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hi this is janet landsbury welcome to unruffled today I'm going to be responding to a question from a parent,

or a lot of questions from a parent. She's new to my podcast, and, well, I can certainly relate

to some of the feelings that she shares. And I think that a lot of people out there will too,

because what it is is sometimes we can get into this rhythm with our child that's just not

working.

And we don't know how to get out of it in terms of the way that we're handling their behavior.

What am I doing that's contributing to this?

And really, this parent's question is about boundaries. So hopefully I

can offer her some thoughts that will help her to break out of this pattern that's developed.

Okay, so here's the note I received. Hi, Janet. I'm new to your podcast. I came across it recently

as a puzzle piece to everything that's been going on with my now

five and a half year old daughter. She is the love of my life. But I've struggled on and off with her

since infancy for a variety of reasons. I could bring up many questions, but here are the two I most

want to raise today. What advice do you have for parents when it comes to setting good boundaries?

I've been stepping in more lately when my daughter is taking me to the mat.

For example, she's been kicking her legs and shaking her upper body in a fit if her seatbelt

is giving her the slightest bit of trouble, real or perceived, now I just say,

...