The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast

👉 Download the FREE Emotionally Healthy Leader Discussion Guide at emotionallyhealthy.org/leader —--------------------------------------------------- Most Christian leaders are taught to prioritize ministry first—leaving marriage, singleness, and sexuality in the shadows. But what if the loudest gospel we preach isn't from our pulpits, but from how we live out our deepest relationships? In this powerful episode, Pete Scazzero uncovers a profound, often overlooked truth: your marriage (or singleness) is not a private matter—it’s a sign and wonder, a living revelation of God’s love to the world. Drawing from decades of ministry, his own marriage journey with Geri, and Scripture’s radical vision for union, Pete challenges leaders to flip the script. This isn’t about managing your relationships. It’s about transforming your leadership from the inside out. If you're married, make your spouse your first ambition. If you're single, live out your calling with the same intentionality. The church will never be whole until we lead out of healthy, loving, God-centered relationships. Listen now—and join the revolution.

Transcribed - Published: 27 May 2025

📝 How Emotionally Healthy Are You? Take this Free Assessment to find out. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/mature —--------------------------------------------------- There’s no other way to lead with integrity—none—than by confronting the elephants in the room. In Part 2 of this series, I unpack the spiritual and emotional cost of avoiding the hard conversations that must happen in every church, team, and family system. I begin with a powerful parable—“The Bridge”—a vivid picture of what happens when we carry burdens that don’t belong to us. Many leaders are doing just that—overfunctioning, sidetracked, and drained—because we’ve accepted ropes we were never meant to hold. We’ll explore why ignoring dysfunctional behaviors is not compassion, it’s compromise—and how, over time, it kills mission, culture, and credibility. You’ll learn why every unresolved conflict or unhealthy pattern is not just a leadership issue, but a discipleship issue. This episode is an invitation to courage. To maturity. And to the deep peace that only comes on the other side of truth and integrity. Your leadership matters. Let’s do the hard, holy work together.

Transcribed - Published: 13 May 2025

📝 Free Church Culture Assessment: How is your church doing in these 6 core areas? https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/churchhealth —--------------------------------------------------- Leadership is hard. And confronting the elephants in the room—the inappropriate behaviors, unhealthy patterns, and unresolved tensions we all want to ignore—is even harder. In today’s episode, I’ll share why true leaders must resist the temptation to avoid these challenges, and why doing so is essential for real discipleship and healthy leadership development. You’ll hear stories from my own failures, lessons from decades of ministry, and biblical wisdom that calls us to courageous, loving leadership. We’ll talk about why confronting elephants is messy, time-consuming, and uncomfortable—but why it’s also the only way to build a spiritually vibrant, emotionally healthy community. You’ll walk away with hope, a greater sense of purpose, and practical first steps you can take right now. If you want your church culture to reflect Jesus instead of toxic patterns, this episode is for you. Don’t miss Part 2, where we’ll go even deeper into why this work is critical for your joy, peace, and lasting fruit.  

Transcribed - Published: 29 April 2025

📝 Free Church Culture Assessment: How is your church doing in these 6 core areas? https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/churchhealth —--------------------------------------------------- After decades of leadership, I’ve walked through two major successions—first as Lead Pastor of New Life Fellowship Church, and now, as President of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship. In today’s episode, I pull back the curtain on what I’ve learned about leadership transitions—not from a textbook, but from the trenches. Healthy transitions are rare. And they don’t happen by accident. They require deep inner work, Spirit-led discernment, and a long view that stretches beyond your lifetime. Whether you’re handing over a pulpit, a nonprofit, or a small group, the principles are the same. In this conversation, I share seven lessons that make—or break—a leadership transition, why emotional maturity is non-negotiable, and how Jesus models the kind of surrender we’re all invited into. This isn’t just theory. This is about stewarding your life, your leadership, and your legacy—God’s way. If you care about the future of your ministry, you need this episode. Dig deeper by going through the book Emotionally Healthy Leader. Get the book and discussion guide here. This book was written to help you lead from a deep, inner life with God.

Transcribed - Published: 15 April 2025

👉 Take the free EHD Maturity Assessment: emotionallyhealthy.org/mature —------------------------------- Most pastors and leaders are trained to preach, strategize, and serve—but few are ever taught how to lead from a deeply anchored, differentiated self. And yet, this is the foundation for every healthy team and ministry. In today’s episode, I unpack one of the most overlooked killers of team health and mission: low differentiation. Drawing from Family Systems Theory, the leadership of David and Jesus, and my own hard-earned lessons over decades, I’ll share four critical reasons why low differentiation sabotages your team—and what you can do about it. When leaders overfunction, avoid hard conversations, or build their identity on others’ approval, it fractures their soul and destabilizes the team. But when you lead from a solid self—rooted in God, not the demands around you—you raise the maturity level of everyone around you. This is the crucible of spiritual leadership: becoming yourself in Christ, for the sake of others. Listen in. It may change how you lead forever.  

Transcribed - Published: 1 April 2025

📝 Free Church Culture Assessment: How is your church doing in these 6 core areas? https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/churchhealth —--------------------------------------------------- Are you leading out of true power—or false power? Far too often, we mistake activity for effectiveness, urgency for wisdom, and influence for true authority. When we operate out of false power—power rooted in our own ambition, hurry, or need for approval—we’re actually moving backward, not forward. We might look like we’re leading well, but deep inside, something is off. Anxiety rises, peace disappears, and we start measuring success by numbers instead of names, by comparison instead of calling. In this episode, I unpack five countercultural ways to guard your heart and leadership against the trap of false power. We look at Paul’s struggle with the “super-apostles” and how weakness—not strength—is the pathway to true kingdom power. We explore why embracing slowness, humility, and deep discernment is the only way to keep your leadership aligned with Jesus. If you’ve ever felt exhausted, driven, or subtly addicted to success—this episode is for you. True power is found in surrender. Let’s learn to lead from a different kind of strength.  

