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Basketball Illuminati

Basketball Illuminati

Count The Dings

Basketball, Sports, Comedy

5 • 1.4K Ratings

Overview

Tired of agenda-driven basketball talk that only offers glimpses of the truth? Wish there was a place you could get the full picture? Basketball Illuminati offers you salvation. Go behind the scenes with exclusive analysis previously restricted from the general public. Fearless NBA Insiders Amin Elhassan and Tom Haberstroh peel back the curtain on why things happen in the NBA.

107 Episodes

Do You Believe... Luka Will Retire A Laker?

Zach Harper, Mo Dakhil and Anthony Mayes are hoping to get hired by Mat Ishbia while Wosny Lambre celebrates his birthday. Watch Do You Believe? On YouTube This week's docket, Do You Believe: Luka will retire a Laker just to spite the Mavericks? Jimmy Butler wanted to go to the Warriors, or just wanted out of Miami? Kevin Durant now wants out of Phoenix? Who DYB gets left out of the Western Conference play-in? Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 6 February 2025

Defense Wins Championships

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes are here to remind you that we predicted Luka to the Lakers TWO YEARS AGO. When Nico Harrison needed to explore the possibility of trading his Slovenian Superstar, he turned to someone he knew he could trust, a confidant and fellow member of Kobe Bryant's inner circle: Rob Pelinka. Dallas lawyer Chris Kratovil did some pro bono work for the Illumination to connect the dots between the Mavericks ownership desiring to open a casino in Texas and the Luka trade. Finally, Truth Teller Marcus Elliott of P3 joins the show to discuss their role in the NBA's new league-wide biomechanics program announced earlier this year. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 5 February 2025

Do You Believe... Winning Is A Mindset?

Zach Harper, Mo Dakhil and Wosny Lambre return to salivate over Cooper Flagg's work ethic. Watch Do You Believe? On YouTube This week's docket, Do You Believe: The NBA should shorten games to 10 minute quarters? LaMelo Ball is an All Star? Draymond is right about KAT fronting Nikola Jokic? Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 30 January 2025

We Run Leagues

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes are baffled by Mac McClung's hesitancy to go for the Dunk Contest 3-Peat. We direct our third eyes toward Adam Silver's Parisian press conference to parse out the hidden truths. Tom Did His Own Research on the most successful teams in the modern era to start two rookies. Plus, an unexpected Randy Livingston deep dive. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 29 January 2025

Do You Believe... Anyone Wants Bradley Beal?

Zach Harper, Mo Dakhil and Wosny Lambre kick off the Basketball Illuminati Expanded Universe. This week's docket, Do You Believe: The Phoenix Suns will be able to move Bradley Beal? Jimmy Butler meant to get suspended again? In the Houston Rockets? Zach LaVine is an All Star this year? Plus Wos recalls an encounter with "Curious Mike" Porter Jr. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 23 January 2025

Football Illuminati

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes have been infiltrated by the NFL. Put Your Buffs On. Who is the Lamar Jackson of the NBA? Tom explains why James Harden isn't the right comp. Truth Teller Kalyn Kahler joins the show to discuss her article that pulled back the curtain on the pattern of coaching agent representation in the NFL. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 22 January 2025

Accountability

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes want to send the Jazz team name back to New Orleans, and play musical chairs to make it happen. A word keeps popping up that has caught our third eye: Accountability. Are Draymond Green, Zion Williamson, and Jimmy Butler truly accountable for their actions? Or simply the consequences? Finally, Amin has an Inconvenient Truth about the NBA's newest statistical metric: Dunk Score. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 15 January 2025

Culture Clash

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes give JJ Redick some advice on how to respond to Charles Barkley's impromptu rant against him. The Jimmy Butler situation has escalated, and Tom connects the dots between Bradley Beal's benching in Phoenix and the family ties that could send him to Detroit. Truth Teller Jorge Sedano joins the show to discuss the state of Heat Culture, his top 5 Heat players of all time and if he can do more push-ups than Pat Riley. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 8 January 2025

