The Help Toddlers Need With Aggressive Behavior

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 22 July 2025

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Janet responds to 3 messages from listeners who say their kids exhibit aggressive or violent behavior towards their peers, in one case "pushing, hitting, or attacking faces, sometimes without warning." While all these parents recognize that fatigue and other discomforts can contribute to this behavior, it often seems that their kids lash out for no reason at all. These parents have come to distrust their kids in social situations and are at their wit's end, worried they've done something wrong. "I feel like we have tried everything, and nothing is working. I just cry now because I don't know what I'm supposed to do." Janet offers insights that she hopes will ease these parents' minds as it helps them understand their children's behavior and respond in a manner that effectively changes it.

Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, this is Janet Lansfrey. Welcome to Unruffled. Today I'm going to be addressing three different
0:09.0	notes from parents. These are all about children that are struggling with peers, being aggressive
0:17.0	towards them in group situations. They're showing their parent that they need help,
0:23.4	that they're not able to manage these situations, at least not at that time. All these parents
0:29.6	have reached out to me because they're not sure about how to help, how much they should be
0:36.3	helping, and what that would look like.
0:40.3	So that's what I want to address today. It's really this idea that children, in this case
0:46.3	pretty blatantly, will show us when they're overwhelmed, when they need help, and they
0:52.2	show it to us through behaviors that they know are not positive
0:55.9	behaviors. Children learn very early on from the reactions they get from us, that first time that they
1:01.6	hit or push us, that these are not welcome behaviors. They learn that very quickly. So why do
1:08.7	children get stuck doing things that they know they're not supposed to be doing
1:13.1	that could be upsetting to other children or harmful to other children? And certainly don't win our
1:18.7	approval, right? Why do they do this? What do they need from us? That's what I'm going to be
1:24.5	talking about. So here's the first note. This was on Instagram.
1:29.6	Hi, I've just bought your book and it's been unbelievably insightful. My highly sensitive,
1:35.0	highly determined, almost three-year-old is really struggling at the moment. His sister arrived
1:40.9	four months ago, no surprise for the struggle.
1:44.6	When we go to public play areas, parties, soft play, etc., he seems to get completely overwhelmed.
1:51.5	He becomes angry at me if I try to help.
1:54.3	He doesn't want redirecting.
1:56.3	He really doesn't like other children, will growl at them, and generally use his body weight to shove
	...

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