Staying Grounded When People Are Driving You Crazy

The Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality

Newlifefellowship, Religion & Spirituality, Leadership, Richvillodas, Petescazzero, Emotionallyhealthyspirituality, Christianity, Faith, Peterscazzero, Churchleaders, Spirituality, Emotionallyhealthy, Newyork, Pastor

4.8 • 673 Ratings

🗓️ 12 December 2023

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We're in the thick of the holiday season – a time full of joy, yet jam-packed with people, parties, and productions.

This season has a dizzying effect on everyone - but especially leaders. One temptation is to put a smile on our face while skimming over the frustrations, disappointments, and other inner workings of our souls.

We have people and situations that are bothering us at a core level, but rather than leaning into difficult and heartfelt conversations, we choose instead to avoid them. When we do this, we step out of integrity.

This was how I operated for years as a pastor. I had people that were getting under my skin, but no tools to communicate what I was feeling in a healthy way. I chose instead to pretend I was feeling one way when secretly I was angry.

Take a moment to reflect. Is there a situation that is bothering you?

A staff member is chronically late to team meetings
Your children are texting during a family meal
A volunteer is saying they are doing their role, but they clearly are not
A church elder or board member is living a non-exemplary life
Someone dropped the ball on getting out promotions for your Christmas Eve service.

Chances are, you have plenty of other examples.

To live and lead with integrity, we must be able to disentangle our emotions and values so we communicate them to others in a healthy way.

This is why my wife Geri and I developed a tool called the "Ladder of Integrity". It's a series of questions that we use to identify our emotions, values, and hopes. This allows us to communicate to others with clarity and kindness.

In today's podcast episode, my wife Geri and I share more about climbing the Ladder of Integrity, an essential skill of Emotionally Healthy Relationships.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, everybody.
0:03.0	Hello.
0:04.0	Today's welcome to the Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast.
0:07.0	Great to be with you.
0:08.0	I'm with Jerry, of course.
0:10.0	And today's theme is staying grounded when people are driving you crazy.
0:16.0	Staying grounded when people are driving you crazy.
0:19.0	Honey, this is a seventh podcast in a row we've done around emotionally healthy relationships.
0:25.4	And we've done seven of the eight skills so far.
0:29.8	And we began, if people think of yourself as a pyramid, the bottom, what we began with
0:34.3	unleashing the God-given voice, yours and of your people. Community temperature
0:39.1	reading was the first skill. Then we talked about slaying the dragon of wrong assumptions, not mind
0:43.9	reading. Then we went into the life-saving practice of clarifying expectations. And then we moved
0:50.2	into the high-stakes decision to transform your history into a great future.
0:56.1	We got into GenoGran.
0:57.8	Then we moved into wide bottling up emotions, kills spiritual growth.
1:02.6	And then last podcast was the one skill that will make or break your life and leadership
1:10.2	incarnationalism.
1:11.9	We've done a lot.
1:13.3	Yeah.
1:13.8	Yeah.
1:14.1	And today's title about someone's...
	...

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