Kings Without A Brown

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes got LeBron a 40th birthday present: A D'Angelo Russell trade back to Brooklyn. Six months after signing a 3 year contract extension, and a little more than year removed from winning Coach of the Year, Mike Brown was fired by the Sacramento Kings. Then Truth Teller Ethan Strauss of House of Strauss joins the show to discuss the NFL's attack on NBA Christmas and the evolution of the ratings landscape. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 1 January 2025

Sam Prestidigitation

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes are here to remind you about the LeBron James of Feet and his Healing Hans. Recently crowned the top front office in the NBA, Amin has an Inconvenient Truth about Sam Presti's magical draft pick acquisitions. Finally, Truth Teller Jake Fischer makes his triumphant return to the podcast to discuss Dennis Schroder to the Warriors, the future of the NBA Cup and potential European expansion. You can read more of Jake's coverage entering a busy trade season at https://marcstein.substack.com/ Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 18 December 2024

Jokic Industrial Complex

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes have discovered another member of Michael Jordan's inner circle (besides Amin, who joined in October). An intrepid conspiracist (@FrankBurner222) has unveiled a theory he claims to be the biggest scam in sports: Nikola Jokic's fraudulent manipulation of analytics nerds to farm MVPs. Finally, it happened folks, LeBron's quest to play all 82 games this season came to an end... or did it? Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 11 December 2024

Help Is Coming

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes solve the problem that Will Hardy faced while trying to call a timeout in crunch time against the Lakers. Anthony Edwards is tired of his teammates having their own agendas, wants everybody to have the same agenda. But who specifically is he talking about? LaVar Ball is back in our lives, telling the Hornets not worry and promising that 'Help Is Coming'. Who is HE talking about? Enough with the vagueness ; Basketball Illuminati is here to connect the dots! Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 4 December 2024

Coachspeak

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes investigate a variety of frustrated coaches word choices after their teams got blown out. How should you behave after a loss? Reports of the 76ers team meeting last week were leaked in incredibly descriptive detail shortly after it took place. What motivations drove the rat or mole to share this information? Tom Did His Own Research on Donovan Clingan's consecutive games with a block to start his career, that placed him in interesting company. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 27 November 2024

Phantom Fouls

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes discuss the implications of TNT's 'Inside the NBA' being broadcast on ESPN. This past weekend featured a heavy dose of the NBA taking accountability for bad calls in their Pool Reports & Last Two Minute Reports. Most aggrieved were the Bucks, who capped off a week of referee contention with a $25k fine for Doc Rivers and an Illuminati coded Thanasis tweet. Then we bring in Truth Teller Brandon Payne of Accelerate Basketball to take us behind the curtain of the Warriors hot start and Steph Curry's continued excellence at the age of 36. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 20 November 2024

Do You Believe?

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes check in on Woj's dormant twitter account and discover signs of life. The Lakers dreamy 3-0 start to the season has faded into a more true to life 6-4 record with some bumps and bruises along the way. However, this hasn't stopped Dream Journal LeBron sharing tales from his mind palace, that all seem to involved Duke for some reason. Tom did his own research on the surge in star player injuries and how it stacks up on the recent past. In our new segment "Do You Believe?", we put the undefeated Cavaliers and struggling Bucks under the microscope. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 13 November 2024

Where's The Beef?

Codebreakers abound this week on Illuminati. We're two weeks into the NBA season and some long simmering pots have come to a boil. In Charlotte, Grant Williams was ejected after he hip checked former teammate and alleged friend Jayson Tatum, ruining their dinner plans that evening. In Philadelphia, local columnist Marcus Hayes incited the wrath of Joel Embiid with some transgressive comments about the MVP's family. Finally, Compton's own Truth Teller Travonne Edwards taps in on the words indirectly exchanged between Drake and DeMar DeRozan in Toronto. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 6 November 2024

