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Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.83.7K Ratings

Overview

In the 25+ years Janet Lansbury has worked with children and parents, she's learned a lot. She's here to share it with you. Each episode of Unruffled addresses a reader's parenting issue through the lens of Janet's respectful parenting approach, consistently offering a perspective shift that ultimately frees parents of the need for scripts, strategies, tricks, and tactics.

Janet is a parenting author and consultant whose website (JanetLansbury.com) is visited by millions of readers annually. Her work informs, inspires, and supports caregivers of infants and toddlers across the globe, helping to create authentic relationships of respect, trust, and love.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse and JanetLansbury. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

Featured in The New Yorker, recommended 'Best Parenting Podcast' by The Washington Post, The New York Times, USA Today, The Cut, Fatherly, Today's Parent, and many, many more.

Please note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only. The views and advice presented on this podcast by Janet Lansbury and her guests are based on their training and experience. Opinions are offered in good faith but do not constitute professional, psychiatric, or medical advice, neither are they intended to be. You do not have to use this information, and it should not be substituted for qualified medical expertise.

Copyright JLML Press (2024) All Rights Reserved


341 Episodes

As Our Kids Get Older - 5 Ways to Continue Building Lasting Emotional Bonds

What does respectful parenting look like as our kids get older? Where can we get advice similar to Janet's but for older kids? Janet receives these kinds of questions often and takes the opportunity to answer them in this episode. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 16 April 2024

The Magic That Makes Kids Want to Cooperate

As parents, we all experience moments when our kids just won’t go with the program – brushing their teeth, dressing for school, cleaning up their toys, going to bed (and staying there). We ask nicely, and they ignore us. Then we ask not so nicely, and they dig their heals in. Before long we’re frustration turns to exasperation, and we either get angry or throw up our hands in surrender. At a certain age, our kids are developmentally programmed to resist us no matter how much kindness and respect we show them. So, what’s a parent to do? Sometimes we wish we could just wave a magic wand. Well, the wands are on back-order, but Janet shares some magical recommendations that will make these interaction so much easier to navigate, win or lose. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 9 April 2024

Losing It - Understanding What Makes Us Snap (Encore with Elisabeth Corey)

Janet is joined by trauma recovery expert Elisabeth Corey to answer a parent’s email about her struggles to become a respectful parent. This mom says certain behaviors of her 2.5-year old daughter set her off. “I don’t stay calm, focused, kind to my child.” And she believes her own upbringing (“in no way respectful”) is the root cause of her reactions. She is overwhelmed by the responsibility of raising her child and wants to know: “What can I do to help myself?” Janet and Elisabeth consider the common underlying issues of our own childhoods and how we can recognize and heal negative cycles to become better parents.Elisabeth's work and free resources for parents are available on her site at: www.BeatingTrauma.comFor more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are available at Amazon. Also, her exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).Please visit our sponsors!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 2 April 2024

Dr. Gabor Maté on Why Parents Matter More Than Ever

Physician and author Gabor Maté joins Janet to discuss the importance of developing secure attachments with our kids and why it's crucial for us to continue nurturing these bonds into their adulthood. How do we remain our children's most trusted influences while also encouraging their natural drive toward individuation? Can we maintain our role as a primary attachment figure when our child is cared for by others? How do we help kids to develop healthy relationships with peers? What's the best way to handle exposure to digital media? Gabor addresses these questions among many others and offers suggestions for maintaining positive attachments throughout our kids’ lives.Gabor is the author of 5 books and most recently the re-issued Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers, co-authored with Gordon Neufeld, with a new chapter about how the Covid pandemic affected kids' relationships with peers and parents.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 26 March 2024

When Kids Hide Their Feelings and Reject Our Comfort

We're trying to be there for our kids, let them know we care, and give them positive, healthy messages about their feelings. What could possibly go wrong? In this episode, Janet responds to a parent who worries that when she tries to comfort her upset 3-year-old daughter, the child seems ashamed about her feelings, even angry, and yells at the parent to go away. The parent asks, "Do you have any advice for helping her to be more comfortable with feeling sad or angry?"Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 19 March 2024

Praise That Encourages Intrinsic Motivation

We can be our kids' greatest fans, and they need us to be. How do we praise them in a manner that truly encourages them? We may have heard that "good job!" or "you're so smart!" aren't the ticket. In this episode, Janet shares her specific suggestions and a simple way we can find clarity on what can be a confusing topic. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 12 March 2024

Should We Resort to Using Force?

