The Art of Charm

In today's episode, we explore the art of conflict resolution, negotiation strategies, and transforming challenging relationships with Dr. William Ury, a distinguished expert in the field of negotiation and conflict mediation. Dr. Ury is the co-founder of Harvard's Program on Negotiation and has nearly 50 years of experience in resolving some of the world's toughest conflicts. His seminal works include the bestsellers "Getting to Yes" and "Getting Past No," which have sold over 5 million copies worldwide. In this episode, we explore insights from his latest book, "Possible: How We Survive (and Thrive) in an Age of Conflict," available now. Join us for an enlightening discussion with Dr. William Ury, where he unravels the nuances of conflict resolution and high-stakes negotiation. How can you turn a seemingly insurmountable conflict into a collaborative opportunity? What are the key techniques to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for tough negotiations? Dr. Ury shares his top strategies for avoiding common negotiation pitfalls and engaging constructively, drawing from his vast experience and groundbreaking work. Discover how to build a "golden bridge" in negotiations and the essential steps to transforming difficult relationships into productive partnerships. What to Listen For Introduction – 00:00 How does Dr. William Ury's extensive background in negotiation and anthropology shape his approach to conflict resolution? What drew Dr. Ury to the field of negotiation and conflict mediation early in his career? How does Dr. Ury define the concept of a "possibilist" and its significance in today's world? Understanding Conflict – 05:02 Why does Dr. Ury believe that more conflict is necessary for growth and change? How does he differentiate between destructive and constructive conflict? What is the importance of "going to the balcony" in managing conflict effectively? The Power of Pausing – 13:04 What role does pausing play in reducing emotional reactivity during negotiations? How can the simple act of pausing transform a negotiation's outcome? What is the magic question you can use to find the best compromise in a negotiation? Building the Golden Bridge – 25:15 What is the "golden bridge" strategy and how can it facilitate successful negotiations? How does listening actively help in building a golden bridge for the other side? Why is it crucial to understand your own objectives and the underlying interests behind them? How can you prepare effectively for a negotiation by considering the other side’s perspective? What You Must Avoid in Negotiations – 30:14 What are the three common pitfalls in negotiation and how can you avoid them? What steps can you take to create a collaborative atmosphere in negotiations? Leveraging Curiosity and Creativity – 33:21 How does curiosity drive creativity in finding solutions during negotiations? What are some effective "what if" questions to ask that open up new possibilities? How can separating evaluation from creation enhance the brainstorming process in negotiations? Transforming Relationships through Conflict – 39:31 How does engaging in conflict with curiosity and respect transform relationships? Why is focusing on long-term relationship building more beneficial than seeking short-term wins? How can understanding and articulating mutual interests lead to successful conflict resolution? The Victory Speech Exercise – 52:23 What is the "victory speech" exercise and how can it shift the negotiation dynamic? How did Dr. Ury use this exercise to help de-escalate tensions between Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un? Why is envisioning the other side’s victory speech a powerful tool in negotiation? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 22 July 2024

In today's episode, we dive into the intricacies of workplace dynamics, career satisfaction, and professional growth with Tessa West, a leading expert in the science of interpersonal communication. Tessa is a professor of psychology at New York University and one of the world's top researchers on social perception. Her acclaimed work includes the books "Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them" and her latest release, "Job Therapy: Finding Work That Works for You" available July 23, 2024. Join us for an insightful conversation with Tessa West, where she unpacks the complexities of workplace dynamics and career satisfaction. How can you turn a difficult coworker into an ally? What are the exact questions to ask when networking to ensure you land the best job offers? Tessa shares her top strategies for identifying the top 5 career frustrations and navigating them effectively, drawing from her extensive research and personal experiences. Discover how to leverage your network in salary negotiations and the critical steps to finding work that truly fulfills you. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does Tessa West's background in social perception and psychology inform her insights on workplace dynamics? What are the psychological tensions people experience at work that Tessa identifies in her book? How can fear of uncertainty and status loss impact career decisions? The Five Key Drivers of Career Frustration – [00:11:59] What are the top sources of career frustration that Tessa outlines in "Job Therapy"? How can understanding these drivers help in navigating career satisfaction? Balancing Fulfillment and Compensation – [00:17:14] What are the common trade-offs between career fulfillment and financial security? How does being embedded at work complicate career changes and personal fulfillment? How can strong team cohesion negatively impact individual recognition and promotion prospects? Strategic Networking for Career Growth – [00:26:45] What specific questions should you ask when networking to explore career fit? How can you create a coherent and compelling narrative of your career journey? What are the risks of taking on non-promotion-relevant roles in search of fulfillment? Articulating Your Contribution to Company Outcomes – [00:38:02] Why is it crucial to understand and articulate how your work contributes to broader company goals? How can you effectively communicate your role in achieving company outcomes? What is the importance of having a broad network beyond your immediate workplace? How can networking outside your organization enhance your career prospects? Asking Tough Questions During Networking – [00:45:15] Why should you ask tough questions about status and promotion prospects when networking? How can feedback from former colleagues provide insights into your career advancement? Effective Networking Strategies – [00:51:27] What practical advice does Tessa give for effective networking? How can you approach potential contacts and ask the right questions to build meaningful connections? Insightful Questions During Job Interviews – [00:56:07] Why insightful questions should you ask during a job interview? What specific questions can help you ensure a good fit with a potential employer? How can embracing awkwardness and having tough conversations lead to finding fulfilling work? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 15 July 2024

In today’s episode, we explore the complex intersections of military service, intelligence work, and mental health with Dave Fielding, a decorated US Army Green Beret turned intelligence officer and mental health advocate. David's distinguished career includes service in high-stakes operations such as Operation Inherent Resolve and Operation Enduring Freedom, earning him a Bronze Star. As the author of Into the Darkness: A Journey of Love, War, and Emotional Freedom, David brings a unique perspective on emotional intelligence, the struggles of returning to civilian life, and the silent battles faced by veterans. Join us for an enlightening conversation with Dave Fielding, where he unveils powerful strategies for navigating the challenges of military life and transitioning to civilian life. How can emotional intelligence transform your relationships and leadership skills? What are the secrets to building rapid rapport across diverse cultures? David shares his personal battle with suicidal thoughts and how he overcame them, offering invaluable insights for those struggling with similar issues. Discover the significance of understanding motivations and learn practical advice that can help you foster stronger connections. Don't miss this episode, filled with heartfelt stories and actionable tips. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does David Fielding's unique background shape his perspective on emotional intelligence and mental health? What pivotal moments in David's career as a Green Beret and intelligence officer define his journey? The Green Beret Secret to Building Rapid Rapport – 12:40 How can understanding motivations help you build instant connections with others? What techniques does David use to create deep connections across diverse cultures? How to Overcome Your Darkest Struggles – 17:40 Why did Dave go from Special Forces to mental health advocacy and what was that shift like? What strategies did David employ to overcome his suicidal thoughts? How can others facing similar struggles find their way out of the darkness? How to Reframe Challenges into Life Changing Opportunities – 33:13 How can reframing your perspective help you tackle seemingly insurmountable challenges? What practical steps can you take to reframe and find meaning in difficult situations? The Power of Understanding Motivations – 43:16 How can understanding the motivations of others improve your leadership and relationships? David discusses the significance of asking “why” in conversations. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 8 July 2024

In today’s episode, we delve into the fascinating world of behavior design with BJ Fogg, a renowned behavior scientist and founder of the Behavior Design Lab at Stanford University. BJ’s pioneering work focuses on understanding and influencing human behavior through innovative models and methods. His groundbreaking research, including the widely acclaimed Fogg Behavior Model and the Tiny Habits method, has been featured in prominent publications such as The New York Times and Forbes. BJ shares his insights on how tiny changes can lead to significant transformations, debunks common myths about habit formation, and offers practical strategies for creating lasting positive behaviors. Join us for an insightful conversation with BJ Fogg, where he reveals the secrets to designing behaviors that lead to lasting change. Discover how tiny habits can transform your life, why common myths about habit formation are misleading, and how to create positive habits effortlessly. Plus, explore the importance of celebration and positive emotions in reinforcing new behaviors. Don't miss this episode packed with practical tips and strategies to help you build habits that stick and achieve your goals! What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the most common myths about habit formation and why they are misleading? What are tiny habits and how can they lead to significant changes? Practical examples of tiny habits you can implement in your daily life. How can you leverage your emotions to rapidly create great habits – 10:57 Why are positive emotions crucial for habit formation? The concept of celebration and how it accelerates habit development. Practical Application of Tiny Habits – 16:01 How do you design tiny habits into your existing routines? Real-life examples of how tiny habits can transform your behavior. The Secret to Breaking Bad Habits – 32:30 Strategies for untangling bad habits and creating lasting change. The three phases of the Behavior Change Master Plan. Technology and Behavior Change – 43:01 How does technology positively and negatively impact your habits? Practical tips for managing screen time and fostering positive behaviors. Tiny Habits for Kids – 49:20 How parents can use tiny habits to instill good behaviors in children. The importance of creating an environment that celebrates and reinforces positive change. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 1 July 2024

