Overview
Character studies are released every Monday. Special topics episodes are released periodically.
Book club episodes for Chamber of Secrets, Prisoner of Azkaban, Goblet of Fire, Order of the Phoenix, Half-Blood Prince, and Deathly Hallows as well as special topics shows recorded from September 2016 through December 2019 can be listened to on the feed titled The Real Weird Sisters: The Archive.
396 Episodes
Alice and Martha discuss the 597th page of Goblet of Fire, where Dumbledore makes his first significant appearance of the One Page at a Time series as he explains a world which is entirely his own to Harry and Fawkes's presence is heavily implied. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 28 July 2025
Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to continue discussing the graveyard scene, this time featuring a full-bodied Voldemort and some very shadowy figures. Plus, Harry gets a new job as a spokeperson for a popular fast food restaurant! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 21 July 2025
In a surprising twist, Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are almost as excited to discuss this week's five minutes as Cedric was to realize the cup was a portkey! Wormtail casually slices his hand off, Daniel Radcliffe puts on the performance of a lifetime, and "Ralph Vines" transforms from the Embrymort into a full human body complete with prosthetic fingertips. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 14 July 2025
In one of the most Hermione's bag-worthy pages so far, Harry stops Ron from some important personal growth and Hermione bursts into tears at the *boys*! Find out which segment is a bit of a struggle for this page, and work through all of the WW questions with Alice and Martha on this week's One Page at a Time! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 7 July 2025
One of Martha's predictions from last week comes true as Harry finds himself in detention with Lockhart, hearing voices that no one else can hear. Is lilac ink really so strange, and who/what exactly is Gladys Gudgeon? Alice and Martha don't even need Quora to ask the most pressing questins on this week's episode! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 30 June 2025
Oh, cheer up, listeners! Alice and Martha return to the One Page at a Time series, while the trio returns home for the summer holidays. All on this page: the first sighting of a very tiny owl, an absence of food (especially chocolate), and a few good games of Exploding Snap! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 23 June 2025
It might be the most boring five minutes yet, but that doesn't mean it will be most boring Take Five yet! Alice and Martha are joined once again by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss more of the maze (maize?), the incredibly underwhelming red sparks, and the thrilling discovery Cedric makes upon being transported to the graveyard. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 16 June 2025
On this Take Five, Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim talk mistakes of epic proportions, voiceover flubs, and the Hogwarts band. It might seem like we're close to the end of the movie now that the third task is beginning, but there's still lots to cover before we reach the goblet, which only Professor Moody knows the exact location of. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 9 June 2025
Alice and Martha close the book on Fleur, discussing her arc in the seventh book. Fleur may be 'ideous as one of the seven Potters, but don't worry - her beauty is noted in just about every other scene! And it doesn't seem like she minded spending Christmas with Ron and missing out on Celestina's warbling. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 2 June 2025
Hello, Father! Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim are back to discuss JUNIOR'S race around the courtroom, Karkaroff's dramatics in the cage and the closet, and Dumbledore's pensive monologuing about the Pensieve. You may be surprised by the appearance of Filch on this podcast! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 26 May 2025
The characterfleur studies continue, as Alice and Martha discuss Phlegm in the fifth and sixth books. Ol' Fleur Delacour eemproves 'er Eenglish, 'Arry becomes a Fleur apologist, and Bill starts to enjoy his steaks extra rare. We will return with Part 3 to properly eulogize our favorite French character! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 19 May 2025
Alice and Martha return to character studies to discuss everyone's favorite French champion, Fleur Delacour! Hermione might not give her a fair shake, and Ollivander might scoff at her Veela hair wand, but Fleur has a lot of redeeming characteristics, too! At least she's not a leetle boy! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 12 May 2025
Three of Martha's most infamous characters, plus Harry and Ron convene on this week's page for some very goofy times in the Hospital Wing. Plus, find out what Mary GrandPre has been up to during quarantine! (Don't worry; it doesn't involve Twitter). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 5 May 2025
In the most somber OPAAT yet, Alice and Martha review recent bad news in the Wizarding World, which is affecting many of Harry's classmates, including Hannah Abbott, a round-faced Hufflepuff student, the Patil twins, and Lavender Brown. Luckily, Harry's memory is up to the task of remembering all the important details he need to successfully analyze his classmates' actions! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 28 April 2025
One Page at a Time returns to Prisoner of Azkaban, this time for a scene in which Sirius acts enormously strangely. Alice and Martha discuss cat, rat, and dog and scrounge for a bird too, of course! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 21 April 2025