Transcribed - Published: 18 March 2025

⚡FREE WEBINAR: Join us for our next webinar – How to Build an Emotionally Healthy Church from the Ground Up – https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/webinar/ —--------------------------------------------------- Too many pastors and leaders get caught in a subtle but deadly trap—chasing a form of power that looks impressive on the outside but leaves us spiritually hollow. It’s a trap Paul confronted head-on when facing the so-called “super-apostles” of his day. They flaunted their visions, eloquence, and achievements, yet Paul boldly declared that true power is found in weakness. In this episode of The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast, we begin a two-part conversation on five ways to avoid the trap of false power. You’ll discover why weakness isn’t a liability in leadership—it’s a requirement. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing more than God asked of you—this episode is for you. The way forward isn’t about working harder or proving yourself. It’s about letting God’s power be made perfect in your weakness. Listen now. And don’t forget to register for our upcoming webinar: How to Build an Emotionally Healthy Church from the Ground Up on March 12 at 4 PM ET.

Transcribed - Published: 4 March 2025

📍 DOWNLOAD FREE E-BOOK: “LeaderShift” - Discover the 8 Pivotal Breakthroughs of Emotionally Healthy Leaders  https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadershift —--------------------------------------------------- In leadership, weakness is often seen as a liability. A roadblock. Something to overcome. But what if weakness is actually the platform for God's power in your life? In this episode, we continue exploring one of the most misunderstood and countercultural truths of the gospel—God’s power is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). The world—and even much of the church—chases after strength, size, eloquence, and success. But Paul’s life and leadership tell a different story. The super-apostles of Corinth flaunted their credentials, spiritual gifts, and influence. Paul? He boasted in his suffering, his limits, his thorn in the flesh—because that was where the power of Christ rested on him. As leaders, we often think, If only I were stronger, more gifted, more influential… But what if God’s way isn’t about making us stronger but about making us weaker, so His power can be revealed? Join me as we dive deep into this paradox that could transform your leadership—and your life.

Transcribed - Published: 18 February 2025

📍 GET FREE E-BOOK: “Ancient Disciplemaking” - Your quick start guide to reclaiming the last 2,000 years of church history.  https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/ancient   Most pastors and church leaders wrestle with this question: How do we measure success if not by numbers? For the next two episodes, we’re diving into one of the most radical truths of the gospel—that God’s power is made perfect not in our strengths, but in our weaknesses. Paul lived this. He was battered, abandoned, mocked, even questioned as a true apostle. Yet, it was precisely in his weakness that God’s power was most fully displayed. This isn’t just theological. It’s deeply personal. I’ve spent my whole life trying to overcome my weaknesses. But what if they were never obstacles to success—what if they were the very platform for God’s power? Join me as we unpack this paradigm-shifting truth, straight from 2 Corinthians 10-13.

Transcribed - Published: 4 February 2025

📖 FREE E-BOOK: “Ancient Disciplemaking” - Your quick start guide to understanding the last 2,000 years of church history.  https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/ancient --------------------------- In today’s episode, we’re stepping into the rich, untapped wisdom of church history. As modern Christian leaders, many of us unknowingly skip over a critical part of our spiritual heritage—believing God’s work jumped straight from the Book of Acts to the Reformation or Azusa Street. This way of thinking has left us with shallow discipleship and an anemic church. It’s time to reclaim the “genogram” of the church. Together, we’ll explore the first 1,000 years of Christian history, learn from the four major branches of the global church, and discover how ancient practices like silence, stillness, and grief can transform the way we lead and disciple others. We’ll also address blind spots in our evangelical tradition and the immense lessons we can glean from brothers and sisters across time and culture. The past isn’t just history—it’s alive, shaping us even today. Ready to strengthen your leadership and rediscover an ancient path to disciple-making? Download our free eBook at emotionallyhealthy.org/ancient and take your next step toward a deeper, transformative faith.  

Transcribed - Published: 21 January 2025

⚡Design a RULE OF LIFE in 60 Minutes - Join us for a free 2025 kickoff webinar with Pete Scazzero and Drew Hyun on January 15th. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/ruleoflife/ --------------------------- As we step into 2025, the world around us is in upheaval—artificial intelligence is reshaping how we live and lead, cultural norms are rapidly shifting, and the pressures on the church have never been greater. Economic instability, political polarization, and spiritual apathy are not just challenges; they’re wake-up calls. In this episode, Pete Scazzero shares why adopting a Radical Rule of Life is the essential foundation for leadership in such turbulent times. Drawing on 23 years of experience with this transformative tool, Pete explains how a Rule of Life functions as a trellis, lifting your spiritual life off the ground to help you bear much fruit—personally and in ministry. Discover practical steps to design your own Rule of Life and why it’s the most important gift you can give to those you lead. Whether you’re a pastor, ministry leader, or parent, this conversation will challenge you to slow down, realign with God’s presence, and embrace rhythms of prayer, rest, relationships, and work. Don’t miss this critical start to the year. Your leadership—and your soul—depend on it.  

