The Nocturnists

Historian Susan Wise Bauer tells the story of how, across centuries—from ancient civilizations to modern medicine—humans have tried to make sense of illness through evolving frameworks, from divine punishment to bodily imbalance to germs. Drawing on historical accounts and cultural analysis, she explores how fear, suffering, and uncertainty shape not only medical knowledge but also trust in authority and social behaviors—and ultimately shows that our present-day struggles with medicine and trust are not new, but part of a long, repeating human story. This episode of The Nocturnists is sponsored by Claimable. Every year, insurers deny over 850 million claims in the United States. Fewer than one percent are ever appealed. Claimable exists to change that, with an online platform that helps patients overturn unjust denials and restore access to the care they need. With Claimable's easy to use appeal builder, patients create and submit personalized, expert-backed appeals combining clinical, policy, and legal evidence into powerful coverage arguments. If you or someone you know has ever lost access to a medication because of an insurance denial, Claimable was built for that moment. To learn more, and explore how Claimable works with partners in healthcare to expand access, visit www.getclaimable.com Looking for more from The Nocturnists? Explore The Nocturnists+, our subscriber-only feed featuring The Nocturnists After Hours—a monthly series where host Emily Silverman is joined by executive producer Dr. Ali Block for more informal, open conversations about medicine, culture, and their own lived experiences. Subscriptions start at just $10/mo and include exclusive discounts on our new merch. Learn more or subscribe at thenocturnists.org/plus.

Transcribed - Published: 28 May 2026

Dr. Erika MacIntyre reflects on her path into critical care and chronic ventilation medicine, as well as the mounting pressures she faced during COVID-19—including professional strain, loss of personal outlets, and family challenges. Seeking change, she and her family embarked on an ambitious sailing journey across the Atlantic, navigating both physical and emotional challenges while living simply and disconnected from modern conveniences. Looking for more from The Nocturnists? Explore The Nocturnists+, our subscriber-only feed featuring The Nocturnists After Hours—a monthly series where host Emily Silverman is joined by executive producer Dr. Ali Block for more informal, open conversations about medicine, culture, and their own lived experiences. Subscriptions start at just $10/mo and include exclusive discounts on our new merch. Learn more or subscribe at thenocturnists.org/plus.

Transcribed - Published: 21 May 2026

Pediatric intensivist Dr. Chris Carroll tells the story of an unexpected consult: a young gorilla named Kevin, critically ill with Shigella sepsis during an outbreak at the Jacksonville Zoo. What begins as a strange crossover between human and veterinary medicine becomes something deeper as Chris works alongside veterinarians trying to save Kevin's life. In the process, he is struck not only by the similarities between caring for sick children and sick animals, but by the reverence and tenderness the veterinary team brings to their work. We talk about pediatric ICU medicine, the human-animal boundary, grief across species, and what doctors might learn from veterinarians about compassion. Chris originally performed this story at a live storytelling event produced CHEST as a part of our Satellites Storytelling program. Looking for more from The Nocturnists? Explore The Nocturnists+, our subscriber-only feed featuring The Nocturnists After Hours—a monthly series where host Emily Silverman is joined by executive producer Dr. Ali Block for more informal, open conversations about medicine, culture, and their own lived experiences. Subscriptions start at just $10/mo and include exclusive discounts on our new merch. Learn more or subscribe at thenocturnists.org/plus.

Transcribed - Published: 7 May 2026

Solange Madriz, a public health professional at UCSF, reflects on her work training birth attendants and clinicians in rural Guatemala to respond to maternal emergencies through low-cost simulation. For years, she helped others prepare for postpartum hemorrhage, preeclampsia, and other life-threatening complications of childbirth. Then, after the birth of her own first child during the pandemic, she developed severe postpartum preeclampsia and found herself on the other side of the hospital bed. In our conversation, Solange talks about public health, maternal health, the limits of knowledge when your own body is in crisis, and how her own medical experience changed the way she thinks about her work. Solange originally performed this story at a live storytelling event produced UCSF Institute of Global Health Sciences as a part of our Satellites Storytelling program. Looking for more from The Nocturnists? Explore The Nocturnists+, our subscriber-only feed featuring The Nocturnists After Hours—a monthly series where host Emily Silverman is joined by executive producer Dr. Ali Block for more informal, open conversations about medicine, culture, and their own lived experiences. Subscriptions start at just $10/mo and include exclusive discounts on our new merch. Learn more or subscribe at thenocturnists.org/plus.

