TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

A piece of mail on Andrew's desk leads to a story about Luke's relationship with his local Eagles Aerie. A piece of music submitted by a Dazzling Donor leads to a confession about TBTL's ongoing Spotify issues. And a lost cat in Andrew's neighborhood leads to a fascinating tale of pets gone wild in Bellingham. 

Transcribed - Published: 3 June 2026

Luke and Andrew discover that they both share the same irrational fear regarding glassware. They also reconsider Nick Nolte's famous mugshot photo in a new light…and learn that it wasn't actually a mugshot photo at all. And they hear a very tender voicemail from a listener paying tribute to her pooch. 

Transcribed - Published: 2 June 2026

Luke was recognized then un-recognized at the CrimeCon he visited this weekend. Andrew created his own weather system in his car on Saturday night. They also discuss the rich world of hotel ice buckets and mini-fridges. 

Transcribed - Published: 1 June 2026

Andrew unearthed a couple of messages on the TBTL voicemail line that took his breath away. He and Luke also discuss an amazing coincidence that they accidentally stumbled into regarding a popular 90s film. And a Dazzling Donor message takes them on an absolute emotional rollercoaster of tree-related content.  

Transcribed - Published: 29 May 2026

Luke had an incredible time at an incredible Jr. Sluggers game yesterday, as TBTL's little leaguers wrapped up their season. Plus, Andrew helps Luke solve an audio-related mystery, and the Dodgers organization is considering stopping its "bat dog" program after a player got injured stepping over a pooch. 

Transcribed - Published: 28 May 2026

A huge industrial accident in Southern Washington has shaken the community that Luke lives in. He and Andrew also discuss the so-called "Steroid Olympics", which have been described accurately as an "abject failure." And a listener shares a Twisted Tea-inspired memory from the days of the pandemic. 

Transcribed - Published: 27 May 2026

Genevieve joins Luke and Andrew to explain why she's in trouble with the law AGAIN, and how she might get out of it. Plus, Luke's wondering if his neighbor is mowing the lawn too early in the morning. And Erik from Sweden offers a captivating tale of murder, literature, and coincidence. 

Transcribed - Published: 26 May 2026

Luke and Andrew talk about Stephen Colbert's return to television -- this time, cable access television in Monroe, MI. And they get a very inspiring update about the TBTL Junior Sluggers! 

Transcribed - Published: 25 May 2026

Luke and Andrew discuss the final broadcast of the Late Show with Stephen Colbert and the end of an era in culture and broadcasting. They talk about a ruling that bans the ubiquitous "Kars 4 Kids" commercial in California. And a listener writes in with a confession about her Facebook Marketplace behavior. 

Transcribed - Published: 22 May 2026

The TBTL Junior Sluggers have completed their regular season, and we get a recap of their last few games before they head into the playoffs. Plus, Luke had to make a tough decision on his flight out to Chicago.

Transcribed - Published: 21 May 2026

Andrew had a truly disgusting experience while walking his dog yesterday, and it might have changed his entire worldview. But probably not. Meanwhile, Luke got to see the inside workings of a truly successful podcast yesterday, and it's making him question his own life decisions. And they discuss the Nebraska bar that can't call itself "The Barbershop" anymore because of a very annoying (and disingenuous) business association. 

Transcribed - Published: 20 May 2026

Luke had a mustard-related encounter on his flight to LA that is straight out of the Curb Your Enthusiasm playbook. He also accidentally forgot to bring his computer on this work trip, but he found a "Life Hacket Buddy" to keep the show on the air. 

Transcribed - Published: 19 May 2026

Luke learned a new breathing technique over the weekend that sent him down an unexpected shame spiral. Meanwhile, Andrew is realizing one of the most difficult things about having a puppy is learning how to talk to other people. And Luke's unprecedented enthusiasm for a workplace training ends up being unrewarded. 

Transcribed - Published: 18 May 2026

Luke admits to a regrettable phone conversation he had recently regarding air travel. Meanwhile, Andrew gets breaking news on the show about another mysterious moving violation issued against his family. The director behind Wendy's "Where's The Beef" campaign has passed away, reminding Luke of some of his amazing regional work. And finally, a listener offers an ingenious hack to getting your information updated on Wikipedia...

Transcribed - Published: 15 May 2026

A sad story of a lost cat in Andrew's neighborhood has one dazzling detail that offers a sliver of delight.  Plus, Luke and Andrew are very excited to hear that the youth of today are getting into hacky sack again! And Luke thinks today is the day someone named Josh is really going to buy his lawnmower. 

Transcribed - Published: 14 May 2026

Luke and Andrew come into the show feeling a little itchy, but they spin that energy into podcast gold. Luke has an update on his electric lawnmower situation, Andrew explains why he's feeling a little nervous about an event this summer, and listener Tracy shares an inspirational story about facing her own fears bravely. 