Transcribed - Published: 7 January 2025

⚡Design a RULE OF LIFE in 60 Minutes - Join us for a free 2025 kickoff webinar with Pete Scazzero and Drew Hyun on January 15th. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/ruleoflife/ --------------------------- In this special Christmas reflection, Pete Scazzero unpacks the powerful words of John the Baptist: “Among you stands one you do not know” (John 1:26). As we rush through the demands of the season, it’s easy to overlook the quiet, hidden ways God reveals Himself—in the ordinary, the painful, and even the mundane. Pete invites us to slow down and embrace the mystery of God’s presence in unexpected places. From a scandalous birth in a dirty manger to a hidden life in a carpenter’s shop, Jesus’ arrival defies human expectations. What if the very moments we overlook are the places where God stands closest? Through poignant stories and timeless truths, Pete challenges us to stop, be silent, and listen. You’ll learn practical ways to cultivate attentiveness in your life and leadership, discover God in life’s interruptions, and open your heart to His transforming presence—even when it doesn’t come as you expect. Don’t miss this opportunity to reflect deeply and encounter Jesus in new, surprising ways this Christmas. Listen now.  

Transcribed - Published: 24 December 2024

📣 Transform your church culture with the Emotionally Healthy Discipleship Course. Curious? Download and preview TWO full sessions from the course for FREE. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/preview/ --------------------------- In today’s episode, we’re tackling a powerful yet countercultural truth: God’s way is slow, small, and often weak—and that’s exactly why it’s unstoppable. So many of us are addicted to speed. We rush decisions, launch initiatives prematurely, and burn ourselves out in the name of productivity. But this impatience not only sabotages our leadership—it blinds us to the quiet, steady work of God. Drawing from the profound parable of the mustard seed, we’ll explore how the Kingdom of God begins small and seemingly insignificant but grows into something world-changing. Together, we’ll unpack three key lessons: the value of slowness, the power of small beginnings, and the surprising strength found in weakness. This episode is a wake-up call to embrace patience and resist the cultural obsession with instant results. Whether you’re leading a church, raising a family, or shaping your community, God invites you to align your pace with His—and trust that His plan is advancing in ways we may not see. Slow down. Listen in. Discover the mustard-seed way of leadership.  

Transcribed - Published: 10 December 2024

🎄Christmas Sermon Prep Webinar -   Join me for a FREE webinar on Dec. 5th at 2 pm ET to learn about preaching a Christmas message that deeply changes lives. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/sermonprep/ --------------------------- The truth is, you can’t shepherd numbers. You can only shepherd names. And yet, in a culture obsessed with metrics, many leaders feel trapped, measuring success by attendance, budgets, and fast growth rather than the flourishing of the people God has entrusted to them. In this episode, Pete unpacks the heart of biblical shepherding—leading with Jesus’ love, slowing down to be present, and praying over the specific names God has placed under your care. He explains how this dramatic shift, though countercultural and painfully slow, leads to a deeply transformative and spacious life for both shepherds and sheep. If you’re longing to move beyond hurried leadership into a ministry marked by patience, prayer, and personal connection, this episode is for you. Pete shares four practical ways to shepherd like Jesus and invites you to reflect: Who is on your list?  

Transcribed - Published: 26 November 2024

🕯️Christmas Sermon Prep Webinar -  Join me for a FREE webinar on Dec. 5th at 2 pm ET to learn how to craft a powerful Christmas message that deeply changes lives. (without losing your soul) https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/sermonprep/ --------------------------- In today’s episode, we’re diving into a theme that should resonate with pastors and leaders all around the world. Reflecting on the life and ministry of John the Baptist, we’ll explore how to speak with conviction and clarity amidst a world overwhelmed by fear, information overload, and shifting power structures. John’s world was much like ours—fraught with political unrest, corrupt leaders, and widespread anxiety. And yet, it was to him, a voice in the wilderness, that God’s Word came. He shows us that real leadership doesn’t come from platforms or applause but from a place of inner surrender, courage, and freedom from people’s approval. This episode will challenge you to lead with authenticity and to center your life on a slower, deeper spirituality. If you’re feeling called to renew your heart and strengthen your church’s culture in the midst of today’s chaos, join us as we learn from John the Baptist’s powerful, countercultural example. Listen in to reorient, refocus, and be inspired to become an instrument in God’s hands.  

Transcribed - Published: 12 November 2024

  🗓️ Discover the Sabbath -  Download a free e-book to learn the 4 countercultural practices of a biblical Sabbath day. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/sabbath/   ---------------------------   Today, pastors and leaders are grappling with burnout, shallowness in discipleship, and a waning passion for God’s mission. On today’s episode, I share some insights that have transformed the way I view mission and ministry—insights rooted in Celtic Christian spirituality. Geri and I just returned from a two-week journey through Ireland, where we had the privilege of meeting with pastors and church leaders in both Belfast and Dublin. This trip refreshed us in so many ways, especially in reconnecting with the powerful legacy of St. Patrick.  I believe that St. Patrick’s life and leadership are a map to rekindle the fire of mission that flows from a deep, inner life with God—an “overflowing cup” that sustains outward action. Through Patrick’s leadership, the Celtic church rooted themselves in prayer, community, and a mission-focused monastic life. In doing so, they transformed an entire nation. This is one of the missing keys that I believe will unlock passionate, world-changing mission in every member of our churches.  

