Berner Phone

We're back with another unprofessional advice epsiode. Becasue it's so much more fun to help other people with their problems than trying to solve your own. The dialers are navigating wedding stress, awkward family situations, and dating dilemmas. Get the best chips for 20% off at masa.com with code BERN 20% off shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN nurx.com/BERN for expert mental health help Get 25% off Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN $5 off your skincare consultation at apostrophe.com/phone 15% off with code BERN at lumedoerant.com Upgrade your athletic wear at greatnesswins.com with code bern for 25% off

Transcribed - Published: 23 July 2024

Nothing ruins your peaceful drive like a bad driver. Hannah doesn't have a driver's license but don't worry she still has plenty of opinons. This was a cathartic episode for Des who claims he doesn't have road rage. Get 20% off better hydration at liquidiv.com w/ code BERN 50% off custom haircare at prose.com/BERNER 15% off luggage at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN Make going to the doctor easy at zocdoc.com/BERNER Get 10% off skin and body care at oseamalibu.com w/ code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 14 July 2024

Things don't always work out the way we planned but often it turns out for the best. Whether it's crazy ex boyfriends or crushed dreams of winning Wimbledon, life has a way of working out. Give your gut some support with 25% off at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN Upgrade your athletic wear at GreatnessWins.com and use code BERN for 25% off Sleep better with 15% off and free shipping at bollandbranch.com/bern Get cash back on every purchase and $5 just for trying Ibotta. Download the app and use code BERN when you register.

Transcribed - Published: 8 July 2024

We're going through the dialer's favorite song lyrics and there are even some impromptu performances. We learned Hannnah likes music that makes her want to punch a wall and Des likes music that makes him tear up. For 15% off deodorant - use code BERN at lumedeodorant.com Get high quality essentials at quince.com/BERN for free shipping and returns Get the best drinks with free shipping at liquiddeath.com/BERN High quality athletic wear at greatnesswins.com code BERN for 25% offf nurx.com/BERN

Transcribed - Published: 30 June 2024

Hannah and Des are both in the process of writing a new hour of stand up. The dialers are helping to spark some creativity and inspiration. Are Irish men sexy and what do we think of therapy? And for the first time ever, someone wants Hannah to talk more about tennis. Cut your wireless bill to $15 at mintmobile.com/BERNER FACTORMEALS.com/bern50 for 50% off your first month of meals Murder your thirst at liquiddeath.com/BERN 25% off your first month of Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN

Transcribed - Published: 23 June 2024

Hannah, Des, and the dialers are recalling their best and worst attempts at flirting. We discuss whether guys actually enjoy negging and drop one of the most unique DM slides we’ve ever heard. 20% off bras and shapewear at honeylove.com/BERN For skin and body care, get 10% off with code BERN at OSEAMalibu.com If you want fuller and plumper lips, get 15% off sitewide with code BERNER at citybeauty.com For refreshing drinks, go to liquiddeath.com/BERN 25% off your first month of Seed’s DS-01® Daily Synbiotic at Seed.com/bern code 25BERN Upgrade your atheltic wear at GreatnessWins.com with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 15 June 2024

Grab your popcorn. The dialers called in with their favorite old movies and Hannah tried to explain the cultural impact of Mean Girls. Go to Hungryroot.com/BERNER, to get 40% off your first delivery and free veggies! For sunglasses, go to goodr.com/BERNER and use code BERNER for free shipping. Upgrade your athletic wear at GreatnessWins.com NOW. Use code BERN and you’ll receive 25% off on your first purchase!

