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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Comedy, Society & Culture, Funny, Comedian, Comedians, Bertkreischer, 2b1c, Tomsegura, Tom Segura, The Machine, 2 Bears 1 Cave, Kool Aid, Bert Kreischer, Standupcomedy

4.8 • 22.5K Ratings

Overview

Weekly, comedian best friends Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer get together in the bear cave at YMH Studios to do what bears do: make each other laugh.

233 Episodes

Double Team w/ KFC Radio | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: Go to http://Kettleandfire.com/BEARS and use code: BEARS for a limited time to save 25% off your entire order. Brought to you by BetterHelp, visit https://BetterHelp.com/BEARS today to get 10% off your first month. Visit http://lucy.co/BEARS and use promo code BEARS to get 20% off your first order. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Head to https://Babbel.com/BEARS to get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription for a limited time. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert and Tom team up with Kevin Clancy and John Feitelberg hosts of KFC Radio on Barstool Sports! The cave is a bit crowded, but the guys make it work as they talk about meeting Joe Rogan for the first time and how to approach people that are super famous like Michael Jordan or Big Papi. Speaking of MJ, Bert is apparently the Michael Jordan of introducing people! Other topics covered include, Barstool Sports livestreams, Nancy Reagan, Big Cat, buddy podcasts, Tiny Desk concerts but with comedy, plus Bert has a fun reality show idea, and Kevin Clancy has a small story to tell. https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 231 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 8 April 2024

2 Bears, 1 Dave w/ Dave Attell | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: Go to http://Kettleandfire.com/BEARS and use code: BEARS to save 25% off your entire order. Visit https://Liquidiv.com and use code CAVE at checkout. Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code BEARS for $20 off your first purchase. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Head to https://Netsuite.com/BEARS to get a one-of-a-kind flexible financing program now through April 15th. Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert are joined by Dave Attell for an old-school comedy hangout. Dave has a new special out on Netflix called Hot Cross Buns and he's also here to play catch-up. Tom and Bert chat with him about comedy milestones, new material, overseas touring, Bert's fear of flying, crowd work, stage time, and big venues vs small venues. They also talk about all the comics from their respective generations and beyond including, Zach Galifianakis, Louis CK, Greg Giraldo, Shane Gillis, Brody Stevens, Doug Stanhope, plus the business acumen of Taylor Swift. Take a seat and smoke 'em if you go 'em! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 230 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 1 April 2024

Shannon Sharpe Won't Like This Bracket | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

When you register for the 2Bears 5K at www.2bears5k.com, you can also get tickets to the bears’ comedy shows at the Forum on May 9th and May 11th for $25 each. Tickets are available at bertbertbert.com and tomsegura.com. If you bought tickets to either Forum show BEFORE 3/25, get 10% off your registration with your Ticketmaster confirmation code. SPONSORS: Visit http://Kettleandfire.com/BEARS and for a limited time use code: BEARS to save 25% off your entire order. Head to http://policygenius.com/BEARS to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BEARS today to get 10% off your first month. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Visit https://NetSuite.com/bears now through April fifteenth, NetSuite is offering a one-of-a-kind flexible financing program. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave it's March Madness and Tom has a very special tournament bracket for Bert! Without giving it away it involves some man-love and some male celebrities. Tom also shares a story about running into Matt Damon in a men's restroom that ended with him going to his birthday dinner and Bert tells a story about some of the most memorable experiences he's had at live music concerts. Bert and Tom also discuss a solid birthday gift idea and dive into some performances courtesy of the Tiny Desk Concert series, before closing out with an AI art surprise. Bust some brackets ya'll! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 229 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 25 March 2024

Happy Women’s Month | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: - Visit https://kettleandfire.com/BEARS and use code: BEARS to save 25% off your entire order. - Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com -Go to https://liquiddeath.com/BEARS to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. - Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice. This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert and Tom are celebrating Women's History Month by listing off history's greatest women of all time. They're also making lists of history's most evil women too! From serial killers to dictators and pilots to queens, the bears are diving into all the great women who left their mark upon the world. The Bears also discuss the insane ways MMA fighters are built, couple code words, Bert's bloodwork, fat girl energy, eavesdropping, the American Nightmare documentary, and the TV series Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans. Happy Women's History month to all who observe! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 228 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 18 March 2024

