The Jackie and Laurie Show

This week's episode Jackie (@jackiekashian) and Laurie (@anylaurie16) is gonna tell you three stories at once. One story about writing against the cruel white page. Another story involves sequin dresses and “cabaret” comedy. And the last, well, the last isn't actually a story, it's just show dates...

Transcribed - Published: 3 June 2026

This week’s episode isn’t coming out so much as escaping! Through tech errors and spiritual erosion we still bring you the kind of inside info you can’t get anywhere else. For example, were you aware that there is an Olympics specifically for people who use steroids? Do you think that exists and Laurie Kilmartin doesn’t take a look? Plus, Jackie’s new notebook is already filling up. Notebook Tip: You want some good scratchy paper. Plus, you know you’re a comic when you know where to park.

Transcribed - Published: 27 May 2026

Transcribed - Published: 20 May 2026

This week, the show is almost undone by an Alexa! But the podcast prevails, and as a reward, we learn Laurie's (@anylaurie16) bunions have returned with a vengeance! She's been self-consciously wearing some off-brand Crocs to ease her pain. Jackie (@Jackiekashian) is largely offended that Laurie is denying herself name-brand Crocs. Laurie also confesses her lack of a palate, a fact Jackie admits she already knows, simply by seeing any food she's ever eaten or described...

Transcribed - Published: 13 May 2026

This week on the show the ladies are in fine form as they chat about their week in comedy. Jackie (@jackiekashian) is considering adding balaclavas to her merch menu. Seems like a future proof product. Jackie also tries to be pro-Laurie (@anylaurie16) and it comes of feeling more creepy than supportive. Plus, if you join the choir it makes the mass shorter, and at a three hour Armenian mass, you're always looking for ways to tighten up.

Transcribed - Published: 6 May 2026

This week on The Jackie and Laurie Show, the ladies are feeling nostalgic. They also explore an interesting conspiracy explaining why the American people are getting dumber. Plus, Laurie (@anylaurie16) tells Jackie (@jackiekashian) about the places she'd like to live once she's ready to die...

Transcribed - Published: 29 April 2026

A five minute preview of the 2026 MaxFunDrive bonus episode. Guys, it's the chili episode.

Transcribed - Published: 29 April 2026

This week on the show, we are into week one of the 2026 MaxFunDrive! Jackie (@jackiekashian) discusses how a recent seminar on the algorithm hurt her head. Laurie (@anylaurie16) points out that if you can surive references 4 through 8, the 9th call back will be the funniest one. Plus, next time you find yourself in Germany, greet the locals with a friendly “our shoes are the same!”

Transcribed - Published: 22 April 2026

This week on the show, Laurie (@anylaurie16) laments not getting to enjoy the cute little city of Wilmington, Delaware. Jackie (@jackiekashian) reveals her secret to getting over jet lag. (Spoiler: It's sleeping.) Plus, there are things in this country that happen way more than voter fraud, but no one wants to have those conversations...

Transcribed - Published: 15 April 2026

This week Jackie is on assignment in Berlin. You know what that means? That's right! Laura House (@imlaurahouse) is back to join Laurie (@anylaurie16) for a chat about comedy and everything else. We discuss why you should be nice to people if your name could have a cruel nickname that rhymes with your real name. Laurie, your friendly neighborhood front porch voyeur, wants you to understand this is a one way relationship. This is her house. Stop looking. Plus, what the world needs more of right now is more trumpet?

Transcribed - Published: 8 April 2026

This week on the show Jackie (@jackiekashian) and Laurie (@anylaurie16) are fresh off their MaxFun Drive “How to Make Chili” bonus episode. Luckily there is still plenty more to talk about. Laurie is planning a “Big Chill Weekend” with her sister, where they can process why they turned out they way they did. We also learn that it is fundamentally impossible for Jackie to break news to Laurie because Jackie is literally the last person to know...

Transcribed - Published: 1 April 2026

This week on the Jackie and Laurie Show, Ms Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) defends some of the better ideas of the Catholic Church, specifically padded kneelers. Why pray with shin pain? Meanwhile, Jackie (@jackiekashian) is dealing with siblings attempting to correct inaccuracies in her bits. It's this kind of electrifying content that makes our patreon a bargain at $82 a year!