Transcribed - Published: 29 October 2024

⏰ DAILY OFFICE STARTER GUIDE -  The Daily Office is an ancient practice to help you stop 2 - 3 times a day to quiet yourself and be with Jesus. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/dailyoffice --------------------------- For most leaders, success is based on numbers, influence, and impact. But the life of Elijah teaches us something different. On today’s podcast, we continue our journey in Part 2 of The Power of a Hidden Life: Leadership Lessons from Elijah. We’ll explore a profound truth often overlooked in leadership: before we stand on large platforms or lead others, our inner life with God must be well-rooted and established. Elijah’s story in 1 Kings 17-19 reveals that God shapes leaders in the quiet, hidden places—like the cave—long before the public victories. We'll dive into Elijah's time of hiddenness, fed by ravens and a widow, as God worked in his soul. These hidden seasons are critical because they teach us to lead from a place of deep connection with God, not simply from activity or impact. Elijah teaches us that success is about discerning the voice of God, not the pressures of Western values. Take a deep breath, let God care for you, and allow His abundance to overflow into every part of your life!  

Transcribed - Published: 15 October 2024

✅ DAILY OFFICE STARTER GUIDE -  The Daily Office is an ancient practice to help you stop 2 - 3 times a day to quiet yourself and be with Jesus. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/dailyoffice --------------------------- In today’s chaotic and disorienting world, where leaders face intense challenges, Elijah’s life offers us profound wisdom.  Whether you lead a ministry, organization, or family, Elijah’s hidden life with God speaks to the core of how we navigate leadership in tumultuous times. In 1 Kings 19, Elijah faced overwhelming exhaustion, fear, and disillusionment after pouring out his heart in service to God. As a fugitive, fleeing from Jezebel’s threats, he reached his breaking point—ready to give up entirely. It’s here, in the wilderness, that God met him in a way that transformed his leadership and life. God didn’t fix Elijah’s problems immediately or offer a grand inspirational speech. Instead, He invited Elijah into the stillness and silence in the cave at Mount Horeb.  In today’s podcast episode, we’ll reflect on how entering our own “caves” of silence can transform not only our leadership but also our relationship with God.   

Transcribed - Published: 1 October 2024

✅ PREVIEW THE COURSE -  Ready to introduce your church to Emotionally Healthy Discipleship? Preview our game-changing discipleship course for FREE and find the right time to run it in your church. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/preview --------------------------- As leaders, we have an internal drive to see our ministries flourish.  We have a vision for our churches, families, marriages, and cities to experience the resurrection life of Jesus. That’s why we do what we do! Also, many of us know how easy it is for our God-given ambition to be hijacked by our shadows, fears, and insecurities.  The truth is - it's possible to build a large ministry, but in the process, lose your soul. On today’s podcast, I hit this topic head-on and share with you 5 MUSTS for growing a flourishing ministry without losing your soul.

Transcribed - Published: 17 September 2024

✅ [FREE VIDEO] Learn a 5-part framework for communicating with others https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/community --------------------------- Staff meetings, like it or not, are a critical building block for an emotionally healthy church culture. Over the years, I have learned that staff meetings are a powerful opportunity to bring encouragement, clarify roles, and learn how to be with Jesus together. There are books written about how to have a productive or efficient staff meeting, but in today’s podcast, I take a different approach. I’ve identified 5 ways to cultivate emotional health in your regular meetings.

Transcribed - Published: 3 September 2024

✅ [FREE E-BOOK] LeaderSHIFT: 8 Pivotal Breakthroughs of Emotionally Healthy Leaders https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadershift --------------------------- All around the world, there is an electrical charge surging through the minds and hearts of the people we lead. Our political climate has made this another difficult, yet important time to pastor and lead well. So how do we navigate politics personally AND from the pulpit without falling prey to the common traps of both sides of the aisle? In this podcast episode (Part 2 of 2), I share what I believe are 4 invitations from God to the Church in this moment. Within these invitations are keys for us to lead with grace, steadiness, and wisdom, as we pastor our churches through this storm.

Transcribed - Published: 20 August 2024

✅ [FREE E-BOOK] LeaderSHIFT: 8 Pivotal Breakthroughs of Emotionally Healthy Leaders https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadershift --------------------------- All around the world, there is an electrical charge surging through the minds and hearts of the people we lead. Our political climate has made this another difficult, yet important time to pastor and lead well. So how do we navigate politics personally AND from the pulpit without falling prey to the common traps of both sides of the aisles? In this podcast episode (Part 1 of 2), I share what I believe are 4 invitations from God to the Church in this moment. Within these invitations are keys for us to lead with grace, steadiness, and wisdom, as we pastor our churches through this storm.

Transcribed - Published: 6 August 2024

✅ [FREE E-BOOK] LeaderSHIFT: 8 Pivotal Breakthroughs of Emotionally Healthy Leaders https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadershift --------------------------- As a young leader, I wanted so badly to succeed. I wanted to pastor a growing church, and preach the best sermons in town. I wanted to grow our ministries – bigger, better, and more influentual. To this end, I was told by leadership experts to develop my skills and competencies. I learned to preach and vision cast, to exegete the scriptures, do effective evangelism, lead staff meetings, and launch small groups. But over time these outward facing competencies became a WEIGHT that squeezed the life out of me. To make a long story short, this is what catalyzed a complete revolution in me. I knew that I (and we) needed a massive shift in our leadership paradigm. On today's podcast, we explore the GREAT SHIFT we need.