A Gift For Joe Rogan | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: Visit https://kettleandfire.com/BEARS and use code: BEARS to save 25% off your entire order. Brought to you by BetterHelp, visit https://BetterHelp.com/BEARS today to get 10% off your first month. Go to https://LIQUID-IV.com and use code: CAVE for 20% off your first order. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Head to https://Babbel.com/BEARS to get 50% off a ONE-TIME PAYMENT FOR A LIFETIME Babbel subscription. Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Tom and Bert open the show talking about inflammatory podcast tactics involving Shannon Sharpe and Mike Epps, before moving into the classic comedy art form of men in drag. They then reveal a special video shoutout they ordered to celebrate Joe Rogan's recent success, a gift that has lingering effects on the bear's gag reflexes. Did you know Joe Rogan killed a mountain lion with a belt? Other topics discussed this week include home run podcast guests, Rory Scovel's art, Tom and Bert's recent weight loss journey, Nate Diaz, Marvin Jones, getting into fights, and Bert tells the "whitest story ever". Check it out! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 227 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 11 March 2024

The Most Special Performance EVER | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: Tune-in to the NASCAR Cup Series race on Sunday, March 10th at 3:30 PM Eastern on FOX. Check the schedule here: https://www.nascar.com/nascar-cup-series/2024/schedule/?cid=_SC_TP_WL_2B1CAMS_230202 Head to https://Shopify.com/BEARS to sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Head to http://policygenius.com/BEARS to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week, someone's getting an award for a very wholesome reason, plus on the topic of awards, the bears talk about actors who have gone full...you know, and played characters of diminished capacities. Bert even tears up a bit checking out a clip of John Malkovich from Of Mice And Men. The bears also talk about Leonardo DiCaprio in Gilbert Grape, Sean Penn in I Am Sam, French cinema, Billionaires doing depraved things for charity, Marlee Matlin, best TV shows about Florida, Linda Cardellini, and pleasuring horses! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 226 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 4 March 2024

World's Smallest D***s | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: -Get 10% off your order at https://thefreezepipe.com with promo code BEARS -Visit http://Lucy.co/BEARS and use promo code (BEARS) to get 20% off your first order. -This show is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit https://betterhelp.com/bears today to get 10% off your first month. -Get 50% off your order at https://factormeals.com/BEARS50 with promo code BEARS50 Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Bert's back in the Cave this week and he and Tom discuss aging and lower members. Specifically which nationality ages the best and which nation has the smallest average peener size. Two completely different debates for two completely intriguing topics. Speaking of words you can't say without getting flagged online, Bert and Tom also talk about how confusing the content policies are for social media sites and how sometimes it's difficult to tell what's appropriate and what's not. It's not all fun and games this week as Tom and Bert also get a little sentimental and talk about feeling shame for the first time, the heavy weight of people pleasing all the time, and being cynical about people finding fulfillment in silly things. Other things covered in this episode include, ladyboys, Bert's favorite Austrian painter, Queen Elizabeth, the origin of drinking ages, and Shannon Doherty. Tune in and learn something! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 225 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 26 February 2024

AI Is Taking Over The World w/ Duncan Trussell | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice. Head to https://Manscaped.com and use code: BEARS to get 20% plus free shipping. Tune in to the NASCAR Cup Series race on Sunday, February 25th at 3:00 PM ET on FOX! Check out the schedule here: https://www.nascar.com/nascar-cup-series/2024/schedule/?cid=_SC_TP_WL_2B1CAMS_230202 Go to http://liquiddeath.com/BEARS to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer. Bert's locked up so this week comedian Duncan Trussell joins Tom Segura on 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Duncan knows a thing or two about doing time and he shares these surprisingly fun experiences with Tom. This leads to Duncan and Tom discussing the ethics and dietary concerns when it comes to eating your friends and neighbors. But Humans aren't only a food source they're also a source of labor and comedy, two things that are at risk of being replicated by robots and AI, a discourse that Duncan has plenty of thoughts on. Other topics brought up include deviant monks, rituals, genital fillers, glass eyes, Japan, NPC's, the James Webb Telescope, sociopaths , war hero grandpas, goofballs, secret handshakes, and much more! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 224 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 19 February 2024