Transcribed - Published: 25 March 2026

This week on the show we get some fun stories of Laurie's night at the Oscars. But before that, Jackie (@jackiekashian) has some questions about Pandora and Laurie (@anylaurie16) reminds her she is not a call center. Jackie tells us a tale from the heyday of her poor decision making. As if that wasn't enough we are also introduced to the “Think System” where you think you contacted a booker but didn't actually do it...

Transcribed - Published: 18 March 2026

This week, Jackie (@jackiekashian) and Laurie (@anylaurie16) answer your requests: they will live-stream making chili at a future date. Meanwhile, Jackie tries to eat dinner off mic, but when she slips, Laurie shares a story. Plus, you know it's special when people want to do your Zoom show in 2026...

Transcribed - Published: 11 March 2026

This week on the Jackie and Laurie Show, the ladies discuss the idea of control in a live show. The ways that as a comic you have control over an audience and the way that control disappears once a set gets recorded and put online. Jackie is given the chore of looking at all the analytics on her new special. Plus, Laurie is horrified that her hair is turning “MAGA Blonde”...

Transcribed - Published: 4 March 2026

This week on Jackie and Laurie we get some good nitty gritty stand up comedy talk. Laurie (@anylaurie16) laments never listening or reading back to all the transcripts of sets she has meticulously recorded. Jackie's act has some shaky comedy she'd like to tighten up. Plus, none of us like to see bald patches in our audience.

Transcribed - Published: 25 February 2026

This week on The Jackie and Laurie Show, we get more deep lore from Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) and her pageant past. Meanwhile, Jackie (@jackiekashian) assures Laurie she has what it takes to make delicous chili. Plus, the tragedy of a comedy career is all the things you never got to say while someone else was talking...

Transcribed - Published: 18 February 2026

This week on the show, forget the comics, Jackie (@jackiekashian) and Laurie (@anylaurie16) want to know what BOOKERS are in the Epstein Files. They observe the piles of vision boards that it takes to get where you need to go. Plus, with the horrors of modern world, we can now get a drones eye view of our own lives.

Transcribed - Published: 11 February 2026

This week on the show, Laurie (@anylaurie16) apologizes that she has only recently become perfect. She and Jackie (@jackiekashian) do their best to punch up the unfunny writings of Salmon Rushdie. And, as a general note, we all make mistakes in our sex career.

Transcribed - Published: 4 February 2026

This week on the show Laurie (@anylaurie16) admits that her brain is full. No more info can be added. We have reached saturation. Meanwhile, Jackie (@jackiekashian) assures those accusing her of being hormonal that she does not, in fact, have hormones. Also, if you run a boutique silicone swimming cap store, please get in touch, we would like to do a comedy show on your premises...

Transcribed - Published: 28 January 2026

Transcribed - Published: 21 January 2026

This week on the show, Jackie gives some great tips on how to add a chicken smell to the room where you're doing comedy. Meanwhile, Laurie is unable to ask the question “Where's Djibouti?” without giggling. If you're reading this the day it came out, check our zoom show tomorrow night. If you are listening to this anytime after that, thanks for stopping by... Subscribe to the podcast, and give it a 5-star rating and review to help the show move up the charts. Video for the episodes is on The Jackie and Laurie YouTube channel!

Transcribed - Published: 14 January 2026

This week, Jackie (@jackiekashian) is coming in hot and we discuss the types of things you can only say after the 30 minute mark. Laurie (@anylaurie16) tells us of her pilgrimage to the Vatican of public swimming pools. Plus, we discuss an oft overlooked comedy skill: staying out of green room pictures with cancelled people.

Transcribed - Published: 7 January 2026

This week, Jackie (@jackiekashian) continues to struggle with her feelings about jazz. This would be easier if her brain wasn't fried. Unfortunately she can't remember if she'd already done her set for the lady in the blue dress. Or what it the red dress? Meanwhile, Laurie (@anlylaurie16) gives some masterful advice on waiting three days before you make your topical joke. With the extra time and effort, you might not get fired for posting it.

Transcribed - Published: 7 January 2026

This week on the show, comedy never takes a holiday. Jackie does a gig so tired she is fighting her own mouth on stage to get the jokes out. Laurie is a-paul-d by the money people make from fighting influencers. There is also some discussion of which characters from Hogan's Heroes can get it. Plus, Laurie would like to remind everyone that no one listenes to CDs, not even you...