Transcribed - Published: 30 April 2026

In this episode, infectious disease physician and global health leader Dr. mike Reid reflects on a moment early in his career working in Botswana, when a young patient died in front of him despite his efforts to help. The experience brought back a memory from childhood, when he first heard his father quietly describe himself as a failure. In a field where the needs often far exceed the available resources, mike explores how physicians learn to live with doubt, responsibility, and the persistent feeling of not doing enough. Together we talk about the emotional landscape of global health, the role of failure in medicine, and what it means to keep trying anyway. mike originally performed this story at a live storytelling event produced UCSF Institute of Global Health Sciences as a part of our Satellites Storytelling program. Looking for more from The Nocturnists? Explore The Nocturnists+, our subscriber-only feed featuring The Nocturnists After Hours—a monthly series where host Emily Silverman is joined by executive producer Dr. Ali Block for more informal, open conversations about medicine, culture, and their own lived experiences. Subscriptions start at just $10/mo and include exclusive discounts on our new merch. Learn more or subscribe at thenocturnists.org/plus.

Transcribed - Published: 23 April 2026

While navigating a painful period in her personal life, ICU physician Nikki Mittal cares for a patient with severe brain injury whose family is preparing to withdraw life support. After a difficult earlier interaction that leaves her questioning herself, the family gathers on the day of withdrawal and unexpectedly asks to pray for her. In that moment, the usual direction of care shifts—the doctor who came to support the family finds herself receiving comfort and reassurance from them instead. Nikki originally performed this story at a live Satellites Storytelling event produced by Dr. Shayne Poulin and the Riverside-San Bernardino Chapter of CAFP in 2025. This event was generously funded by the California Health Care Foundation, as a part of our Satellites Program.   Looking for more from The Nocturnists? Explore The Nocturnists+, our subscriber-only feed featuring The Nocturnists After Hours—a monthly series where host Emily Silverman is joined by executive producer Dr. Ali Block for more informal, open conversations about medicine, culture, and their own lived experiences. Subscriptions start at just $10/mo and include exclusive discounts on our new merch. Learn more or subscribe at thenocturnists.org/plus.

Transcribed - Published: 16 April 2026

We're excited to be launching The Nocturnists+, a subscriber-only feed featuring a special monthly episode called The Nocturnists After Hours, as well as discounted rates on our awesome new merch. The Nocturnists After Hours episodes are more intimate and unstructured—a space where I step away from formal interviews to join executive producer Ali Block for casual, open conversations about medicine, culture, and our personal journeys. For our first episode, Ali and I talk about what it means to be "the doctor" in your family—the one people call when something feels off, when a diagnosis doesn't sit right, or when things start to fall apart. It's a role that comes with a strange mix of pride and pressure. There are moments where you can help in meaningful ways. And moments where all that knowledge just makes things harder. We found ourselves circling a question that doesn't have a clean answer: when do you step in, and when do you let go? We're really excited about this new corner of our community, and we'd love your input as it takes shape—especially around the kinds of conversations you'd like to hear, whether Q&As, deep dives into philosophical questions related to healthcare, or explorations of trending medical stories. Today, we're sharing a short teaser of our first After Hours episode. The full episode is out now in our subscriber feed, with new ones dropping the second Tuesday of every month. Subscriptions start at just $10/month, and for the next two weeks, we're offering 10% off for early subscribers. We invite you to learn more or subscribe at: thenocturnists.org/plus

Transcribed - Published: 14 April 2026

Tiffany Chan shares how her journey from a small-town family optometry practice to high-intensity academic medicine at Johns Hopkins was transformed when her mother suffered a major brain bleed, drawing her back home to care for her family. Ultimately, her mother's recovery, later passing, and the deep relationships her parents built with their patients helped Tiffany realize that the meaningful, community-rooted life she truly valued was in Grass Valley, where she now continues the family practice and honors her mother's legacy. Tiffany originally performed this story at Medicine Story: on the meanings of healing, a live storytelling event produced by Dr. Rebecca George from the Sierra Valley Health Center in Nevada City, CA in 2025. This event was generously funded by the California Health Care Foundation, as a part of our Satellites Program. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Stories from the World of Medicine is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. and our friends at the podcast Unleashed: Redesigning Health Care.