Delicious or Disgusting Taste Test | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: Go to https://LIQUID-IV.com and use code: CAVE to get 20% off your first order. Head to https://Babbel.com/BEARS to get a limited time deal of 50% off a one-time payment for a lifetime subscription. Catch the Great American Race on Sunday, February 18th at 2:30 PM Eastern on FOX! Check out the full schedule here: https://www.nascar.com/nascar-cup-series/2024/schedule/?cid=_SC_TP_WL_2B1CAMS_230202 Brought to you by https://BetterHelp.com/BEARS , visit today to get 10% off your first month. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert do some global taste testing and try out some different snacks from around the world! Some of them prove to be quite tasty while others require a trashcan standing by. Also keeping with that theme, the bears talk about the massive Indian population, the foreign policy of Pakistan, Russian chess masters, White Jamaicans, Bert's Travel Channel show, Japanese snowball fights, and the unique ways people say "LOL" in other languages. Try it out! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 223 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 12 February 2024

Our Big Announcement | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: Go to https://Shopify.com/bears to get a one-dollar-per-month trial period. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Head to https://NetSuite.com/BEARS to get your own KPI Checklist. Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer have created their own vodka! They discuss their brand new vodka Por Osos and share the process from distilling to bottling to drinking. The Bears also taste test some samples of the stuff, before brainstorming marketing moves and which celebrities they should recruit to be brand ambassadors. Burnt and Tim also talk about the upcoming Super Bowl, mixed drinks, sushi addictions, nicotine needs, Taylor Swift, famous Russians, la Raza, training horses, an update on the 2 Bears 5k, plus Donna Kelce tries to FaceTime Bert, and we get a reveal of what the Por Osos bottle looks like! Take a drink and earn your Monday. https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 222 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 5 February 2024

Does Katt Williams Hate Us? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: Head to https://Manscaped.com and use code: BEARS to get 20% off with free shipping. Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/bears or through my promo code BEARS. Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom shares his experiences from a recent trip to Japan, the delicious cuisine there, and Bert tries his best not to interrupt. The bears also discuss accents, addicts, geishas, the Grateful Dead, George R.R. Martin, meeting famous people, El Paso, the Golden Globes, 5K by May, and much more! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 221 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 29 January 2024

In Love with Weed w/ Jake Johnson | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: -Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now! https://dkng.co/bears New customers use promo my code BEARS and bet just $5 on any wager and get $200 in bonus bets instantly! -Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BEARS today to get 10% off your first month. This week actor Jake Johnson joins Bert Kreischer for this week’s episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. Jake's got a new movie out called "Self Reliance" and he didn't just act in it, he also produced, wrote, and directed it! He shares the entire experience with Bert which leads to a conversation about the current media landscape and the rapid pace of change. The two become instant pals as they discuss the early days of UFC, Jake's animated show "Hoops", Matthew Perry, Katt Williams' comedy, awards hosts, partying at Johnny Depp's house, unauthorized impersonators, being health conscience as you age, stoner activities, butt dialing Olivia Munn, shopping with Jason Schwartzman, plus a FaceTime with Damon Wayans Jr. and much more! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 220 ‌ GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (AZ/CO/IA/IL/IN/KS/KY/LA/MD/ME/MI/NJ/OH/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY), (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. Call 1-800-522-4700 (NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), or visit http://www.1800gambler.net (WV). 21+ (18+ KY/NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/KY/LA(select parishes)/MA/MD/ME/MI/NJ/NY/OH/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Bet $5 Get $200: Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. $200 issued in bonus bets. Void in NH/OR. No Sweat: Opt in req. 1 No Sweat token issued per day. SGP/SGPx bets only. 3+ legs req. Max. wagering limits apply. Must use funds from cash balance. Must select token BEFORE placing bet. Bet must lose after applying Token. Paid as one Bonus Bet based on amount of losing bet. Tokens expire at start of the last game each day when offered. No Sweat cannot be used to redeem Bet $5 Get $200 offer. Rewarded bonus bets expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. Bonus bets must be wagered 1x and stake is not included in winnings. Ends 01/28/24 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. See terms at http://dkng.co/ftball . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 22 January 2024

