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Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

Comedy, World, More, Daily, Hodgman, Knowledge, Expertise, Hodgeman, Pc, Complete, Information, Show, Mac

4.87.5K Ratings

Overview

John Hodgman's Today in the Past podcast is now The Judge John Hodgman Podcast. Have your pressing issues decided by Famous Minor Television Personality John Hodgman, Certified Judge. If you'd like John Hodgman to solve your pressing issue, simply email it, along with your phone number, to [email protected]. THAT IS ALL.

680 Episodes

Krispy Kreme and Punishment

Cutting donuts in half: Yes or no? The answer is tearing a family apart! Who's right? Who's wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 15 May 2024

Van Freaks Roadshow in Madison

Is a square-shaped pizza considered pizza? Which part of Madison is the “east side” and which is “north?” Answers to these questions and more!

Transcribed - Published: 8 May 2024

Star Witnesser

Should Dorin have to join her pianist husband at his post-concert meet and greets? He says yes! She says she feels awkward! Who's right? Who's wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 1 May 2024

Submerger and Acquisitions

Expert Witness Paul Scheer weighs in: Should Thaddeus invest in new equipment to keep his cold plunge icy?

Transcribed - Published: 24 April 2024

TEASER: Members Only Mailbag April 2024

The Rollicking J Squad is back with monthly bonus episodes! Here's a teaser for our first ever Members Only Mailbag Episode!

Transcribed - Published: 23 April 2024

Property Cousins

Kasey says that he needs to buy a church and a bank. His cousin, Matthew, says that he needs to slow down and make a plan! Who's right? Who's wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 17 April 2024

Court Martial, Martial, Martial!

Is THE BRADY BUNCH a classic sitcom? Robert says, yes of course it is! His friend, Karl says it's just not good enough to be considered classic! Neither of them will admit defeat. UNTIL TODAY. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? Who will have a sunshine day?

Transcribed - Published: 10 April 2024

Juvenile Court With Kurt Braunohler

Kurt Braunohler returns as we re-open Juvenile Court! Dads who gotta dance, siblings, and age minimums for William Friedkin's THE FRENCH CONNECTION!

Transcribed - Published: 3 April 2024

Paul F. Topics

This week, it's all PAUL F. TOPICS with Paul F. Tompkins! We are so excited to celebrate the second week of MaxFunDrive with him, and clear the docket. Cases about missed live shows, dog friends, hats and style, and Philadelphia.

Transcribed - Published: 27 March 2024

Flush to Judgment

Trish flushes soup down the toilet! But her friend, Marlow, wants to stop Trish from ever flushing food ever again. Trish says this is a perfectly reasonable way to dispose of soup! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 20 March 2024

TEASER: Kinding Them With Kindness Part 2

Want to hear some of our new, members-only bonus episode, KINDING THEM WITH KINDNESS PART 2? Good news! Here's a clip.

Transcribed - Published: 18 March 2024

It's Justice Not Cricket

What is the spirit of cricket? What IS cricket? Nate and Aatif disagree about a controversial move in the game. Who's right? Who's wrong? And who can explain how cricket works to this court? With Expert Witness Andy Zaltzman!

Transcribed - Published: 13 March 2024

Van Freaks Roadshow Live in Chicago

A finger-licking case about licking fingers! Swift Justice disputes about driving, soda on the bedside table, and half-eaten olives! AND Deborah Miller from GBH's ANTIQUES ROADSHOW!

Transcribed - Published: 6 March 2024

Cease and De-List

Tyler likes to make Top 5 lists about anything and everything. But Abby says his list-making is number one annoying, with a bullet. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 28 February 2024

Motion to Diss-sis

Laura says that her older sister, Liz, is a NERD! Liz says that she simply doesn't fit the criteria! Who's right? who's wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 21 February 2024

Live From Lexington

An unopened Christmas present from 1999 and a case about haunted houses with Expert Witness Travis McElroy! LIVE at the Lexington Opera House!