Transcribed - Published: 8 January 2026

Physician and writer Frances Southwick tells a deeply personal story about love and illness. Growing up queer in rural Colorado, Frances experiences mysterious episodes of sudden paralysis triggered by intense emotion, beginning in adolescence and persisting for decades without a diagnosis. After years of shame, misattribution, and near-abandonment of dreams, Frances falls in love with Judith, builds a life with her, and finally receives a diagnosis of type 1 narcolepsy with cataplexy—explaining why moments of beauty, joy, and love literally caused collapse. Frances originally performed this story at Medicine Story: on the meanings of healing, a live storytelling event produced by Dr. Rebecca George from the Sierra Valley Health Center in Nevada City, CA in 2025. This event was generously funded by the California Health Care Foundation, as a part of our Satellites Program. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Stories from the World of Medicine is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. and our friends at the podcast Unleashed: Redesigning Health Care.

Transcribed - Published: 18 December 2025

Community health workers Alicia Ashorn and Anthony Thigpen share their personal stories—Alicia's journey through addiction and recovery, and Anthony's path through grief, transformation, and reentry work—and how these experiences shape their care for people returning from incarceration. In the conversation that follows, they reflect on the power of storytelling, the emotional complexity of supporting clients in crisis, and the wisdom required to balance compassion with boundaries. Through vivid anecdotes from the field, they illuminate the essential yet often unseen role of community health workers as bridges between the clinic and the community, offering trust, dignity, and hope to people navigating systems that routinely fail them. Alicia and Anthony originally told their stories at Journeys of Healing: Stories of Resilience and Transformation, a storytelling event presented by Transitions Clinic Network in Los Angeles in 2025. The event was made possible by a generous grant from the California Health Care Foundation in support of our program, The Nocturnists Satellites. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Stories from the World of Medicine is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. and our friends at the podcast Unleashed: Redesigning Health Care.

Transcribed - Published: 11 December 2025

Sharon Fennix spent 38 years incarcerated before becoming the hotline coordinator for the Transitions Clinic Network (TCN), where she now supports people returning to the community with empathy, compassion, and lived experience. In this episode, she talks with Emily about reentry, the power of peer support, and the creative life she built inside prison—evolving from seamstress to playwright, director, and storyteller whose productions bridged divides and transformed her own sense of self. Sharon was a producer for Journeys of Healing: Stories of Resilience and Transformation, a storytelling event presented by the Transitions Clinic Network in Los Angeles in 2025. The event was made possible by a generous grant from the California Health Care Foundation in support of our program, The Nocturnists Satellites. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Stories from the World of Medicine is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 26 November 2025

Nurse practitioner Linda Wick has spent more than four decades in medicine, beginning her journey as a six-year-old watching nurses care for her injured brother. In today's story, she recalls the early lessons that shaped her career—from the strict nuns who taught her at the College of St. Scholastica to the life-and-death responsibilities of the ICU and dialysis unit. When a medical emergency reunites her with one of her toughest teachers, Sister Helen, Linda is forced to confront the words that haunted her for years. Linda originally performed this story live on stage at Intersections, a live storytelling event produced by the Center for the Art of Medicine in Minneapolis in 2024 through our program, The Nocturnists Satellites.  The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Stories from the World of Medicine is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 13 November 2025

Birth doula Sarah Auna has attended nearly 500 births. Today, she shares the story of one particularly powerful birth—an experience that unfolded not only in the body, but in the mind and spirit of everyone present. Through vivid storytelling, Sarah reflects on the physiology and psychology of labor, the art of creating safety in moments of intensity, and the lessons birth has taught her about trust, presence, and self-knowledge. Sarah originally performed this story live on stage at Intersections, a live storytelling event produced by the Center for the Art of Medicine in Minneapolis in 2024 through our program, The Nocturnists Satellites.  Music by Rachel Kurtz (song: "Lioness") The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Stories from the World of Medicine is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 6 November 2025

Infectious disease Physician Meghan Rothenberger grew up feeling uncertain and disconnected from her body. As a teenager, she struggled with an eating disorder, trying to make sense of the changes of adolescence and the cultural messages around her. Years later, as a medical student studying anatomy, she began to see the body not as something to control, but as something wondrous and worthy of care. In this conversation, Meghan talks with Emily about growing up, navigating an eating disorder, and finding healing through science, pregnancy, and the everyday miracle of being alive. Together, they explore how understanding the body can open the door to compassion, connection, and belonging within oneself. Meghan originally performed this story live on stage at Intersections, a live storytelling event produced by the Center for the Art of Medicine in Minneapolis in 2024 through our program, The Nocturnists Satellites. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Stories from the World of Medicine is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 30 October 2025

