Tallest Man in Short League

Basketball Illuminati

Count The Dings

Sports, Comedy, Basketball

5 • 1.4K Ratings

🗓️ 10 December 2025

⏱️ 111 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Tom Haberstroh, Amin Elhassan and producer Anthony Mayes have their third eyes open to Kalshi and Polymarket endorsing sports parody accounts like Ballsack Sports. Comedian Joe Zimmerman joins the program to discuss his revolutionary proposal to solve height fraud and fix competitive basketball once and for all. We also figure out what constitutes a comedian draft class, why a comedy sports show has never taken off and when the high five was invented. ⁠⁠Subscribe to the Illuminati YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Channel⁠⁠ Basketball Illuminati is now part of the Count The Dings Network. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Join the Count The Dings Patreon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to support the show, get ad free episodes and exclusive content at⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/countthedings⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ILLUMINATI MERCH HAS RETURNED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ - Check it out here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/CTDMERCH⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow Basketball Illuminati! On⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email us: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@bballilluminati⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@basketballilluminati⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You know, when I started this podcast, it felt like I had to become 10 people overnight.
0:05.3	Producer, editor, marketer, designer. It was a lot. And I kept thinking, I wish I had someone in my
0:12.1	corner to help me figure this out. That's why I love today's sponsor, Shopify. It's like
0:16.7	having a built-in business partner. Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide, from giants like Jim Shark to scrappy
0:24.7	upstarts just getting going.
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0:46.3	Turn your big business idea into with Shopify on your side. Sign up for your $1 per month trial
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0:56.2	com.com.com.com slash glassbox. Go to shopify.com.com.com.com.com.
1:02.6	Shopify.com.com.com. Hey, listener. It's Zach Harper, Amina Alhassen, and Anthony Mays of
1:10.3	Cynophob. You may be asking Anthony Mays of Cynaphobe.
1:11.1	You may be asking yourself, what is Cinephobe?
1:13.5	I mean, would you like to fill in the people? Cinephope is the podcast for Zach and I watch movies that are poorly rated on Ron Tomatoes and try to ascertain. You're trying to ascertain? Yes. Okay. Accertain. Whether or not they're accurately poorly rated
1:25.6	Or maybe they didn't get a fair shake
1:27.2	Cinephope produced by this guy Anthony Mace
1:29.4	Hey, that's me, I produced this show
1:31.3	I'll see Whether or not they're accurately poorly rated, or maybe they didn't get a fair shake. Cinephope produced by this guy, Anthony Mays. Hey, that's me. I produced this show. I also watched the movies, even though that wasn't included in the description. And I also ascertained. This month is... Whoa. Oh, Maze, why do you say that? Supercharge it. So that this promo can remain evergreen. McAvity! I feel like explaining a little bit more. In 60 seconds? I don't know. Maybe I don't bring attention to it. Assuring people like, look, if you listen, you're going to get it. Just give it time. That's a good promo. Just listen to it. Give it time. You'll figure it out. Is this the promo right now?
2:01.4	Isn't it?
	...

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