Transcribed - Published: 14 February 2024

Reading is Fun-Defendant

How many book clubs are too many book clubs? Emily says she's just trying to keep busy. But her daughter, Hannah, wants her hard-working mom to enjoy her retirement rather than filling it with obligations. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 7 February 2024

Chew Process

Rae brings the case against their mom, Judy. Judy is adamant that you have to eat certain foods in certain orders. But Rae says her mom’s gut instinct is nothing but a bunch of *fart noises*. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 31 January 2024

Power Off Attorney

Marti brings the case against her husband, Andrew. Andrew has created automated systems in their home, controlled by voice commands. Marti HATES IT. Andrew says that she just needs time to get used to the system. But, Marti just wants to live an analog lifestyle! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 24 January 2024

Obstruction of Just Ice

Curtis brings the case against his friend, Andy. Curtis and Andy are both passionate about the ice sport called curling. Andy quit their team last year. But he still watches Curtis play. And he offers his friend a lot of unsolicited advice. Curtis is annoyed. He asks the court to issue a gag order on backseat curling. Who’s right, who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 17 January 2024

Live From Dublin, Ireland

This episode was recorded LIVE at Liberty Hall in Dublin, Ireland! With two cases this week! Up first is GERMANSPRUDENCE. Andrea likes to listen to Deutschlandfunk public radio in the house. But her husband, Paul, likes to listen to comedy podcasts! Then, James brings his fiance, Paddy, before the Judge in OBJECTIONS IN THE MIRROR ARE CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR. When the two of them are driving somewhere they play a common car game in Ireland. But, James says that when Paddy is driving he has an unfair advantage when using his mirrors. Paddy says he has to look in his mirrors to drive safely! Who's right? Who's wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 10 January 2024

Spellcast! The Get Along

It's a new year and it's time to clear the docket! This week, it's all about Magic: The Gathering. MTG enthusiast and Friend of the Court John Darnielle of the Mountain Goats joins us to adjudicate these cases!

Transcribed - Published: 3 January 2024

JJHO Office Holiday Party 2023

It's the end of 2023 and the Judge John Hodgman team is having a little holiday party! Bailiff Jesse Thorn finally gets to try Pam from Seattle's famous Eggnog and Orange Soda. Pam gives us a new festive concoction to try. But not before trying some new to us recipes sent in by listeners!

Transcribed - Published: 27 December 2023

Clapital Offense

Michele brings the case against her sister, Kristyn. Michele’s husband introduced a new tradition to their family’s Christmas morning. Michelle loves it. Kristyn thinks it’s silly. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 20 December 2023

Car-edible Witness

Nicole brings the case against her partner, Scott. Nicole says that Scott razzes her too much because of her road trip snacking system. Scott says her messy snacks deserve to be razzed! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 13 December 2023

Convection Overturned

Jeff brings the case against his wife, Jen. Their home came with a very unusual appliance. When they moved in, Jen gave Jeff one year to enjoy this device before removing it from the house. The year is now up, and Jeff wants to keep it. He says that this contraption is CENTERPIECE to the living room! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 6 December 2023

Personal Gingery Lawyer

Andrea brings the case against her lifelong friend Jennifer. For years they’ve had a holiday tradition of getting together to bake a gingerbread house. And for years, Andrea says that Jennifer messes it all up--WITH GINGERBREAD MISCHIEF!

Transcribed - Published: 29 November 2023

No Pun and Shut Case

Mary brings the case against her roommate Salma. They’re both fans of the card game called PUNDERDOME. But Mary says Salma is a cheater. When they play, Salma doesn’t make puns: just jokes. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 22 November 2023

Live From Boston 2023

This episode was recorded in front of a LIVE audience on the Van Freaks Roadshow! All the way from The Wilbur in Boston, we have "Order in Decor!" and Swift Justice! Plus GBH'S ANTIQUES ROADSHOW Executive Producer Marsha Bemko. And music from Laura Valk of Skout and Fenway Park's own Josh Kantor!