Janet consults with a couple who feel at odds with their 4-year-old at bedtime. "She stalls, refuses or delays putting on her pajamas, brushing her teeth, getting in bed, and staying in bed." She's also uncooperative in the mornings. The parents have conflicting ideas about how they should handle her behavior and hope Janet can offer some guidance. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 5 March 2024

Tantrums, Meltdowns, and Other Intense Outbursts: My #1 Secret for Staying Calm

How do we stay unruffled when our children are anything but? It's never easy, but in this episode Janet shares the personal mindset that has helped her most, and gets SO much easier with practice. She also shares a success story from a parent who is walking through her own fears to be the parent her daughter needs. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 27 February 2024

We Don't Like Upsetting Our Kids

Do you sometimes say "yes" to avoid your child's negative reaction? You're definitely not alone! None of us wants to upset our kids, and when faced with that option, we tend to second guess our boundaries: Should I keep playing this game even though I’m busy, tired, or not in the mood? This week, Janet explores the reasons we doubt ourselves, particularly when it comes to personal boundaries, how to overcome our hesitancy, and why our kids really need us to.  Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 20 February 2024

Toddlers That Won't Go to Bed (Solutions from Eileen Henry)

Eileen Henry is a pioneering sleep consultant who for decades has helped exhausted, concerned parents guide their infants and toddlers to more restorative sleep. As Janet's guest this week, Eileen shares her wisdom and detailed suggestions in response to emails from Unruffled listeners struggling mightily with their toddlers at bedtime. A one-year-old seems to get increasingly wound up as bedtime nears, escalating to biting her mother. A 23-month-old refuses to nap. An almost 3-year-old won't separate from her parent at any time of day, calls "mommy, mommy" whenever her parent leaves her side, making bedtime impossible. Eileen offers her experienced perspective, warm support, and actionable advice. “Sleep is not a problem to be fixed,” she believes. “It is a skill to be learned.”More about Eileen and her resources at: CompassionateSleepSolutions.com, or visit her on Facebook at: Facebook.com/compassionatesleepsolutionsLearn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 13 February 2024

Raising Mentally Healthy Kids Means Letting Them Grieve

Most of us wouldn't consider it part of our job to allow the small children in our care to grieve. And yet, our lives are filled with losses—some are significant, most are minor. The way we process feelings of loss can have profound, lasting effects on our mental health and overall quality of life. In this episode, Janet shares how we can encourage our children to experience and express loss in the healthiest manner from the very beginning, starting with the first type of loss our babies experience: momentary separation from a loved one. Our response can provide them the messages and experience they need to learn to deal with loss capably and, most important of all, know loss is survivable.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books "No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame" and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google PlaySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 6 February 2024

Coping with Your Child's Possessiveness

"Mine! No, he can't touch that!" Does this sound familiar? No worries. In their early years, children commonly go through phases of possessiveness that can seem totally unreasonable and extreme. They may want everything their sibling or peer shows interest in and try to take it. They refuse to share.In this episode, Janet explains why this behavior actually makes sense and what we can do to help kids pass through these phases readily and in a healthy manner. She illustrates by addressing a question from a parent about his 5-year old’s incessant impulse to protect his territory and possessions from his baby brother. While he and his wife try to maintain an understanding, respectful approach to the behavior by acknowledging his feelings and his space, they're perplexed by their son's demands which seem unreasonable and often nonsensical. Worse, he can act aggressively toward his sibling, which is alarming. Janet offers specific advice and verbal examples for handling “mine” and other controlling behavior between siblings and peers.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 30 January 2024

How an Angry Mom, Hating Parenting, Found "Immediate Success"

A parent writes that with her firstborn, she had listened to Janet’s advice and used many of her parenting methods with great success. To her surprise and relief, motherhood was relatively easy, and “I had friends comment how amazing I was as a mother.” After the births of her second and third child, however, things deteriorated. Tantrums, fighting, screaming, hitting, throwing, and all the typical toddler behavior. Gradually, she found herself yelling, threatening, using time-outs, and even spanking. She says she felt terrible and hated her life. As a veteran with 4 deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, she says ironically, “That life was easy. Being a mom is hard.” Recently, however, she remembered “Unruffled” and the experience she had with her firstborn. She started devouring episodes and says that it all started coming back to her. Her letter describes how she adopted a new perspective and applied Janet’s methods and advice immediately—with miraculous results. “It has been an amazing shift in the household ever since I have adopted this approach… so many more hugs and them telling me they love me.” Janet uses this parent’s hopeful letter to illustrate how small alterations to our interactions, and especially our perspective, can transform our relationship with our kids and bring the joy we deserve to the parenting experience. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 23 January 2024

Every Child, Even a Tiny Baby, Deserves Time On Their Own (with Hari Grebler)

Do all human beings, even our babies, need time to themselves—freedom to make choices, initiate activities, think their own thoughts? In this episode, Janet and her special guest Hari Grebler say "yes" and explain why. Hari, a Magda Gerber proté​gé, was Janet's first parenting teacher. Thirty years later, Hari continues to introduce parents in her parent-infant classes to a new perspective—inspiring them to trust and become more attuned to their babies and to develop safe play spaces for them to freely explore at home. Hari and Janet discuss how this works and why it matters—not only for our children's healthy development (and even their sleep!) but for our mental health. Hari also addresses some of the common misunderstandings that can get in our way. More from and about Hari on her website HarisRIEStudio.com, and her Instagram page HarisRIEStudio. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 16 January 2024