Physician Jessica Zitter and chaplain Betty Clark to explore their partnership and the making of their film The Chaplain and The Doctor. The documentary, set in Oakland's Highland Hospital, captures the real work of palliative care and spiritual care, alongside a growing friendship between two women who cross lines of race, power, and professional hierarchy. They discuss what it means to listen with compassion, how bias and racism manifest at the bedside, and how storytelling, humility, and friendship can become acts of healing. From funny hospital moments to scenes of deep moral reckoning, this episode shows how two healers learn from each other, and how humanity itself can be the best medicine. Find show notes, transcript, and more on our substack and website.  The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Conversations is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 16 October 2025

Pediatrician and author Perri Klass joins us to discuss the dramatic fall in child mortality, drawing from her book The Best Medicine. She traces how clean water, vaccines, antibiotics, and neonatal care transformed family life, revisits once-feared diseases and the breakthroughs that conquered them, and reflects on the cultural shift that made childhood death unacceptable. We also explore the return of measles amid misinformation, the evolution of pediatrics from infection-fighting to child development, and what it means to raise kids in the most medically protected era in history. Find show notes, transcript, and more on our substack and website.  The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Conversations is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 9 October 2025

Writer Sarah Manguso joins us to discuss Questions Without Answers—a book born from a single tweet that drew thousands of kids' startling, funny, and profound questions, later shaped with New Yorker cartoonist Liana Finck. Part poetry, part philosophy, part comedy, it's an anthology of childhood wonder. She also revisits her memoir Two Kinds of Decay, which chronicles her diagnosis with CIDP, a rare autoimmune disorder in which the body's immune system attacks the peripheral nerves, and how it shaped her understanding of illness, vulnerability, and the power of storytelling. Find show notes, transcript, and more on our substack and website.  The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Conversations is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 2 October 2025

Michael Grassi, veteran TV writer, and Daniela Lamas, ICU physician and writer, join us to discuss Brilliant Minds, a medical drama inspired by the cases and philosophy of Oliver Sacks. Together, they reflect on what makes Brilliant Minds different from other medical dramas: a focus not on miracle cures or fast diagnoses, but on adaptation, empathy, and the human condition. Find show notes, transcript, and more on our substack and website.  The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Conversations is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 23 September 2025

Anne Basting, a scholar, writer, and advocate for creative aging, speaks about her groundbreaking work transforming dementia care through creativity and storytelling. As the founder of TimeSlips and author of "Creative Care," Basting shares how she discovered the power of improvisation to spark imagination, dignity, and joy in people with dementia. Together, we explore the "beautiful question," the principles of "yes, and," and "proof-of-listening" — simple but profound tools for building connection. Anne reflects on her journey from studying senior theater to pioneering a movement that redefines care as a creative, relational process, offering practical insights for caregivers, families, and communities to engage with people living with dementia in more meaningful ways. This episode was originally produced by Remo Health as a part of their "Talking Dementia" podcast. Remo Health is an innovative telehealth company providing whole-person care to people living with dementia and their caregivers. To learn more about Remo, visit remo.health. Find show notes, transcript, and more on our substack and website.  The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and the Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 11 September 2025

Dr. Susan Nathan, a palliative care physician at the Boston VA, and Thor Ringler, a therapist and poet at the Madison VA, share the story of My Life, My Story — a groundbreaking program that brings veterans' voices into their medical charts through first-person narratives. Born from a desire to foster empathy and human connection in clinical care, the program has now spread to over 80 VA hospitals nationwide. Susan and Thor reflect on the origins of the initiative, the impact these stories have on patient-clinician relationships, and the profound moments of vulnerability, dignity, and healing that emerge from the storytelling process. We discuss the art of deep listening, the logistics of writing and sharing these narratives, and their vision for expanding this model to institutions beyond the VA. Find show notes, transcript, and more on our substack and website.  The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Conversations is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 4 September 2025

Corey Feist, co-founder of the Dr. Lorna Breen Heroes Foundation, shares the story of his sister-in-law, Dr. Lorna Breen, a dedicated New York City emergency physician who died by suicide in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic. Corey reflects on her passion for medicine, the shock and grief that followed her death, and the flood of messages from healthcare workers that exposed deep stigma and barriers to seeking mental health care. He describes how this outpouring sparked the creation of the foundation and the passing of the Dr. Lorna Breen Health Care Provider Protection Act, driving systemic change to better support clinicians. We also explore ongoing advocacy, progress in reforming licensing and credentialing practices, and the power of community, collaboration, and action in preserving clinician wellbeing.  Find show notes, transcript, and more on our substack and website.  The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Conversations is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 28 August 2025

Dr. Wendy Dean, psychiatrist, writer, and co-founder of Moral Injury of Healthcare, reveals how a profit-driven healthcare system is wounding the very clinicians sworn to care for patients. Drawing from her book If I Betray These Words, Dean explains the concept of moral injury—how systemic betrayal, not personal weakness, often drives physician distress—and shares harrowing true stories of doctors punished, silenced, or even destroyed for putting patient safety first. From corporate consolidation gutting primary care to non-compete clauses that trap physicians, she exposes the forces undermining patient-first medicine and highlights the courageous clinicians fighting back through lawsuits, new care models, and bold advocacy. Find show notes, transcript, and more on our substack and website.  The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of Conversations is sponsored by The Physicians Foundation. 