Transcribed - Published: 13 May 2026

Luke had a somewhat unfortunate realization about his lawn mower situation this morning. He and Andrew also discuss a class-action lawsuit against the company that is buying up bowling alleys and turning them into overly expensive hipster bars. 

Transcribed - Published: 12 May 2026

Luke had an amazing birthday weekend that he is still recovering from, but Andrew wants to instead talk about his lunch on Saturday. They also get a TBTL Junior Sluggers update from Coach Ben, and a listener tries to tell the difference between modern art and a sleeping man. 

Transcribed - Published: 11 May 2026

Something happened to Luke during his 5K fun run yesterday that forced him to make a very important split-second decision. He and Andrew also discuss the "Blue Dot Fever" that is causing huge pop stars to cancel their summer tours. And Andrew's attempts to make elevator small talk crash and burn. 

Transcribed - Published: 8 May 2026

An update from Coach Ben about the TBTL Junior Sluggers leads to a conversation about stirrup socks and laundry etiquette. Luke offers an impromptu review of the Sam Rockwell time travel movie Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die. And a TBTL Ten gets a new job that is very relevant to Andrew's interests.  

Transcribed - Published: 7 May 2026

Luke just landed in Boston after a long flight, and he's already getting ready to turn around and fly back home. Plus, Andrew explains a huge revelation he recently learned about "Honk If…" bumper stickers. And they pick up some interesting Roblox facts via a Tiktok video about infidelity. 

Transcribed - Published: 6 May 2026

Luke and Andrew reminisce about being young and broke. They also discuss Luke's chastity watch (and what happened when he lost it), and why Red Lobster is playing a dangerous game by bringing back its Endless Shrimp promotion. 

Transcribed - Published: 5 May 2026

Luke undertook a mechanical project yesterday and is still unsure if it was a good idea. Andrew had the perfect Saturday, until he didn't. And Andrew explains how the imaginary voices of listeners helped him solve a long-standing problem in his bathroom. 

Transcribed - Published: 4 May 2026

Andrew went to his first Puppy Kindergarten class with Lucy and got a very big surprise! Plus, Genevieve got Lucy's DNA results back, so now we know what kind of dog(s) she is. And Luke is obsessed with a new short form show that has an ingeniously simple premise. 

Transcribed - Published: 1 May 2026

Luke unlocked a new fear on his flight down to L.A. It involved someone else's bladder. He and Andrew also discuss the state of Washington's lawsuit over "Buy One, Get One Free" pricing schemes. And a listener from Queens tells an amazing tale of a neighborhood spat with "an O. Henry ending." 

Transcribed - Published: 30 April 2026

Luke and Andrew receive a curious piece of mail that ends up sending them down a salty, slippery memory lane. They also check the voicemail line to find stories of lost phones, perfect days, and -- of course -- filets of fish. 

Transcribed - Published: 29 April 2026

Luke found himself in his car, in the middle of the woods, without cell service, when he went out for a simple errand this morning. It took him four hours to get home. He and Andrew also dissect the playlist that a sports reporter allegedly made for her illicit paramour. And they discuss -- without spoilers -- the brilliance of DTF: St. Louis.

Transcribed - Published: 28 April 2026

Luke helped Becca prep for her marathon this weekend by sharing his own expertise -- not running expertise so much as carb-loading know-how. Plus, the TBTL Junior Sluggers had a great weekend, as did TBTL's other rooting sports interests. And listener Ethan comes through with some important night court information as Andrew still awaits his jury duty fate.

Transcribed - Published: 27 April 2026

Luke and Andrew mourn the abrupt closure of SBK, a Seattle karaoke joint that played a huge part in their late night marauding back in the day. Plus, Lucy the Puppy has completely changed Andrew's sleep schedule as well as his attitude about certain things -- but not Twisted Tea. 

Transcribed - Published: 24 April 2026

Andrew stumbles upon a truly, truly disturbing photo while looking for something during today's podcast. He tries to edit it for Luke, but he only makes things worse. Meanwhile, Luke is amazed by the cost cutting measures of a new NBA owner known as "El Cheapo" -- and the fact that the league commissioner is defending the bozo. And Lucy The Puppy had a big day at Lowe's yesterday. 

Transcribed - Published: 23 April 2026

Luke and Andrew examine the case of three men who tried to pull insurance fraud by dressing up like a bear and destroying a car. They also discuss Luke's personal relationship with Jiminy Glick and some big news regarding his status as an Albanian-American. 

Transcribed - Published: 22 April 2026

Andrew goes too far in trying to help Luke with his Roku settings. Plus, Luke finds himself down a rabbit hole of music and artificial intelligence after a parachute stunt goes awry at a Virginia Tech football game. 

Transcribed - Published: 21 April 2026

Andrew got into a big fight this weekend…with his car. Meanwhile, Luke's attempts to meet his new neighbors are thwarted by impatient Jeep drivers. The Seattle Times FINALLY investigates the curbside garbage scam that Andrew has been telling everyone about for years. And the TBTL Merch Store has a new offering!  

