some listener emails and clear up some confusion about who and what Alan is. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Fools Errand," a or VERY problematic and TOXIC prank.

Transcribed - Published: 11 July 2022

Banana Peel

Hello babies! We're getting ready for summer by fostering butterflies and sending passive aggressive messages to our neighbors. On today's episode, we discuss the magic of FAO Schwarz and a still valid 90's celebrity crush. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Banana peel," that yellowy outer covering of the banana fruit that we all can't get enough of.

Transcribed - Published: 27 June 2022

Blue Whale of Catoosa

Hello babies! Breathing in, I smile. Breathing in, something something. Breathing out, this supreme moment. Yes! Yes! Yes! On today's episode, we plan ways to tank our WikiFeet ranking, and try to remember what we learned about caterpillars in elementary school. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Blue Whale of Catoosa," a waterfront structure that is shaped as you might imagine.

Transcribed - Published: 13 June 2022

Channel Drift

Hello babies! We are breaking rank with fellow A List celebs Kim and Gwyneth and telling you not to vote for Rick Caruso. Emily got sick but it is NOT Covid, so we're chatting about some of our favorite sick day TV habits. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Channel Drift," the gradual shift of a television network away from its original programming, to either target a newer and more profitable audience, or to broaden its viewership by including less niche programming. Basically like how this podcast used to be about something other than Selling Sunset.

Transcribed - Published: 1 June 2022

List of Bad Luck Signs/List of Lucky Symbols

Hello babies! We're getting out a bit more, thankfully. Emily went to a family reunion in West Virginia and stayed at a very strange hotel, and Lisa is playing pool with horses or something. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia pages for "List of Bad Luck Signs" and "List of Lucky Symbols," in celebration of Friday the 13th last weekend. Assuming you're able to listen and didn't die in some ironic manner a few days ago.

Transcribed - Published: 17 May 2022

Diner Lingo

Hello babies! It's MaxFunDrive still, so we're throwing you a bone and giving you an extra episode! NOTE: this is NOT a bonus episode! Become a member at the $5 a month level to hear bonus episodes. An extra episode is much like a regular episode. A bonus episode is much more special. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Diner lingo," a kind of American verbal slang used by cooks and chefs in diners and diner-style restaurants, and by the wait staff to communicate their orders to the cooks. Alienate yourself from your peers by dropping some of these terms casually!

Transcribed - Published: 2 May 2022

Bob Geary (police officer)

Hello babies! It's that time again - MaxFunDrive is upon us! Make sure to sign up and become a member if you aren't already. You'll definitely want the free swag. Members this year will get a Clerkis M'derkis patch! On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Bob Geary (police officer)," a former officer in the San Francisco Police Department who gained notoriety as the subject of a ballot initiative to allow him to take his ventriloquist's dummy, Brendan O'Smarty, on foot patrol.

Transcribed - Published: 25 April 2022

Ann Elizabeth Fowler Hodges

Hello babies! You are cordially invited to join Emily and Lisa for their fanciest episode yet. This is the first "formal attire required" podcast experience ever, so please don't listen unless you're wearing at least one monocle. Lisa just got back from Paris, and Emily is planning a trip to a "fancy old golf hotel with a secret nuclear bunker." And if you think our gastronomy is anything but molecular? Well, we kindly ask you to fuck off. On Wiki of the Week, we read the Wikipedia page for "Ann Elizabeth Fowler Hodges," who was an American woman known for being the first documented individual to not only be struck by a meteorite, but also live through the encounter.

Transcribed - Published: 11 April 2022

Hollywood Freeway Chickens

Transcribed - Published: 28 March 2022

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