Berner Phone #105: Advice to Your Younger Self

Berner Phone

Hannah Berner and Des Bishop

Stand-up, Comedy

4.4 • 5.6K Ratings

🗓️ 25 August 2025

⏱️ 81 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

The dialers are sharing the advice they wish someone had given them 10 years ago.

get tix to Hannah's tour

get tix to Des' shows

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, it's Hannah Burner.
0:03.5	And Des Bishop.
0:04.5	Thanks for calling the burner phone.
0:06.4	If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast.
0:15.0	I'm a little dial-less.
0:17.3	Um, I'm back.
0:19.8	Hannah's back.
0:20.3	Did you miss me? Um, look, we've been in deep. Mommy's home. Mommy, mommy's home, home for me. Look. Is that a song? Yeah, it was a rendition of Usher. It was a deep cut. Don't worry about it. Okay. And we have Dezzy, DJ Dez here. That's right.
0:39.1	Producer Dez. Daddy, DJs, Desi. Producer Dez. How was it without me? Did you listen? No.
0:47.1	My parents listened for me and told me if I need to hear anything important. Oh, really?
0:51.6	My mom gives me Spark notes. She gave you the notes. I mean, we missed you.
0:55.9	We all missed you. I speak for the dialers. Did the Spotify comments miss me?
1:00.3	Well, here's a weird thing. The Spotify comments were lit, but I think that's because they were
1:06.9	supporting me. So there was more Spotify comments than normal.
1:11.0	Oh, wow.
1:11.4	Actually.
1:12.1	Well, the Spotify comments know that you're reading them.
1:16.5	So the Spotify comments were very supportive.
1:20.5	And it was good fun.
1:23.0	And if you listen on Apple, you're good too.
1:25.7	They said the Spotify comments were like,
1:28.1	Des seemed lonely. So let's, let's keep him company. No, we were joking because I was aware that I had
	...

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