In today’s episode, we explore high-value dating with Liesel Sharabi, an associate professor and Director of the Relationships and Technology Lab at Arizona State University. Liesel’s research delves into the impact of communication technologies on romantic relationships, particularly through online dating and mobile apps. Her work, featured in top journals and media outlets like The Wall Street Journal and NPR, examines how AI and virtual reality are reshaping modern romance. Liesel shares her expertise on creating authentic online profiles, managing choice overload, setting realistic expectations, and using AI to find meaningful connections. Join us for an insightful conversation with Liesel Sharabi, where she reveals the secrets to creating an authentic online dating profile that ignites meaningful connections. Discover how to navigate the overwhelming choices on dating apps to make better decisions, manage your expectations, and find serious relationships in the digital world. Plus, explore the game-changing role of AI in modern dating. Don't miss this episode packed with tips and strategies to enhance your online dating experience! What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is Liesel Sharabi, and how did she get involved in the world of dating at an academic level? How did online dating change the way we perceive dating and what we look for in potential partners? The Hidden Impact of Dating Apps on Long Term Relationships – 13:51 How are dating apps hurting your ability to connect on a deeper level with potential partners? What mindset should you adopt if you actually want to find a partner on dating apps and not get stuck in an endless loop of matches that don’t go anywhere? Is more technology really the solution to the dating hellscape – 23:45 What are companies in the dating “industry” doing to solve the problems many people are encountering around loneliness and how are those “solutions” making things worse? Should you use AI to improve your results on dating apps? Are people still meeting other people in real life? – 31:14 What is easier about starting relationships with people you meet in real life and what is harder about starting relationships with people you meet online? How have dating apps changed cultural norms and expectations for each gender? The effects of dating apps on marriage/divorce rates – 41:39 How have dating apps changed the landscape of marriage and long term commitment? What does the future of dating and dating apps look like, and how can you prepare for it? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 24 June 2024

In today’s episode, we help you avoid low value behaviors and master high value ones with AJ and Johnny. In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ and Johnny delve into the dynamics of high and low value behaviors and their impact on your personal and professional relationships. Ever wondered how to take control of your social interactions and ensure they lead to meaningful connections? AJ and Johnny explore the crucial distinctions between high value and low value behaviors, offering practical insights on how to elevate your social value. Learn how to harness the power of responsibility and cooperation, and discover why honesty and generosity are pivotal in forming strong, lasting relationships. How can you balance being cooperative without being taken advantage of? What steps can you take to become a high value individual in every aspect of your life? Tune in to uncover actionable strategies backed by science and real-life experiences to transform your interactions and boost your value. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you identify patterns of high and low value behaviors in yourself and others, and what can you do to change those behaviors in yourself? What specific behaviors lead to long-term success and positive relationships? The 3 low value behaviors you must avoid – 5:36 How to navigate social interactions by giving value and avoiding common pitfalls. What behaviors consistently build strong relationships? The role of attention in building value – 10:14 What is the most powerful (and easiest) form of value you can give when talking to someone? What two behaviors transform your social interactions? Most people miss the connection between value and responsibility – 18:30 Why do high value people seek out more responsibility than everyone else? How do low value people avoid responsibility to shift blame when things go wrong? This one thing is crucial if you want to be high value – 23:52 How does honesty build trust and strengthen relationships? What are the detrimental effects of lying and manipulation on your value and relationships? The long-term benefits of giving value – 28:15 Real-life examples of how giving value without expecting immediate returns can lead to significant long-term benefits. How do you build a supportive social circle that pushes you to succeed and helps you out when you’re going through tough times? Practical Tips for Giving Value – 40:58 Simple and practical ways to give value in everyday interactions. Examples of how giving value can lead to unexpected rewards and strengthen relationships. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 17 June 2024

In today’s episode, we help you identify and avoid low value behaviors with AJ and Johnny. In this episode of The Art of Charm, AJ and Johnny dive deep into the psychology of value and behavior. Have you ever wondered if your actions unknowingly sabotage your social interactions? What behaviors might be holding you back from forming meaningful connections? AJ and Johnny explore how to identify and eliminate low value behaviors that keep you from connecting with others. Discover the three critical elements of value—attention, approval, and acceptance—and learn how to nurture high value behaviors that attract positive relationships. What does the science say about the benefits of being a high value individual? How can you balance being generous without being taken advantage of? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why is understanding value important in forming meaningful connections? What will you learn about identifying and eliminating low value behaviors? What are low value behaviors you need to avoid? – 02:08 What are supplicative behaviors, and how do they manifest in social interactions? How does the victim mentality negatively impact your value? Why is it important to avoid combative behaviors, and how can they harm your relationships? The dangers of social media most people ignore – 14:06 How does social media manipulate our need for attention, approval, and acceptance? What are the dangers of seeking validation through social media? Most people fail to escape this mindset that cripples them – 24:48 Why is a competitive mindset still considered low value? How does the scarcity mindset fuel unhealthy competition? What are the pitfalls of constantly comparing yourself to others? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 10 June 2024

In today’s episode, we dive into the dynamic world of sports and leadership with Craig Robinson. Craig is a distinguished college basketball coach, basketball executive, and podcaster. A former standout player at Princeton, he was twice named Ivy League Player of the Year. Transitioning from a successful finance career, Craig pursued his passion for coaching, leading teams at Boston University and Oregon State University. He has held executive roles with the New York Knicks and Milwaukee Bucks and is now the Executive Director of the National Association of Basketball Coaches. Craig co-hosts the podcast "Ways to Win" with John Calipari, sharing life lessons and strategies from his extensive on-court experience, making his insights valuable beyond the basketball world. Craig Robinson shares his insights on the evolving landscape of leadership and coaching. How has the role of empathy and communication transformed modern coaching? What strategies can you use to build momentum in both your personal and professional life? Craig also delves into his courageous transition from a successful finance career to pursuing his passion for coaching—what challenges did he face, and what rewards did he reap? Additionally, discover practical advice on how to identify and nurture young leaders, manage setbacks effectively, and leverage likability to foster team cohesion. Join us as we uncover these answers and more with Craig Robinson, a leader whose experience spans from the basketball court to the executive office. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is Craig Robinson, and how has his diverse career from finance to coaching shaped his approach to leadership? What are the key differences between the authoritarian coaching styles of the past and the empathetic approaches of today? What motivated Craig to transition from a successful finance career to coaching basketball? Empathy and Communication in Leadership – 19:27 Why is empathy crucial for modern leaders and coaches? How can understanding and meeting people where they are enhance your effectiveness as a leader? Insights from "Ways to Win" Podcast – 25:38 Key takeaways from Craig’s podcast, including building personal relationships with team members and creating a culture of accountability. Lessons from prominent guests like Dave Roberts and Dawn Staley on leadership and team dynamics. Identifying and Nurturing Young Leaders – 30:29 What attributes and talents should you look for when identifying potential young leaders? Strategies for nurturing and developing leadership skills in young individuals. Managing Setbacks and Defeat – 34:17 How can you quickly recover from setbacks and losses in both sports and professional environments? Practical advice on managing the psychological impact of defeat and maintaining a forward-looking mindset. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 3 June 2024