Transcribed - Published: 21 August 2025

Today, we're releasing a special bonus episode featuring Emily and our "uncertainty correspondent" Alexa Miller, in conversation with the ABIM Foundation. Together, they reflect on the key insights from creating the Uncertainty in Medicine series. Thank you to the ABIM Foundation for hosting and recording this webinar. To sign up for a webinar in the future, visit buildingtrust.org/webinars. Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Host: Pamela Browner White Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 3 July 2025

In the series finale, we explore a different type of uncertainty—the uncertainty that arises around the healthcare system itself. This episode follows Ed Stratton, a stage IV cancer patient who beat his cancer, only to be denied a life-saving liver transplant by his insurance provider. His daughter Erin, armed with industry knowledge and unshakable determination, teams up with a healthcare whistleblower and an AI-powered startup to wage an extraordinary battle for his life. We end with a quiet reflection on uncertainty, and what it means to keep going.  Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 26 June 2025

What does it mean to live well in a world where nothing is certain — not in medicine, not in life? In this episode, we follow a high school teacher who asks his students to examine "the good life" through philosophy, Buddhism, and existential inquiry. We meet two women — a Buddhist monk and a disability rights advocate — who bring spiritual wisdom to the messy realities of illness, caregiving, and embodiment. Their stories, woven with reflections on impermanence, suffering, and compassion, offer a new way of thinking about uncertainty: not as something to fix, but as something to live with. Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 19 June 2025

Today, we explore the paradox of mortality: something both certain and utterly unknowable. Through a haunting parable from Ursula K. Le Guin and stories from doctors and loved ones, we hear what happens when people try to plan for death—or avoid it. A daughter processes her mother's calm decision to pursue assisted dying. A physician grapples with an ambiguous advance directive. A neurointensivist weighs the line between hope and false hope. What do we do when clear answers are impossible? And what happens when our attempts to control death only bring more suffering?  And in the midst of all this uncertainty, how do we find peace? Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 12 June 2025

Today, we step inside the studio of visual artist Leila Simon Hayes, whose bold, shape-driven designs are born from a process rooted in imperfection, intuition, and trust. Through her story, we explore how Leila's creative practice helped her navigate decades of chronic pain and medical dismissal, eventually leading her to healing not through certainty, but through listening—both to her art and her body. Her journey invites us to reconsider our own relationship with uncertainty, and to ask: what happens when we stop demanding answers and start embracing the unknown? Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 5 June 2025

Today, we explore the hidden layers of communication in medicine—what gets said, what doesn't, and how uncertainty lives not just in the clinical data, but in the space between people. From a telemedicine encounter with a stubbornly independent patient in the Santa Cruz mountains, to a deeply personal story of navigating breast cancer risk, and finally to the ICU, where one physician is trying to revolutionize how teams talk about the unknown, this episode invites listeners into the gray zones of uncertainty and the doctor-patient relationship. Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 29 May 2025

Today, we step into the dance studio with improvisational dance artist Chris Aiken, whose work lives at the intersection of uncertainty, movement, and presence. With insights that resonate far beyond the dance studio, Chris explores how attention, poetic instinct, and even failure are essential tools for responding creatively under pressure—much like an ER doctor at a moment of crisis. Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 22 May 2025

This week, we explore how time and uncertainty are intertwined in the practice of medicine. A toxicologist faces a split-second decision in the ER that could mean life or death for a young patient. A woman with chronic ankle pain spends years searching for answers as dozens of doctors offer snap diagnoses and failed treatments. A rheumatologist navigates the slow, murky waters of autoimmune disease, where diagnosis and treatment often unfold over months or years. And a couple reckons with the long-term implications of a rare and unpredictable heart condition. Through these stories, we see how uncertainty can stretch time out endlessly or collapse it into a single moment and how, in medicine, working with time rather than fighting against it is often the only way forward. Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 15 May 2025

