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Berner Phone

Berner Phone #106: Dialer's Choice

Berner Phone

Hannah Berner and Des Bishop

Stand-up, Comedy

4.45.6K Ratings

🗓️ 2 September 2025

⏱️ 54 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We're letting the dialer's choose their own adventure this week.

get tickets to Hannah's tour

get tickets to Des' shows

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, it's Hannah Burner and Des Bishop.

0:04.7

Thanks for calling the burner phone.

0:06.6

If you leave a message after the tone, we may have to make it into a podcast.

0:14.6

I'm back, baby.

0:17.1

I know you guys missed me.

0:19.4

You know what the bad news is, Hannah?

0:20.6

What? This is the second week in a what the bad news is Hannah What?

0:21.4

This is the second week in a row you're back

0:23.1

You've completely forgotten

0:29.0

About last week's episode

0:30.9

What would you tell your 10 year old

0:33.2

10 years ago self

0:34.5

Do you remember that?

0:35.9

Yeah

0:36.2

That was last week

0:37.0

Sorry honestly the summer is What, what planet are we on? Let's begin with that. Welcome to Earth. Today we're on Earth. Today we're driving. We're driving. I'm driving, though. Hannah's DJing today. Well, it does. Even though he wanted me to get my license, does not want me to drive. Excuse, Hannah. Like, it's like a woman in the 1920s. Is it me not wanting you to drive or is it you not wanting to drive? Well, when you say, I don't feel comfortable with you driving, I go, okay. When do I say that? You said you don't want... No, I said I didn't feel...

1:11.3

You can't handle it emotionally.

1:15.6

And look, I agree.

1:19.5

I'd rather sit in the car with you.

1:22.4

It's funny, because we're driving to play paddle.

1:25.3

Oh, yeah, so guys, God forbid, I just play one racquet sport.

1:30.6

We need to play all the racquet sports without playing pickleball.

...

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