Transcribed - Published: 23 July 2024

✅ [FREE E-BOOK] LeaderSHIFT: 8 Pivotal Breakthroughs of Emotionally Healthy Leaders https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadershift --------------------------- Loss, change, and transition are all around us. Yet, one of the lesser-known practices of emotionally healthy leadership is learning how to let go and transition from one season to the next. Throughout our lives there are countless endings and new beginnings that invite us to pay attention: Closing a chapter of life, Leaving one church and joining a new one, Starting a new job or role, Moving away or into a new home, Changing relationships, Succession and release of leadership In every transition, there are gifts waiting to be discovered if we are able to slow down and reflect in gratitude. When we rush through transitions, giving little thought to what is happening, we actually miss out on the hidden ways God is trying to come to us. In this podcast, I explore this theme further and share insights on how we can navigate transitions well. 

Transcribed - Published: 9 July 2024

✅ How Healthy is Your Leadership? Take this short and free quiz to find out. //  https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadership-assessment/ ----------------------   Churches have all kinds of expectations of pastors and church leaders. There is a certain pressure that you must be able to cast vision, teach and preach, lead and inspire staff and volunteers, build teams, and keep ministry momentum in all areas. The problem? Everything on this list is EXTERNAL. Very few churches and pastors see their INTERNAL life with God as part of their job description. For this reason, we must become increasingly serious about leading from a deep inner life with God (not just gifting and skill). On today's podcast, I will share some of what I've been sharing with many pastors. How we should design every part of our lives (rest, work, prayer, and relationships) around the love of God.   

Transcribed - Published: 25 June 2024

🎯 SKILLS FOR FAMILIES: Learn a powerful 5-part conversation tool and teach your family. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/community --------------------------- It's time we dispel a myth...there are NO perfect parents. Geri and I have been parenting for 39 years, and we are still learning as we go. Every age and stage of life presents opportunities and challenges. The key is to continue in the direction of good parenting, even if you make mistakes along the way. Today, Geri joins me for part two of a podcast where we explore one of the most challenging leadership tasks on earth – emotionally healthy parenting. Together, we cover 4 critical parenting issues: Why YOU are your child's biggest problem (and what to do about that) How to create a SAFE environment in your home Why CONNECTION is more important than rules The importance of knowing your POWER with your children

Transcribed - Published: 11 June 2024

🎯 SKILLS FOR FAMILIES: Learn a powerful 5-part conversation tool and teach your family. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/community --------------------------- Today, we're tackling a relatively untouched topic on the podcast. Parenting. Why parenting on a leadership podcast? Among your many roles as a leader, one of the most important (and difficult) relationships is parents and children. The truth is – whether biological, adopted, or spiritual children, we all are called to raise up the next generation. The reality is – without deep inner work and awareness, parents always repeat exactly as they were parented. You will parent the same way unless you intentionally change your family pattern. You’ve heard the Proverb, “Train up a child in the way they should go." (Proverbs 22:6) Emotionally healthy parenting says, “Train up a parent in the way he or she should go.” Today is part one of a two-part series on the longest-lasting relationships you will lead in your entire life. This is for parents with kids of all ages - infant, adolescent, teenager, and adult.

Transcribed - Published: 28 May 2024

🎯 FREE TEAM TRAINING: Grow a healthy team culture with our team transformation videos https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/team --------------------------- One of the most difficult and nuanced callings is serving as a board member of a church or ministry. This role is both legal and spiritual, affecting the entire church culture. Very few are trained to do it well. Sadly, often it is only after a crisis or scandal that people realize the "Board" was not really functioning, trained, or doing what they were entrusted to do. But the truth is – that healthy, thriving, flourishing churches have healthy, thriving, flourishing boards. In today's podcast episode, I outline the 7 must-have qualities for building an emotionally healthy board. When your board gets these 7 things right, everyone in your church wins for the long haul.

Transcribed - Published: 14 May 2024

📺 FREE WEBINAR: Develop High-Impact Leaders in Your Church Get a roadmap to disciple the next generation of leaders. Register for the next webinar: https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/highimpact/ ---------------------------- Pastors and leaders want to make an exponential impact for Jesus. We often spend our energy on what will affect the most amount of people. So we prepare cutting-edge weekend services, craft sermons for large groups, publish social posts that we hope will have a viral reach, all while squeezing in time for people when we can. But when we look at the life of Jesus, we see that he focused his time on a few. In fact, he turned the world upside-down by concentrating his ministry on 12 men! In today's podcast, I answer common questions like "How do I choose just 3 or 12 disciples?", "Who should I be looking for? (and, who should I avoid?), and "What do I actually do with them?" This is not easy and fast work, but when we get this right, the church will be transformed.

Transcribed - Published: 30 April 2024

✅ How Healthy is Your Leadership? Take this short and free quiz to find out. // https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/leadership-assessment/ ---------------------------- The quality of the people who surround you will determine the success of your leadership. Because there is undeniable loneliness in leadership, it is ever more important that we evaluate our relationships on a regular basis. Sadly, far too many pastors and leaders choose to go it alone, or surround themselves with foolish counsel (in the form of wrong relationships) That's why in today's podcast, I explore the five types of relationships you need in your life in order to flourish as a leader or pastor. Honestly, I wish I had this list 30 years ago. It would have saved me from confusion, foolish decision-making, and unnecessary isolation!