Resisting, Stalling, Dilly-Dallying

Kids can wear down our patience when they seem to resist or stall us with everything we need them to do—even when we're only asking them to move through the predictable routines in their day like getting out of bed, going to or leaving school, brushing their teeth, and so on. The constant pushback and struggle make it feel impossible to stay unruffled. In this episode, Janet shares an easy-to-remember, viable alternative to the strategies, games, scripts, threats, patient waiting, or coaxing we may have unsuccessfully tried in the past (while also explaining why those responses don't tend to be sustainable). She offers examples through two letters. One parent, who resorts to eventually picking up her toddlers when they resist, shares: "My 3-year-old is getting much heavier, stronger, and faster, so the moments of resistance are becoming more difficult to overcome without struggle, and I don't know what I will do in a year or two when he becomes even faster and stronger." Another parent asks: "Is this level of dilly-dallying normal? If so, how should we deal with that? If the gentle ways don't work, threats don't work (or even make things worse in the long run), what else can we do?"Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame and Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 9 January 2024

A Secret to Helping Our Kids Achieve (Advice for the New Year)

As parents, we are prone to worry, and a common concern is that our kids don't seem motivated enough. Perhaps they aren't mastering certain skills as quickly as we think they should or could—physically, cognitively, creatively, or socially. They might seem disinterested in doing things that we feel certain they're capable of, even when we've gently encouraged them. Naturally, this confuses us. We wonder what we can do to help. In this premiere episode for 2024, Janet offers a counterintuitive suggestion for what we might be missing and how our good intentions can backfire.  Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 2 January 2024

My Daughters Weigh In on Respectful Parenting (Encore)

In this encore episode, Janet’s daughters Charlotte and Madeline share candid memories from their childhoods and consider how Janet's respectful parenting style influenced their lives as toddlers, teens, and young adults. Using questions submitted to Janet's Facebook page as their guide, the sisters discuss intrinsic motivation, emotional health, independent play, sibling relationships, screen time and more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 26 December 2023

7 Daily Reminders for Parents (Encore)

Inspired by a listener's request and just in time to make a new start in the New Year, Unruffled revisits Janet's list of daily reminders for helping parents face the challenges of their day with more clarity, calm, and confidence.For a deep and complete understanding of ALL these points and much, much more, check out Janet's No Bad Kids Course—an awesome gift for the holidays. Janet's bestselling books No Bad Kids and Elevating Child Care make such helpful, thoughtful stocking stuffers! Happy Holidays!  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcribed - Published: 19 December 2023

Making Magical Holiday Memories

No matter how we spend our holidays, we all hope to make the most of them. In this first-ever holiday episode of Unruffled, Janet offers ideas for encouraging even our youngest children to feel a part of the festivities, and perhaps be the ones to create family traditions. Janet's suggestions include thoughts on gift giving, how to frame the story of Santa Claus without "lying," and what we can do to help our little ones manage the changes in routine and overstimulation.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, and Google Play.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 12 December 2023

Angry Outbursts, Screaming, and Hurtful Words

Two discouraged, desperate families write to Janet for help with 4.5-year-olds who seem perpetually angry. These children are lashing out verbally, screaming and shouting at their parents and siblings, and seem particularly explosive at the end of the day. One parent writes that her child "seems like she is very intentionally trying to be hurtful," and adds, "It doesn't seem like she should be able to get away with treating us and her sister this way." The second family writes that when picking their daughter up from school "and the tiniest thing is not right, the screaming and shouting begins. Everything is catastrophic." Janet recommends specific adjustments these parents can make in the way they are perceiving their children's behaviors that she believes will bring relief. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com * Check out Ritual: http://ritual.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 5 December 2023

My Toddler Won't Separate or Warm Up to Anyone Else

While it's flattering to be a toddler's chosen one, being prized can become a drain when our child's dependency gets out of hand. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet for help with her 2.5-year-old daughter, who she says has always had separation anxiety and continues to need the mom's constant presence to feel comfortable and happy. Whenever this parent tries to separate, even when it's only to the next room, her toddler cries. "She is never soothed or comforted by other family members (even her dad) and will only accept comforting from me." Janet offers a small adjustment this parent might make in her response and explains how this can help her toddler or a child of any age, even a baby, feel more trusting and comfortable when separating and in the company of others.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of their special offers. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com * Check out Cozy Earth and use my code JANET for a great deal: http://www.cozyearth.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 28 November 2023

Stop Making Mealtime a Challenge

A parent of a 27-month-old writes that her son refuses to come to the table when called and will not sit in his chair during meals. This parent says they’ve tried just removing his food when he isn't cooperating, but then “he ends up hangry… and it’s so difficult to get anything done.” So, they’ve resorted to feeding him through distractions and by following him around with food at home, in the park, and in his Yes Space while he’s playing. Eventually, he finishes a meal. Janet offers this family a shift in perspective and mealtime guidelines that not only encourage healthy eating but eliminate stress for us and our kids.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Ritual Vitamins: 30% off when you visit ritual.com/RESPECT to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription.Cozy Earth: Up to 35% off site-wide when you visit CozyEarth.com and use the code Janet.Bearaby: Try one of Bearaby's hand-knit weighted blankets. Find them on Instagram at @mybearaby and visit bearaby.com. Better Help: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to BetterHelp.com/Respect.BabyQuip: The #1 baby equipment rental service. Get $20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code Unruffled at BabyQuip.com. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com * Check out Bearaby: http://www.bearaby.com * Check out BetterHelp and use my code RESPECT for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com/ * Check out Cozy Earth and use my code JANET for a great deal: http://www.cozyearth.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 21 November 2023