When a 7.6 magnitude earthquake leveled entire villages in Pakistan, retired U.S. Navy Admiral Mike LeFever was thrust into the heart of the disaster with no playbook and a simple directive: provide humanitarian aid and strengthen U.S.-Pakistan relations. In this episode, LeFever recounts what it was like to lead a massive relief effort in the chaotic aftermath—coordinating aid, rebuilding schools, and navigating diplomacy in a country where his presence was politically charged. As his mission evolved from emergency response to long-term relationship-building, including during the fallout of the Bin Laden raid, LeFever shares hard-won lessons on leadership, humility, and decision-making in extreme uncertainty. Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 8 May 2025

What happens when doctors have to make life-or-death decisions in an evidence-free zone — and patients are left to navigate the unknown? In episode 5 of "Uncertainty in Medicine", we bring you three gripping, real-life stories: a neurosurgeon weighing impossible risks in the operating room, a palliative care doctor facing a young man's quiet resolve to die, and a patient whose long-awaited kidney transplant vanishes in a single phone call. These are high-stakes moments where instinct takes over, control slips away, and the only way forward is a leap of faith. Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode is sponsored by a new podcast that fans of the Nocturnists are sure to love. Unleashed: Redesigning Health Care features clinician-innovators who have changed care on the front lines. Their stories, their voices, their ingenuity. Learn more at unleashedpodcast.org. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 1 May 2025

What does uncertainty in medicine have to do with Chernobyl? According to patient safety officer Dr. Ron Wyatt, more than we might think. In the fourth episode of our "Uncertainty in Medicine" series, he draws a chilling connection between one of history's worst nuclear disasters and the quiet, preventable tragedies that unfold in hospitals every day. In both cases, the warning signs were there. People sensed something was wrong. But no one spoke up—or if they did, no one listened. Through his work at the Joint Commission, Dr. Wyatt has spent decades investigating sentinel events, the most serious and avoidable medical errors. What he's found is deeply unsettling: the root causes rarely come down to lack of knowledge. They come from cultures where fear, hierarchy, and silence override curiosity and caution. And time and again, he's seen how racism and bias magnify that silence. Here, Dr. Wyatt reveals what truly makes healthcare safe—and what has to change to protect every patient, equally. Quick note: In this episode, Dr. Wyatt mentions his time at The Joint Commission. The correct length of his tenure is 5 years. Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode is sponsored by a new podcast that fans of the Nocturnists are sure to love. Unleashed: Redesigning Health Care features clinician-innovators who have changed care on the front lines. Their stories, their voices, their ingenuity. Learn more at unleashedpodcast.org. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 24 April 2025

In episode 3 of the "Uncertainty in Medicine" series, patient Dana undergoes a routine knee replacement and expects a straightforward recovery. Instead, she's plunged into a baffling and relentless illness—one that defies diagnosis and leaves her life in limbo. As her symptoms intensify and specialists write her off, Dana finds an unwavering ally in her primary care doctor, the one person who refuses to let her fall through the cracks. This episode traces their year-long search for answers, revealing the emotional cost of medical uncertainty and the rare power of a clinician who stays the course. Along the way, we visit Lewiston, Maine, where a small, intentional change to residents' schedules is making the uncertainty of primary care more manageable and helping keep young doctors in the field. Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode is sponsored by a new podcast that fans of the Nocturnists are sure to love. Unleashed: Redesigning Health Care features clinician-innovators who have changed care on the front lines. Their stories, their voices, their ingenuity. Learn more at unleashedpodcast.org. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 17 April 2025

On this episode of Conversations, Emily sits down with the creative team behind The Pitt—a gripping new medical drama on HBO Max that's making waves in the healthcare world and beyond. Joining her are showrunner R. Scott Gemmill (ER, NCIS: LA), physician-writer Dr. Joe Sachs (ER), and emergency medicine educator and EM:RAP founder Dr. Mel Herbert. Together, they go behind the scenes of the show, discussing characters, medical cases, set design, and the creative team's relentless pursuit of medical authenticity. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Transcribed - Published: 15 April 2025

Step inside Alexa Miller's classroom, where paintings become portals and doctors learn to see like patients. In this episode, Alexa leads a powerful exercise called the "image circle," where clinicians reflect on their own experiences of medical uncertainty and choose artworks that speak to those moments. What follows is anything but abstract—through close looking and deep conversation, participants begin to feel what it's like to sit on the other side of the exam table. Alexa, a trailblazer at the crossroads of art and medicine, shares  frameworks for understanding uncertainty and introduces her BOLD framework for navigating uncertainty in healthcare. Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 10 April 2025

