The Complete Guide to Everything

It's a classic Sweeps Week episode of TCGTE, so we're talking about the company that measures who's watching and listening to stuff. And how's this for a dramatic plot: Tim has been chosen to be a Nielsen household (a very prestigious honor), making Tom very jealous. Tune in for some classic drama!For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 31 May 2026

This week we are diving spoon-first into the history of America's most famous gelatinous dessert. We break down Jell-O's humble beginnings as boiled animal bones, Kraft Heinz’s plan to eliminate artificial dyes, and why Utah consumes twice the national average of green slop.Also: Tim recounts his terrifying encounters with vending machines in London and Boston and the nightmare that is the Sloppy Joe sandwich. Plus, we brainstorm a new podcast-branded food line.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 24 May 2026

The eggheads over at The New York Times put together a list of the 30 greatest living American songwriters in order to get people to get mad on the internet and it worked! This week we're going through the list and lamenting the lack of Billy Joel and Weird Al on it.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 17 May 2026

This week we’re covering a long-time topic request for the contest that made ABBA and Celine Dion famous: The Eurovision Song Contest. Also, Tim recovers from a stomach bug, the latest in deciphering cat’s brains, and a critique of the financial dynamics surrounding the Howard Stern Show's "Whack Pack."For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 10 May 2026

Tom saw a magic show and his mind was so blown that he hasn't talked about anything else for over a week. So this week, we just turned on the microphones and let him go. We talk about a bunch of magicians and magic shows, and much like Val Valentino -- the Masked Magician himself! -- we break the magician's code and reveal some of magic's biggest secrets.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 3 May 2026

This week Tom turns another year older. We explore the history of birthday parties (a surprisingly recent invention born of 19th century consumerism), the decades-long legal battle over who owned "Happy Birthday to You," and the unsettling data showing you're more likely to die on your birthday. Also: the latest update to the Meet the Parents’ franchise.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 26 April 2026

This week, we take the show underground (LITERALLY!) after we experienced the splendor of the subterranean world. We talk about the difference between caves and caverns, how certain caves are a part of show business, and the surprisingly bloody history of the Kentucky Cave Wars.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 20 April 2026

It's been 54 years since anyone's been to the moon and we're finally sending people back up there. Well, near the moon. This week we break down the Artemis II mission, NASA's first crewed flight beyond low Earth orbit since 1972, featuring the crew's Severance Halloween costumes, the Canadian who got a free ride, and one astronaut's prophetic tweet about dreaming of lunar orbit. Also: Tom's harrowing trip to the DMV, the middle-aged man speedball, descenders, and whether you'd get space madness within the first hour.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 12 April 2026

Hot on the heels of April Fools' Day, we're being mischievous little imps and causing all sorts of trouble with our pranks. We talk about the best pranks ever pranked, whether or not pranks are mean and/or dumb, and recall some of the infuriating pranks played on us over the years.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 5 April 2026

This week we're talking about everyone's favorite Canadian Goose, Ryan Gosling. We cover his early days corrupting children on the Mickey Mouse Club alongside Justin Timberlake, his commitment to gaining 60 pounds in for a role he promptly got fired from, and why he might be the only guy left who can carry a movie on pure charm alone.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 29 March 2026

This week we're talking about Medieval Times. Not the actual times, but the place people go in modern times to eat food with their hands and watch people dressed as knights fight each other on horses for couple hours. They also give out paper crowns to everybody, not just kids.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 22 March 2026

Now that it’s just the boys again, we’re mogging on all of the softmaxxers this week. You know the type, the ones that don’t even bonesmash. This week we’re diving into the strange, sometimes okay, but often sad world of Looksmaxxing.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 15 March 2026

Tim is back and the gang's all here! This week Christine sticks around for one more episode to discuss Trios with Tim & Tom, and things get strangely chaotic. We go through famous trios in history and pop culture, and talk about what Tim got up to during his parental leave. A trio talkin' trios, what could be better than that?For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 8 March 2026

This week we take a look into the ever-shifting world of dating etiquette: the 3-3-3 Rule, the dangers of becoming a "yap-trapper," and why the 1996 film Swingers is to blame for your relationship problems. Plus, a trip back to Elizabethan England to learn about the "armpit apple.”Also: subway baseball teens, the "mystique" of non-New York area codes, and why you should never brag about dating a mid-level podcaster on a first date.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 1 March 2026

It’s something everyone has to do sooner or later, unless you’re wealthy, and that’s waiting in a line. But did you know that the idea of “lines” or “queues” is a modern invention? This week we discuss the pain that is waiting in a line as well as the ethics around cutting, fast passes, multi-lane lines, taking a number, and more. Also, a news report on the price of ketchup.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 22 February 2026