Transcribed - Published: 16 April 2024

✅ FREE EMOTIONAL HEALTH ASSESSMENT: In 15 Minutes, Discover How Emotionally Mature You Are  https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/mature ---------------------------- In this episode, we explore a topic that's as old as leadership itself: the loneliness that often accompanies the role of leadership. From the slowness of change to the weight of difficult decisions, from the sting of criticism to the ache of betrayal, leadership can often feel like a solitary journey. But we can take heart because all throughout the Scriptures leaders have grappled with this very same loneliness.   And yet, loneliness can become destructive when it turns into isolation.    In today's episode, I share 4 critical steps that leaders must take to navigate loneliness while remaining healthy and whole.  

Transcribed - Published: 2 April 2024

📣 FREE E-BOOK: 8 Practices of Emotionally Healthy Preaching & Teaching 🌟 Learn the essential practices to deliver sermons with depth and power. https://www.emotionallyhealthy.org/preaching ---------------------------- Leadership is a crucible through which God is changing YOU into a new kind of person. Throughout your leadership journey you will be taken through a series of fires or tests from God that exists to purify you from the inside out.   In today's podcast, I share about the many tests you WILL encounter if you haven't already. If you are not prepared for these tests, you will stumble and drown in discouragement. If you are prepared for these tests, you will be transformed into the image of Christ.

Transcribed - Published: 19 March 2024

A course won't change your church. Neither will a book, a podcast, or a sermon series. So the question is, how do people truly change? This is a question every pastor and leader needs to answer. Over the years of my pastoral ministry, and even today, one thing I've noticed is how often we UNDERESTIMATE the personal time, presence, and intentionality it takes to disciple people into transformation in Jesus. True change is slow because it is relational. Change does not happen on an assembly line. Over the past several weeks on the podcast, I've shared with you the importance of reclaiming a spacious life - one that is not rushed, crammed, or overscheduled. Many leaders are coming to understand this as it relates to their PERSONAL life and walk with God. But today I want to share with you about creating spaciousness for OTHERS. I believe it's the secret ingredient our churches need to experience deep communal fruitfulness.

Transcribed - Published: 5 March 2024

As leaders, we know that PRAYER is the heartbeat of life in Christ. But often, our vision of prayer can become lop-sided, leading to a heavy weight on our shoulders. For my first 17 years as a Christian, I had a one-dimensional view of prayer. I thought prayer was a tool I was supposed to use to make God's kingdom come. So I would devote 6-8 hours a week in prayer meetings, interceding for revival and believing that unless I prayed, God wouldn't come. I thought that was what Jesus called us to. But over time I learned to see something different in the prayer life of Jesus. The gospel of Luke highlights a way of being with God that is less about striving and more about attunement.  It is true that prayer DOES require perseverance and devotion, but for reasons different than we think. In today's podcast we explore the prayer life of Jesus and what that means for us today.

Transcribed - Published: 20 February 2024

Leaders in a digital age face a unique pressure to always be in front. Our social media platforms entice us to be seen, to be recognized, and to be liked. Underneath this is a lie that to be hidden is to be forgotten, and to be unknown is to be unloved. This is why one of the greatest temptations leaders face is self-promotion.  Even Jesus faced this very temptation in the wilderness, yet rightly perceived it as a deadly trap from the evil one. Like Jesus, we must resist the many ways we are tempted to elevate our name and ministries into prominence. Is all self-promotion really sinful?  Aren't we called to reach people? How do we live and lead publicly without being robbed of joy and contentment? I address these questions and more on today's podcast episode.

Transcribed - Published: 6 February 2024

In 2024, church leaders will be sifted left and right. Mature from immature. Wise from foolish. Substantial from surface level. This I know – the most effective leaders (and the ones worth following) will draw a line in the sand and put a full stop to accepting a rushed, cluttered, and constricted life. They will reject speed, crowds, and noise in favor of a graceful, unrushed way of life. I call this lifestyle "spaciousness". It's one of the secret weapons of true spiritual mothers and fathers of the faith. On today's podcast, I explore the theme of spaciousness, making applications for how leaders can resist the way of the world, and decisively shift into a new way of life with Jesus.

Transcribed - Published: 23 January 2024

Leaders in 2024 are facing pressures and challenges greater than any other in my lifetime. Elections, wars, rumors of wars, economic pressure, global instability, scandals, artificial intelligence, etc. This may seem overwhelming, but there is a unique opportunity before us. As leaders, this will require the decision to radically re-align ourselves to God's purposes and plans in the world today. On today's podcast, I share some personal reflections on what I believe "radical realignment" looks like and then offer 3 specific invitations from God in this season.

Transcribed - Published: 9 January 2024

As we approach 2024, there couldn't be a better time to revisit your discipleship strategy. Here's why... In North America, we are ramping up towards another election year. For most Americans, this has become a time of increased anxiety, stress, and relational volatility. As a culture, we lack the tools to have difficult conversations (especially political ones) without resorting to blaming, name-calling, avoiding, and "dirty fighting." Sadly, we do this in the church as well. For the first 17 years of my Christian walk, this was all I ever knew. I simply mirrored what I learned from my family of origin. My mother yelled and screamed. My father was an appeaser who later exploded in anger. I learned to become an appeaser, which cost me dearly in my marriage, leadership, and church. For both Geri and I, we had to completely re-learn what it looks like to fight (and negotiate differences) in the new family of Jesus. We now call this skill "Clean Fighting Vs. Dirty Fighting". I'm convinced every pastor, leader, and church needs this one skill to flourish in 2024.     In today's podcast episode, my wife Geri and I share more about the ins and outs of "Clean Fighting", the final and most important skill of Emotionally Healthy Relationships. 

