meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Judge John Hodgman

Not in My Fur-isdiction

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

Mac, John Hodgeman, Judge, Knowledge, More, Justice, Society & Culture, Kids & Family, Pc, Relationships, Jesse Thorn, Comedy, World, John Hodgman, Show, Information

4.87.9K Ratings

🗓️ 18 February 2026

⏱️ 57 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Michele and Nate are living a life free of children, and full of vehicles and pets. Michele says they should embrace pet maximalism. Nate's not sure about it.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast.

0:05.3

I'm guest bailiff, Gene Gray, mostly, sitting in for Jesse Thorne.

0:10.8

This week, not in my first diction.

0:15.3

Michelle brings the case against her husband, Nate.

0:18.1

Michelle and Nate are living the child-free dream as well as I. Three cats, two dogs,

0:25.2

and a Subaru, bo-ha. Sub-rubaha. They have it all, but Michelle wants more pets. Nate has two cars

0:34.6

and a motorcycle. Michelle says that if they are embracing vehicle maximalism,

0:40.3

it's only fair to embrace pet maximalism.

0:43.9

Nate says, they have enough pets for now.

0:46.9

Who's right?

0:48.1

Who's wrong?

0:49.0

Only one can decide.

0:51.0

Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the court from and presents an obscure cultural

0:55.8

reference. Oh, no. Oh, no, you cannot bring this with you. This is a hammer. This is a very

1:04.7

large hammer. Guest Bail of Jean Grey, welcome back to the show. Please swear the litigants in.

1:10.7

Michelle and Nate, please rise and raise your right hands.

1:14.9

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you, God, or a shoe, or a piece of gum?

1:24.5

Whatever?

1:26.0

I do.

1:26.9

I also do.

1:28.2

Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that he tried to limit my usage of use earlier just now?

1:39.3

Like, I think he's fine, but I feel like that was going a bit far.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Jesse Thorn, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Jesse Thorn and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.