Failure and Grace with mike Reid, MD
The Nocturnists
Emily Silverman
4.8 • 614 Ratings
🗓️ 23 April 2026
⏱️ 38 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, infectious disease physician and global health leader Dr. mike Reid reflects on a moment early in his career working in Botswana, when a young patient died in front of him despite his efforts to help. The experience brought back a memory from childhood, when he first heard his father quietly describe himself as a failure. In a field where the needs often far exceed the available resources, mike explores how physicians learn to live with doubt, responsibility, and the persistent feeling of not doing enough. Together we talk about the emotional landscape of global health, the role of failure in medicine, and what it means to keep trying anyway.
mike originally performed this story at a live storytelling event produced UCSF Institute of Global Health Sciences as a part of our Satellites Storytelling program.
Looking for more from The Nocturnists? Explore The Nocturnists+, our subscriber-only feed featuring The Nocturnists After Hours—a monthly series where host Emily Silverman is joined by executive producer Dr. Ali Block for more informal, open conversations about medicine, culture, and their own lived experiences. Subscriptions start at just $10/mo and include exclusive discounts on our new merch. Learn more or subscribe at thenocturnists.org/plus.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hey everyone, I hope you're having a wonderful spring. |
| 0:04.4 | In the spirit of renewal, I wanted to share something new that we've been working on. |
| 0:09.5 | It's called The Nocturnous Plus, our new subscriber-only feed. |
| 0:14.9 | With a subscription, you'll get access to The Nocturnous Afterhours, a monthly bonus series featuring original conversations |
| 0:22.5 | between me and our executive producer Ali Block, along with discounts on our new merch and access |
| 0:28.9 | to all of our episodes in one place. To give you a taste of what it's like, here's a clip from |
| 0:35.0 | our very first after-hours episode, where Allie and I talk about |
| 0:38.5 | the ups and downs of being the doctors in our own families. It was my first experience |
| 0:43.5 | where a healthcare provider was sort of using lines on me that I knew. So the biggest thing |
| 0:50.6 | was he was trying to transfer my dad out of the neuro ICU. I was trying to argue that |
| 0:54.4 | he was not ready to go to the floor. And I'm sure you're very familiar with this line. This ICU |
| 1:01.3 | doc said what we say to patients in the hospital all the time, which is, you know, it's really |
| 1:05.9 | much safer for your dad to be somewhere else. He could get an infection. He could get a DVT. |
| 1:11.5 | And I was just like, don't pull that with me. I know those lines. That's the nocturnous after |
| 1:17.3 | hours. We're really excited to see how the series evolves. It's been really fun so far. |
| 1:23.0 | And would love to hear your ideas, questions, and suggestions along the way. |
| 1:33.4 | If you want to join us in this new corner of our community, take a visit to the nocturness.org slash plus. |
| 1:36.1 | Subscription start at just $10 a month. |
| 1:39.1 | And now, on to today's episode. |
| 1:44.6 | At the nocturness, we are careful to ensure that all stories comply with healthcare privacy laws. |
| 1:48.0 | Details may have been changed to ensure patient confidentiality. |
| 1:51.9 | All views expressed are those of the person speaking and not their employer. |
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