In the premiere of the "Uncertainty in Medicine" series, The Nocturnists explore medicine's uneasy relationship with not knowing. From the clean resolutions of medical dramas to the structured rituals of case conferences, the culture of medicine often treats uncertainty as something to be avoided, resolved, or explained away. But what happens when uncertainty is not just a temporary gap in knowledge—but a constant, lived reality? Through story and reflection, this episode invites listeners to reconsider the role of uncertainty in clinical care. What if the goal isn't to eliminate it, but to navigate it skillfully? And what if doing so makes us not only better clinicians, but better collaborators, listeners, and humans? Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org, and subscribe to our substack. The "Uncertainty in Medicine" series is generously funded by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Host: Emily Silverman, MD Uncertainty Correspondent: Alexa Miller Series Illustrations by Eleni Debo

Transcribed - Published: 3 April 2025

Our Uncertainty in Medicine series launches next week, and to set the stage, we're sharing one of our favorite episodes from the archives - a heartfelt conversation with New York Times columnist Ross Douthat about his journey through the healthcare system while living with chronic Lyme disease. Medicine likes certainty - diseases we can see and test for and treat. But what do we do when we can't see? When we can't help? Do we keep searching? Or do we look away? In this episode, Emily speaks with New York Times columnist Ross Douthat about his book The Deep Places, which tells the harrowing story of his experience with Lyme disease, and what it's like to navigate a chronic illness that mainstream medicine hasn't yet fully explained. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Transcribed - Published: 27 March 2025

Medicine is full of uncertainty—from ambiguous diagnoses to unpredictable outcomes and the complex emotions of not knowing. Uncertainty in Medicine is a new documentary podcast series, created in collaboration with Alexa Miller of ArtsPractica, that examines how both healthcare workers and patients navigate the unknown. Through powerful personal stories and in-depth conversations with professionals whose work depends on making decisions amid uncertainty, the series explores what it means to embrace the gray areas of medicine—and life. The first episode of Uncertainty in Medicine drops Thursday, April 3. Find show notes, transcripts, and more at thenocturnists.org The Uncertainty in Medicine series is supported by the ABIM Foundation, by the Josiah Macy Jr. Foundation, and the Gordon & Betty Moore Foundation. The Nocturnists is supported by The California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. Series Host & Co-Creator: Emily Silverman, MD Series Correspondent: Alexa Miller (ArtsPractica)  

Transcribed - Published: 21 March 2025

Dr. Allan Detsky, a Canadian physician, health economist, and Broadway producer, examines the contrasts between Canadian and American healthcare. He then delves into his passion for musical theater, recounting his unexpected journey into Broadway production and how he integrates musical theater into hospital wards as a means of decompression and connection in medical education. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Transcribed - Published: 6 March 2025

Kali Dayton, critical care nurse practitioner, ICU outcomes consultant, and host of the Walking Home from the ICU podcast, joins pioneering ICU physical therapist Heidi Engel to discuss long-standing ICU practices rooted in sedation and immobility. Together, they make a powerful case for a transformative model that keeps patients awake, engaged, and walking—even while on ventilators. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Transcribed - Published: 27 February 2025

Dr. Marcy Bolster, Dr. Jason Liebowitz, and Dr. Philip Seo join us to discuss their newly published anthology, A Masterclass in Medicine: Lessons from the Experts. They created this compelling essay series to explore what it means to be a master clinician, featuring lessons from their own clinical heroes as well as other renowned physicians. Through these essays, they highlight the essential qualities of exceptional doctoring—empathy, clinical reasoning, and lifelong learning. In this conversation, they share the insights that shaped their careers, reflect on the impact of mentorship, and examine the enduring art of patient-centered care. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Transcribed - Published: 30 January 2025

Physician and New Yorker writer Dhruv Khullar argues that modern medicine is in a Gilded Age—one where groundbreaking innovations mask deep systemic issues, including misaligned incentives, escalating costs, and growing dissatisfaction. From the influence of private equity on healthcare to the flaws of Medicare Advantage and the crucial role of data as the 'oil' of the healthcare system, this conversation explores the challenges of contemporary medicine while underscoring the importance of frontline clinicians actively engaging in health policy debates. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Transcribed - Published: 23 January 2025

Susannah Fox discusses her book Rebel Health: A Field Guide to the Patient-Led Revolution in Medical Care. Drawing from decades of research, Susannah shares stories of patients and caregivers who, when faced with challenges mainstream medicine couldn't solve, stepped up as innovators. From parents hacking their own medical devices to build DIY artificial pancreases to communities collecting critical data for rare diseases, Susannah highlights the power of grassroots healthcare innovation. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Transcribed - Published: 16 January 2025