Transcribed - Published: 26 December 2023

We're in the thick of the holiday season – a time full of joy, yet jam-packed with people, parties, and productions. This season has a dizzying effect on everyone - but especially leaders. One temptation is to put a smile on our face while skimming over the frustrations, disappointments, and other inner workings of our souls. We have people and situations that are bothering us at a core level, but rather than leaning into difficult and heartfelt conversations, we choose instead to avoid them. When we do this, we step out of integrity. This was how I operated for years as a pastor. I had people that were getting under my skin, but no tools to communicate what I was feeling in a healthy way. I chose instead to pretend I was feeling one way when secretly I was angry. Take a moment to reflect. Is there a situation that is bothering you?  A staff member is chronically late to team meetings Your children are texting during a family meal A volunteer is saying they are doing their role, but they clearly are not A church elder or board member is living a non-exemplary life Someone dropped the ball on getting out promotions for your Christmas Eve service. Chances are, you have plenty of other examples. To live and lead with integrity, we must be able to disentangle our emotions and values so we communicate them to others in a healthy way. This is why my wife Geri and I developed a tool called the "Ladder of Integrity". It's a series of questions that we use to identify our emotions, values, and hopes. This allows us to communicate to others with clarity and kindness.   In today's podcast episode, my wife Geri and I share more about climbing the Ladder of Integrity, an essential skill of Emotionally Healthy Relationships. 

Transcribed - Published: 12 December 2023

To be an emotionally healthy leader requires many skills, practices, and rhythms. Over the last several weeks, we've explored many relationship skills that are non-negotiable for leaders. But if there is just ONE skill I'm convinced every leader must master, it's "Incarnational Listening." David Augsberger wrote, “Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person they are almost indistinguishable.” When you master this relationship skill, Your spouse and friends will feel seen and heard. Your staff and volunteers will feel like you get them. Your church will experience you as compassionate and present. Your love for others will grow exponentially. In today's podcast episode, my wife Geri and I share more about the skill of "Incarnational Listening" that is a part of Emotionally Healthy Relationships.  I want to encourage you. This is one of the toughest skills to do well, but when you stick with it, I guarantee you it will change everything.

Transcribed - Published: 28 November 2023

For the first 17 years of my Christian life, my emotional life was completely divorced from my spiritual life.  Or so I thought. When sadness, anger, or disappointment surfaced from my soul, I did not see them as gifts. As a leader, I saw my emotions as interruptions to "my real work" – moving the church forward and reaching the lost! As a result, I was not present with myself, with God, or with others. I saw my sadness as something to be overcome through prayer and Scripture. I would declare, "the joy of the Lord is my strength!" while ignoring the deep cries of my heart. The truth is that emotions never die. They are only buried alive. They always resurface, leaking into other parts of our lives and relationships.  It took a work of God for this to change in my life and marriage. When my wife Geri and I discovered the permission to explore our emotional life, it was like opening up a dam. The world went from black and white to color almost overnight. Emotionally healthy leaders see their emotions as invitations, not obstacles to the mission of God. The fruit of this journey leads to less anxiety and more freedom in our lives, leadership, and relationships. In today's podcast episode, my wife Geri and I share more about the skill of emotional discovery we call "Explore the Iceberg" in Emotionally Healthy Relationships.    Bottom line, your emotional life is a matter of life and death!

Transcribed - Published: 14 November 2023

Leaders, by definition, are captivated by the future – moving forward, making progress, and changing the world. But what many leaders fail to appreciate is that we are all anchored in our past. In other words, none of us are "blank slates". We each bring the blessings and curses of our families of origin (Exodus 20:5) into our relationships, churches, organizations, and businesses.  Emotionally healthy leaders understand that you cannot go forward without first going backward. That is why the GENOGRAM is one of the core tools in both parts of the Emotionally Healthy Discipleship Course. When I became a Christian, I believed I was a "new creation" (2 Cor. 5:17) and that I no longer needed to deal with my past. However, when I discovered the genogram tool, I found a new way to bring all of the baggage of my family of origin to Jesus to be changed.  The truth is – you cannot change what you are unaware of. In today's podcast episode, Geri and I share our history with this powerful tool and how it helped us name the reality of our past to catalyze the transforming work of Jesus in our lives and leadership. Don't miss this one!

Transcribed - Published: 31 October 2023

When was the last time someone let you down? Or can you think of a recent moment where YOU let someone else down? I'll bet the catalyst of these disappointments comes down to one thing -  unmet expectations. The truth is – unclear and unmet expectations have the power to rip apart relationships, divide staff teams, blow up families, and sink entire churches. That's why expectations are a matter of life and death! There are 4 primary ways expectations go wrong: Your expectation is unconscious. You didn't even know you had an expectation until it was violated. Your expectation is unrealistic. It is not reasonable given the person or circumstance. Your expectation is unspoken. You did not clearly articulate your expectation to another person. Your expectation is un-agreed upon. The other person never agreed to follow-through with your expectation. The good news is – this can all be remedied by learning the life-saving skill of Clarifying Expectations. On today's podcast, I'm joined by my wife Geri, as we explore the third of 8 essential relationship skills that every leader must adopt in order to love and lead like Jesus. Take a listen to today's podcast.

