Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm bailiff, Jesse Thorne. This week,

Shut your payhole. Genevieve brings the case against her dad, Mike. Mike won't let her pay for him

when they go out. If Genevieve does manage to pay, Mike keeps track so he can restore the balance

later. As the father, he believes he should

always pay his own way. Genevieve wants to be able to pick up the tab without Mike adding

the transaction to his mental ledger. Who's right, who's wrong? Only one can decide. Please

rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents

an obscure cultural reference. In extreme cases, when different people start shoving credit cards in my

face, saying everything but pick me, pick me, I am polite, but firm. I tell the contenders something

akin to, oh, you're all so wonderful to want to pay for dinner.

I wish I could pick all of you.

And then I take a step back from the table saying, I cannot wait to see who wins.

And then I walk away.

Bail of Jesse Thorne, please swear the litigants in.

Please rise and raise your right hands.

Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?

So help you, God or whatever? I do. I do. Do you swear to abide by Judge John Hodgman's ruling, despite the fact that he always makes Jennifer Marmer pick up the tab? I do. That's not true. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. Yes, thank you very much. Jesse Thorne and

Genevieve and

Mr. Genevieve's dad. That's not true. Judge Hodgman, you may proceed. Yes, thank you very much. Jesse Thorne.

And Genevieve and Mr. Genevieve's dad, aka. Mike, you may be seated for an immediate summary judgment in one of your favors.

Can either of you name the piece of culture that I referenced as I entered this internet courtroom?

Let's start with dad.

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