Crying at Separation

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 25 March 2025

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Is it ever okay to say no to our child's requests for closeness or attention, to separate when that makes them upset? What if these requests are frequent, or even seem to evolve into a habit of unreasonable, seemingly over-the-top demands? In this episode Janet responds to two notes from parents who feel they may be in this predicament. One shares that her four-year-old "starts crying hysterically and won't calm down" if the parent doesn't acquiesce to her demands immediately. This parent understandably feels stressed. "It's getting to a ridiculous point, and the demands seem to be growing," she says. "It feels like I'm being held hostage."

The second mom shares that her two-year-old often cries when she leaves her side, even when her dad is there for her. She wonders if this is a sign her daughter is anxious and if there's something more or different the parents should be doing.

In both cases, these parents are hoping to help their kids feel more confident and secure, and Janet shares a perspective she believes will help them achieve these goals.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to Unruffled, ad-free right now.
0:05.0	Join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.
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0:30.7	Maybe you want to kick a bad habit or start a good one.
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0:38.3	If so, might I recommend Mel Robbins' latest The Let Them Theory, narrated by Mel herself.
0:45.3	It teaches you how to stop wasting energy on what you can't control and start focusing on what
0:51.4	truly matters.
0:53.0	You, listening on Audible, can help you reach the goals you set for yourself.
0:58.1	Start listening today at audible.com.uk.
1:04.7	Hi, this is Janet Lansfrey.
1:07.0	Welcome to Unruffled.
1:08.7	Today I'm going to be talking about one of the hardest things for us as parents,
1:13.2	separating from our children when they're struggling, when they're upset,
1:18.4	and they don't want us to go and they want us to be with them 24-7
1:22.0	or do all the things they want us to do for them.
1:25.2	It's very hard to see this reasonably because we tend to go straight
1:30.0	to, my child needs me and I'm abandoning them and I can't do this. And the problem with that is
1:36.4	it reads to our child that we are seeing this as something that we want to do that's wrong,
	...

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