Centel Intelligence

Way back in March of 2022, Tom Amin and Mayes interviewed the entrepreneur behind Ballsack Sports, who was changing the social media landscape with his deceptive misinformation. Now we're living in a new era, where any unsuspecting person can get clipped by the Marlo to Ballsack's Avon Barksdale: NBA Centel. We also bring in Wosny Lambre aka Big Wos of the Ringer to discuss an aggrieved Clippers' staffer suing the team, and he reveals a conspiracy surrounding the new Intuit Dome. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED - Check it out here: https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 30 October 2024

Truth Revealed

As the Illuminarmy Generals have broken their year long silence, Tom was the victim of a social media hack and Amin was taken captive on his trip to the Basketball HOF. Tom Did His Own Research on which agencies have the most salary accrued from and the largest volume of players on each team in the association. However, in order to make sense of it, we must explain the Camden Connection. Finally, Truth Teller and Executive Producer Zach Harper joins the show to explain the conspiracy swirling around the WNBA Finals. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 23 October 2024

The Big Bomb Theory

On September 18th, ESPN Senior NBA Insider Adrian Wojnarowski retired to become the GM of the men's basketball program at St. Bonaventure. On October 7th, Woj's former protegĂ© Shams Charania replaced him as ESPN's new Senior NBA Insider. Much like a stunning twist in a season finale of Succession, this shakeup in the news breaker hierarchy came as a surprise to many, but for those with their third eye open, the clues were there. Tom, Amin and Mayes take you back to the point of origin, which led to a chain reaction that played out this summer as the Los Angeles Lakers searched for a new coach. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 16 October 2024

Back Like Jordan, Wearing the 45

The Illuminarmy generals are back! Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes have returned with their third eyes wide open to update the Illumination on a foundation shaking event that transpired while they were underground. In June, Tom discovered statistical irregularities in one of the most important pillars of Michael Jordan's mythology: his 1988 Defensive Player of the Year award. After the bombshell story went viral on Yahoo Sports, detailing evidence of home cooked stats, the startling revelation was clouded amid a morass of Klutch propaganda spurred by Nick Wright. Now, the Illuminati have enlisted Truth Teller and former NSA researcher Justin Jacobs to audit Tom’s findings and set the record straight. Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. Join the Count The Dings Patreon to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at www.patreon.com/CountTheDings Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 9 October 2024

Basketball Illuminati Finds Out

While the rest of the league has been working on bulking up and getting in shape, Media Day has us in our feelings thanks to Jimmy Butler's new look. Damian Lillard to Milwaukee, Jrue Holiday to Boston, everyone but Tyler Herro to Portland... It was a busy weekend. Meanwhile, Nikola Jokic clocks back in to work. The voice of Basketball Illuminati himself Pablo Torre is here to share how he found out about the inciting phrase from Jordan Poole that elicited the infamous Draymond Green punch. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 4 October 2023

Tough Guy Talk

Dwyane Wade has started a campaign to tell every other superstar player that they were the reason he called and asked LeBron to take his talents to South Beach. The Warriors finally solved their depth issues... By bringing in renowned bleeping tough guy Rodney McGruder instead of Juan Toscano Anderson? Finally, limited fake Tim Bontemps Did His Own Research, surveying league insiders about who's gonna win the title, while Amin has some inconvenient insight into that investigation. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 27 September 2023

September to Remember

An intrepid Twitter researcher @OtownNBA compiled a list of players that have racked up the most 'Bang!' calls by Mike Breen in the last decade. As the Damian Lillard saga drags on towards training camp, the Illuminati look back at the greatest September trades in history, including an NBA Finals loser bringing in a star that propelled them to a title. Then Tom Did His Own Research on which cities in the NBA had the highest and lowest participation rate by star players, meaning how likely they are to play when they come to town. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 20 September 2023

NBAARP

The day after Novak Djokovic celebrated his 24th title and honored Kobe Bryant with a Mamba Forever shirt, Aaron Rodgers tore his achilles wearing the number 8. What is going on in NY? The league's competition committee is incorporating a new fine system to govern star player rest, however there are a plethora of exceptions, which we are calling the NBA Acceptable Rest Protocol. Team USA came up short of the bronze medal against Canada, so Tom Did His Own Research and put together 4 teams worth of players that could compete with Anthony Edwards and company. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 13 September 2023