In today’s episode, we dive into the world of human connection with David Robson. David is an award-winning writer specializing in the psychology and neuroscience of human relationships. With a rich background in scientific journalism and a degree in mathematics from the University of Cambridge, David has dedicated his career to exploring the intricate ways we bond and interact with each other. His work has been widely recognized and featured in top-tier publications such as The Guardian, The Atlantic, and BBC Future. David is also the author of The Laws of Connection, a profound exploration into the science behind how we form lasting connections. In today’s episode, David Robson reveals the secrets to building stronger social connections through the latest psychological research. He explains the profound impact of social ties on our physical health, the importance of overcoming the "liking gap," and how to effectively use follow-up questions to create shared realities. David also shares strategies for rebuilding our social skills post-pandemic, the power of expressing appreciation, and how the Benjamin Franklin effect can strengthen our relationships. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is David Robson, and how can his insights on human connection and psychology transform your personal and professional relationships? How do social connections affect your health, and what diseases can they help protect against? Why is it important to recognize and manage ambivalent relationships effectively? What barriers prevent you from connecting with others – 10:40 What is the "liking gap," and how does it prevent you from forming deeper connections? How can you recalibrate your perceptions to overcome these psychological barriers? What questions can you ask to rapidly build deep connections? – 24:24 What types of questions are most effective for building deeper connections? How can you move past small talk quickly to create meaningful conversations? What overlooked expression can drastically improve your relationship with anyone at work and in your personal life? How can you rebuild your social skills post-pandemic? – 47:51 How has the pandemic affected our social skills, and what strategies can help you rebuild them? Why is practicing daily interactions with strangers crucial for maintaining social confidence? What is the Benjamin Franklin Effect and how can it strengthen relationships? – 51:30 What is the Benjamin Franklin effect, and how can asking for small favors strengthen your relationships? How can you apply this effect in your daily life to enhance your social bonds? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 27 May 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle the art of building deep connections with Topaz Adizes. Topaz is an Emmy award-winning director, writer, and experienced design architect. With a background in philosophy from UC Berkeley and Oxford University, Topaz has made significant contributions to the fields of intimacy and human connection through his groundbreaking project, The And. His work has been showcased at prestigious festivals such as Cannes and Sundance, and featured in top publications like The New Yorker and The New York Times. Topaz is also the author of 12 Questions for Love: A Guide to Intimate Conversations and Deeper Relationships. In today’s episode, Topaz Adizes shares why questions are so powerful for creating deep bonds, how to create space for intimate conversations in our lives, when to bring logic in to deepen a relationship conversation, and the secret to developing emotional articulation with your partner. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is Topaz Adizes, and how can his insights on communication and relationships transform your career and personal life? How can asking the right questions unlock deeper connections and enhance your leadership skills? What’s the secret to creating a space where your team or partner feels safe to be vulnerable and authentic? Surprising revelations from over 1200 intimate conversations – 11:00 What surprising revelations did Topaz uncover from over 1200 intimate conversations, and how can they apply to your high-stakes professional environment? Practical tips for emotional articulation – 20:15 How can mastering emotional articulation make you a more effective leader and improve your team’s performance? What are the 12 questions that can revolutionize your personal and professional relationships, and how should you use them? Real-life applications that will change your life – 32:29 How have others used Topaz’s methods to transform their relationships and careers, and what can you learn from their experiences? How can you create intentional spaces for deep conversations that foster trust and innovation within your team? Lessons on communication that no one tells us – 45:11 What techniques can you use to enhance your communication skills and build stronger connections with your team and loved ones? How do different cultures approach intimate conversations, and what can you learn from their methods to improve your own interactions? Why is it crucial to ask better questions in your professional and personal life, and how can this practice accelerate your career growth? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 20 May 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle making friends as an adult with AJ, Johnny, and coach Michael Herold. Delve into the complexities of making and maintaining friendships as an adult. Why do many adults struggle with loneliness and how can propinquity—or the strategic use of proximity—open doors to new and lasting connections? Whether you're a seasoned professional or a social novice, this episode offers actionable strategies to enhance your social life and deepen your relationships. Tune in to discover how you can turn social opportunities into a thriving network of genuine connections, and learn why mastering the Art of Charm is more essential today than ever before. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can understanding propinquity transform your approach to forming social connections? What alarming trends about loneliness were revealed in recent global surveys? How do you start building new relationships and make new friends? – 11:24 How does remote work affect team cohesion and personal relationships at work? What scientific principles can help in forming deep and lasting friendships? Many underestimate the value of this when it comes to making friends – 24:38 How can re-engaging with old hobbies or exploring new passions rejuvenate your social life? What practical steps can you take to weave social opportunities into your everyday activities? What are you doing to push new people away from being your friend? – 34:06 How can recognizing and reducing friction in social interactions facilitate the formation of friendships? What practical steps can you take to lessen the burden on potential friends and make it easier for them to engage with you? How do develop a plan for a vibrant social life – 28:32 What are the benefits of having a structured plan for social interactions? How does consistency in social activities lead to stronger and more meaningful relationships? What practical steps can you take to lessen the burden on potential friends and make it easier for them to engage with you? Introducing the Social Sales Funnel Concept – 44:55 What is the Social Sales Funnel, and how can it help you build a thriving social network? How can hosting a monthly event streamline the process of turning acquaintances into friends? What strategies can ensure the success of such gatherings, encouraging new connections to flourish? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 13 May 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle death with Jodi Wellman. Jodi is a former executive turned executive coach. She has a Master of Applied Positive Psychology from the University of Pennsylvania, where she's an instructor in the master's program and a trainer in the world renowned Penn Resilience Program. And she is the author of You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets. Jodi Wellman reveals essential strategies for transforming your professional stagnation into dynamic success and underscores the importance of quantifying your remaining Monday mornings to infuse purpose into your career, eliminating regrets before they hinder your progress. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can thinking about death enhance your career and life ambitions? Why should you calculate how many Mondays you have left? Focus on this to improve your performance and happiness at work – 10:15 Gain insights on the value of time and how precise awareness of it can enhance your decision-making and prioritization at the managerial or C-suite level Most people are held back from success by their ‘dead zones’ – 18:10 What are 'dead zones' and how can identifying them transform your professional growth and personal fulfillment? How can facing the reality of mortality inspire urgent career and personal development? How does the pandemic influence our perception of time and opportunities for growth? – 26:17 Understand the psychological impacts of COVID-19 on our ambitions and social interactions, with tips for re-engaging with life and work post-pandemic. How do you bake your own 'happiness pie' and take charge of your life satisfaction? – 31:19 How do you start moving from 'dead zones' to 'astonishingly alive zones'? How can the concept of fighting for your life goals redefine your approach to career and personal ambitions? – 42:39 What is the importance of self-compassion and forgiveness in pursuing a life without regrets? Episode Sponsors: Indeed Kajabi Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 6 May 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle mind magic and manifestation with Dr. James Doty. James is an inventor, an entrepreneur, and philanthropist. He is a clinical professor of neurosurgery at Stanford University and the founder and director of Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education with the Dalai Lama himself as the founding benefactor. His new book is titled Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything. We break down the systems in the brain responsible for shaping your beliefs and actions, how you can harness the power of your subconscious mind to reach your goals faster, why you need to visualize your success in detail to make it a reality, And James shares his own experiences with the magic of our mind. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is mind magic and what does science say about the legitimacy of manifestation? This is where most people go wrong trying to manifest their desires – 10:15 Where do most of us go wrong with manifestation versus what should we be focusing on with our manifestation to actually be whole, to be living a rich and fulfilling life? How can we use our neural networks to increase the chances of manifesting what we want? The secret to focusing in a world of neverending distractions – 24:17 How are self-compassion, focus, and manifestation linked together? How should you define success if you are trying to manifest success for yourself or others? What should you focus on if you want to manifest what you want – 34:21 What is the most important aspect of life you need to focus on if you want physical and mental health and a long life? How does commitment to action transform intentions into reality? – 39:06 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 29 April 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle the world of high stakes hostage negotiation in a divided world with Scott Walker. Scott is one of the world’s most experienced kidnapped-for-ransom negotiators. He served 16 years as a Scotland Yard detective specializing in covert policing, then supported organizations, governments, and private individuals in negotiating the release of hostages all over the world, and is the author of his the latest book, Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator's Guide to Influence and Persuasion. You’re going to learn how to prepare for high stakes situations like a hostage negotiator. We discuss how to quickly build rapport with people that you do not share common interests with, what to listen for in negotiations to create a winning outcome, how to develop your emotional intelligence to be successful under stress, and the secrets hostage negotiators use to bring back hostages safely. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How frequently do people get kidnapped and held for ransom? What are the biggest challenges that hostage negotiators face? The first 30 seconds of a hostage situation are crucial for this reason – 15:53 What secret do hostage negotiators use to rapidly build trust with anyone? What 30 second practice do hostage negotiators use to prepare themselves for every high stakes situation? What consequences do kidnappers actually face? – 24:25 How do you cultivate the right mindset to be a master negotiator? What can you do to predict the biggest hurdles you’ll need to overcome in any negotiation? What are the 3 elements to every negotiation and how can you use them in your everyday life to build strong relationships? Most people mistakenly think this is when the negotiation ends – 39:34 How should you think about negotiations on a short- and long-term basis to make sure you don’t hurt your reputation or future potential opportunities? Hostage negotiators have to care about the kidnappers – 48:36 How do hostage negotiators raise their self awareness before entering high stakes situations? How do you master your emotions like a hostage negotiator by simply asking yourself specific questions? What are the biggest takeaways from Order Out of Chaos: A Kidnap Negotiator's Guide to Influence and Persuasion? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 22 April 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle building relationships in a divided world with Dr. Kurt Gray. Kurt is an award-winning researcher and moral psychologist with deep insights into human behavior and polarization. As a professor at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, he directs the Deepest Beliefs Lab and the Center for the Science of Moral Understanding. He is also the author of The Mind Club: Who Thinks, What Feels, and Why It Matters, exploring the intricacies of how we perceive and judge others in society. Have you ever considered how rising polarization affects our ability to forge strong, meaningful relationships? What if bridging the vast divide between differing viewpoints could be achieved by examining our moral compass and the inherent blind spots it creates? Dive into a compelling discussion with Dr. Kurt Gray, who sheds light on the subtle yet profound ways morality shapes our perceptions of others. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are Dr. Gray's strategies for strengthening relationships across ideological divides? How do our default settings of fear and the search for allies affect our political and social views? This is why most people can’t engage in tough conversations – 14:09 Why is it challenging to discuss politics and morality today? What are the key strategies for overcoming polarization and enhancing communication in today's divided world? The secret to bridging political polarization – 24:38 Why is validating someone's views crucial in conversations, and how can it be done without agreeing? Why are personal stories more powerful than facts in changing perspectives? The evolving nature of political identities – 36:17 How have our political identities evolved over time, and what does that mean for our current views? How significant is the overlap of values shared between different political parties, and why is it often overlooked? What misconceptions do we hold about political polarization, and how can understanding the past help us better navigate the present? The predator vs prey narrative in politics – 47:17 How does viewing political opponents as predators or prey affect our ability to engage in meaningful conversations? What are the 3 steps to connecting with people who you disagree with? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 15 April 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle the Ask Approach with Jeff Wetzler. Jeff is a world expert in learning and human potential, has more than 25 years' experience in business and education as a management consultant at the world's top organizations, and is the author of his latest book, Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs In Leadership and Life. Have you ever pondered why analytical thinkers often find themselves at a crossroads in communication and networking? What if the key to unlocking exceptional leadership and life-changing relationships lies in the questions we ask? How can shifting our approach from problem-solving to curiosity-driven conversations revolutionize our connections? Dive deep with us as we explore the Ask Approach, a transformative framework designed to bridge the gap between analytical prowess and emotional intelligence. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who is Jeff Wetzler, and how can his "Ask Approach" transform your leadership skills and life? What holds people back from sharing vital information, and how does it affect decision-making? The secret to strengthening your curiosity muscle – 10:52 Why is curiosity essential for building stronger personal and professional relationships? How can curiosity unlock problem-solving and collaboration in the workplace? Make people feel safe enough to tell you anything – 17:41 What can you do if you want to make people feel safe and comfortable telling you information they normally would not? How to start on the right foot in a new management position – 24:29 What questions can you ask to make sure your team feels safe following your leadership and comfortable enough to help you understand where the weaknesses are in the organization? Is it possible to ask too many questions – 34:14 What types of questions foster deeper understanding? How can you listen more effectively? How can reflecting and reconnecting based on conversations enhance your communication skills? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 8 April 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle attachment with Nicholas Epley. Nick is an expert on human behavior and decision making, a professor of behavioral science and faculty director for decision research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business, the author of the highly acclaimed book Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want. Ever wonder why some people excel in social situations while others struggle? How can understanding the biases that lead us to believe we're effective mind readers of friends and strangers alike transform our interactions? And what simple strategies can we employ to build real connections quickly? Join us as Nick Epley sheds light on these intriguing questions, offering insights from his acclaimed book "Mindwise" and revealing the secret to truly understanding what others think, believe, feel, and want. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the biggest problem that stops us from being able to better understand and predict what other people think? How well do we really know what others think and feel? Dispelling the biggest myth about our brains – 13:36 Why does the biggest myth about how we use our brains continue to persist and why is it wrong? How does perspective drastically change one person’s understanding of a situation and what can you do to alleviate the inevitable friction that difference in perspective causes? The biggest hurdles most people struggle with when reading minds – 18:55 What are the dangers of typing vs. talking in our ability to convey sarcasm and understand each other? How does our prediction of future behaviors or reactions in extreme situations often mislead us? When are stereotypes useful and when are they harmful? Dispelling the biggest myth about political polarization – 35:47 Is the country actually becoming more polarized politically or is something else going on that makes us think we’re becoming more polarized? The importance of direct communication most people miss – 41:59 What is the best way to make any interaction with a stranger into a positive one that can lead to friendship or romance? Most people won’t do this to create deeper relationships in their lives – 58:40 What do most people avoid doing even though it’s the best way to create the deep relationships they want in their lives? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 1 April 2024