Transcribed - Published: 24 December 2025

This week on the show, we learn that rats have been living in Laurie’s (@anylaurie16) porch couch. Now we can look back at old episodes and reflect on the number of times Laurie was sitting on a massive rat nest. Laurie offers Jackie (@jackiekashian) a ton of information about Northern California serial killers and Jackie requests that she send her nothing. Plus, Kilmartin reflects on the way her feel for the water while swimming parallels her feel for performing on stage.

Transcribed - Published: 17 December 2025

This week on the show Jackie (@jackiekashian) ditches hotel bed for pop secret hotel couches. Laurie (@anylaurie16) points out how good Jackie is at going to lunch with people. Plus, everyone's fourth wife is very nice, but that usually means the first three are pretty pissed.

Transcribed - Published: 10 December 2025

This week's episode, Laurie (@anylaurie16) made more on a weekend of shows than she expected. Jackie (@jackiekashian) explains that, in the industry, they call that a "bump." Laurie illustrates that you can be bored without yawning. And hey, to all you sexually active young women comedians, your aunt Jackie wants to ask, "Are you having a good time?"

Transcribed - Published: 3 December 2025

This week on the show Jackie (@jackiekashian) used a medical trampoline and Laurie (@anylaurie16) would like to hear less about it. A friendly public service reminder that you have a nasal cavity and not a nozzle cavity. We hope your holidays are less stressful than getting Lasik surgery on a Murphy bed!

Transcribed - Published: 26 November 2025

This week on the show, Laurie (@anylaurie 16) realizes she is a nesting doll of Laurie Kilmartins. Some are New York comics. Some are LA comics. All need more spots. Jackie throws out a reference to Bunk Port for all our Kennedy-heads out there. Plus, great new phrase “Are you trying to vex me today?”

Transcribed - Published: 19 November 2025

This week on the show Laurie (@anylaurie16) finds peace in a pool. Jackie (@jackiekashian) makes an example out of a few good white guys. The ladies discuss the power of free pizza. They also notice some people are willing to change reality instead of changing how they think.

Transcribed - Published: 12 November 2025

This week, we have room for every story. Jackie (@jackiekashian) comments on the people of Wisconsin's thick jackets and heavy flow. Laurie gives us some updates on the great Un-Princing of Andrew. File this episode under “one of the punchy ones.”

Transcribed - Published: 5 November 2025

This has been a real “just locked your keys in your own trunk” kind of week! Laurie (@anylaurie16) recounts her odyssey back from Italy. It is a saga. Meanwhile, Jackie (@jackiekashian) finds grace at TSA moments before losing it. It is a lovely moment.

Transcribed - Published: 29 October 2025

This week we are joined by special guest host Laura House @imlaurahouse as Laurie takes a holiday. Meanwhile, in stand up, Jackie tells a joke on Comic's Unleashed that forced the audience to reach under their seat for their energy clutching pearls. Laura describes a nap as “daytime bed” and then recounts us her story of working a “comedy crawl” with four soft men...

Transcribed - Published: 22 October 2025

This week on the show Jackie (@jackiekashian) is still not depressed enough to buy Dubai Chocolate. She also complains that Laurie (@anylaurie16) has unfairly vilified her by trying to use things she says and does all the time as proof of her villainy. Also, advice on taking the “woman” spot on the paid gig? Do woman spot. Say woman thing. Collect woman check.

Transcribed - Published: 15 October 2025

his week on the show, Laurie (@anylaurie16) has been running around New York doing dem spots. Meanwhile, Jackie (@jackiekashian) has upgraded her facial blindness to include architecture, a condition she has dubbed “place-ism.” As the world continues to be a stressful place, we hope every listener gets to indulge in a tastebud fantasy this week...

Transcribed - Published: 8 October 2025

This week Jackie (@jackiekashian) and Laurie (@anylaurie16) further discuss a certain controversial comedy festival. Comics who have declined to perform at the festival have posted the potential payday the festival offered. Our ladies question how many zeros their integrity could withstand. Comedians attending are forbidden to make jokes about a country filled with comedy premises. Can anyone stay that strong for an entire festival? Plus, by the end of this episode you're going to know all about Laurie's pre-set gum ritual

Transcribed - Published: 1 October 2025

This week Laurie (@anylaurie16) is back to work! The ladies get together after an eventful week to catch up on Laurie's experience this past week at Jimmy Kimmel Live. Meanwhile, Jackie got to spend a layover in Phoenix Arizona this past weekend. Both ladies deal with people who are ruder than they are willing to be. Plus, we learn that trucks live in truck houses.