Alice and Martha discuss page 231 of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Alice gets to practice long-form Jim Dale impressions, Barty Crouch Jr. gets to make some weird decisions as Moody, and Harry's at of defiance has the potential to become a pretty sick meme. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 14 April 2025
To discuss this amazing five minutes, Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shut Up Tim! There's plenty of tongue wiggling, MVB contenders, and cringy Hagrid moments to break down this week! Harry even gets to enter a world which is entirely his own. And don't worry, the microwave minutes may be over, but there's a new segment in town! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 7 April 2025
Alice and Martha continue with their new show format - One Page at a Time! In this series, the sisters will focus on one randomly selected page from the series each week. This week's episode covers Order of the Phoenix, page 341, on which the D.A. is solidly "In the Hog's Head." Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 31 March 2025
Alice and Martha premiere a new show format - One Page at a Time! In this series, the sisters will focus on one randomly selected page from the series each week. This week's episode covers Prisoner of Azkaban, page 119, on which the trio nerviously, anxiously, and gloomily reflects on Bucky's conflict with Malfoy. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 24 March 2025
It's time to close the seventh book on Remus John Lupin, husband of "Dora," who prefers to go by her surname only. Alice and Martha spend plenty of time making fun of dear old Lupin, but also properly eulogizing him for the wonderful teacher and person that he was. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 17 March 2025
Alice and Martha go through the tiramisu-like "layers" of Remus John Lupin's reactions and behaviors in the first half of Deathly Hallows. And even though it seemed like the Lupinversation would wrap up this week, the proper eulogy will happen next week! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 10 March 2025
In the third installment of the Lupinversation, Alice and Martha cover Lupin's arc in the fifth and sixth books. Lupin goes underground, comforts dear Tonks on the loss of her cousin (who she might've been a little in love with) and finds out the "truth" about Severus (Snape). Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 3 March 2025
Alice and Martha take some time to remember their grandmother, Doris Krebill, who passed away earlier this month at age 99. Following a brief introduction is the Real Weird Grandma's interview from the 2019 Mother's Day special episode. Regular episodes will resume next week.
Transcribed - Published: 24 February 2025
Alice and Martha resume the Lupinversation after just a little time off! It is he, Remus John Lupin in the fourth and fifth books, not yet husband of Nymphadora Tonks (who prefers to go by her surname only).  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 17 February 2025
Alice and Martha discuss another dynamic duo this week - Hepzibah Smith and Hokey the House Elf! Though he only gets to see them for one pensieve memory, Harry doesn't withhold his judgment of Hepzibah and Hokey tugs at his heartstrings enough to activate a newfound passion for Hermione's society, SPEW. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 10 February 2025
Alice and Martha start the Bobversation at the House of Gaunt and Coleminate at Tom Riddle's orphanage. This week's dynamic duo of characters is thick as thieves and incredibly stannable, or as Dumbledore might say, rich in detail and satisfyingly accurate. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 3 February 2025
It may be the end of Goblet of Fire's microwave minutes, but Mike Newell's magnum opus is far from over! There might not be much dialogue as Harry completes the Second Task, but Alice, Martha, and special guest Shut Up Tim still find plenty to nitpick, from ze grindylows to Hermione's sub-par impression of Fleur. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 27 January 2025
The Ronversation comes to a close as Alice and Martha discuss Ron's part in the battle of HogWARTS and his many full circle moments at the end of the seventh book.  Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 20 January 2025
Welcome back to the 75th Ronversation and the first Dragomir Despardversation! This week, Alice and Martha discuss Ron's travels with Harry to Shell Cottage, Gringotts, and HogsMEADE. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 13 January 2025
Ron's back, and so is conversation about the Ronversation! This week's episode covers the time between Ron's return and the trio's "visit" to Malfoy Manor. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 6 January 2025
Remembered Ron, have you? Well, luckily, so have Alice and Martha as they return to the seventh book Ronversation for the first time in a few weeks. This episode spans from Ron's splinching to Ron's departure and finally, Ron's return. Ron may reach a low point this episode, but his classic one-liners reach a high point. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 30 December 2024
As 2024 comes to a close, we are back to celebrate the holiday season Potter-style. First, Alice and Martha are joined by special guest Shandy to cast A Christmas Carol with Wizarding World characters. Up second (00:32:26), the sisters Take Five on the Christmas classic Jingle All the Way, with special guest Shut Up Tim (@ShutUpTim). And finally (01:28:30), Alice and Martha rate Harry Potter themed gifts according to their own unique rubric! Thank you so much for listening to the show. We wish you a wonderful holiday season! If you enjoyed today’s show, please consider supporting us on Patreon (www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters)!