In today’s episode, we dive deep into rewriting your life story with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold. How do you rewrite your personal narrative to align with your core values and set meaningful goals for your future? Can understanding and rewriting your story spark real change in your life? This episode of The Art of Charm delves into these critical questions, offering you a unique opportunity to explore the power of storytelling in personal development. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do our brains use stories to predict the future, and why is this relevant to you? How can acknowledging both positive and negative stories shape your future? The Biggest Myth About Rewriting Your Story – 10:36 Why doesn't changing your past narrative work, and what should you do instead? Why isn't revising your past the key to a brighter future? The Most Important Step to Take When Rewriting Your Story – 23:24 Why is your next action step more important than your past narrative? Values vs. Goals: How do they work together to attract success into your life? Recognizing and Acting on Choice Points – 31:00 What are action points, and how can they be game-changers in your life? How to deal with resistance from others as you start to change your narrative? The Critical Role of Self-Compassion in Rewriting Your Story – 37:25 Why is self-compassion important in rewriting your story, and how can you cultivate an empowering level of self-compassion? How can embracing your new narrative and taking action today transform your life? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 25 March 2024

In today’s episode, we dive deep into the essence of leadership and personal transformation with a stellar lineup of guests. Brad Lomenick brings his expertise on impactful leadership and personal growth, drawing from his experience as a consultant and author of influential books including H3 Leadership: Be Humble. Stay Hungry. Always Hustle. We hear from Brett Crozier, whose distinguished career in the US Navy offers invaluable lessons on resilience and integrity. Dan Luna, with his rich background as a Navy SEAL and leadership coach, shares insights on developing leadership skills under pressure. John Mackey, the visionary behind Whole Foods Market, discusses the principles of conscious capitalism and leadership that have guided his successful career. Leadership expert Patrick Lencioni provides practical advice on building effective teams and organizations, while Jake Wood, co-founder of Team Rubicon, talks about the power of vulnerability and integrity in leadership. How can you bust leadership myths and embrace humility, hunger, and hustle to drive success? What are the key traits all leaders need, and how can embracing vulnerability and integrity transform your leadership style? This episode of The Art of Charm answers these questions and more, providing you with the tools and insights needed to become a stronger, more conscious leader. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are common misconceptions about leadership roles and titles? Why is self-leadership crucial in today's career landscape? Most people don’t understand this about group dynamics and leadership frames – 10:10 How does the concept of "herd mentality" apply to leadership and fitting into social environments? Why is focusing on your team or people fundamental to leadership success? How do you master leadership skills in your everyday life? – 19:00 Why is practice crucial in developing leadership skills? What makes conscious leadership different from conventional leadership? How effective leaders deal with criticism and their inner critic – 29:44 What can you do to not feel anonymous in your organization and not be that cog? How can leaders effectively show vulnerability to their team? What are the three things employees need to avoid feeling miserable at work? Leading with integrity and handling no’s – 39:05 What is the importance of facing rejection and criticism for a leader? How can leaders remain steadfast and true to their values in the face of adversity? Traits that make leaders effective – 47:48 How do humility and vulnerability contribute to leadership effectiveness? How should leaders approach crisis situations to maintain team confidence and trust? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 18 March 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle attachment with Dr. Judy Ho. Dr. Ho is a clinical neuropsychologist and a tenured professor and researcher at Pepperdine University, works as a forensic expert and media consultant, and last time she joined us to talk about her book, Stop Self-Sabotage, and today, she's back to talk about her latest book, The New Rules of Attachment: How to Heal Your Relationships, Reparent Your Inner Child, and Secure Your Life Vision. Everyone knows how attachment styles influence romantic relationships, but how do they hold you back in your career, why do you need to understand your attachment style to build healthy relationships, and what can you do to change your attachment style and raise children with secure attachment styles? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is attachment theory and what are the 4 attachment styles? How do parenting styles produce different attachment styles in their children? How to avoid raising insecure children – 13:14 What do you need to avoid to raise children to have a secure attachment style? If you have an insecure attachment style, what can you do to change it to a secure attachment style? How do you change your attachment style – 20:13 What can you do to break the pattern of avoidant attachment and develop a secure attachment style? What are the strengths and weaknesses of the avoidant attachment style? How do I connect with an avoidant attachment style? The secret to living with an insecure attachment style – 33:14 What simple 10 second exercise can you do to accept your attachment style while you’re working to change it so it doesn’t sabotage your relationships? How to deal with your partner’s attachment style – 40:23 What can you do if you’re putting in a lot of work to understand your attachment style and your partner’s, but your partner isn’t interested in doing the same work? What are you supposed to do when a family member’s attachment style creates conflict with yours? Breaking free of your avoidant attachment style in your career – 49:33 How does your avoidant attachment style sabotage your career and your ability to advance? Should everyone be striving to have a secure attachment style? A Word From Our Sponsors Bombas crafts ridiculously comfortable socks, tees, and underwear, and for every item sold, they donate one to help those facing homelessness — over 100 million essentials donated so far. Not only are their clothes designed for ultimate comfort with features like arch support and buttery-soft fabric, but they also ensure customer satisfaction with a 100% Happiness Guarantee for hassle-free returns and exchanges. Ready to get comfy and give back? Head over to Bombas.com/CHARM and use code CHARM for twenty percent off your first purchase! $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/CHARM. Offer good for a limited time. Ready to start your ecommerce business? Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/charm. Grow your business–no matter what stage you’re in. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 11 March 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle slow productivity with Cal Newport. Cal is a leading productivity expert and the author of several best selling books, including a A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload, Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, and So Good They Can't Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love. His newest book is titled Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout. What if slowing down was actually the secret to achieving more? In this episode, we dive into the intriguing world of slow productivity: Can embracing a slower pace truly catapult your career success? What are the three foundational principles of slow productivity, and how can you apply them to revolutionize your work ethic? Moreover, why is transforming your relationship with productivity essential for not just professional achievement, but for crafting a fulfilling life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is pseudo productivity and how does being pseudo productive at work damage your relationships and personal life? What’s wrong with how we think about transparency at work and what is the best level of transparency to maximize team productivity? The evolution of workplace productivity – 13:49 Why did productivity decrease when we have so many tools to be more productive? What can you eliminate from your daily schedule to be 10x more productive than your competition? How do you limit communication to maximize productivity? The reason most people can’t leave their work at the office – 28:18 Why is it important to slow down if you want to increase productivity? What are the 3 biggest takeaways from studying traditional knowledge workers that you can use to maximize productivity? Can you be more productive without using any email? – 40:45 What happpened the productivity of 12 employees in a study where the experimenters disabled their email accounts? What simple framework can you implement on your team to improve transparency, reduce stress, increase productivity, and increase the collaboration between employees and managers? The little known technique to most effectively distribute your team’s workload – 52:23 Why do rude people get promoted faster? What mistake do people make that prevents them from getting promoted without even knowing it? How do you apply slow productivity to being a more productive writer – 1:08:16 What principles of slow productivity should you apply to your writing practice to increase your productivity and efficiency as a writer? What simple trick can you implement in your hybrid work situation to decrease time spent on email, increase communication effectivity, increase meeting effectivity, increase productivity, and increase deep work? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 4 March 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle slow productivity with Cal Newport. Cal is a leading productivity expert and the author of several best selling books, including a A World Without Email: Reimagining Work in an Age of Communication Overload, Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World, Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World, and So Good They Can't Ignore You: Why Skills Trump Passion in the Quest for Work You Love. His newest book is titled Slow Productivity: The Lost Art of Accomplishment Without Burnout. What if slowing down was actually the secret to achieving more? In this episode, we dive into the intriguing world of slow productivity: Can embracing a slower pace truly catapult your career success? What are the three foundational principles of slow productivity, and how can you apply them to revolutionize your work ethic? Moreover, why is transforming your relationship with productivity essential for not just professional achievement, but for crafting a fulfilling life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is pseudo productivity and how does being pseudo productive at work damage your relationships and personal life? What’s wrong with how we think about transparency at work and what is the best level of transparency to maximize team productivity? The evolution of workplace productivity – 13:49 Why did productivity decrease when we have so many tools to be more productive? What can you eliminate from your daily schedule to be 10x more productive than your competition? How do you limit communication to maximize productivity? The reason most people can’t leave their work at the office – 28:18 Why is it important to slow down if you want to increase productivity? What are the 3 biggest takeaways from studying traditional knowledge workers that you can use to maximize productivity? Can you be more productive without using any email? – 40:45 What happpened the productivity of 12 employees in a study where the experimenters disabled their email accounts? What simple framework can you implement on your team to improve transparency, reduce stress, increase productivity, and increase the collaboration between employees and managers? The little known technique to most effectively distribute your team’s workload – 52:23 Why do rude people get promoted faster? What mistake do people make that prevents them from getting promoted without even knowing it? How do you apply slow productivity to being a more productive writer – 1:08:16 What principles of slow productivity should you apply to your writing practice to increase your productivity and efficiency as a writer? What simple trick can you implement in your hybrid work situation to decrease time spent on email, increase communication effectivity, increase meeting effectivity, increase productivity, and increase deep work? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 4 March 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle meaning and purpose with Samuel T Wilkinson. Sam is a professor of psychiatry at Yale University, an associate director of the Yale Depression Research Program, and the author of his latest book Purpose: What Evolution and Human Nature Imply about the Meaning of Our Existence. In this episode, we explore the two sides of human nature and how they guide us to find our true purpose. We dive into free will's role in achieving a good life, look at how committed relationships affect our happiness, and share new scientific findings on evolution that help explain our life's meaning. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How does understanding the duality of human nature enhance your leadership and communication strategy? Is our success and decision-making process truly random, or is there an underlying order that can be leveraged for personal growth? How do different religious beliefs about free will influence our life choices and purpose? – 14:48 Can exploring various beliefs on free will unlock a deeper sense of purpose and direction in life and career? What are the implications of Monogamy vs. Promiscuity on society and personal well-being? – 20:10 How do shifting norms around relationships impact societal stability and individual well-being? How do relationships define our happiness and purpose, according to the longest running study on human development? How do deep meaningful relationships fuel our search for purpose? – 33:00 How do relationships and attachment theory play a critical role in finding purpose and fulfillment? What are the actionable steps to deepen your connections and harness the power of meaningful relationships in your personal and professional life? How does parenthood reshape our priorities and enhance our sense of purpose? – 40:16 How does parenthood transform one's priorities and contribute to a greater sense of purpose and societal contribution? What are the unique rewards and challenges of raising children, and how do they impact personal growth and career advancement? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 26 February 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg. Charles is a Pulitzer prize-winning reporter, writer for The New Yorker magazine, and the author of two New York Times bestsellers, The Power of Habit, and his second book, Smarter Faster Better. His latest book, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection, is available February 20, 2024. We discuss how supercommunicators use 3 types of conversation to their advantage. Charles shares a 3 second preparation routine you can use instantly to make your conversations better. How to skip small talk and take conversation deeper to create connection with anyone, and why recognizing social identities can help you manage difficult conversations effectively. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you recognize a supercommunicator in your life, and what impact do they have on your personal development and well-being? What do supercommunicators do so well that most people suck at? The thin line between authentic conversation and interrogation – 16:29 What simple mindset shift can you make to turn boring conversations into fulfilling conversations that engage the other person and make them look forward to talking to you? Social media gets toxic because most people don’t know these rules – 24:13 Why are there rules for communicating through different forms of technology and how do those rules cause social media to be so toxic? If you want lifelong happiness, what do you need to have by age 45 and 65? The little known technique that makes hard conversations easy – 34:28 What are the 3 types of conversations and how do you know which type you’re having with someone so there’s no disconnect? How do you build out the skill set to be more comfortable expressing vulnerability? Quick guide to prepare you for any conversation – 47:43 What are practical ways to mentally prepare for emotional and social discussions, even if you're not accustomed to expressing vulnerability? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 19 February 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle learning excellence with Eric Potterat and Alan Eagle. Eric is one of the world's leading performance psychologists, a retired US naval commander, a lead psychologist for the US Navy Seals, the Los Angeles Dodgers, and co-author of Learned Excellence: Mental Disciplines for Leading and Winning from the World's Top Performers. His co author, Allan Eagle, is a colleague of Dr. Potterat’s at Google and best selling author himself. He was blown away by Dr Potterat’s lessons and wanted to co-author a book To share Eric's knowledge with the world. How can the mental disciplines used by the world's elite performers transform not just your career, but how you connect with others? We uncover the secrets to achieving unparalleled success and fulfillment, learning from experts who've coached the best, from Navy SEALs to top business leaders, on learning excellence, becoming visible in elite circles to unlock career opportunities, and the 6 pillars of performance you need to master to become elite. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What simple exercise can you do to improve your performance in every area of your daily life? The mindset shift most that causes most people to give up – 14:00 What do you do when effort and hard work are not enough to perform at your best or reach your goals? What is the key to becoming excellent at anything you choose to pursue, even if you’re currently terrible at it? How do you know if you’re on the right path – 27:20 What can you look for to figure out if you’re on the right path or using the right process to solve your problem? What can you do to get yourself ready before a big speech or pitch to manage stress, and how do you manage the stress in the moment? How do elite performers take valuable experience from everything they do – 37:50 What are the 6 pillars you should always maintain in life to create the greatest resilience before life inevitably kicks you in the face? Unlocking elite performance in your children – 45:54 How do you help your children learn excellence? What questions can you ask your kids everyday to achieve their potential? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 12 February 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle empathy with Michael Ventura, Paul Bloom, Geoffrey Cohen, and Rick Hanson. Michael Ventura is the author of Applied Empathy: The New Language of Leadership. Paul Bloom is a professor at the University of Toronto and author of Against Empathy: The Case for Rational Compassion. Geoffrey Cohen is a Stanford professor and author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides. And Rick Hanson is a psychologist and senior fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and NYT bestselling author of Taking in the Good. How can empathy revolutionize your personal and professional relationships? Have you ever considered that empathy could be more than just understanding others' feelings? What if we told you that empathy is not just about being nice, but about wielding a deep, objective perspective that could unlock your true potential and transform your approach to social interactions? Discover how to identify your empathy archetype, why empathy is crucial in leadership, and how it can be a superpower in your interactions. Are you ready to challenge your perceptions and cultivate a skill that guarantees meaningful connections and success? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the most common misconception about empathy? How do you develop empathy and why does it seem like so many people lack it these days? Do psychopaths have empathy? – 13:02 What do most people get wrong about empathy and sympathy? What are the 7 empathy archetypes? Forging a strong and confident brain – 19:12 How do you strengthen your brain and make it confident, and why would you want to? What tiny habit can you work on for moments each day that will enable you to build relationships with whoever you want? The approach to empathy most people avoid – 31:39 What is the most time-efficient way to maximize your empathy? What is the best way to stand up for yourself if someone says something that makes you or someone else uncomfortable? Leaders ignore this one skill to the detriment of their business – 39:31 How can leaders and team members integrate empathy into their work environment to improve dynamics and outcomes? What 15 minute exercise can you do every morning to cultivate deeper empathy? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 5 February 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle likability with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold. In this episode, we unpack the secrets to becoming irresistibly likable, mastering the art of propinquity, and leveraging your network effectively. We tackle burning questions such as how to build a vibrant social life irrespective of your location, the role of technology in networking, and how to make every social interaction count. Whether you're starting anew in a different city or looking to inject new energy into your current social circle, this episode is a goldmine of strategies and insights. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is propinquity, and how can it drastically improve your ability to make friends anywhere you live? Stop unknowingly sabotaging your social life – 11:38 Are you unknowingly sabotaging your social life? Learn the common pitfalls to avoid and boost your social presence Want to know how propinquity can boost your career? Discover how one client dramatically improved his professional life using this concept Turn mindless activity into great networking opportunities – 19:12 Why is mindless social media scrolling a missed opportunity? Learn how to turn your social media habits into networking gold How can your reputation skyrocket your likability and networking success? Find out the power of social proof in expanding your circle The secret to boosting your likability – 30:01 How can showing curiosity in others' interests boost your likability? Feeling like your interests are too niche for others? Learn how to find common ground in any conversation The hidden psychological principle that draws people in – 40:15 What psychological principles drive our attraction to others and how can you use those principles to boost your likability? How can you leverage online platforms to showcase your personality and interests? A Word From Our Sponsors Bombas crafts ridiculously comfortable socks, tees, and underwear, and for every item sold, they donate one to help those facing homelessness — over 100 million essentials donated so far. Not only are their clothes designed for ultimate comfort with features like arch support and buttery-soft fabric, but they also ensure customer satisfaction with a 100% Happiness Guarantee for hassle-free returns and exchanges. Ready to get comfy and give back? Head over to Bombas.com/CHARM and use code CHARM for twenty percent off your first purchase! $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/CHARM. Offer good for a limited time. Ready to start your ecommerce business? Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/charm. Grow your business–no matter what stage you’re in. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 29 January 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle perfectionism with Thomas Curran. Thomas is an associate professor in the Department of Psychological and Behavioral Science at the London School of Economics, and the author of The Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough. We tackle the critical issue of how perfectionism can be both a driving force and a relationship killer, dissect the three key dimensions of perfectionism, and guide you on self-assessment to understand your personal perfectionism traps. We also delve into managing perfectionism's impact on work ethic and productivity, especially in the era of social media. Lastly, we provide actionable strategies for high performers to avoid perfectionism pitfalls, ensuring a balanced approach that fosters achievement without sacrificing personal connections or mental well-being. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the 3 dimensions of perfectionism? How perfectionism destroys relationships – 11:17 What do you need to do to foster healthy relationships with perfectionists? What first steps can you take to overcome perfectionism so it doesn’t destroy your relationships and professional success? Where do you fall on the perfectionism scale? – 20:19 How do you measure perfectionism and what questions can you ask to find out where you fall on the perfectionism scale? How much of your perfectionism is genetic, and how do you manage perfectionism when you have kids who might inherit that trait? Perfectionists sabotage their own work ethic because of this – 30:54 How do you make sure your perfectionism doesn’t have a negative impact on your productivity and work ethic? How should you approach social media as a perfectionist since social media can present you with many opportunities for your perfectionism to take a toll on your psyche? The perfectionism traps 90% of people fall into – 42:31 How do you avoid the perfectionism traps so you can accept imperfection, make mistakes, and be kind to yourself and others, so you can accomplish what you need to get done without leaving a wake of destruction? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 22 January 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle friction with Bob Sutton. Bob is an organizational psychologist and professor at Stanford, a New York Times bestselling author, and is here with us to discuss his upcoming book, The Friction Project: How Smart Leaders Make the Right Things Easier and the Wrong Things Harder. Bob Sutton sheds light on the double-edged sword of 'friction' in both professional and personal interactions, so why is friction a double-edged sword that you need to master to be successful, what strategies can you use to identify (and minimize) friction in your daily interactions, and how can you use positive friction as a tool to maximize your problem-solving capacity, boost productivity, and profitability? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you identify the friction you bring to relationships that makes people not want to work with you or hang out with you? What can you learn from the California DMV about the importance of reducing friction to maximize productivity and boost customer satisfaction? 3 Ways to Make Friction a Force for Good at Work – 19:57 If friction slows things down, how do individuals and businesses use friction to amplify results? What strategies can individuals use to become friction fixers and accelerate their careers? How can understanding a company's culture of handling friction help you in job interviews? Power Poisoning and its impact on Organizational Friction – 34:00 How can leaders avoid falling into the trap of power poisoning so they don’t hurt their own bottom line by introducing unnecessary friction into the organization? The Impact of AI and Technology on Organizational Friction – 44:12 What are the best practices for integrating AI into the workplace without increasing friction? How can listeners apply the insights from The Friction Project to their professional and personal lives? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 15 January 2024