When Parents Don't See Eye to Eye

We all bring different perspectives to parenting that are borne of our upbringing, culture, or religion. Sometimes, we find these perspectives clash over basic parenting issues like sleep, healthy eating, crying, behavior, to name a few. Janet’s guest this week is Melina Gac Levin, a mother, parenting educator, and founder of Pueblo (parentpueblo.com), an educational and consulting organization that focuses on providing evidence-based advice for helping couples weave their various perspectives together. Through self-reflection, collaboration, and sometimes compromise, there's hope for all of us to find common ground. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Ritual Vitamins: 30% off when you visit ritual.com/RESPECT to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription.Cozy Earth: Up to 35% off site-wide when you visit CozyEarth.com and use the code Janet.Bearaby: Try one of Bearaby's hand-knit weighted blankets. Find them on Instagram at @mybearaby and visit bearaby.com. Better Help: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to BetterHelp.com/Respect.BabyQuip: The #1 baby equipment rental service. Get $20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code Unruffled at BabyQuip.com. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com * Check out Bearaby: http://www.bearaby.com * Check out BetterHelp and use my code RESPECT for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com/ * Check out Cozy Earth and use my code JANET for a great deal: http://www.cozyearth.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 14 November 2023

When Parents Don't See Eye to Eye (with Melina Gac Levin)

We all bring different perspectives to parenting that are borne of our upbringing, culture, or religion. Sometimes, we find these perspectives clash over basic parenting issues like sleep, healthy eating, crying, behavior, to name a few. Janet’s guest this week is Melina Gac Levin, a mother, parenting educator, and founder of Pueblo (parentpueblo.com), an educational and consulting organization that focuses on providing evidence-based advice for helping couples weave their various perspectives together. Through self-reflection, collaboration, and sometimes compromise, there's hope for all of us to find common ground. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Ritual Vitamins: 30% off when you visit ritual.com/RESPECT to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription.Cozy Earth: Up to 35% off site-wide when you visit CozyEarth.com and use the code Janet.Bearaby: Try one of Bearaby's hand-knit weighted blankets. Find them on Instagram at @mybearaby and visit bearaby.com. Better Help: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to BetterHelp.com/Respect.BabyQuip: The #1 baby equipment rental service. Get $20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code Unruffled at BabyQuip.com. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com * Check out Bearaby: http://www.bearaby.com * Check out BetterHelp and use my code RESPECT for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com/ * Check out Cozy Earth and use my code JANET for a great deal: http://www.cozyearth.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 14 November 2023

Our Strong-Willed Child Is Running the Show

A parent emails Janet with the subject line: Help! Strong Willed Child. She feels frustrated, exhausted, and completely overwhelmed by her 7-year-old's unmanageable behavior that's been continuous since he was about 3.5. She and her partner have made repeated attempts to stop his rudeness (and a host of other behaviors he knows are unacceptable), to get him to follow directions, shower, dress, and even eat. Janet encourages these parents to consider the why—why is their child acting this way? And why does his behavior cause them to react as they do? Janet explains how reflecting on those questions can bring clarity and help these parents shift the dynamic with their child in a positive direction.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Ritual Vitamins: 30% off when you visit ritual.com/RESPECT to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription.Cozy Earth: Up to 35% off site-wide when you visit CozyEarth.com and use the code Janet.Better Help: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to BetterHelp.com/Respect.BabyQuip: The #1 baby equipment rental service. Get $20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code Unruffled at BabyQuip.com. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com * Check out BetterHelp and use my code RESPECT for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com/ * Check out Cozy Earth and use my code JANET for a great deal: http://www.cozyearth.com * Check out Ritual: http://ritual.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 7 November 2023

Is Stating a Consequence Threatening?

From Janet's inbox: A parent wonders if reminding her 3-year-old of negative consequences to his uncooperative behavior is the same as using threats or manipulation. She writes that her goal is not only to help him move through transitions with less pushback, but to learn the concept of time, how to manage it, and to feel empowered to make choices and achieve his desires. Janet offers her thoughts on the differences between threats, consequences, and punishments, and suggests minor adjustments this family can make to better enable their goals. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:BabyQuip: The #1 baby equipment rental service. Get $20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code Unruffled at BabyQuip.com.Ritual Vitamins: 30% off when you visit ritual.com/RESPECT to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 31 October 2023

Consequences vs Threats vs Punishments

From Janet's inbox: A parent wonders if reminding her 3-year-old of negative consequences to his uncooperative behavior is the same as using threats or manipulation. She writes that her goal is not only to help him move through transitions with less pushback, but to learn the concept of time, how to manage it, and to feel empowered to make choices and achieve his desires. Janet offers her thoughts on the differences between threats, consequences, and punishments, and suggests minor adjustments this family can make to better enable their goals. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:BabyQuip: The #1 baby equipment rental service. Get $20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code Unruffled at BabyQuip.com.Ritual Vitamins: 30% off when you visit ritual.com/RESPECT to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 31 October 2023