Transcribed - Published: 8 June 2024

The dialers tell us their best invention ideas and we ranted about bad therapists, new dating app ideas, the science of sunscreen, and Hannah's favorite condiment. Get free shipping for clothing at Quince.com/bern 15% off at citybeauty.com with code BERNER 15% off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 2 June 2024

The dialers tell us their best invention ideas and we ranted about bad therapists, new dating app ideas, the science of sunscreen, and Hannah's favorite condiment. Get free shipping for clothing at Quince.com/bern 15% off at citybeauty.com with code BERNER 15% off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 2 June 2024

This episode raised our blood pressure. Traveling is stressful and fellow travelers often make it even worse. Perhaps a travelers license should be a new requirement at airports. 50% off meals at factormeals.com/bern50 with code BERN50 $15 a month wireless plans at mintmobile.com/berner 20% off shapewear and bras at honeylove.com/BERN

Transcribed - Published: 26 May 2024

Hangxiety is the worst feeling to wake up to. But this week the dialers put their embarrassing stories to good use. Hannah and Des also have wildly different stories to share this week. 10% off hero bread at hero.co with code BERNER 15% off luggage at beistravel.com/BERN 40% off at hungryroot.com/BERNER 25% off daily synbiotic at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN

Transcribed - Published: 17 May 2024

This episode might "go down" as one of our all-time favorites. The dialers brought it this week with brutally honest and funny stories about their latest adventures and mishaps in the bedroom. Plus, we discuss how Nikki Glaser is the reason we got married. 25% off at seed.com/berner with code 25BERN 15% off at citybeauty.com with code BERNER zocdoc.com/berner nurx.com/bern

Transcribed - Published: 11 May 2024

We were all told as kids that we wouldn't survive if we went outside with wet hair. This week, we are debunking old wives' tales to find out if everything we've been told by our parents was a lie. zocdoc.com/berner asteproallergy.com goodr.com/BERNER for free shipping

Transcribed - Published: 3 May 2024

This week useless talents are becoming useful. We cover everything from heckling babies to weird toe talents. 25% off at Seed.com/BERN with code 25BERN 15% off at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN 40% off at Hungryroot.com/BERNER 15% off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 26 April 2024

This week we're throwing it back to a simpler time - when your ex of 20 years couldn't add you on Facebook, your boss couldn't contact you after 5pm, and your favorite show couldn't be spoiled. Free shipping at Quince.com/bern 20% off razors at AthenaClub.com with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 18 April 2024

Technology might be the great equalizer, but karma is not. The dialer's techonology mishaps involve OnlyFans, nudes, and awkward interactions. On the bright side, there are some great hacks for avoiding these mistakes in the future. Moral of this story: delete snapchat. 25% off at Seed.com/bern with code 25BERN MintMobile.com/BERNER

Transcribed - Published: 11 April 2024

The dialers called in about their biggest icks this week. Hannah and Des also share their icks while debating middle schoolers in Sephora and pickleball. 20% off at HoneyLove.com/BERN 15% off at BEISTRAVEL.com/BERN 40% off at Hungryroot.com/BERNER

Transcribed - Published: 5 April 2024

This week we let the little dialers go rogue and tell or ask us anything. We investigate conspiracy theories, get asked some morbid questions, and get called out by a giggler. $5 off at LumeDeodorant.com with code BERN Get 15% off haircare at lolavie.com/BERN

Transcribed - Published: 27 March 2024

We asked the dialers to share the most toxic thing they've ever done and they definitely delivered. Some were genius, some were petty, and some were borderline illegal but we enjoyed nonetheless! 50% off at factormeals.com/bern50 20% off at AthenaClub.com with code BERN 40% off and free towels at TryMiracle.com/BERN

Transcribed - Published: 22 March 2024

This week the dialers are sharing their secrets to beating anxiety. As always they are hilarious, relatable, and wise. rocketmoney.com/BERNERPHONE mintmobile.com/berner 20% off at honeylove.com/BERN 25% off at seed.com/bern with code 25BERN

Transcribed - Published: 13 March 2024

This episode confirms that pretty much everything in life is a scam. The consensus is admin is taking over our lives, we are all spending more money than we think, and capitalism is always winning. Zocdoc.com/BERNER Quince.com/BERN for free shipping