Transcribed - Published: 15 November 2023

Condiment Crimes

It's time to clear the docket and this week we are adjudicating CONDIMENT CRIMES! Is ketchup sweet? What foods are acceptable to eat with ketchup? Which condiment is the MAIN ONE? Condiment experts Nick Wiger and Amelia Marino from The Doughboys podcast join us to weigh in!

Transcribed - Published: 8 November 2023

You Can't Hurdle the Truth

Zack brings the case against his brother, Nick. Zack claims to have been a member of their high school track team. Nick says: IT NEVER HAPPENED! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 1 November 2023

Fearing the Shocket

Happy Spooky Season! This week, Paul F. Tompkins joins Judge Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse to talk Halloween disputes. How do you pronounce Reese's Pieces? And why are the Judge, Bailiff, and Paul trapped in the studio with Spirit Halloween animatronics? And what does Aidan from the Spirit Halloween Fan Wiki have to do with this? There's just one way to find out!

Transcribed - Published: 25 October 2023

Better Call Parasol

Abby files suit against her friend, Aidan. They belong to a secret online group dedicated to complaining about other passengers on the London Underground. One major debate? Umbrellas! Aidan says bringing an umbrella on the train is unacceptable. Abby disagrees. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 18 October 2023

S'morder in the Court

Katherine brings the case against her husband, Lee. They like to go camping together. Katherine recently bought a new camping chair. But, Lee says they bring too much stuff. There’s no room for this chair in their car! But, Katherine thinks that they can make it work. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 11 October 2023

Emotion to Dismiss

Spencer and his wife, India, say that they both tend to humanize the items in their home. But now they are paring down their belongings as they’re planning a big move. Spencer wants to get rid of a particular rug. But India doesn’t, because it has owls on it. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 4 October 2023

Live From London 2023

This week's episode was recorded LIVE from the London Podcast Festival! First up is "Undergrounds for Dismissal." Mae likes to ride the bus. Paul likes to ride the tube. Then we hear from Tim and Belle about whether or not Belle can call herself a vegetarian if she eats an occasional steak. Finally, a case about "the best sandwich." Who's right? Who's wrong? With guests Benjamin Partridge (Beef & Dairy Network) and Emma-Lee Moss (fka Emmy the Great)!

Transcribed - Published: 27 September 2023

Online Beefs With Taylor Lorenz

Where's the beef? ONLINE! Taylor Lorenz joins the Court this week to help clear the docket and talk about ONLINE BEEFS! Taylor is a tech journalist and author of the new book Extremely Online: The Untold Story of Fame, Influence, and Power on the Internet. Judge Hodgman and Guest Bailiff Jean Grae consult Taylor on all things online: talking back within local restaurant reviews, intentional mistakes to drive engagement, meeting your troll IRL, wiki editing, and much more!

Transcribed - Published: 20 September 2023

Injunction Junction

Dan brings the case against his wife, Carrie. Dan wants to build a model railroad in a small switching layout that simulates a switchyard. This type of model railroad does not move in a loop. Carrie says that a model railroad is pointless if it doesn’t move in a loop! Who's right? Who's wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 13 September 2023

Case: The Rainbow

Dave brings the case against his niece, Morgan. When Morgan was around 5 years old, she stole his special collection of red skittles. And ate them! Even now, after 24 years, Dave is still mad. He demands restitution! But Morgan says: she was just a kid. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 6 September 2023

No-Glow Contendere

Michelle brings the case against her husband, Rob. Rob is restoring an old grandfather clock to make it usable as a display case. Michelle would like to display her uranium glass collection in the clock under a blacklight. But Rob thinks adding a blacklight will look tacky. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? With Guest Bailiff Monte Belmonte!