In today’s episode, we tackle burnout with Dr Debbie Sorensen. Dr Sorensen got her PhD in psychology from Harvard University, is the cohost of the Psychologists Off the Clock podcast, runs a private practice in Boulder, Colorado, and is the author of ACT for Burnout: Recharge, Reconnect, and Transform Burnout With Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Today’s conversation delves into the signs, impact, and strategies to recover from burnout. Gain insights into recognizing burnout, addressing its root causes, and exploring Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) as a means to tackle burnout. From personal experiences to practical advice on navigating burnout, this episode offers a wealth of information to help listeners develop resilience and regain a sense of balance. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the obvious indicators of burnout that everyone overlooks when they’re burnt out? This one thing prevents most people from overcoming burnout Which of these 5 burnout cycles do you suffer from – 12:45 What are the most prevalent burnout cycles, and how do they trap individuals in a cycle of stress and recovery? Are certain personalities more susceptible to specific burnout cycles, and if so, why? The secret weapon against burnout that anyone can acquire – 25:51 What are the first steps someone can take to cultivate psychological flexibility in their daily life? Are certain personalities more susceptible to specific burnout cycles, and if so, why? And what can you do to reduce your susceptibility? The psychological toolkit to overcome burnout – 36:14 How can you use Acceptance Commitment Therapy tools to give yourself some breathing room and not allow your burnout to destroy the relationships you care about? The road to burnout recovery – 46:07 What are the necessary steps to go from burnout to some semblance of normal? How can you bring up the topic of burnout with someone you care about who is showing signs of burnout? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 8 January 2024

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle networking secrets with four leading networking experts. The experts on this compilation are Karen Wickre, author of Taking the Work Out of Networking, Matthew Pollard, the author of The Introvert's Edge to Networking, David Siegel, a close friend of ours and the CEO of meetup.com, and Susan McPherson, the author of The Lost Art of Connecting. With insights from experienced guests Karen Wickre, Matthew Pollard, David Siegel, and Susan McPherson, we explore the art of networking, both in person and online, while debunking common misconceptions about introverts and showcasing their unique strengths in the networking game. Join us as we explore the importance of storytelling, the value of research and preparation, and the significance of maintaining genuine connections over time. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How could mastering the art of professional networking unlock doors you never knew existed in today's dynamic career landscape? As an introvert, what hidden strengths do you possess that could turn networking from a daunting task into your greatest ally in success? 5 Strategies to Crush Networking Events that Most Will Ignore – 13:10 Discover the ultimate strategies that transform ordinary networking encounters into life-changing connections — are you missing out? What if I told you that in just 5 minutes, you can turn a casual chat at a networking event into a lasting, impactful relationship? The Key Component of Networking Everyone Overlooks – 22:26 Ever wonder what makes certain people magnetic in any room? Uncover the key component of networking that ensures you're never forgotten Are you approaching networking events all wrong? Learn how to research potential connections effectively and transform your next event into a goldmine of opportunities Feeling lost at networking events? Set these simple yet powerful missions for yourself and watch how drastically your experience changes Tips to Not Be Forgotten After an Event – 32:08 What's the one crucial step you must take after a networking event to ensure your new connections turn into meaningful, long-term relationships? Should You Be Direct or Indirect – 41:50 How does adopting a more direct approach in your interactions lead to more meaningful connections, and what might you be risking by avoiding this strategy? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 1 January 2024

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we hand selected the best clips from 2023 to prepare you for the New Year. Check out the resources section down below for links to every interview in this episode. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! If you've ever found yourself pondering how to navigate life's unexpected challenges, master the art of influence, or forge deeper connections, this episode is your guide. We uncover the secrets to turning envy into empowerment and inspire those around you. From the psychological tricks that make you irresistibly interesting to the key strategies for maintaining vibrant friendships and marriages, we've got you covered. Tune in to discover revolutionary solutions for avoiding burnout and fostering enduring relationships. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can you stay prepared for any unexpected hurdle in life? The secret to framing questions to get people to do whatever you want What can you do to leverage envy to help you instead of making you feel bad about yourself? The Key to Inspire Everyone Around You – 19:12 What is the psychological trick to be so interesting to the people around you that everyone wants to spend time with you? What is the key to exude confidence when talking to someone you’ve just met? The Secret Language of Relationships – 32:50 How should you respond to your romantic partner if you don’t want to get dumped or divorced? Why is it important for us to make small talk with strangers everyday? The Little Known Way to Make Friends When We’re Older – 40:47 What can you do to create solid friendships when you’re older while also maintaining your youthful energy and child-like curiosity? What are the 5 layers of listening that will supercharge your communication skills? The Revolutionary Solution to Saving Marriages – 56:21 What signs do you need to pay attention to if you don’t want your marriage to fail? The Ultimate Approach to Avoiding Burnout and Relieving Stress & Anxiety – 1:02:40 What can you do to alleviate any feelings of burnout and relieve stress and anxiety immediately? How do you make replacement friends as you get older and why is it important to maintain peak performance later in life? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 25 December 2023

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle the price of greatness with Morgan Housel, the author of The Psychology of Money and Same as Ever: A Guide to What Never Changes which is already a NYT bestseller. Today we’re redefining success and happiness, starting with a myth-busting take on the 1950s' nostalgia. Discover the unconventional yet effective strategy of finding happiness, gain unique insights into how embracing failure is a secret weapon used by top comedians to achieve greatness, including wisdom from the legendary Jerry Seinfeld on the art of timing and knowing when to walk away. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Most people overlook this simple mindset shift to be happy Why do we feel so nostalgic about the 1950s and does that nostalgia have a basis in reality? The psychological trick to making effortless changes in behavior – 18:12 What is the simple strategy most people overlook to streamline your path to accomplishing your goals? If you want to be successful, when is the best time to walk away or move on from something you’re invested in? This is more important than competitive advantages in the long run – 26:50 What can we learn from why once-dominant businesses collapsed in order to stay competitive in a hyper competitive market? The secret to going viral on any platform – 37:55 What do you have to do to go viral that most people will never try? The unspoken painful price of greatness – 52:20 Why would most people give up on the pursuit of fame if they knew this price they would have to pay? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 18 December 2023