Screwy Lewis in the News

Andre Drummond makes a bold proclamation about his career and hall of fame status, so the Illumination digs into the numbers behind his claim. Despite a brief hitch in their giddyup against Lithuania, Team USA rolled Italy in the FIBA quarterfinals, and there might be a motivational factor hiding in plain sight. Finally, back at the end of May, we brought on a Truth Teller that connected the dots on Referee Eric Lewis' burner account. Lo and behold, three months later, he retired and vanished into the wind. What happened? Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 6 September 2023

World Champions

Paul George has thrown his proverbial hat in the ring, so the Illuminati compares his Chucky Barkley impression to Kenan Thompson and Aries Spears. Sprinter Noah Lyles incites the wrath of the NBA comments section, Rondae Hollis-Jefferson is the Kobe of Jordan, and Rudy Gobert takes accountability for France being eliminated from the FIBA World Cup. Tom Does His Own Research on last year's Ref Score, which teams were assigned the most experienced referees and predicts which team jump up for in the upcoming season. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 30 August 2023

The New York Dicks

A former NBA social media employee took to Facebook to air his grievances and promote his new consulting business after asking how to log out of the official NBA account. The James Harden saga continues with a healthy hundred thousand dollar fine from the association, but DA Amin Elhassan takes the case to defend him in Illuminati Court. Finally, do the NY Knicks have a serious grievance with a former employee bringing alleged proprietary information to the Toronto Raptors and breaking the code, or are they just being dicks about it? Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 23 August 2023

Knights of the Triangular Table

Kyrie Irving is back in a big way, driving content on all segments of this show, and revealing his sworn fealty to a lord by wearing a certain number. Amin reports back from his experience at the Hall of Fame induction this past weekend, and tries to share credit with Curt Gowdy Media Award winner Marc Spears. James Harden broke the code on his dissatisfaction with the 76ers by calling Daryl Morey a liar, so we decode what Daryl was lying about and where this situation is headed. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 16 August 2023

Mid Level Bread

Tom has started a new Substack, The Finder, and we want you to find out why. Kevin Garnett is wondering where the all the mid level bread is located, so we head to the Illuminati bakery to prove that there's a lot more out there than you might think. Paolo Banchero is suiting for Team USA in this FIBA World Cup, and Amin unveils the truth of why he left Italy's national team behind in a quite inconvenient fashion. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 9 August 2023

Leveraging Value

Anthony Edwards is changing his jersey number, causing us to dip back into our numerology bag of tricks to interpret the significance. Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson are out while Doc Rivers and Doris Burke are in as ESPN shakes up their NBA Finals commentator team. Admiral of the IllumiNavy and Economics Professor Scott Kaplan joins the show to discuss his paper discussing 'The Distributional Impact of Maximum- and Minimum-Level Contracts on Player Compensation' Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 2 August 2023

Robin Ficker's Therapy Couch

In the doldrums of the summer, we turn back the clock in an interview with the legendary heckler Robin Ficker, although he objects to that term. Way back on January 25th, in our 'Stan Spittin' episode, we discussed the legacy of the Washington Bullets fan who stood toe to toe with Michael Jordan from his seat behind the visitor's bench. Now the 80 year old Maryland resident joins us on the podcast to share his therapeutic methods, the one player that was immune to his efforts and how David Stern targeted him personally. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 26 July 2023

Height Fraud

LeBron James has changed his number from 6 to 23 out of respect for Bill Russell in the midst of un-retiring out of respect for Michael Jordan. Joel 'Troel' Embiid had some curious comments at the Uninterrupted Film Festival, is he possibly in an empire state of mind? Victor Wembenyama is deflating his height from 7'5" to 7'3", and he's not the only athlete to do so. You won't want to Skip this segment. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 19 July 2023

Small Sample Size Theater

Ballsack Sports has evolved to another level, tricking players into believing their own fake stats. Tom contextualizes Victor Wembenyama's Summer League performance by doing his own research on other star debuts. Jeff Teague has become a storytelling podcaster and Gilbert Arenas put Zion Williamson on the spot about his weight. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 12 July 2023