Transcribed - Published: 7 March 2024

The dialers are getting some major "dial"emmas off their chest this week. We cover everything from awkward family situations to open relationships and debating if you should having kids. 10% off cookware at hexclad.com/BERN $5 off at lumedeodorant.com with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 29 February 2024

We don't cook and we don't clean, but we finally feel seen by the little dialers. From taxes to no more summer vacation, being an adult is hard and we haven't quite figured it out. At least we're in this together. Rocketmoney.com/BERNERPHONE 15% off at vessi.com/BERN 50% off at factormeals.com/bern50

Transcribed - Published: 22 February 2024

If you've been stressed out lately, this is the episode for you. The dialers are spilling the most unique and creative ways they destress. We already feel more relaxed after listening to them! ZocDoc.com/BERNER Free delivery at Squeezed.com with code BERN 20% off at HoneyLove.com/BERN 40% off at HungryRoot.com/berner mintmobile.com/berner

Transcribed - Published: 17 February 2024

We asked the little dialers the craziest ways they have met a romantic partner and they did not disappoint. Apparently love is real and can happen when you least expect it. Free juice cleanse delivery at Squeezed.com with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 9 February 2024

The little dialers have some hot takes this week. They're coming for dogs, Hannah's love for Italian food, and Taylor Swift. Free delivery with code BERN at Squeezed.com RocketMoney.com/BERNERPHONE

Transcribed - Published: 2 February 2024

The little dialers have had so many first date and hookup mishaps that we had to make another episode! From awkward sutations to mildly gross confessions, the dialers have done it all. Free delovery at Squeezed.com with code BERN $15 off skincare at apostrophe.com/BERN 50% off at factormeals.com/bern50

Transcribed - Published: 25 January 2024

This week's prompt was a hit and the dialers have had some wild mishaps in the bedroom. $15 off skincare at apostrophe.com/PHONE Free delivery at Squeezed.com with code BERN 20% off and free shipping with code BERNER at Manscaped.com 40% off first delivery at Hungryroot.com/berner

Transcribed - Published: 18 January 2024

This week we are getting updates from some of our favorite dialers. Hannah and Des share some personal updates, we get the full happy ending story, and so much more. Des has a YouTube special coming January 16th! Subscribe HERE! Squeezed.com free delivery with code BERN 20% off at honeylove.com/BERN

Transcribed - Published: 11 January 2024

This week the dialers are all about sex, money, and power. Same day local delivery or Free Fast delivery nationwide at Squeezed.com with code BERN. Hungryroot.com/berner to get 40% off your first delivery.

Transcribed - Published: 4 January 2024

The dialers are hoping for some big changes in 2024 - new personalities, breaking bad habits, and changing the way they date. HelloFresh.com/bernfree for free breakfast! Squeezed.com free shipping with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 29 December 2023

The little dialers have some wild bucket list items that involve sex, fights, and therapy.

Transcribed - Published: 21 December 2023

This week we are discovering new life hacks. They range from masturbating, public bathrooms, matching your socks, to being cringe and feeling free. Berner Phone under Podcast when you sign up for Earnin on Google Play or App Store.

Transcribed - Published: 14 December 2023

Secrets are being revealed…there are age gap relationships, people cheating, and happy endings being given. Plus, Hannah made a mistake on Cameo. honeylove.com/BERN EmbracePetInsurance.com/BERN marinelayer.com/BERN15

Transcribed - Published: 7 December 2023

The dialers are getting things off their chest this week. They have some serious grievances about airports, pestering shy people, and getting sober. 20% off w/ code BERNER at manscaped.com 10% off w/ code BERN at oseamalibu.com 15% off at uncommongoods.com/bern Code BERN at lume.com

Transcribed - Published: 30 November 2023

The little dialers are scared of everything from mayo to The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air to the DMV. You’ll have to find out if we validate your fears or laugh at them.

Transcribed - Published: 24 November 2023

This week men are revealing the things they want women to know. They aren’t always thinking about sex and don’t want to hear about your exes, but at the same time they are self proclaimed “horny garbage”.