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle achieving the impossible with Dr Mike Massimino. Dr Massimino served as an astronaut from 1996 to 2014 and went to space twice, he was the first human to tweet from space, the last human to work inside the Hubble telescope, and is the author of Moonshot: A NASA Astronaut’s Guide to Achieving the Impossible. In this installment, we have a truly out-of-this-world guest, Dr. Mike Massimino, who brings us inside the captivating world of space exploration as he delves into Hoot's Law and the art of handling mistakes in the unforgiving expanse of space. He shares invaluable insights into building a team culture that leads to unparalleled success at NASA, and explains the secrets behind the 30-second rule, a powerful tool for overcoming regret and performing at a high level in critical situations. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the most surprising challenges Dr Massimino had to overcome to become an astronaut after being rejected several times? What is the value of teamwork most people have forgotten – 14:02 What are the psychological benefits of being on a team that greatly increase your ability to succeed? What is the most important thing to nurture in your team as a leader in order to avoid catastrophe? The danger signs that trust is about to break – 27:38 What signs should you pay attention for if you’re concerned about What is Hoot’s law and why is it crucial to consider when you find yourself in a stressful or dangerous situation? The astronaut’s secret to effortlessly overcome regret and perform – 40:54 How do you overcome regret in a high pressure situation so you can perform at the highest level regardless of the circumstances? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 11 December 2023

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle decision making with some of the world’s experts on the topic. First, Annie Duke, a former professional poker player now a coach and author of Quit, The Power of Knowing When to Walk Away. Next, David Siegel, CEO of Meetup.com and author of Decide and Conquer, shares his expertise on leadership decision-making. Dan Ariely, a Duke University professor and renowned author, who delves into overcoming indecision and regret. Finally, former intelligence officer and author Shane Parrish talks about his book Clear Thinking: Turning Extraordinary Moments Into Extraordinary Results. From the influence of regret on our choices to the impact of blind spots on decision patterns, our guests offer practical strategies to enhance your decision-making skills. Join us as we explore the power of timely action, the significance of embracing change, and the transformative potential of making better decisions. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Most people have no idea that this one mindset shift will lead to life changing improvements in decision making Most people make bad decisions because of these factors – 9:28 How do most people get stuck in making decisions and what can you do to get unstuck? What are the most common biases we have to overcome to make the right decisions? How do you overcome the sunk cost problem so you don’t waste years of your life trying to make a prior bad decision work? This bias stops people from reaching high levels of success – 21:39 Why are most people stuck making decisions that keep them where they are instead of making decisions that put them on track to where they want to be? Use these tools to avoid making terrible decisions – 33:55 How do you create a habit so you make great decisions and avoid terrible decisions without even thinking about them? Most people will never ask this simple question to obtain a mentor who could change their lives forever People don’t prioritize this area of decision making enough – 44:09 How do you create rules for automatic success? When is the right time to quit something you’re invested in? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 4 December 2023

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we tackle the epidemic of loneliness elite performance with AJ, Johnny, and Michael Herold. With loneliness reaching epidemic levels in today's society, our hosts explore the detrimental impacts it can have on our health and well-being. They share their expertise in communication, confidence, and relationships to provide practical tools for combating loneliness and building meaningful connections. From recognizing the signs of loneliness to fostering strong networks, this episode offers valuable insights and strategies for navigating the challenges of isolation. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the loneliness epidemic, how did people get to be so lonely, and what can we do about it so it doesn’t get worse? Most people don’t know the health risks of this – 14:33 How does loneliness cause detrimental effects to your physical health? This type of self-talk stops people from asking for help – 20:02 What simple mental switch can you flip to strengthen the relationships in your life? Who is to blame for the loneliness epidemic? This exercise is crucial to figure out who your real friends are – 28:00 What can you do to figure out if the people in your life are helping you or holding you back? What can you do today to build rock solid confidence? Only a small handful will take this step to end the loneliness epidemic – 38:36 What can you do today to strengthen existing relationships in your life while simultaneously helping to end the loneliness epidemic? A Word From Our Sponsors Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/CHARM. Offer good for a limited time. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 27 November 2023

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side. Visit lifemd.com/CHARM to get started! In today’s episode, we cover elite performance with David Goggins. David Goggins achieved the extraordinary, being the sole individual to conquer the grueling training regimens of the SEALs, Army Rangers, and Air Force Tactical Air Controllers. His resilience has seen him cross the finish line of over seventy ultra-marathons, frequently securing top positions, and his iron determination once earned him a Guinness World Record for an astonishing 4,030 pull-ups within a mere seventeen hours. Goggins isn't just a physical marvel; he's also a masterful orator, inspiring audiences worldwide with his insights on mental fortitude. In today's episode, we are joined by the incredible David Goggins, a true embodiment of mental and physical resilience. Goggins has transformed his life, bringing himself from a place of insecurity and doubt to becoming a renowned ultra-marathon runner and motivational speaker. Join our hosts as they unravel the inspiring story of David Goggins and explore his strategies for overcoming self-doubt, finding inner strength, and pushing beyond our perceived limits. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How do you balance a relationship if you’re extremely ambitious so both of you can pursue goals? What do you say to people you love who don’t support your lofty aspirations? The secret to lose 100+ pounds in 3 months – 10:12 How did David Goggins lose 106 pounds in 3 months? How do you flip that mental switch on days you don’t feel like working out? What you’re looking for is on the other side of this – 21:14 Most people will never push themselves beyond this point to accomplish everything they want in life The most successful people in history have a great relationship with this side of themselves that average people ignore David Goggins’s secret to breaking crippling habits – 30:40 What can you do to eliminate all distractions right now? How did David Goggins stop caring about what other people think? This one thing makes you completely unrelatable – 46:51 This belief is the number on factor in David Goggins’s life that helped him build the self discipline to do what he does What does David Goggins want to be remembered for? A Word From Our Sponsors Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to upgrade your job post at Indeed.com/CHARM. Offer good for a limited time. Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 20 November 2023

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side -> lifemd.com/CHARM In today’s episode, we cover communication with five elite communication experts. We have Dr Carole Robin, who's been teaching the legendary course, interpersonal dynamics at the Stanford Graduate School of Business. Chuck Wisner, the author of The Art of Conscious Conversations, Karen Wickre, the author of Taking the Work Out of Networking, Jonah Berger, professor at Wharton School and the author of several best selling books on influence and social Dynamics, including Magic Words, and Susan McPherson, the author of The Lost Art of Connecting. From the significance of open-ended questions to the impact of language on emotions, our guests share strategies to influence and connect with others. We'll also uncover the keys to building high-value relationships, the role of vulnerability in leadership, and the importance of active listening in meaningful conversations. Join us as we uncover actionable steps and insights to elevate your communication skills and unlock hidden potential. What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Break this one habit before it breaks your budding relationships How do you create better quality conversations and open up dialogue with anyone? What is the worst question you can ask when someone is sad or upset? This type of language pushes most people away – 11:50 Most people won’t do this one thing in order to improve their relationships How do you master the skill of listening so you can avoid relationship-breaking problems while also building the strongest relationships? Most people hide who they are because of this – 22:15 This is the one key to being the greatest version of yourself How do you turn acquaintances into friends and friends into allies? The key to creating lifelong connections – 32:20 Most CEOs will never do this even though it supercharges the output of their employees The secret to resolving marital conflict that people ignore at their own peril The 3 little known phrases to get your point across – 45:20 How do you train your inner dialogue to be constructive instead of critical? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 13 November 2023

Right now, we’d like to thank the sponsor of this episode: LifeMD. Looking to lose weight and improve your health? Embrace your journey towards a healthier and happier you, and achieve lasting sustainable weight loss with LifeMD by your side -> lifemd.com/CHARM In today’s episode, we cover thinking fast and talking smarter with Matt Abrahams. Matt is a leading communication expert with decades of experience as an educator, author, and coach. As a Lecturer at Stanford University's Graduate School of Business, he teaches popular classes on strategic communication and effective virtual presenting. He hosts the award-winning podcast Think Fast, Talk Smart, and is the author of the book Speaking Up without Freaking Out, as well as his newest book Think Faster, Talk Smarter: How to Speak Successfully When You're Put on the Spot. Being able to think on your feet in every conversation can yield life-changing opportunities and relationships, so how does maximizing mediocrity better prepare you to think on your feet, what is the 3 step framework to listening so you know how to respond, and what is the secret to gracefully exiting any conversation so you avoid awkward goodbyes? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the anxiety spiral and how does it trip you up in critical moments? What 3 ways does anxiety manifest and how do you deal with each one so they don’t trip you up in important conversations? This common practice works against you – 9:59 What is scripting and why should you avoid it if you want to make a great first impression? How do you communicate effectively when people’s attention spans are still on the decline? Having this mindset makes communication effortless – 22:41 Why is storytelling important when it comes to communicating and building relationships, and how do you get better at telling stories? What 3 simple questions can you ask yourself to provide the perfect response to any communication? The secret to make small talk impactful when it counts – 31:39 How do you make small talk fun and meaningful for everyone you talk to so it leads to better relationships and more opportunities? What is the “white flag” trick to leave any conversation without making it awkward? How to fix a mistake when mis-speaking in a crucial moment – 44:16 What should you do if you make a mistake in an important conversation or presentation? How do you acknowledge it without making the situation worse? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 6 November 2023