Transcribed - Published: 24 September 2025

This week on the show, lotta names in the chat folks! We learn that when Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) is behind you, she is also standing behind someone else as a shield. Jackie (@jackiekashian) only recognizes music if it played in a roller rink in the late 70s. More than anything else, we'd like to reming you that it's going to be terrible, but there's hope!

Transcribed - Published: 17 September 2025

This week on the show Jackie (@jackiekashian) and Lauried (@anylaurie16) discuss the merits of working out material by doing a show for your belongings. Despite the support a pillow or a purse can give you, Laurie still craves a road audience. Also, Jackie's dad calls the popular ride share service “Youber.”

Transcribed - Published: 10 September 2025

This week on the show, Jackie (@jackiekashian) and Laurie (@anylaurie16) discuss the delicate nature of the comedy ecosystem. Comedy was born out of the seedy world of nightclubs, so it's intentions have never been good. Despite this, there have been so many amazing and interesting comedians. Now if we could only get people to stop talking about the same 8 comedians...

Transcribed - Published: 3 September 2025

This week on the show Jackie (@jackiekashian) is wearing a bucket hat and Laurie (@anylaurie16) has some serious bucket hat envy. We return to the horrors of laser eye surgery and Murphy beds, both separate and together. Plus, spice up your evening in the San Fernando Valley by taking a trip to “The Shim”!

Transcribed - Published: 27 August 2025

This week on the show, Jackie (@jackiekashian) beats herself up about not working hard enough on her upcoming special. Laurie (@anylaurie16) is not a hero for being able to remember obscure members of the Royal Family. Also, Pike's Peak is real! Did we all, already know this!? A lot going on but one this is certain, comedy is not the problem.

Transcribed - Published: 20 August 2025

This week on the show, Jackie (@jackiekashian) is thrilled because the Pandora ads paid off! Meanwhile, Laurie (@anylaurie16) questions her optometrist's job. But she'll still deal with glasses and contacts instead of getting Lasik. There are stories. Google it.

Transcribed - Published: 13 August 2025

This week the show is loaded with passion and adventure. We learn that Laurie Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) zip-lines. We hear tale of a horse name Triple E, which also used to be Laurie's bra size! Plus, Jackie Kashian (@jackiekashian) has a message for every ripped and swole gentlemen in the world: Ladies don't want your abs, they want Mr. Darcy.

Transcribed - Published: 6 August 2025

This week Laurie takes her birthday vacation and we are again joined by The Great Laura House (@imlaurahouse). Laura and Jackie discuss an impractical right wing InstaPot for fish sticks. They promote the merits of sending friends “digital trinkets” instead of cluttering up their homes. Plus, as surprising as this may be to learn, neither Jackie OR Laura know High Fashion!

Transcribed - Published: 30 July 2025

This week Laurie (@anylaurie16) is joined by the hilarious Laura House (@imlaurahouse) for a whirlwind chat about what kind of chair they wanna die in. Laurie performed in a backyard so big it had a mezzanine but, also, she might be getting “silently unpassed” by certain clubs. Oh and hey, if you are a young person, please don't describe someone older's life as history...

Transcribed - Published: 23 July 2025

This week on the show, Jackie (@jackiekashian) explores the space between stretching the truth and lying on stage. She bravely decides to err on the side of not claiming to be a hero of 9/11. Plus, it's time for Laurie's birthday (@anylaurie16)! That means it is also almost Jackie's birthday! Happy birthday to Us and anyone else born in this particular part of the year.

Transcribed - Published: 16 July 2025

This week on the Jackie and Laurie Show, Jackie (@jackiekashian) demands an apology from the bottom of Laurie's non existent heart! Laurie (anylaurie16) does not want to live in a world where yellow watermelon are the norm. Plus, a deconstruction of “the Kyle lean” that silently occurs before breaks.

Transcribed - Published: 9 July 2025

This week on the Jackie and Laurie show, be careful Jackie (@jackiekashian), Laurie and her internet are both unstable! Kilmartin (@anylaurie16) is in New York in the summer time. There's nothing quite like the look of a New York comedy club audience in the summer. Except Hell maybe... Speaking of Hell, they also chat about the dark moment when a club has moved on from booking you...

Transcribed - Published: 2 July 2025