Pigeons are funny little guys you may have seen walking or even flying around. Some people hate them, some people like them, some people judge each individual pigeon on its own merit. This week we talk about NYC’s official bird and we solve some problems concerning airplane encounters and corporate confidence.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 15 February 2026

Stop being a Victorian fuddy-duddy and open up that umbrella inside, baby! This week we’re disrupting everything you thought you knew about umbrellas. Also, a look at the patent process and Tom gets an app for Dumbasses personally recommended to him.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 9 February 2026

Despite covering THREE 90s Daytime Talk Show hosts last week, there are still more! This week we talk Montel, Donahue, Sally Jesse, Maury, and Geraldo (not the Rico Suave one). Also, we solve a couple of listener problems concerning Staycations and Grocery Store Over-Familiarity.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 2 February 2026

This week Christine and Tom discuss the trashiest era of daytime talk shows: the early 1990s. We’re talking’ Jerry Springer, Jenny Jones and “the voice of Gen X” Ricki Lake. Also, we solve listener problems concerning a potential Transylvanian wedding and a workplace donut dilemma.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 25 January 2026

Christine joins Tom this week to discuss her favorite place: Supermarkets. We discuss the various psychological tricks they use, Christine shares a truly harrowing milk story and we solve a listener’s problem with their in-office Sausage Fest.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 18 January 2026

The Consumer Electronics Show happened this week, and we’re here to fill you in on all of the latest advances in toilets, vacuums, and knives. We also discuss the new Lego Smart Brick, folding displays, and Trap Houses.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 11 January 2026

Want to optimize your body's performance by doing a bunch of weird things? Well then, it's time to start biohacking, baby! This week we're talking through all the ways people are living their best lives through cold plunges, pills and unusual coffee drinks.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 4 January 2026

We’re still in the Holiday grindset this week and going over the year that was. We discuss what the kids are into (Labubu and saying 6-7), what the adults are into (the Megan 2.0 dance) and make a startling prediction for 2026. Also: Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce Engagement, First American Pope, Coldplay Kiss Cam Scandal, Anora, Portable Saunas, Cold Plunge, Oasis Reunion, TikTok Sale, The Floor, The Weakest Link, and the Muppet Christmas Carol.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 28 December 2025

It just wouldn't be the holiday season if we didn't send pieces of folded up paper with well-wishes to everyone we know. This week we're talking about Christmas cards, and please brace yourself for some scorching hot takes about this controversial topic.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 21 December 2025

This week we’re discussing the hottest Holiday Toys of 2025. We’re talking Labubus, Nintendo Switch 2, LEGO Minifig Vending Machine, Bitzees, Hatchimals, DJ Furby, and a bunch of other stuff that sounds made-up. Also, we consider switching to whale oil for the winter.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 14 December 2025

Shhhh... keep your voice down! This week we're talking about Secret Santa, and the last thing we need is someone blabbing about it all over town. You know that thing where you buy a co-worker or friend a gift anonymously for some reason? Yeah, that's the topic this week, but keep it under your hat. We also solve a problem for an enterprising young man who sent a theme song along with his email. That part of the show isn't a secret, so tell whoever you want.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 7 December 2025

Can you read this? If not, you might need glasses. This week we’re talking about spectacles, bifocals, and progressives. We also discuss the history of eyewear, from Nero watching gladiators through an emerald to what makes X-Ray specs work. Also, we once again consider going to the Sphere. NEW MERCH NOW AVAILABLE! Check out store.tcgte.com for shirts, hats, mugs and more!For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 30 November 2025

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, so this week we are discussing the 99th Annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. We dive into the history of the event, from the years when they let live tigers from the zoo roam the streets to the time Popeye dumped hundreds of gallons of water on the crowd.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 23 November 2025

Ripped from the headlines, just two weeks after it ended, we're discussing Daylight Saving Time. Nobody's quite sure why we do it, people seem to hate it and it kinda messes things up for a few days, but only Richard Nixon was brave enough to do something about it and look what happened to him.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 16 November 2025

In a real “ripped from the headlines” episode, Tim has jury duty this week. Also, we discuss who would be the better cult leader and generally just hang out in cyberspace.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 9 November 2025

Halloween Month™ may be over, but we still have some creepy crawly stuff we wanna talk about. Tom has a lot to say about spiders and a lot of myths he wants to bust, so sit back and let him regale you with tales of our eight-legged friends.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 2 November 2025

Whether it’s The Old Hag, the Hat Man, the Greys, demons, or just some guy sitting on your chest, no one likes to wake up and find they can’t move. It’s inconvenient at best and horrifying at worst. For our Halloween Month finale, we’re talking all about sleep paralysis, lucid dreaming, lawnmower videos. Also, we discuss the scariest episode of Ghost Adventures yet.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 26 October 2025