F1 Is Wild w/ Ryan Sickler | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKings app today! Sign-up using https://myaccount.draftkings.com/signup?intendedSiteExp=US-SB or through my promo code BEARS Go to https://Babbel.com/BEARS to get 55% off your Babbel subscription. Go to https://LIQUID-IV.com and use code: CAVE to get 20% off your first order. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom Segura is joined by guest bear Ryan Sickler! They discuss Ryan's recent health scare, Tom's old basketball injury, living forever, and The Way Back, Sickler's brand-new nostalgia podcast. Tom also tells Ryan some F1 stories, Ryan shares a story about an alleged bomber who climbed up a ferris wheel on a pier, plus the bears talk famous villains from history like Whitey Bulger, new sleeping tips, and the dangers of the gold mining industry in Latin America. Try it out! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com/ 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 219 GAMBLING PROBLEM? CALL 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (AZ/CO/IA/IL/IN/KS/KY/LA/MD/ME/MI/NJ/OH/OR/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY), (800) 327-5050 or visit http://gamblinghelplinema.org (MA). Call 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY). Please Gamble Responsibly. Call 1-800-522-4700 (NH), 888-789-7777/visit http://ccpg.org (CT), or visit http://www.1800gambler.net (WV). 21+ (18+ KY/NH/WY). Physically present in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/KS/KY/LA(select parishes)/MA/MD/ME/MI/NJ/NY/OH/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Void in ONT/OR/NH. Eligibility restrictions apply. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino & Resort (KS). Bet $5 Get $200: Valid 1 per new customer. Min. $5 deposit. Min. $5 bet. $200 issued in bonus bets. Void in NH/OR. No Sweat: Opt in req. 1 No Sweat token issued per day. SGP/SGPx bets only. 3+ legs req. Max. wagering limits apply. Must use funds from cash balance. Must select token BEFORE placing bet. Bet must lose after applying Token. Paid as one Bonus Bet based on amount of losing bet. Tokens expire at start of the last game each day when offered. No Sweat cannot be used to redeem Bet $5 Get $200 offer. Rewarded bonus bets expire 7 days (168 hours) after being awarded. Bonus bets must be wagered 1x and stake is not included in winnings. Ends 01/28/24 at 11:59 PM ET. Sponsored by DK. See terms at http://dkng.co/ftball . Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 15 January 2024

Praying for Laughs w/ Jessica Kirson | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 218

Comedian Jessica Kirson joins Tom Segura for this week’s episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. They discuss therapy, the conflict in Israel, the effect it had on a trip Charo planned there, Jessica's crowd work special, buying an NFL football team, Jim Norton, beautiful trans women, self-sabotage, prayer, compliments, plus the importance of acceptance and creative control. Enjoy! https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 8 January 2024

Calling Comics for 2 Bears 5K | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 217

SPONSORS: Visit https://betterhelp.com/BEARS today to get 10% off your first month. Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice. Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back together in the bear cave to start the new year! This time they aren't alone as a discussion on new year's resolutions spirals into a marathon challenge that leads to FaceTime calls involving several comedians. Shane Gillis, Mark Normand, Michelle Wolf, Tim Dillon, Stavros Halkias, and even Louis C.K. all jump on the show to address the newly dubbed "5K By May" challenge from the bears. While waiting on replies from Dave Chapelle and Kevin Hart, Bert and Tom, continue hunting for comedians to add to their list of bangers. https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 1 January 2024

Charitable Endeavors | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 216

This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Bert shares some phone sex tips from his private FaceTime sessions. They try out some new lip stuff that was gifted to Bert from the Philadelphia Flyers. Bert also introduces Tom to the Roast Beef Challenge. Tom and Bert then talk about their experiences at some recent basketball games and a UFC fight, before getting into their latest charitable endeavor involving Habitat for Humanity. They also get into Florida stuff, the trouble Diddy has gotten into, the It Is What It Is podcast, the drug of fame, and an update on the ongoing rivalry with the Kelce brothers!

