Probst-bate Court

Judge John Hodgman

Jesse Thorn

Complete, Hodgeman, Show, Information, Pc, Expertise, More, Hodgman, Knowledge, World, Mac, Daily, Comedy

4.8 • 7.7K Ratings

🗓️ 14 January 2026

⏱️ 61 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Annie says her friend, David, is withholding a point from her in their SURVIVOR Fantasy League. David says she doesn’t deserve the point!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the Judge John Hodgman podcast. I'm bailiff, Jesse Thorne. This week,
0:06.8	probes debate court. Annie brings the case against her friend David. Annie and David have a
0:12.8	survivor fantasy pool. Annie says that David is withholding a point that her team has earned.
0:21.0	David is winning the pool right now by a lot.
0:25.3	The one point will not make a difference.
0:28.4	But David says the rules are clear.
0:31.9	Annie doesn't deserve this point.
0:35.2	Annie says that David is, quote, just being a weenie. Who's right, who's
0:41.9	wrong, only one can decide. Please rise as Judge John Hodgman enters the courtroom and presents
0:48.1	an obscure cultural reference. 1727, Englishwoman Helen Morrison makes history as the first woman to place a personal ad in a newspaper and is committed to a mental asylum for three weeks as a result.
1:02.4	bail of Jesse Thorne, please swear the litigants in.
1:05.2	Annie, David, please rise and raise your right hands.
1:08.2	Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,
1:11.7	so help you, God, or whatever?
1:14.2	I do.
1:15.3	Do you swear to abide
1:16.3	by Judge John Hodgman's ruling
1:18.2	despite the fact
1:19.1	that unlike bailiff,
1:20.8	Jesse Thorne,
1:21.5	his friend Tyler from college
1:23.2	did not win the amazing race.
	...

Transcript will be available on the free plan in 28 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.

Previous episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Jesse Thorn, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Jesse Thorn and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.