Caring for Our Children and Ourselves in Tragic Times

Janet shares words of support. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 24 October 2023

When Our Kids Are Scared

How can we help our kids overcome their fears? Most of us have the instinct to provide comfort with messages like "don't worry, you're safe, it will be alright." In this episode, Janet explains why our children often need more than our reassurance, even when their fears seem unreasonable or overblown. The key: validating and encouraging each child's intuitive process. Janet provides details by responding to notes from three families who have concerns about their children's seemingly irrational fears.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:BabyQuip: The #1 baby equipment rental service. Get $20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code Unruffled at BabyQuip.com.Ritual Vitamins: 30% off when you visit ritual.com/RESPECT to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription. Our Sponsors: * Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 17 October 2023

Encouraging Kids To Be More Assertive

Most of us hope that as our children venture out into the world, they'll possess enough innate assertiveness to set boundaries and navigate the common struggles of childhood like toy taking, unwanted roughhousing, unkind words, bullying. When our kids don’t stand up for themselves, it’s easy to assume that their lack of assertiveness is derived from a lack of self-confidence. Janet doesn’t believe that’s necessarily true and responds to two emails from listeners who are concerned about their children’s seeming inability to assert themselves in social situations. One parent describes her son being bullied on the school bus. Another says her daughter’s friend is clingy, bossy, and controlling, and this parent doesn’t believe her child has the self-confidence to set a boundary. Janet addresses each situation and offers advice for how the parents can help in the most effective manner. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:BabyQuip: The #1 baby equipment rental service. Get $20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code Unruffled at BabyQuip.com.Ritual Vitamins: 30% off when you visit ritual.com/RESPECT to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 10 October 2023

How to be Strong Enough to Make the Really Big Changes

Our young kids are adaptable, so it's always possible for us to change routines, rules, and behavior patterns that we decide are no longer beneficial for us or them. Problem is, our kids are bound to object— loudly, vociferously, perhaps relentlessly—when these changes aren't their idea (which they seldom are). Our new plan may be met with whining, crying, screaming, even tantrums. And since we've played a central role in allowing our family's habits to take root, it’s natural to feel uncertain or even guilty for introducing new boundaries. As an insightful parent concerned about her children's excessive TV use writes: “Though I fully believe that changing our strategies and habits will improve our lives and relationships, taking these steps is so hard that I find myself just doing the usual thing and beating myself up about it instead of doing anything different.” Another parent writes that she feels trapped by her toddler's refusal to play without her presence, but she's afraid to make changes because she's uncomfortable with upsetting him: “I feel I’m stumbling and, in the process, feel myself losing the joy of parenting.” Janet offers ideas for helping parents find the perspective and strength they need to make changes for the better.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Ritual Vitamins: 30% off when you visit ritual.com/RESPECT to start Ritual or add Essential For Women 18+ to your subscription. Our Sponsors: * Check out Ritual: http://ritual.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 3 October 2023

Struggles with Independent Play

Self-directed play is a gift that keeps giving with profound benefits for every aspect of our children's development. As an added bonus, nurturing our child's ability to self-entertain affords us the occasional much-deserved break. So, cultivating independent play and establishing it as a habit is well worth the effort. Unfortunately, no matter how early we start noticing, valuing, and then encouraging our children's inner-directed play choices, there can be setbacks along the way. In this episode, Janet responds to emails from parents who describe their own setbacks. One parent shares how her 14-month-old flits from toy to toy, then suddenly announces she's "done!" and cries until the parent removes her from the play area. She's also begun demanding to be “done” with car rides and walks in the stroller. Another parent shares that her 8-month-old, who previously reveled in his play time and entertained himself for long periods, has lately become angry whenever there's a gate between them, even when she's doing chores right next to him on the other side. Janet shares insights for encouraging self-directed play and suggests ways these parents might help their kids get over their respective humps.Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Acorns: Start saving and investing for your future today. Go to Acorns.com/unruffled. Our Sponsors: * Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/ Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 26 September 2023

Mean Words, Aggressive Behavior, Stalling, and Other Signs Kids Need Our Help

Janet responds to several messages from parents who feel stumped as to how to respond effectively to their children's behaviors. A 4-year-old has been lashing out at his mom and schoolmates. A kindergartner calls her brother "stupid.” Another kindergartner can't pull herself together to get to school on time without her mother doing 95% of the work. Janet offers general guidelines for responding to unsettled children and, more specifically, how her suggestions can be applied to easing the behavior issues in each of these scenarios. Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Acorns: Start saving and investing for your future today. Go to Acorns.com/unruffled.BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to BetterHelp.com/Respect. Our Sponsors: * Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/ * Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/ Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 19 September 2023