Jamie Metzl, author of Superconvergence, explores the convergence of technologies shaping humanity's future. From the genetics revolution to artificial intelligence, he unpacks how these technologies intersect, the ethical dilemmas they pose, and their potential to reshape life, work, and health. With insight and optimism, Jamie challenges us to harness humanity's newfound powers wisely to create a better world for all. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of The Nocturnists is sponsored by the Bucksbaum-Siegler Institute for Clinical Excellence at The University of Chicago. The Institute is dedicated to fostering compassionate doctor-patient relationships and advancing clinical care. Each year, the Bucksbaum-Siegler Institute recognizes extraordinary healthcare professionals through The National Clinical Excellence Award. To learn more about the award and to nominate a deserving clinician, visit bucksbauminstitute.uchicago.edu.

Transcribed - Published: 9 January 2025

Journalist Sarah DiGregorio delves into the history and humanity of nursing in her book, Taking Care: The Story of Nursing and Its Power to Change Our World. Tracing the ancient roots of caregiving to the critical role of nurses in modern healthcare, she uncovers untold stories that illuminate the complexities and significance of this often undervalued profession. Through meticulous research and compelling narratives, DiGregorio portrays nursing as both a fundamental human act and and cornerstone of healthcare. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of The Nocturnists is sponsored by the Bucksbaum-Siegler Institute for Clinical Excellence at The University of Chicago. The Institute is dedicated to fostering compassionate doctor-patient relationships and advancing clinical care. Each year, the Bucksbaum-Siegler Institute recognizes extraordinary healthcare professionals through The National Clinical Excellence Award. To learn more about the award, and to nominate a deserving clinician, visit bucksbauminstitute.uchicago.edu.

Transcribed - Published: 19 December 2024

Dr. Rana Awdish, critical care physician and author of In Shock, reflects on her near-death experience and its transformative impact on her understanding of medicine and healing. Written seven years ago, In Shock marked her "first pass" at recovery. Now, as she prepares for her second book, she reframes healing as a recursive process rather than a linear journey, uncovering deeper layers of growth and emphasizing the power of listening, connection, and embodiment. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of The Nocturnists is sponsored by the Bucksbaum-Siegler Institute for Clinical Excellence at The University of Chicago. The Institute is dedicated to fostering compassionate doctor-patient relationships and advancing clinical care. Each year, the Bucksbaum-Siegler Institute recognizes extraordinary healthcare professionals through The National Clinical Excellence Award. To learn more about the award, and to nominate a deserving clinician, visit bucksbauminstitute.uchicago.edu.

Transcribed - Published: 12 December 2024

Playwright and memoirist Sarah Ruhl discusses her book Smile, which chronicles her journey with Bell's Palsy and the emotional and spiritual challenges of chronic illness. She reflects on the idea of the "slow" or "partial" recovery, how her work as a playwright informs her perspective, the challenges of navigating the healthcare system, and the power of storytelling to heal both writer and reader. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you. This episode of The Nocturnists is sponsored by the Bucksbaum-Siegler Institute for Clinical Excellence at The University of Chicago. The Institute is dedicated to fostering compassionate doctor-patient relationships and advancing clinical care. Each year, the Bucksbaum-Siegler Institute recognizes extraordinary healthcare professionals through The National Clinical Excellence Award. To learn more about the award, and to nominate a deserving clinician, visit bucksbauminstitute.uchicago.edu.

Transcribed - Published: 5 December 2024

In this episode of Conversations, Dr. Jessi Gold, psychiatrist and Chief Wellness Officer at the University of Tennessee, discusses the mental health challenges faced by healthcare workers. Jessi shares insights from her new book, How Do You Feel? One Doctor's Search for Humanity in Medicine, and explores how burnout, moral injury, and wellness are shaping the future of medicine. The conversation delves into topics ranging from telemedicine's influence on mental health care to breaking down the stigma that prevents clinicians from seeking help. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Transcribed - Published: 21 November 2024

In this episode of Conversations, Ruth Madievsky, clinical pharmacist and author of the national bestseller "All-Night Pharmacy," shares the inspiration behind her darkly poetic novel about sisterhood, addiction, and intergenerational trauma. Ruth reflects on how her Moldovan roots, her healthcare career, and her love of poetry have shaped her writing. We also dive into the mysticism that permeates her work and explore how trauma and healing intersect in her life and fiction. Find show notes, transcript, and more at thenocturnists.org. The Nocturnists is made possible by the California Medical Association and donations from listeners like you.

Transcribed - Published: 14 November 2024