Transcribed - Published: 30 August 2023

Statute of Lamentations

Martha brings the case against her husband, Doug. Doug is a retired high school theater teacher. His last production was canceled in 2020 due to the pandemic. Three years later, he’s still lamenting about how good the show would have been. Martha says it’s time to move on! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 23 August 2023

Diss Bard

Howie brings the case against Mark. The two of them worked at rival summer camps. When the two camps came together for a sports festival at Howie's camp, Howie was tasked with singing a "sit down song" to corral the campers. Mark's campers sat down but Mark didn't. Howie called Mark out in song, embarrassing him in front of everyone. They have since become friends, but they say this incident colors their relationship. Mark says he shouldn't have been embarrassed by a fellow staff member. Howie says that he was simply helping Mark to lead by example. Who's right? Who's wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 16 August 2023

Per-roll Hearing

Jesse brings the case against her dad, Jim. They get together once a week to play Settlers of Catan. When the dice rolls start to favor Jesse, Jim accuses her of not rolling sufficiently. He then makes her use what he calls the "Cup of Shame" to ensure that the dice are rolled properly. She says there is nothing suspect about how she rolls dice, and that the Cup of Shame is unnecessary. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 10 August 2023

Criminal Elm-ement

Marya brings the case against her husband, Clark. Their family found and cared for a Spiny Elm caterpillar in their yard. When they collected neighborhood leaves to feed the caterpillar, Marya was shocked to find that Clark clipped them right off the tree. She thinks that they should have only collected leaves that had fallen on the ground. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 2 August 2023

Special Prosciutto-cutor

Craig brings the case against his mother, Bettie. Bettie has had a dry cured ham hanging in her basement since the 1960s. She now wants to throw it away. But, Craig thinks that they should cook and eat it! Or, if it’s unsafe for consumption, he’d like to at least give it a proper burial. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 26 July 2023

Special Proscuitto-cutor

Craig brings the case against his mother, Bettie. Bettie has had a dry cured ham hanging in her basement since the 1960s. She now wants to throw it away. But, Craig thinks that they should cook and eat it! Or, if it’s unsafe for consumption, he’d like to at least give it a proper burial. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 26 July 2023

Full Court Press

Rick brings the case against his friend, Ken. During the 2019-2020 NBA season, Rick and Ken made a bet about who would be named Rookie of the Year. Ken bet in favor of Zion Williamson, and Rick bet in favor of Ja Morant. While Ja Morant was named Rookie of the Year, Ken believes that he should not be compelled to pay. He says that the pandemic caused too many complications. The bet should be voided. But, Rick says that Ken needs to pay up! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?

Transcribed - Published: 19 July 2023

Mandatory Sentencing Guidelines

It's time to clear the docket! This week, it's officially Summertime Funtime in the Court of Judge John Hodgman! Judge Hodgman is back in Maine at the solar-powered studios of WERU with Joel Mann. Summertime Funtime Guest Bailiff Monte Belmonte (New England Public Media) is sitting in for Jesse Thorn. And, we've got word and grammar disputes to discuss with Merriam-Webster's own Emily Brewster. Can you dance with the person what brought you? Is saying UPMOST the UTMOST in wrongness? And what sound do French dogs make? Listen for the answers to these questions and more!

Transcribed - Published: 12 July 2023

RERUN: Dad Nauseam

This week, we're revisiting a certified Judge John Hodgman classic: DAD NAUSEAM! Daniel brings the case against his dad, Kevin. He says Kevin overuses the same joke with service industry workers, which the rest of the family finds embarrassing. Kevin thinks it’s a funny joke that brightens people’s day. Who's right?

Transcribed - Published: 5 July 2023

Fight Court

William brings the case against his wife Wren. Wren is a member of an amateur boxing gym. William wants to join her gym, but Wren is concerned about him overshadowing her hobby! Who's right?

Transcribed - Published: 28 June 2023

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