Meltdowns That Keep Happening, Even When We're Doing Everything Right

A parent writes that she's feeling helpless and desperate about her 3-year-old's frequent, intense meltdowns, which sometimes last up to an hour. This mom says they usually "relate to control and power struggles where he tells me or my husband to do something." And although she remains calm, responds with empathetic words, assures him that it's okay to be mad, offers hugs, and tries to acknowledge his feelings, nothing seems to help. Often her responses seem to make him angrier. Understandably, she eventually loses her patience. "I will likely end up screaming at him because I literally can’t handle his screaming at me any longer, and then I feel the weight of the guilt for yelling at him..." Janet offers a slight shift in the parents' perspective and subtle adjustments they can make to their approach that she believes will help their spirited son move through his emotional flare-ups more easily. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:K12 Powered Schools: Tuition-free online accredited public schools for kindergarten through 12th grade at: K12.com/UNRUFFLEDAcorns: Start saving and investing for your future today. Go to Acorns.com/unruffled.BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to BetterHelp.com/Respect. Our Sponsors: * Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/ * Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/ * Check out Stride K12: K12.com/UNRUFFLED Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 12 September 2023

Raising Motivated, Self-Confident, Less Stressed Kids in an Age of Anxiety (with Dr. William Stixrud)

Janet’s guest is Dr. William Stixrud, a clinical neuropsychologist and co-author of The Self-Driven Child: The Science and Sense of Giving Your Kids More Control Over Their Lives. Bill Stixrud's decades of experience counseling children and their parents have led to conclusions that complement and support Janet's own parenting philosophy, especially topics such as encouraging self-confidence, intrinsic motivation, and inner-directedness. And since many of Bill's clients have been with him from childhood through adolescence and into adulthood, he has the benefit of seeing the results of his practice. Bill and Janet discuss the value of giving our kids opportunities to make choices, discover and pursue their passions, and the challenges and benefits of being a nonanxious presence (because our "calm is contagious").Dr. Stixrud is the founder of The Stixrud Group, a member of the teaching faculty at Children’s National Medical Center, and an assistant professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the George Washington University School of Medicine. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Acorns: Start saving and investing for your future today. Go to Acorns.com/unruffled.BetterHelp: Get 10% off your first month of therapy by going to BetterHelp.com/Respect.Ritual: 30% off your first month of Symbiotic Plus at Ritual.com/respect. Our Sponsors: * Check out Acorns: https://www.acorns.com/ * Check out BetterHelp : https://www.betterhelp.com/ * Check out Ritual: http://ritual.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 5 September 2023

How to Connect with Your Upset Child, Even When There's More Than One

Janet responds to a parent with a toddler and four-year-old who struggles to connect with her kids individually, and neither reacts well when the other is getting mom’s attention. For instance, she says when she tries to give her older son some lap time, “my 18-month-old clearly gets jealous and starts squealing, attempting to climb on me, hitting his brother.” She’s wondering if it’s possible to really connect with either child when both are upset.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Go to K12.com/UNRUFFLED today to learn more and find a tuition-free K12-powered school near you. Our Sponsors: * Check out Stride K12 and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: https://www.stridelearning.com/who-we-serve/k12-parents-students.html Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 29 August 2023

Problems with Punishments (Described by a Parent Who Used Them) with Michelle Kenney

As a teacher, Michelle Kenney used punishments and rewards to motivate and manage children's behavior in her classroom. Then she became a mom. When her second daughter was born, her first child began exhibiting the typical behavior of an older, displaced child. She talked back, threw tantrums, and at one point became dangerously rough with her little sister. Frustrated and worried, Michelle’s instinct was to discipline her daughter with yelling and punishments, but she soon found that this approach was having the opposite effect and only driving a wedge between them. Introduced by chance to a gentle parenting coach, Michelle was eventually able to see her daughter’s behavior through a more empathetic lens. That changed everything. “It’s such a beautiful thing,” she says, “Having these good, connected relationships… I know they feel safe, and I never felt that way when I was growing up.” Michelle is now a parent coach and shares her experience, inspiration, and knowledge in her new book Unpunished. Michelle's contact information and parenting resources are available at peaceandparentingla.com.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Go to K12.com/UNRUFFLED today to learn more and find a tuition-free K12-powered school near you.The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: TLN.care/unruffled Our Sponsors: * Check out Stride K12 and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: https://www.stridelearning.com/who-we-serve/k12-parents-students.html Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 22 August 2023

Teaching Kids About Personal Space

Toddlers and preschoolers are driven to learn everything about their world, and they are particularly intrigued by the people in it: peers, family members, kids, grown-ups, and most of all their parents. A key aspect of their socialization is learning about personal boundaries, understanding how to assert theirs and respect those of others. They need our help with that. In her response to a parent's question about her 2.5 year old hitting children who invade his space, Janet explains how we teach these invaluable lessons and why they matter. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Go to K12.com/UNRUFFLED today to learn more and find a tuition-free K12-powered school near youRitual's Hyacera - Get 30% off during your first month. Visit ritual.com/RESPECT The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: TLN.care/unruffled Our Sponsors: * Check out Stride K12 and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: https://www.stridelearning.com/who-we-serve/k12-parents-students.html Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 15 August 2023