Halloween Month™ continues with a discussion of the famous occultist, poet, mountaineer and fancy little rich boy Aleister Crowley -- a guy who practiced black magic and eventually went on to haunt the members of Led Zeppelin.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 19 October 2025

“Curses to you!” Is what you WON’T be saying after you listen to this week’s episode, all about Curses! Halloween Month continues this week as we discuss why we call swears curses and what actual curses are out there ruining peoples’ days. We talk about the Hope Diamond, the 27 Club, the Kennedy Curse, and Tim’s Ke$ha/Jeopardy synchronicity. Also, we catch up with what the Venga Boys have been up to over the last 30 years.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 12 October 2025

We're kicking off Halloween Month™ with just about the scariest thing you can imagine: The Boogeyman. He's always lurking in the shadows, in your closet or under your bed, so there's a pretty good chance he'll grab you and kill you one day. Listen to this episode so you know what to expect when it happens to you.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 5 October 2025

Your favorite Hobbyists are back to discuss hobbies that were recommended to them by a fancy computer. Will we learn new and exciting hobbies, or are their brains too hard at this point?For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 28 September 2025

Two of America's foremost hobbyists are here to tell you all about the thing we're most passionate about: hobbies. What are the good ones? What are the bad ones? Which ones make you look coolest? The answers may surprise you.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 21 September 2025

It’s raining, it’s pouring, Tim & Tom are snoring? Well Tim is at least. This week we’re talking about sawing logs and playing the nose trumpet, that’s right we’re talking snoring. We discuss the three biggest celebrity snorers and Tom’s ear crystals are loose.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 14 September 2025

Despite living in an increasingly digital world, many cool people (like us) are going back to physical media sources -- you know, stuff you can really feel. This week we're talking about CDs, records, DVDs, Blu Rays and MiniDiscs because we're old bores who like the way things used to be.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 7 September 2025

One of 90s America’s finest Italian restaurants, Pizza Hut, is staging a comeback. They’ve got the red cups, they’ve got the Tiffany lamps, but what about the salad bar? What about Stuffed Crust? What about Gorbachev? Also, we take a look into an alternate reality where the boys from Entourage take on Osama bin Laden.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 31 August 2025

Keys: we need them to access the important things in our lives, but what do we really know about them? This week we bravely take out our own key rings and unlock the mystery of these mysterious objects.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 24 August 2025

Summer’s almost over but that doesn’t mean it’s too late to go to summer camp with Tim and Tom. This week we talk about our sports summer camp experiences, whether Space Camp produced any real astronauts, and the emergence of adult summer camps. Also, Tim falls down at the playground and gets a boo-boo.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 17 August 2025

Hey, who doesn't love the simple pleasure of crunching on some browned bread? This week we're giving a toast to toast.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 10 August 2025

We're all ears this week. From shit to wax, we're discussing all the things that get get stuck in these little suckers. Also, a recap from middle-aged boys night.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 2 August 2025

This week, Prince of Darkness and all-around nice man Ozzy Osbourne passed away. We discuss his music, his legacy and his cameo in the classic film Austin Powers in Goldmember. Also, Tom recalls the time he met the man himself at a record store.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 27 July 2025

Tom’s on vacation this week and had to make a little trip to the local Urgent Care.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 21 July 2025

Superman's back, and he's not your grandpappy's Kryptonian. The Man of Steel is in the news this week, thanks to a new movie and a new woke attitude. We delve into the history of the character and ask if people are ready for this radically new version of Superman who is optimistic and cares about people.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 13 July 2025

Jeff Bezos got married this week and the entire world couldn't be happier for him. This week we discuss the man, the myth, the bozo. We also manage to cover a few of his very cool and very real friends that were at his wedding.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 6 July 2025

We're digging into the vault for a 2015 episode from the short-lived TCGTE spinoff Pop Everything where we talk about Dolly Parton with fan-favorite friend of the show Christine. We focus on the movies Nine to Five (1980) and Steel Magnolias (1989), but we drink a lot of whiskey and things get a little weird.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 29 June 2025

We're unfortunately unable to record a new episode of TCGTE this week, so instead we're bringing you a fun episode of our Patreon series Books: The Podcast where we discuss the book Catching The Big Fish by David Lynch. We also talk a lot about drugs and how we're afraid of them. We'll be back next week with a new episode of The Complete Guide To Everything.For full-length weekly bonus episodes check out the TCGTE Patreon!Like the show? Rate Us on Apple Podcasts Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Transcribed - Published: 22 June 2025