Transcribed - Published: 18 December 2023

Stavros Halkias | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 215

This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom is joined by comedian Stavros Halkias who's here to make the bear cave fat again! They talk about Greece, mafia movies, fat guy math, doing comedy specials in Austin and foreign family members. Tom shares some discoveries about his family history and the duo bond over their appreciation of steaks and dogs, before searching for a new Religious wife for Stavros!

Transcribed - Published: 11 December 2023

2 Bears vs 2 Kelces | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 214

Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert throw down a challenge gauntlet for fellow podcasters and football players Jason and Travis Kelce! The Bears discuss the type of competition they'd issue to the Kelce brothers and draw lines in the sand between the different communities that would be in their corners. They talk Taylor Swift, the influence of Swifties and the BeyHive, relatable athletes, top 5 female music artists of all time, and even get a call from Pat McAfee!

Transcribed - Published: 4 December 2023

What Kind of Car is Your Wife? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 213

Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss the subtle art of beard dyeing, grooming near the groin, midlife crisis energy and much more! Plus, Bert shares some sober realizations he's had recently while being "California sober", and reveals to Tom how he's felt being a little bit lighter. The Bears also debate what type of car their wives are, the greatness of Michael Jordan, gorgeous football players, and discuss why being present is so satisfying.

Transcribed - Published: 27 November 2023

The Bears Are Back | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 212

Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Bert and Tom are back in the studio for some much needed catching up! They discuss Bert's new healthy habits and then immediately try out nicotine pouches. Tom shares a story about why he's the "Master of Finding Missing Items" and Bert recollects all the cruise ship insanity from "Fully Loaded at Sea". The bears also talk about Bert's "new girlfriend", not getting enough credit for good deeds, dark algorithms on Instagram, life advice from jacked dudes, taking Tom Segura's family on adventures, and Bert's crush on Josh Hartnett!

Transcribed - Published: 20 November 2023

The Crazy World of Steve-O | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 211

Welcome to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Bert Kreischer is joined by guest bear Steve-O. They discuss Steve-O’s new special, the start of his entertainment career, his Jackass co-stars, his time in rehab, what it means to be happy, and much more. They also talk on the phone to Mike “Cowhead” Calta, and Dr. Drew Pinsky.

Transcribed - Published: 13 November 2023

Bombing In Front Of De Niro w/ Colin Quinn | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 210

On this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Colin Quinn joins Tom to discuss some of their most horrific bomb stories. Colin also talks about working at SNL, his favorite (and least favorite) SNL hosts, and some pretty wild Chevy Chase stories. Tom is convinced that drunks ruin shows and Colin wants to pitch a new idea to Bert for his standup. Other topics include: one man shows, “resetting” a bad audience, and how MTV used to be cool. It’s a fun and insightful episode. Enjoy!

Transcribed - Published: 6 November 2023

John Stamos Was Bullied For His Looks | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 209

On this episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave, John Stamos joins Bert to talk about fame, getting sober, and The Beach Boys. Stamos also opens up about being bullied for his looks and the loss of Bob Saget. The two discuss Don Rickles, the Olsen twins, burning bridges, and the importance of giving it your all. Other topics include: General Hospital, Howard Stern, and family. Tom comes up quite a bit, as well. John’s new book is available now and it sounds like there are a lot of crazy stories in it. Check it out!

Transcribed - Published: 30 October 2023

The Dark Side of Clean Comedy w/ Sam Morril | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 208

Sam Morril joins Tom Segura for this week’s episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. They discuss Michael Jordan and the NBA, having to do clean comedy and the dark sides of clean comedians, some of their favorite movies, gambling in Atlantic City, Woody Allen, their writing processes, Tracy Morgan, Tom’s dad Top Dog, Greg Giraldo, Tom’s experience flying with the Blue Angels, and the flight that had to land because a woman had diarrhea on the plane.

Transcribed - Published: 23 October 2023

The Rise of Matt Rife | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 207

Tom Segura is joined by guest bear Matt Rife for this week's episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. They discuss Matt's meteoric rise to fame, Matt's time on Wild 'n Out, Netflix comedy specials vs. YouTube comedy specials, crowd work and hecklers, dealing with negative feedback, Matt plans to buy his mom a house, and much more!