Transcribed - Published: 23 December 2024
Special guest Shut Up Tim is back to discuss the Second Task with Alice and Martha. Neville might have killed Harry Potter, but the "treasures" are the real victims in this five minutes! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 16 December 2024
Alice and Martha cover Ron's arc in the time the trio spends after leaving the Burrow up through their adventures at the Ministry. From hugely significant symbolism to whether or not Gamp's Law applies to clothes, the Ronversation continues to break new ground in Harry Potter discourse! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 9 December 2024
Alice and Martha begin Ronversing about Ron's arc in the seventh book, discussing events leading up to the trio's departure from the Burrow. Did Ron really not know if Harry had a tattoo? What exactly is a ghoul? All your most pressing questions will be answered! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 2 December 2024
Take a trip into the Pensieve and all the way down to Whoville this week! But is it the same Whoville as the Grinch visits? Find out all this and more, including who the podcast's resident sour kangaroo is. In this series, Alice and Martha reminisce on shared memories, inside jokes, and experiences reading both classic and lesser-known children’s books, including favorite segments such as Quora Question of the Week, and Sorting Hat! Take Fives and character studies will continue, with this new episode format being added to the rotation with the other two formats. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 25 November 2024
And just like that, the sixth book Ronversation comes to a close, as Alice and Martha discuss Ron's relationships with his family, Luna, and Hagrid, as well as the victims of his bullying (including poor Sir Nicholas!), and his role in the canonicly titled "Battle of the Astronomy Tower." Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 18 November 2024
Alice and Martha continue the Ronversation, discussing Ron's plots with Quidditch and school as well as his relationships with Snape and Slughorn. There's a lot or rewinding, apparating, and confunding moments this week, and there's still another full episode of Ron in the sixth book before the sisters will begin the final eulogy on Ron. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 11 November 2024
Even thought last week's show would have been the perfect ending point for the show, Alice and Martha decide to return to finish eulogizing Ron his relationships with girls in the sixth book! Won-won may not make Madam Rosmerta laugh, but at least he's amazing with apparating and faking sleep in the Hospital Wing! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 4 November 2024
It's endless brat summer as Alice and Martha keep the Ronversation going, discussing Ron's relationships with girls in the sixth book. This podcast probably can't pass the Bechdel test, but we all know you can't get enough of it! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 28 October 2024
Alice and Martha move the Ronversation to book six Ron, starting with his relationship with brat Harry! Hopefully this episode will have you guffawing as much as the boys when Harry levicorpuses Ron! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 21 October 2024
Special guest Shut Up Tim joins Alice and Martha to break down the next five minutes of Goblet of Fire, in which Harry gets ogled by his forty-year-old twin, Moaning Myrtle. So, if you're anything like Tim, settle into a nice relaxing bath and spend the next hour and a half doused in this riveting discussion! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 14 October 2024
Alice and Martha conclude the fifth book Ronversation, but don't worry, there's still a good 6-8 episodes left to properly eulogize Ron! This week's discusison covers Ron's relationships with his family, Luna, and, most importantly, Sir Nicholas! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 7 October 2024
The Ronversation continues as Alice and Martha focus on Ron's relationship with Hermione in the fifth book. Even though they're always having a go at each other and driving Harry mad, Ron and Hermione might actually be more of a team than ever before. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 30 September 2024
Alice and Martha are once again joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to discuss another brilliant five minutes of Mike Newell's magnum opus! Hermione chastises the boys, Harry enters a REM cycle in record-breaking time, and Alfonso's influence helps move the film along. Viktor might not be particularly loquacious, but luckily for you, the sisters are! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 23 September 2024
Alice and Martha resume their Ronversation about Ron's relationships with two of his closest mates, Harry and Quidditch (talk about a cute name!). And even though it's a Ron character study, listen to find out just how little Ginny really is, and what Malfoy might have pursued as a career in another universe. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 16 September 2024
It's onto the fifth book and Alice and Martha may be *genuinely* entering their Ron stan era as they discuss his friendship with Harry! He might drive Harry mad with all his rowing with Hermione, but in the end, these two best mates will always come around for each other! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 9 September 2024
The fourth book Ronversation continues as Alice and Martha discuss Ron's relationships with many extremely important side characters. Pigwidgeon Xes madly, Fleur uses her veela charm, and Krum looks really grumpy every time the sisters rewind back to the Quidditch World Cup. Next week, it's onto the fifth book! Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 2 September 2024
Alice and Martha continue Ronversing about Ron in the fourth book, this time focusing on his relationships with Hermione and his family. Between his disparaging attitude about SPEW and his disdain for "Vicky," it's pretty clear Ron knows what he's doing when it comes to impressing girls he cares about. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 26 August 2024
Find out who's a crazy elf, a carefree ogre, a unicorn, and a hairy troll as Alice and Martha are once again joined by special guest Shut Up Tim to recap the next five minutes of Goblet of Fire! Harry and Ron are the ultimate party poopers in this segment, the Patil twins find their acting groove, and Flitwick crowdsurfs, possibly against his will. Please consider supporting us on Patreon! www.patreon.com/realweirdsisters New episodes are released every Monday and special topics shows are released periodically. Don’t forget to subscribe to our show to make sure you never miss an episode!
Transcribed - Published: 19 August 2024
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Alice Asleson & Martha Krebill, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.