Tom and Bert's Favorite OF Submissions | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.8 • 23.2K Ratings

🗓️ 6 October 2025

⏱️ 64 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Attention Hanover, MD! Tommy Buns is coming to The Hall At Live! Casino, Sunday, October 19. Get tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour SPONSORS: - As always, get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code BEARS at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. https://bluechew.com -Sponsored by BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at https://betterhelp.com/bears - Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning for FREE at https://NetSuite.com/BEARS. This week, Bert and Tom dive headfirst into the weirdest brain rot rabbit holes yet — from testing out VR porn ("you can see her fillings!") to auditioning more OnlyFans submissions, one of which that includes… a unique Por Osos bottle cameo. The Bears also pitch a business idea for a grown-man “locker room,” debate how Bert's woke daughters compare to Tom's redneck sons, and discover the world’s wildest dogs and cats. Plus: Jelly Roll’s 5K transformation, Savannah cats that look like mini-lions, and Bert’s desperate plan to sneak another puppy past Leanne. It’s sex robots, freeze porn, fat-to-fit inspiration, and pet chaos all rolled into one classic 2 Bears, 1 Cave mess. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 309 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:03:22 - Jimmy Kimmel and Tylenol 00:08:17 - New Interest 00:15:54 - What The Kids Are Into 00:27:48 - The Bears Draft A Prospect 00:38:32 - The Locker Room Experience 00:46:18 - Jelly Roll 00:52:10 - Cane Corso vs. Dogo Argentino vs. Savannah Cat 01:01:14 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Take a close.
0:00.6	Oh, my God.
0:01.3	Oh, my God.
0:02.8	Oh, my God.
0:03.6	Oh, my God.
0:04.7	Oh, my God.
0:06.2	Holy shit.
0:07.5	Holy shit.
0:10.2	Okay.
0:11.0	Tom, this is incredible.
0:12.4	100%.
0:13.4	Yep.
0:17.4	Welcome to another episode of Two Bears One Cave.
0:22.6	Oh shit, I hit pause.
0:23.9	Fuck.
0:24.6	God, Tom, this is insane.
0:26.8	This is the greatest thing I've ever.
0:29.7	Watching adult footage in virtual reality.
0:34.1	So what's going on?
0:34.8	What are you seeing?
0:35.6	Okay, there is a Russian chick and a red dress.
0:39.5	Okay. And she's sucking my dick. And Tom, I have abs. I have limited pubs. I have skinny legs.
	...

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