Transcribed - Published: 16 October 2023

What Will Make Bert Less Fat? w/ Layne Norton | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 206

Layne Norton is the founder of fitness coaching company BioLayne, a powerlifter, bodybuilder, and author. He joins Tom Segura to discuss powerlifting, bodybuilding, testosterone replacement therapy, stress management, the ketogenic diet, how unhealthy diet soda actually is, why people are obese, and wraps up by discussing Bert Kreischer’s new healthy lifestyle.

Transcribed - Published: 9 October 2023

From Hip Hop to Stand-Up w/ Cipha Sounds | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 205

On this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Cipha Sounds joins Bert as a guest bear to talk about his journey from DJ to stand-up comedian. The two discuss sobriety and how being easy to work with will get you far in this industry. They also talk New York hip hop, the death of Tupac, and Cipha’s new TV show Hip Hop Treasures, which sounds awesome. There’s also a conversation about religious sex and a move called “soaking.” Enjoy!

Transcribed - Published: 2 October 2023

Seducing Taylor Swift | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 204

This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom and Bert kick off the episode with their recent interactions with musicians. Bert saw Metallica and Tom's been talking with Oliver Anthony. They go on to talk about some of the biggest names in music: Ed Sheeran, Taylor Swift, and James Hetfield. Bert has a revelation about donating to GoFundMe. Tom and Bert switch lanes into a little sports talk, then baller foods. They wrap up the episode with a huge announcement.

Transcribed - Published: 25 September 2023

2 Bears, 2 Great Minds w/ Andrew Huberman & Cory Henry | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 203

Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are joined by neuroscientist Andrew Huberman and jazz musician Cory Henry. The four of them discuss how music affects the brain, Bert’s recent decision to get healthy, how dopamine works, swimming with great white sharks, Tom’s basketball injury, whether or not Stevie Wonder can sing, anxiety, sleep apnea, sobriety, David Goggins, and much more!

Transcribed - Published: 18 September 2023

Bears vs. Wild Animals | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 202

Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! This week Tom and Bert discuss which wild animals they could beat in a fight, getting spray tans, seeing Metallica in concert, donating to charity, Kevin Hart's accident, racing, what makes someone a real artist, Taryn Manning, Bert's new diet, and much more!

Transcribed - Published: 11 September 2023

Sober Bert | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 201

Welcome back to another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave. This week, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss their favorite radio shows and podcasts, Scientology, how Peru lost Machu Picchu, what it takes to be an ambassador, and much more! Plus, Bert went to Jazzfest, and saw some of his favorite artists perform, and found some new favorites. Also, Bert is deciding to get sober to help ease his crazy schedule!

Transcribed - Published: 4 September 2023

Episode 200 Spectacular | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 200

It’s the 200th episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave, and Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer got each other some awesome gifts to celebrate! Tom shows Bert Kevin Leonardo’s infamous “Nair Hair Removal” video, and Bert discusses having Covid 7 times, history, cancel culture, luxury tour buses, and much more!

Transcribed - Published: 28 August 2023

I Almost Died | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 199

It's another week of 2 Bears 1 Cave with the OG bears Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! They bears start off with sharing how they recently dealt with conflict resolution between them, spray tans, the worst picture of Bert yet, and the Just For Laughs Comedian of the Year award. The bears see if you can cure stinky body parts, they discuss surfing, and Tom shares a story of how he almost drowned. They wrap up the episode with reviewing videos of Great White Sharks, Orcas and Polar Bears attacking people.

Transcribed - Published: 21 August 2023

Beer Olympics | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 198

This week we bring you 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer… in 4K! The bears are back in their Austin den and Bert tells Tom all about The Beer Olympics hosted by Bussin’ With The Boys, surrounded by ELITE athletes like Taylor Lewan, David Bakhtiari, Michael Chandler, and Shane Gillis. Tom then shares with Bert that their overweight producer, Nadav, has been challenged and is training for the NYC Marathon. Bert shows how strong he’s become and shares his personal experiences and advice with Nadav for the upcoming marathon.