Transcribed - Published: 15 November 2023

This week we’re working through some intergenerational conflict. Gen Z can’t stand how older people text, rake leaves, and use social media. Millennials and Gen X are bothered by ever-changing lingo and TikTok. And everyone is mad that people yell on the phone in public places.

Transcribed - Published: 9 November 2023

For the first time, we are taking life advice questions from the little dialers and we'll see where it takes us. This week we’re discussing how we can learn to say no, long distance relationships, and confusing situationships.

Transcribed - Published: 2 November 2023

The phonies are fed up with office small talk, mommy influencers, and wedding traditions. Plus, Hannah's mom makes an appearance on the pod. embracepetinsurance.com/bern

Transcribed - Published: 26 October 2023

We are all eating cold food, holding doors, and asking permission to get married in the name of etiquette and tradition. The little dialers have had enough and so have we. hellofresh.com/50bern Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code BERN at lumepodcast.com! #lumepod

Transcribed - Published: 19 October 2023

From armpits to toilets to breeding, no kink is left unturned in this new episode of Berner Phone!

Transcribed - Published: 12 October 2023

The little dialers have committed some petty acts against exes, coworkers, neighbors, siblings, and spouses. Hannah and Des are here to justify your most petty moments.

Transcribed - Published: 4 October 2023

Hannah and Des finally discuss love. They asked the little dialers about the best advice they ever received when it comes to having a successful relationship. Download the dating app for ambitious GoalDiggers, The League at https://click.theleague.com/qmhm/bernerphone. To skip the waitlist, text the code #Hannah to your concierge in the app to find your potential soulmate.

Transcribed - Published: 27 September 2023

This week we’re listening to your biggest dilemmas. Someone’s boyfriend is a secret submissive, we share our opinions on losing weight for a wedding, and contemplate dating as a stripper. Hannah has standup shows coming up in Tempe, Bensalem, Sacramento, San Francisco, Seattle, Portland, Baltimore, and more! Tickets here! dave.com/berninginhell Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get $5 off off your Starter Pack (that’s over 40% off) with promo code BERN at lumepodcast.com! #lumepod

Transcribed - Published: 20 September 2023

This week the little dialers get some of the guiltiest pleasures off their chest. From chef boyardee to situationships and anal itching, we’re here to make you feel a little less guilty. honeylove.com/BERN Recover properly with @waterboy and get 15% off with promo code BERN at waterboy.com/BERN! #waterboypartner

Transcribed - Published: 13 September 2023

This week the little dialers get some of the guiltiest pleasures off their chest. From chef boyardee to situationships and anal itching, we’re here to make you feel a little less guilty. honeylove.com/BERN Recover properly with @waterboy and get 15% off with promo code BERN at waterboy.com/BERN! #waterboypartner

Transcribed - Published: 13 September 2023

This week we asked our little dialers to give us the best life advice they've ever gotten! Some knowledge dropped about jealousy, performance pressure, caring too much about what people think, and marriage advice about ball sucking! Live stand up shows coming up in Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Tucson, Tempe, Buffalo, and Bensalem! Tickets here caraway.health/bern Sign up for the Dashpass student plan with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 6 September 2023

This week we asked our little dialers to give us the best life advice they've ever gotten! Some knowledge dropped about jealousy, performance pressure, caring too much about what people think, and marriage advice about ball sucking! Live stand up shows coming up in Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Tucson, Tempe, Buffalo, and Bensalem! Tickets here caraway.health/bern Sign up for the Dashpass student plan with code BERN

Transcribed - Published: 6 September 2023

We're back this week with more pet peeves to work through your issues with road rage, self checkout ettiquette, and yawning. Stand up shows coming up in Mashantucket, Westhampton, Austin, San Antonio, Dallas, Houston, Tucson, Tempe, Buffalo, and more! Tickets here

Transcribed - Published: 30 August 2023