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2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

This Episode Is Getting Us Fired w/ Stavros Halkias & Chris Distefano | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

2 Bears 1 Cave

Society & Culture, Comedy

4.823.2K Ratings

🗓️ 28 July 2025

⏱️ 68 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Check out our new summer merch at https://store.ymhstudios.com/ SPONSORS: - Eat smart at https://FactorMeals.com/bears50off and use code bears50off to get 50 percent off plus FREE shipping on your first box. Stavros Halkias and Chris Distefano are back for round two of Summer Bears—and things spiral immediately. Dressed in their finest “Queens County court appearance” outfits, the guys dive into tales of impersonating cops, awkward court appearances, and Chris’s brief career as a physical therapist (and even briefer run-in with medical malpractice). The bears get uncomfortably honest about massages that went too far, AI-generated thirst traps, and whether or not Bert and Tom make smashable women. Plus: Stav drops knowledge about Benjamin Franklin’s revolutionary sexcapades, Chris reflects on losing MSG (but gaining perspective), and both dudes debate the pros and cons of fake tits, handy wives, and aging out of horniness. It’s unhinged, unfiltered, and definitely leading to the hosts getting fired. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 299 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:08 - Chrissy Court Date 00:06:15 - From Physical Therapy To Comedy 00:18:25 - Happy Ending 00:28:45 - Lady Tom & Bert 00:34:32 - Female Stavvy & Chrissy 00:43:55 - Handy Women & Unhandy Men 00:53:07 - Benjamin Franklin 00:58:32 - MSG 01:03:36 - Wrap Up Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

100%

0:01.2

What's up, everybody?

0:07.1

Welcome to yet another episode of two bears, one cave,

0:10.9

aka the summer bears.

0:12.5

I'm Chris O'Cefino.

0:13.6

This is Stavros halikis.

0:15.6

Halkees.

0:16.3

Halkius.

0:16.9

The eye goes after the K.

0:19.2

Why?

0:20.1

I'm sorry, man.

0:21.2

It just does.

0:22.2

I don't know.

0:22.9

Yeah.

0:23.1

I don't know.

0:23.6

You've taken up with my ancestors.

0:25.5

We got Josh Zolo, aka Benson Spoon, on the ones and twos.

0:28.9

He looks like Benson Boone going through estrogen therapy.

0:33.3

One month into HRT.

0:38.5

Yeah, dude. It's softer Benson for sure. Yeah. Yeah, dude.

0:39.4

The softer Benson, for sure.

0:41.3

Yeah.

...

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