Source Loyalty Program

Free Agency is underway, complete with a splash of Trade Demands to keep things interesting. Read these reports with a cautious third eye, Illumination, in order to parse the true machinations at play. Does your favorite news breaker have a rewards program depending on how many miles their sources accrue? We break down all the loyalty tiers. A new Amateur NBA Analyst also threw his hat into the ring. Is it a ghost of free agency past, or a new bloke from across the pond? Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 6 July 2023

Draft Gradeys

Victor Wembenyama has a direct line to the Universe thanks to a wide open third eye. Brandon Miller is a Hornet after some buzz moved the betting lines, and Fat Joe really wants us to know he likes Dick from Kansas. Jake Fischer of Yahoo Sports returns as Truth Teller to give us the inside track on the upcoming free agent frenzy, teams afraid of the second apron and Dame scenarios. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 28 June 2023

Scooting Drills

Last Friday's news dump going into the weekend included a 25 game suspension for Ja Morant and the finalized sale of the Charlotte Hornets. The Bartelstein family celebrated Father's Day in a very public way this year as Bradley Beal was traded to Phoenix, while a shadow GM is taking the Suns in a different direction. Brandon Payne of Accelerate Basketball returns to the program to give us the scoop on Scoot Henderson's training and workout with Steph Curry before this year's draft. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 21 June 2023

Nikola Jok-Ish

Ja and Zion, the crown jewels of the 2019 draft, have been attracting attention off the court for all the wrong reasons. Is that draft cursed? What about 2nd overall picks? Denver has climbed to the mountaintop due to Nikola Jokic's workmanlike effort, as the Heat sink back to sea level and a summer of Damian Lillard rumors. Tom did his own research on Wake Forest journeyman and folk hero Ish Smith, using this Nuggets championship as an opportunity to leave no stone unturned. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 14 June 2023

Untrained Eyes

Kyrie Irving is hitting the recruiting trail, trying to lure LeBron to join him and Luka in Dallas, but if you've had your third eye open for a while, you already knew that. Amin continues to search for the mythical Jokic brothers and the Illumination Loves the adjustments the Heat have made so far in this series. Finally, take a trip to Research Town, where Tom digs into Erik Spoelstra's comments about Nikola Jokic, hoping to train your eyes to see Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 7 June 2023

What About Bob?

The Finals are here, the Heat made history that the Celtics fell just short of, and there's a mysterious blackout at the new LeBatard Show HQ. Is it all connected? Bob Myers tenure in Golden State has come to an end, albeit a month earlier than anticipated. What's next for the championship architect, and who will fill the void in his absence? Finally, a Truth Teller emerges to share with us how he exposed NBA official Eric Lewis' burner account CuttliffBlair to the masses. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 31 May 2023

The French Connection

A script for this year's NBA playoffs got leaked onto the internet... Or was that all simply part of the script? Victor Wembenyama is headed to San Antonio, just as the Illuminarmy Generals predicted, as we take you through the eurosteps that led Wemby to the Spurs. Tom did his own research on Jimmy Butler's flagrant disregard for technical fouls, while Rudy Gobert has returned from the darkness. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 24 May 2023

Harden the Interruption

The Warriors and 76ers have entered the offseason in spectacular fashion, as James Harden and Doc Rivers add to their legacies of losing. Doc got fired for his troubles, along with seven other coaches this season, and not only do we know the replacement, but Amin has an Inconvenient Truth about the association Tim 'Banned' MacMahon joins the program with his signature theme song to discuss Ja Morant's habitual line stepping in our Truth Tellers segment. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 17 May 2023

Steward Little

There is a corgi out there predicting that the Warriors will come back from a 3-1 deficit against the Lakers, and the Illuminati are worried about containing it's burgeoning third eye abilities. Mat Ishbia, the steward of the community asset that is the Phoenix Suns, found himself in a controversial spotlight after an encounter with Nikola Jokic on Sunday. After some peculiar comments by Jalen Rose and Mike Greenberg regarding Miami's climate, Tom does his own research into the teams with the best and worst playoff home court advantage. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 10 May 2023