Transcribed - Published: 20 April 2026

Andrew gives Luke an audio-based quiz that is both perfect and completely imperfect for TBTL. It involves train sounds. They also discuss the story of the musician whose event was cancelled because he used A.I. to make his latest album. 

Transcribed - Published: 17 April 2026

Luke and Andrew are in bad shape after a terrible night of Mariners baseball -- and that's just referring to their branding gimmicks. Luke has several mug-related emergencies during the show, while Andrew does everything in his power to tank the podcast with audio misfires. Meanwhile, the tennis shoe company AllBirds is transitioning into a…whatnow? 

Transcribed - Published: 16 April 2026

We have now heard from almost everyone involved in the Chappel Roan security guard controversy, and everyone seems surprisingly reasonable. Plus, Luke is digging the Justin Bieber's music at recent performance at Coachella, and Andrew makes a fool of himself with a local reporter. And a listener brings some FACTS when it comes to "the sound of lightning." 

Transcribed - Published: 15 April 2026

Luke's frustrating saga trying to return a set of dishes has him reconsidering his shopping style. Andrew is excited to bring some "Celebrity Birthday Segment" energy to TBTL. And former NYC Mayor / fraudster Eric Adams is trying to bump Luke lower down the list of famous Albanian-Americans. 

Transcribed - Published: 14 April 2026

The Mariners finally unveiled a statue honoring Ichiro Suzuki on Friday, but the big reveal didn't go exactly as planned… We also get updates on the TBTL Junior Jalapenos and puppy/kitty relations in Andrew's house. 

Transcribed - Published: 13 April 2026

A Seattle judge has lost his judging privileges after forging a fake document to  get a parking discount, and Luke and Andrew have a Freaky Friday-esque reaction to it. Plus, Andrew has an update on day two of puppy training. 

Transcribed - Published: 10 April 2026

Andrew brought home a puppy yesterday and has all the details about her first night with him and Genevieve.  Plus, CBS has announced its programming lineup that will replace Stephen Colbert, and Luke is not impressed, to say the least. 

Transcribed - Published: 9 April 2026

Luke got to experience one of his favorite Tiktok videos in real life last night after attending a jazz show. Andrew is excited to pick up his new puppy this afternoon! And a listener has questions after observing a jogger's odd behavior. 

Transcribed - Published: 8 April 2026

Andrew got a postcard in the mail yesterday that he was not happy to receive. Luke is in Los Angeles, where he's worried about the billboard economy. And they discuss a fascinating Seattle Times article profiling a long-standing business that has always piqued their interest. (And, it turns out, Luke's dad is a customer!) 

Transcribed - Published: 7 April 2026

Australia officially has officially enshrined the famous "succulent Chinese meal" audio that went viral after decades of being lost. Luke and Andrew also receive a poetic update on the TBTL Junior Slugger's first little league game of the season! 

Transcribed - Published: 6 April 2026

Andrew visited a house full of foster puppies yesterday and has a full report. Plus, Genevieve had her court hearing today regarding a ticket she received while chasing down her lost phone. She joins the show to let us know how it turned out. And the TBTL Junior Sluggers have a new name, a new logo, and a lot of pizazz! We get the latest as they gear up for their first game this weekend. 

Transcribed - Published: 3 April 2026

Luke and Andrew discuss the Seattle airport's misguided and expensive efforts to rebrand. They also watch the video of a Texas judge bullying an IT worker who's just trying to help him out. 

Transcribed - Published: 2 April 2026

Luke finally heard from the court about the erroneous parking ticket he received. He's somewhat satisfied with the results. He and Andrew also discuss the end of the A.I. app called Sora, which could let anyone make convincing deep fakes depicting real people. And, speaking of robots, Luke is ready for them to fully take over at least one aspect of Major League Baseball.

Transcribed - Published: 1 April 2026

Luke pays homage to John Hinterberger, a Seattle writer he grew up reading and who represents a more adventurous era of newspaper publishing. Meanwhile, Andrew and Genevieve had their first appointment with a dog rescue organization yesterday. While Andrew is ready to take the process slowly, Luke has other ideas for him. 

Transcribed - Published: 31 March 2026

Andrew is back from Hawaii, where he had a wonderful time but a wistful goodbye. Luke gets him up to speed on the latest Chappell Roan controversy. Luke also discusses his experience at the "No Kings" rally this weekend in Portland. And they look back on their epic TBTL boat trip from 11 years ago.  

Transcribed - Published: 30 March 2026

Luke gets into it with the people sitting next to him at Opening Night, but Becca has his back, plus David From the Basement stops by to explain why Stephen Colbert is writing the next Lord of the Rings film.

Transcribed - Published: 27 March 2026

Luke and Andrew dive into some listener voicemails, including one involving an angry Russian widow and another that leaves Andrew bumfuzzled. 

Transcribed - Published: 26 March 2026