Transcribed - Published: 17 October 2023

Leadership can be a painful journey - especially in a church or ministry that depends on the depth and quality of the relationships within. Yet, in over 4 decades of leadership, I've found that so much of this pain is completely UNNECESSARY. Why? Because much of the pain we experience is the fruit of wrong assumptions. Assumptions are like a dragon that seeks to destroy our well-being. ·      People quit their jobs over wrong assumptions ·      Churches split over wrong assumptions ·      Couples divorce over wrong assumptions ·      Families stop talking to one another over wrong assumptions. When you and I make assumptions about others without checking them out, it’s easy to start telling ourselves stories about them in our heads that are not true. We are bearing false witness in our own thoughts, resulting in damaged relationships.  The principle is simple: NEVER assume you know what a person is thinking or feeling.      On today's podcast, I'm joined by my wife Geri, as we explore the second of 8 essential relationship skills that every leader must adopt in order to unleash the God-given voice of our people. This skill is called "STOP MIND READING", and once you learn this, it could very well save your life and ministry. Take a listen to today's podcast.

Transcribed - Published: 3 October 2023

In over four decades of leadership, I've come to the conclusion that one of the biggest gaps in our leadership training comes down to one essential skill... Creating safety where everyone around you feels empowered to communicate clearly and honestly. Without this skill, church teams remain silenced - unable to speak truth and creating the conditions for an environment of frustration, resentment, and judgement. On today's podcast, I'm joined by my wife Geri, as we explore the first of 8 essential relationship skills that every leader must adopt in order to unleash the God-given voice of our people. We'll model a powerful skill called "Community Temperature Reading" and talk about how it applies to real life leadership scenarios. Imagine leading a church where every staff, leader, and volunteer knows how to communicate clearly. Imagine a culture, where everyone feels safe to tell the truth and has the skills needed to do so. Imagine the unity that is possible when every voice is heard. Take a listen to today's podcast.

Transcribed - Published: 19 September 2023

Could you forgive someone if you knew they murdered your entire family? It sounds far-fetched. But this is the question posed in As We Forgive - a documentary about the tragedies of the 1994 Rwandan genocide and the stories of two women as they came face to face with the men who killed their families. It provoked the question - Would I be capable of forgiving my enemies like this? This is the center point of Jesus' most shocking, counterintuitive teaching - "Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you." (Matthew 5:44) In saying this, Jesus set a new benchmark for love. He turned the new world order upside down. For Christians, the key distinguishing mark of spiritual maturity is the way we love our enemies. In today's podcast, I walk through the 3 reasons our love often stops short of this measurement, and what we can do to deepen the way we love others. (Hint, this is all a precursor for where we'll be headed over the next several weeks of the podcast!)   

Transcribed - Published: 5 September 2023

Language builds culture. Recently on the podcast, I shared 5 timeless leadership axioms - portable and powerful phrases that have become adopted by emotionally healthy leaders all around the world. For example..."Jesus may be in your heart, but grandpa is in your bones". It's an easier (and more playful) way of getting at the truth that everyone is deeply affected by their family of origin, going back hundreds of years. Today on the podcast, I continue this series by sharing 5 new axioms that I believe you will find helpful. These leadership sayings are extremely useful to adopt as you build a healthy team and church culture. I pray you will memorize them, ponder them, and make space to allow the biblical truth to penetrate you.

Transcribed - Published: 22 August 2023

Movements with longevity are sustained through shared, easily understood language. This most often comes through the development of axioms - short, memorable phrases that capture the essence of truth in simple ways. Reflecting on the last two decades of leading Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, I've been able to identify at least 10 core axioms (probably more like 25!) that have stood the test of time. In many ways, they are a "cliff-notes" introduction to an emotionally healthy church culture. In today's podcast, I share the first 5 timeless axioms that have shaped the culture of what we call Emotionally Healthy Leadership. (ie. "Jesus may be in your heart, but grandpa is in your bones." If you are a leader, these axioms are extremely helpful to use with your teams as simple ways to build a healthy team and church culture. I pray you will memorize them, ponder them, and make space to allow the biblical truth to penetrate you.  

Transcribed - Published: 8 August 2023

According to the World Christian Encyclopedia, the fastest growing stream of the church is the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement. In terms of overall numbers, it represents 644 million Christians world wide. This is 8.3% of the world population. By 2050, it will reach over 1 billion people. Unbelievable! We need the power of God, gifts of the Holy Spirit, signs and wonders for the global mission of the church. Much of my personal spiritual and leadership journey was formed in the charismatic movement. We regularly experienced the outpouring of God's power in our church. It was electric. And yet I was still proud, defensive, distant, not present, unable to connect relationally, conflict avoidant, unaware internally, and unloving. This disconnect is what led to the birth of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship. In today's episode, I unpack 5 key contributions of Emotionally Healthy Discipleship that allow us to walk in the healthy, long-term release of God’s power. 

Transcribed - Published: 25 July 2023

For leaders, one of the most frustrating parts of decision-making is this... It....takes....time. Sure, sometimes quick decisions are necessary. But most consequential decisions (that shape the future of your life, church, and ministry) require the ability to slow down and wait. Usually for longer than is comfortable for you. In order to let your judgments (discernments) come from deep within, you cannot in any way be pressed or hurried. You must wait. To be clear, waiting does not mean you are doing nothing.  You are doing the most important something there is. In today's podcast, I share more about what God is actually developing in you in times of waiting. Then I take time to address several questions listeners have submitted.

Transcribed - Published: 11 July 2023