Kitchen Sink Trades

It's time to pat ourselves on the back for predicting that Knicks-Heat VI would take center stage on ABC during the second round. The Illuminati explore the history of trading everything but the kitchen sink for a star player and determine who is responsible for this trendy trade technique. Tom did his own research on one of every seed, 1 through 8, advancing in the playoffs, something that has never happened before. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 3 May 2023

Knicks - Heat VI

One day after we shed light on the Tony Brothers / Spencer Dinwiddie situation, they shared the court in Brooklyn for a game full of ejections. This year's first round of the playoffs has provided us with a litany of surprising series, and the Illuminarmy Generals reveal which is the rarest of them all. Amin has found the solution to the NBA's ratings woes, D'Angelo Russel has a special drink, and Tom did his own research on Joel Embiid's falling habits. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 26 April 2023

Statistical Noise

I don't know if you heard, but Draymond Green is back at it again with the flailing limbs. The Athletic has a new player poll with some rather interesting results for best and worst fans, most underrated player and most importantly greatest player of all time (that includes one vote for Tracy McGrady). Then Tom finally gets back to doing what he does best: his own research! And he brings in wonderful statistician Sam Cook to sift through the randomness. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 19 April 2023

Everybody Hates Rudy

We tried to tell you last week about the Mavericks tanking and Gobert's angst, but it was so obvious that we didn't know how deep the Rudy rabbit hole was going to go. The Illumination has no intent to injure Rudy in a week where he is suspended while hurt. MVP Tracker Max Croes joins the program to explain how he scours the media for data to connect the dots on who people are voting for in the major NBA Awards categories. So if you want to keep your third eye firmly shut, definitely don't check out our Truth Teller this week and wait to find out who won MVP next month like everyone else. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 12 April 2023

Unintended Consequences

Rudy Gobert is starting to get really frustrated, and we get it. It's so obvious that Minnesota is not getting the respect they deserve. Less than two months after acquiring Kyrie Irving, the Dallas Mavericks are on the brink of shutting it down for the season to preserve their top ten protected 2023 draft pick. Truth Teller Keith Smith of Spotrac joins the program to help us parse the new Collective Bargaining Agreement details that have been announced and identify the unintended consequences of the major changes to the league. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 5 April 2023

Fraud Alert

Bradley Beal got into an altercation with an angry gambler and Tom has to clarify his aggregated statements from last week in regards to Ben Taylor. Everyone is being cryptic about the alleged 'LeBron James of Feet', so the Illuminarmy deploys their expert codebreakers to find the identity of this mystery doctor. Investment fraud attorney Chase Carlson joins the program as a Truth Teller to discuss the prevalence of fraudulent financial advisors and strategies to help address this rampant issue in professional sports. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 29 March 2023

Mental Health

Mario Chalmers is back making waves in the news by telling everyone not to be afraid of the Big Bad Bron, and certain politician has his back. Michael Jordan is engaged in serious talks to sell his majority stake in the Charlotte Hornets. What does this mean for their chances in the Wembanyama lottery? Chris Herring of Sports Illustrated joins the program to navigate the thorny waters of the Ja Morant situation, especially in regards to players advantageously invoking mental health in serious matters in our Truth Tellers series. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 22 March 2023

Out Indefinitely

The NBA officially announced a partnership with Hawk-Eye Innovations, but citizens of the Illumination knew this was coming months ago. Ja Morant and Andrew Wiggins are superstars without a timetable to return, a nebulous designation that keeps us guessing, while Kyrie Irving has exited the lineup and resurfaced on Twitch. Truth Teller Don Vaden of Third Side Coaching rejoins the program to help us understand the referee perspective on the altercation at the end of Kings-Bucks and Fred VanVleet's comments about Ben Taylor. Subscribe to Basketball Illuminati! On Apple or Spotify Merch: Shirt - Hoodie - Tank - Hat - Beanie Email us: [email protected] Twitter: @bballilluminati Instagram: @basketballilluminati Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 15 March 2023

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