Transcribed - Published: 14 August 2023

Wildest Shark Attacks w/ Theo Von | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 197

This week we have a very special 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and guest bear Theo Von! They discuss having sunglass options, old school comedians with gimmicks, Matt Rife, and the evolution of getting on TV shows. They talk about Ole Miss and LSU College Football. They discuss how money has the potential to demotivate you and the feeling of making people laugh.

Transcribed - Published: 7 August 2023

Rob Lowe's Incredible Life | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 196

Bert Kreischer is joined by guest bear Rob Lowe on this week’s episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave! Rob discusses being famous in the 80s, growing up with other movie stars in Malibu, golf, watch collecting, transcendental meditation, and much more! He also share stories about Cary Grant, “Unstable,” “The Outsiders,” and “Rumble Fish,” gives advice on making a “first move,” and discusses moving out of L.A. to Santa Barbara.

Transcribed - Published: 31 July 2023

Fun With Chloroform | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 195

Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are back together in the bear cave. They discuss beard grooming, staying in shape, some of their favorites bites and drinks, car accident videos, and much more! They have fun with the FaceApp, give an update on 2 Bears Racing, ponder buying chloroform, and call Dr. Drew for his guidance on it.

Transcribed - Published: 24 July 2023

Knives and Fights w/ Joel McHale | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 194

Welcome to another episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Bert Kreischer and guest bear Joel McHale! They talk about their heads, hair and health along with taking the testosterone plunge. They talk about work ethic, narcissism, auditioning together for The Office and some Bud Light commercials. They share their bad reviews with each other, Bert lost his joke book, and they trade stories about their families. Joel talks a bit about his early career as a college football player, and the two talk about dogs Bert wasn’t allowed to get, funerals and Steve Harvey. They discuss fights, knives, Jimmy Tatro and give Robert Kelly a call right before he did Bonfire with Big Jay Oakerson.

Transcribed - Published: 17 July 2023

Flying Death Traps | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 193

It’s a week of 2 Bears 1 Cave with your favorite bears Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! They start off with talking about Bert’s distrust in Doctor Quacks, terrifying hot air balloons, Bert’s current struggles that he should discuss with a therapist and some wild food adventures. They discuss their kids, chloroform and fun challenges and what state would be the most fun to move to. They trade stories about their first times with girls, talk about sexual fluidity throughout history and talk about the next possible 2 Bears Live!

Transcribed - Published: 10 July 2023

The Content Machine w/ Kountry Wayne | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 192

We have another episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Bert Kreischer and guest bear Kountry Wayne. Kountry tells us about his 10 kids, growing up selling cocaine, and loving food. They talk about women, Kountry Wayne’s journey, cars and music. Kountry Wayne sheds some light on his content and what it was like to work with Lil’ Boozy and TI. They talk about Kountry’s character “Drip,” how it compares to Bobcat Goldthwait, and how Kountry developed an audience. They discuss embracing the internet and making content they’re proud of.

Transcribed - Published: 3 July 2023

Bert's Blow Up w/ Ari Shaffir | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 191

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave we have Tom Segura and guest bear Ari Shaffir! They discuss language, how main landers partake in open defecation and their own human dumps. They discuss some Israeli behaviors, Ari’s YouTube special, singers that fell from grace, and traveling in South America and Australia. They talk about how awesome it would be to be gay, and they discuss Mark Normand’s bachelor party where Bert Kreischer had a bit of a meltdown. They exchange stories about knocking things out of people’s hands, Tom’s kids and Ari’s hemorrhoids.

Transcribed - Published: 26 June 2023

Is Squirting Real? | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 190

It’s a classic episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer and Bert gets right into the only thing on his mind at the moment: Squirting isn’t real. They talk about some weird fan interactions they’ve had and how they interact with celebrities they admire. They discuss taking chances on certain jokes, tough languages, releasing movies in China, and learning how to say very cool things in Arabic. Bert talks about how much he’s been partying during the Machine premiere, Trick Daddy, Drink Champs, and celebrities they’d love to party with.

