Fun With Foreign Slurs | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.8 • 23.2K Ratings

🗓️ 30 June 2025

⏱️ 67 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

SPONSORS: - Engines roar, the city comes alive — it’s NASCAR’s ultimate street race in Chicago! Get your tickets now at https://NASCAR.com for a weekend to remember. - Use code BEARS at https://monarchmoney.com in your browser for 50% your first year. - Get started at https://factormeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Tom checks in on Bert’s intestine surgery and his new commitment to being loud, red, and barely alive. The Bears cover everything from Hellcats to Titanic cowards, and disgusting public behavior. They spiral into career-ending scandals — Ray Rice, Aaron Hernandez, Mel Gibson, Michael Jackson, and Hitler — and debate whether being talented enough erases your crimes. Plus: the Oceangate sub disaster, a fisherman who supposedly ate his friend, and a fascinating discussion about racist costumes, slurs, and Bert turning purple in a sauna. Also: plutonium, bad names, the lady versions of both bears, and how throwing your wife through a window could be noble. Classic Bear chaos. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 295 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:00:58 - DMV Hotties & Beefing With Kids 00:10:07 - Women & Children First 00:17:53 - Shame, Mel Gibson, & Lance Armstrong 00:24:57 - Famous People Committing Crimes 00:35:32 - Would You Rather? 00:39:13 - War Documentaries 00:44:48 - Slurs In Other Languages 00:53:44 - Names & The Studio Beef 00:59:11 - Japan & Uranium 01:05:08 - Lady Bert Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	100%
0:01.2	Yeah, we are back.
0:06.9	We are in Los Angeles.
0:09.1	We're doing two bears, one cave.
0:10.9	Everybody's dying to know.
0:12.5	How do you feel after having 16 feet of your intestines removed?
0:16.7	Red.
0:17.6	I feel really red today.
0:18.8	You do?
0:19.2	That's crazy.
0:19.8	God, I'm red today.
0:55.3	Like, I know I get shit for being red a lot. But man, I just got out of the sauna, just got out of the gym. And I'm like, I am looking at myself in the mirror as I walked past. Yeah. Today's a rough one for me. Well, you know, there's a thing about being red is like you can fight it or you can lean in. Like, what about getting redder? Ooh. You know what I mean? Yeah, and just get so red that people go, they don't even notice anymore. Yeah, exactly. Like, why fight it? Good. Yeah. Also, red's a good. I think you look good with red. Can I tell you, I'm always amazed that like, like when you feel fat and disgusting, and then you're on an airplane and you see someone really fat and disgusting. Yeah. And then you go, how do you feel? Like, I'm not as bad as you. I didn't get a seatbelt extender. You know, the, you look disgusting. the real place where you kind of, you find, you find kind of your place in society is when you go to like a hotel pool.
1:18.2	You know what I mean?
1:19.2	And so, because at first you're like, I'm a piece of shit.
1:22.2	I'm the fucking grossest.
1:23.8	And you, you see a couple like fitness bodies and you're like oh my god like that's what
1:30.2	you're supposed to look like this fucking perfect human then some fucking pig waddles down and like
1:39.0	has trouble kicking their slippers off and you see the rolls just hang in.
1:44.6	You're like, this is the grossest person at the pool.
1:47.0	And then you kind of smile.
1:48.8	You're like, that person's way grosser than me.
1:51.1	And you know exactly your status because there's always like a couple gorgeous people.
	...

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