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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Duncan Trussell BLOWS Bert's Mind! | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.823.2K Ratings

🗓️ 3 November 2025

⏱️ 78 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tom will be filming his new stand-up special in Milwaukee at The Riverside Theater on November 14th & 15th! Tickets are still available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show. Go get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. SPONSORS: - Protect your family with life insurance from Ethos. Get your free quote at https://Ethos.com/BEARS - Get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping https://bluechew.com - Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Right now, get our free business guide, Demystifying AI, at https://Netsuite.com/BEARS. - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. Bert Kreischer celebrates turning 53 the only way he knows how — by spiraling into an existential and hilarious conversation with comedian and cosmic philosopher Duncan Trussell. From tales of Bigfoot and testicular cancer to deep dives on AI, death, main character syndrome, and whether any of us are even real, this episode swings from absurd to profound faster than Bert can take his shirt off. Duncan and Bert talk about everything — mortality, digital immortality, the illusion of self, performative living, and how comedy might be the purest form of chaos magic. Along the way, they share stories about Joe Rogan, Freddy Soto, and the strange spiritual beauty of making people laugh. There’s even a surprisingly thoughtful discussion about funerals, cruises, and the philosophy of “carpe diem.” Bert also reveals the truth about his infamous cruise (yes, the vodka shortage is real), his daughter’s fandom for Duncan, and why thumbnail culture might have “ruined podcasting.” Duncan, meanwhile, breaks Bert’s brain more than once with talk of Roko’s Basilisk, reincarnation, and smiling on the way to the gallows — all while making it sound like the funniest TED Talk you’ve ever heard. If you’ve ever wondered why we laugh at tragedy, why people live like they’re being filmed, or if you might just be an AI simulation of yourself — this is the episode for you. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 313 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:43 - Death Plans & Bigfoot’s Balls 00:03:59 - AI, Immortality & Roko’s Basilisk 00:07:02 - Main Character Syndrome 00:14:54 - Comedy, Therapy & Freddie Soto 00:17:10 - Hail Satan & The Disney Adult Disaster 00:22:46 - Loving Your Fans & Bert’s Cruise of Chaos 00:33:07 - Performative Life & The Polar Plunge Moment 00:41:50 - Are You Really You? Identity, Trauma, & Thumbnail People 00:54:17 - Smiling on the Way to the Gallows 01:03:10 - Cancel Culture, Bunkers & The Human Comedy 01:09:52 - The Weird Miracle Of Being Alive 01:13:43 - Bert Ruined A Photo Op Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey everyone, this month, I'm filming my new stand-up special in Milwaukee at the Riverside

0:05.4

Theater on November 14th and 15th.

0:08.0

Tickets are available in Milwaukee for the November 14th show only.

0:12.1

I'll also be in El Paso, Tucson, and Colorado Springs this weekend.

0:16.1

Get your tickets now at tomscore.com slash tour.

0:19.4

100%.

0:20.6

Cheers. now at tombscgray.com slash tour. 100% brand new episode of Two Bears One Cave and for my birthday

0:27.7

I got my favorite guy in the world.

0:30.8

Thank you.

0:32.0

And my daughter's favorite podcaster, comedian.

0:37.4

It is a pleasure, Duncan Truzzlele thank you for having me on sir

0:41.2

thank you thank you today I turn if you're watching this this November 3rd and I turned 53 years old

0:48.1

congratulations thank you I think I did I think I lived through the week it's not there yet

0:52.4

if I die this is going to be an eerie podcast.

0:55.6

Do you want to leave messages?

0:58.2

Do you have anything planned for your death?

1:02.0

I don't know.

1:02.7

I go back and forth between like jumping off a building or self-immolation.

1:06.5

No, no, not killing yourself.

1:12.0

I don't know, maybe a gun or a rope.

1:15.1

No, have you ever?

1:16.5

Do you have a plan for like the day you die?

...

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