Fears Around Starting School

A parent writes that her 5-year-old is afraid to start kindergarten. Though she’s sympathetic that this is a big transition for her son, as he’s never been cared for by anyone but his grandparents or a cousin, she’s recovering from breast cancer and also has a two-year-old, so she needs this to work. While she and her husband both try to validate his feelings and talk about the fun parts of school, he ends up whining and breaking down, saying he isn’t going to like it and doesn’t want to go. She’s struggling and admits, “I have no words and don’t know the right thing to do or say.”Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Ritual's Hyacera - Get 30% off during your first month. Visit ritual.com/RESPECT Get 15% off the purchase of a Toniebox at: us.tonies.com/Unruffled$20 off your Babyquip reservation of $100 or more with code UNRUFFLED at babyquip.com. The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: TLN.care/unruffled Our Sponsors: * Check out Ritual: http://ritual.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 8 August 2023

Parent Traps

Kids seem to have a sixth sense when it comes to detecting our vulnerabilities as parents. And as adept learners and explorers, they can't help but keep pressing the buttons they discover in us. It can be easy for us to get stuck in an uncomfortable, unproductive cycle.Janet shares two recent interactions she's had with friends who are concerned about disconcerting new tendencies they've noticed in their children. One parent says her daughter is portraying herself as a constant victim, blaming others for every mishap, even for her own errors and misdeeds. Another writes that when her son is in tantrum mode, she gently stops him from hitting and kicking, but afterwards, he complains that she is “pushing him.” He remains angry and shouts, “I don’t love you!”Janet identifies the common thread that could be causing these parents to doubt themselves and describes several additional examples parents have shared with her that fit this pattern. She offers suggestions for understanding and approaching these situations in a manner that ultimately curtails them.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Get 15% off the purchase of a Toniebox at: us.tonies.com/Unruffled$20 off your Babyquip reservation of $100 or more with code UNRUFFLED at babyquip.com. The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: TLN.care/unruffled Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 1 August 2023

Healing Our Perfectionism (with Emma Nadler)

Emma Nadler is a psychologist, author, and parent whose life was changed forever when doctors informed her that her second child, Eva, had a rare genetic condition. As she became familiar with the complexities of her daughter’s diagnosis, Emma had to confront her preconceptions of motherhood, self-judgment, and especially her tendency toward perfectionism. In her conversation with Janet, she describes her complex journey through grief, joy, and loneliness as she navigates her unexpected life. Throughout, she shares a powerful message of acceptance when life doesn’t go as planned. Emma's memoir "The Unlikely Village of Eden" is available wherever books are sold, including Amazon.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Get 15% off the purchase of a Toniebox at: us.tonies.com/Unruffled$20 off your Babyquip reservation of $100 or more with code UNRUFFLED at babyquip.com. 10% off your first month at BetterHelp: BetterHelp.com/RESPECT. The Lactation Network. Just because lactation is natural doesn't mean it's easy. Visit: TLN.care/unruffled Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 25 July 2023

What Science Says About Respectful Parenting (with Anya Dunham, PhD)

When scientist Anya Dunham was expecting her first baby, she decided to take a deep dive into the science behind various parenting techniques and philosophies. She was particularly drawn to the ideas Janet shares from the work of Magda Gerber and Emmi Pikler, because they complemented her own intuition. Anya joins Janet to discuss her research, how it supports the tenets of respectful parenting, and how parents can trust both science and their own intuition in the parenting experience. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:Get 15% off the purchase of a Toniebox at: us.tonies.com/Unruffled$20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code UNRUFFLED at babyquip.com. 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV and use code UNRUFFLED at checkout. 20% off Ritual Vitamins during your first 3 months by going to ritual.com/RESPECT. 10% off your first month at BetterHelp: BetterHelp.com/RESPECT. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 18 July 2023

Our Child Won't Listen

The parent of a 4-year-old says he and his partner “have done the best we can to follow the principles of positive parenting,” but their boy has been refusing to follow instructions and often seems to ignore them entirely. His behavior is unsafe around their toddler and newborn, so this couple is struggling to remain calm and respectful. Janet offers them some insights and strategies to connect with their son and hopefully bring some peace to the household. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:$20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code UNRUFFLED at babyquip.com. 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV and use code UNRUFFLED at checkout. 20% off Ritual Vitamins during your first 3 months by going to ritual.com/RESPECT. 10% off your first month at BetterHelp: BetterHelp.com/RESPECT. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 11 July 2023

When Our Kids Reject Us (A Step-By-Step Response)

A single mom writes that her spirited five-year-old “has found a new voice and physicality” lately, calling her names, hitting, and taunting her “to try to get a rise." This mom attempts to remain unruffled and contain her anger and sadness during these episodes, but she's wondering if her controlled response is making matters worse. Janet offers six steps for responding to her son in a more connected manner that she hopes will alleviate the behavior. She then applies these same steps to two other situations where parents describe how their kids are rejecting their efforts to engage and saying hurtful things: One whose toddler daughter is grieving the recent loss of her grandmother; another whose 6-year-old daughter reacts to her mother’s corrections with self-loathing statements like "I"m stupid, I don't want you to love me, I'm just the worst." Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:$20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code UNRUFFLED at babyquip.com. 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV and use code UNRUFFLED at checkout. 20% off Ritual Vitamins during your first 3 months by going to ritual.com/RESPECT. 10% off your first month at BetterHelp: BetterHelp.com/RESPECT. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 5 July 2023