Transcribed - Published: 19 June 2023

Plus-Size Accommodations w/ Tim Dillon | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 189

It’s another episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and guest bear Tim Dillon! Tim explores what his political platform would be for 2024, North Korean way of life, and what murder feels like, allegedly, and the Austin serial killer. They discuss wildly inappropriate politicians, Tim’s new book, and how horrible cruises are. They discuss accommodations for fat people, trans racial folks, and Tim Dillon’s incredible ability for creating great content.

Transcribed - Published: 12 June 2023

The Machine Premiere | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 188

It's another week of 2 Bears 1 Cave with the OG bears Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! Bert's movie "The Machine" just came out and you should go see it in theatres! They talk about the making of the movie, Tom surprising Bert at the premiere, fun stories about working with Iva Babić, Mark Hamill, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mark Wahlberg. Bert recalls how good some famous people at the premiere were great at interacting with people, and how it's completely different from Joe Rogan's energy, there own energy and Jason Mamoa. And we wrap up with people flubbing Bert's last name and Drink Champs

Transcribed - Published: 5 June 2023

Flooring It w/ Ryan Blaney | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 187

This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave Tom Segura is here to talk to his guest bear, American professional stock car racer who competes full time in the NASCAR Cup Series driving the #12 Ford Mustang for Team Penske, Ryan Blaney! Tom learns about how Ryan got into pro racing, Ryan learns about Tom’s love of cars, and Ryan shares some hilarious Michael Jordan stories. Ryan shares the differences between the different skill levels of racing, racer Josh Williams who walked across the track in protest, touring routines, Talladega Nights, and how they hung out in Daytona at the Indy 500. They discuss the typical fitness level of a NASCAR driver, they talk about some of their favorite street legal cars,

Transcribed - Published: 29 May 2023

Make Hollywood Fun Again w/ Kevin Smith | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 186

It’s 2 Bears 1 Cave with Bert Kreischer and guest bear, cult classic director, producer and podcaster, Kevin Smith! The bears discuss the business of podcasting, how Kevin experimented with live shows, and The Machine. They talk about a new chapter of Hollywood, Ben Affleck, and Kevin opens up about his recent mental breakdown. They share insights about workaholism, family life overlapping with their work, pop tarts, doing cocaine on accident and heart attacks.

Transcribed - Published: 22 May 2023

The Dream Team w/ Ryan Sickler | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 185

It's another episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and guest bear, comedian and podcaster, Ryan Sickler! They talk about how wild the stories on Sickler's patreon is, discuss sex parties and share their most embarrassing sports moments. They share wild stories of Larry Bird talking trash, the Dream Team, and OJ Simpson. They talk about famous athletes with AIDs, freak athletes, trade coach stories and discuss athletes who smoke and party.

Transcribed - Published: 15 May 2023

The Monarchy Sucks w/ Jim Jefferies | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 184

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave Bert Kreischer welcomes guest bear Jim Jefferies! They discuss serial killers, Australia, and a having a bad sense of smell. They discuss Brad Pitt, Austin Butler, Tom Holland and accents. They discuss Jim’s new TV show and try to see how well Bert would do on it. They discuss the Royal Family, the comedy terrorist, top tier American and foreign comedians, and Jimmy Carr’s attempted cancelation. They also discuss controversial current events, Jim’s comedy, Jim’s Dad and Australian legend Shane Warne.

Transcribed - Published: 8 May 2023

Women Have It Good w/ Yannis Pappas | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 183

Tom Segura is joined by guest bear Yannis Pappas on this week’s 2 Bears, 1 Cave. They discuss the old times, speeding, homelessness, exclusivity and wait for things, their experiences in therapy, and how Yannis is cheating on his therapists, and very cool guys Greg Hardy, Ray Rice, Woody Allen, and Bernie Madoff. Yannis also shares the story of how he got shot, and his experience recovering from it.

Transcribed - Published: 1 May 2023

Testosterone Bears | 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 182

It’s another classic episode of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer. Bert is trying to update his wardrobe, how much weight change affects looks, and if it has the potential to change a fat comedian’s act. Tom injects Bert with (doctor prescribed) testosterone, the discuss what tattoos they’re going to get on their newly ripped bodies, and how jacked some athletes used to be. They discuss plane crashes, health and longevity,

Transcribed - Published: 24 April 2023

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