How To Help a Frustrated Child

It’s common for young children to get frustrated as they're practicing and mastering new skills. As loving parents, it can be challenging to resist our urge to quell these feelings. We might try to talk our kids out of their frustration, or even complete the task ourselves. In this episode of Unruffled, Janet advises a mom who writes that her otherwise capable, confident two-year-old is easily frustrated. How can she respond in a manner that helps him develop more patience?Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:$20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code UNRUFFLED at babyquip.com. 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV and use code UNRUFFLED at checkout. 10% off Ritual Vitamins during your first 3 months by going to ritual.com/RESPECT. 10% off your first month at BetterHelp: BetterHelp.com/RESPECT. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 27 June 2023

Mental Health Starts in Infancy (with Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon)

“I think families and particularly parents shy away from the term infant mental health. They think, Oh my goodness, does that mean that something is ‘wrong’ with my baby? And it does not mean that at all.” Janet’s guest is Dr. Angela Fisher-Solomon, an Infant Developmental Psychologist and RIE Associate with over 20 years of national and international experience in the Early Childhood field. Angela’s passion and the focus of her extensive work and research is building strong adult-infant/toddler relationships from birth, no matter what the circumstances. Every infant is unique, and every family dynamic is different. Angela strives to equip parents and professionals with tools to support and strengthen their relationships while nurturing each child's authenticity, resilience, and self-confidence. Learn more about Angla's work and resources at: FIOTbabiesconsulting.com.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:$20 off your reservation of $100 or more with code UNRUFFLED at babyquip.com. 20% off when you go to LIQUID IV and use code UNRUFFLED at checkout. 10% off Ritual Vitamins during your first 3 months by going to ritual.com/RESPECT. 10% off your first month at BetterHelp: BetterHelp.com/RESPECT. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 20 June 2023

Our Fears as Parents - Real and Imagined (with Dr. Tina Payne Bryson)

Becoming a parent changes us. The intense love we feel for our children makes us vulnerable to elements of their lives we don't control. Protective instincts are activated in us that we might never have known we had. From the time our babies are born, we're faced with a multitude of decisions about what we allow them to experience. Naturally, we want to empower our kids to feel capable and resilient, self-confident rather than doubtful, not anxious or fearful. But how do we know when we should let go and trust vs. say no and shield them? Are we saying no because it's too risky for our child, or because it makes us anxious? How can we manage and understand our fears? Janet's guest Dr. Tina Payne Bryson (co-author of “The Whole-Brain Child”) speaks to all of these questions with her usual brilliance and eloquence.Learn more about the resources Dr. Tina Payne Bryson offers at TinaPayneBryson.com and on her Instagram page: TinaPayneBrysonJanet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:20% off when you go to LIQUID IV and use code UNRUFFLED at checkout. 10% off Ritual Vitamins during your first 3 months by going to ritual.com/RESPECT. 10% off your first month at BetterHelp: BetterHelp.com/RESPECT. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 13 June 2023

Let Kids Choose... Except When They Can't

As parents and caregivers, most of us know that it's a good idea to let our kids make choices. Offering choice is one of the ways we demonstrate respect for children as competent people. Making appropriate choices encourages them to be decision-makers and problem solvers, helps to foster a sense of autonomy, agency and healthy control in their world. In this episode, Janet shares how we can begin offering our kids choices even as babies and how as toddlers they crave choice as an expression of their burgeoning sense of self. Janet notes, however, that it can get more complicated. There will be times when offering young children even the simplest choice can seem to paralyze them in indecision. In other instances, they'll make opposing demands on us that can be confusing and infuriating. How do we navigate this? Janet explains by offering guidelines for when and how offering choices works best. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.Please support our sponsors and take advantage of these special offers:20% off when you go to LIQUID IV and use code UNRUFFLED at checkout. 10% off Ritual Vitamins during your first 3 months by going to ritual.com/RESPECT. 10% off your first month at BetterHelp: BetterHelp.com/RESPECT. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 6 June 2023

Embarrassing, Troubling, or Crazy-Making Things Our Kids Say

Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining conversations! What happens, though, when our child openly makes observations or asks questions about another person's physical appearance or behavior? Or when they become fixed on an unsettling or argumentative opinion? Janet responds to 3 emails from parents who are (to varying degrees) uncomfortable with what their kids are saying and wonder if they should do more to correct and discourage them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 23 May 2023

What To Do About Embarrassing, Troubling, or Crazy-Making Things Our Kids Say

Children are wonderfully honest about what they’re feeling and thinking, and how they view the world around them. When they feel safe with us, they tend to lead from the heart, without filters. That can inspire some eye-opening and entertaining conversations! What happens, though, when our child openly makes observations or asks questions about another person's physical appearance or behavior? Or when they become fixed on an unsettling or argumentative opinion? Janet responds to 3 emails from parents who are (to varying degrees) uncomfortable with what their kids are saying and wonder if they should do more to correct and discourage them. Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com. Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Transcribed - Published: 23 May 2023

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