In today’s episode, we cover self-mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais. Michael is one of the world's top high performance psychologists and leading experts on the relationship between the mind and human performance, and the author of The First Rule of Mastery: Stop Worrying about What People Think of You. Being social creatures is a double edged sword because we can rely on others to survive and get ahead in life, but with that comes the crippling concern of what others think about us, so how do you disregard the opinions of others so you can focus your efforts on what you need to do to reach your potential? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is FOPO and why is one of the greatest constrictors of human potential? Why is FOPO the first step to mastery? Overcome the doubt that crushes everyone else – 12:17 How do you stop worrying about what everyone thinks of you? How do you make yourself significantly more attractive without changing anything about your outward appearance? What do pros do under pressure that no one else does – 23:20 What is Ricky Fowler’s secret to excelling under the same pressure that crushes amateur athletes? What is the difference between a performance-based mindset and a purpose-based mindset? The secret to living a life most people never can – 33:38 What steps can you take to focus on your purpose and disregard the opinions and expectations of everyone around you? Lone wolves will never reach the same level these people do – 44:58 What prevents loners from reaching their full potential? Why do you need other people in order to reach your full potential? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 30 October 2023

In today’s episode, we cover what it takes to be a Green Beret with Nick Lavery. Nick is an active duty member of the United States Army Special Forces. On his 2nd combat rotation to Afghanistan 10 years ago, he and his detachment fell victim to an insider attack that led to Nick losing his leg. Refusing a military medical retirement, Nick set his sights on returning to operational status. Nick is considered the 1st special forces operator to return to combat as an above-the-knee amputee. Lastly, he's the author of the book Objective Secure: The Battle-Tested Guide to Goal Achievement. The Green Berets are the elite special forces of the U.S. Army, but what separates the elite from the rest, why is relationship building critical to the Green Beret’s mission success, and what does it take to rapidly build trust and camaraderie with people across different cultures and language barriers? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why did Nick Lavery enlist in the Army Special Forces? Most people never enlist this way – 11:30 What separates the Green Berets from other special operations forces in the military? How do elite special forces learn to rapidly develop trust with people across different cultures and language barriers? The military secret to building unbreakable teams – 23:26 What do elite special forces do to forge bonds among teams to ensure mission success in life or death situations? The only Green Beret to return to active duty without a leg – 27:27 How did Nick Lavery lose a leg and return to active duty as the only Green Beret with an above-knee amputation? The moment he rejoined his band of brothers – 46:15 What was it like for Nick to finally rejoin his team of Green Berets? The 3 reasons soldiers crave the chaos of war when they’re away from the battlefield The key to building relationships that most people overlook – 1:01:30 What do most people not do when they’re trying to build new relationships? How do you crush self-doubt like the elite special forces? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 23 October 2023

In today’s episode, we cover the value of pursuing your passions with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold. You’ve heard people tell you to follow your passions, but how do you define a passion, how do you combine your passions to create a unique skill set that sets you apart in your industry, and how do you share your passions with people to strengthen your network and friendships? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the most relevant definition of passion? What is the opposite Dunning-Kruger effect and how do you overcome it? Inspire people with your passion – 11:55 How do you bring your passions and interests into conversation to deepen your connections even when the people you’re talking to don’t share your passions and interests? What’s the secret to mastering any skill? Forge the unique passion skillset no one else has – 20:20 How do you combine your interests and passions to set yourself apart from 90% of people in your industry? Leverage your passions to squeeze the most out of life – 32:27 How do you use your passions to define your purpose and craft goals that sling shot you toward your dreams? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 16 October 2023

In today’s episode, we cover building relationships with Geoffrey Cohen, Dr Carole Robin, Colin Coggins and Garrett Brown, David Siegel, and Susan McPherson. Geoffrey Cohen is a professor and the author of Belonging: The Science of Creating Connection and Bridging Divides. Dr Carole Robin teaches a legendary course called Interpersonal Dynamics at Stanford Graduate School of Business. Colin Coggins and Garrett Brown are the authors of The Unsold Mindset: Redefining What It Means to Sell. David Siegel is the CEO of MeetUp. Susan McPherson is the author of The Lost Art of Connecting: The Gather, Ask, Do Method for Building Meaningful Business Relationships. Relationships are one of the most important factors in your happiness, fulfillment, and success, but how do you build exceptional relationships that actually last, what is the real problem with building relationships and how do you overcome it, and what is the secret to turning acquaintances into real friends? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What is the secret to building lifelong friendships and relationships? How do you come across as authentic when meeting new people so they don’t think you’re manipulative or deceptive? The mindset you need to be successful in relationships – 13:37 What mindset shift do you need in order to be successful in relationships? How do you develop resilience so the inevitable road bumps in life don’t crush you? How do you reframe rejection so you embrace it rather than avoid it? The ultimate strategy for making friends with like-minded people – 24:26 Where is the best place to meet people you want to build lasting friendships with? How do you build an epic social circle from scratch no matter where you live? The 3-step networking strategy 90% of people will never implement – 36:33 What simple pattern can you implement in any networking event to make connections with anyone you want? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 9 October 2023

In today’s episode, we cover the art of decision making with Shane Parrish. Shane is an expert on mental models and frameworks for effective decision-making, a former intelligence officer, founder of Farnam Street (the world’s most read blog on clear thinking), and the author of Clear Thinking: Turning Ordinary Moments into Extraordinary Results. Every day is filled with countless decisions you don’t think twice about, but those little decisions have a larger impact than the “life-changing” decisions you spend days, weeks, or months contemplating, so what is the secret to ensure those everyday decisions you make are not pulling you away from the life you want, what 4 psychological traps must you avoid to make the best decisions, and what rituals can you put into place to propel you toward the life you want? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How to use the small everyday decisions to get ahead of everyone worrying about the big “life-changing” decisions? What is more important than doing your best? Rules for success that 90% of people never follow – 15:05 How do you ensure you only make the best decisions in stressful or high pressure situations? How to love doing something you hate – 27:47 What systematic routine can you implement to turn any task into one you look forward to and excel at? What mental trick can you use to achieve any goal you set for yourself? Are you chasing the right goals? – 39:51 How can you know if you’re chasing the goals YOU want for yourself or if you’re chasing the goals OTHERs want for you that you have internalized as your goals that you will later regret wasting your life in pursuit of? What proven template can you use to learn from every mistake you make and have made? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 2 October 2023

In today’s episode, we cover how to make friends with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold. It is an unfortunate statistic that we lose friends as we get older, but why does that happen, what can you do to make and maintain friendships that last a lifetime, what are the 3 traits you need to be the friend everyone wants, and proven system can you implement tomorrow to attract dynamic high value people into your life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Why do you have fewer friends today than you did 10 or 20 years ago and what can you do to rebuild friendships you’ve lost? Make dynamic high value friends that turbocharge your life – 10:05 What can you do to find and build friendships with high value people who share your values and interests? 3 steps to be the rock star of your social circle – 20:38 What 3 traits do you need to master to be the guy (or girl) everyone wants to be around? How do you pinpoint the valuable social capital you bring to friendships so you can leverage it to accelerate the building of future friendships? Build rock solid friendships effectively and efficiently – 38:46 How many hours does it take to build friendships that last a lifetime? What is the most effective AND efficient strategy to funnel the best prospects for friendship into your life so you don’t waste time getting to know people who don’t meet your standards? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 25 September 2023

In today’s episode, we cover getting unstuck with Adam Alter. Adam is a renowned academic and speaker known for his work in marketing and psychology, the New York Times bestselling author of Irresistible: The Rise of Addictive Technology and the Business of Keeping Us Hooked and Drunk Tank Pink: And Other Unexpected Forces That Shape How We Think, Feel, and Behave. His newest book is Anatomy of a Breakthrough: How to Get Unstuck When It Matters Most. It can feel crippling to get stuck in life and not know how to move forward, so what psychological traps keep you stuck and how do you avoid them, how do you manage your emotions so you don’t waste time staying stuck longer than necessary, and what can you do to create a hot streak every time you get unstuck? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 How can you recognize when you get stuck so you don’t waste your life away? What is the secret Lionel Messi uses to overcome his performance anxiety? Your mind is tricking you into staying stuck – 16:42 What are the psychological traps that keep you stuck in life and how do you avoid them or get out of them? Managing your emotions to get unstuck – 27:10 How do your emotions help you or hinder you when it comes to feeling stuck in life and how do you deal with them? Fishy life lessons – 39:25 What can we learn from specific fish about the value of patience and always trying to be first? How do you use failure to get unstuck? Creating your own hot streak – 44:16 What can you do to create a hot streak of success in your career regardless of where you are in life? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 18 September 2023

In today’s episode, we cover the 4 pillars of happiness with Arthur C Brooks. Arthur is the best selling author of 12 books on topics ranging from economic opportunity to human happiness, and his newest book Build the Life You Want: The Art and Science of Getting Happier that he co-wrote with Oprah Winfrey. Happiness is a feeling anyone can cultivate but one that is increasingly difficult in a tech-centric world, so what is the best way to manage your emotions to achieve happiness and success, why are extroverts happier than introverts and what can you do to decrease your unhappiness as an introvert, and what is the difference between pleasure and enjoyment that most people don’t know even though it makes the difference between fulfillment and loneliness? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 When is intolerance and hatred necessary? Why do humans crave social interaction with family and friends? The secret to happiness – 14:08 What is the key to increasing your happiness no matter what is going on in your life? How do you manage envy so it doesn’t prevent you from being happy? Why you need to feel unhappy – 24:08 Why is unhappiness just as important as happiness when it comes to managing your mood from day to day? What are the 4 pillars of happiness? What is the most important thing loners need to understand if they want to be happy in their solitude? Real Friends vs Deal Friends – 37:00 What are the two types of friends we all have and which group contributes to your loneliness? What are the 5 challenges we face in building strong and healthy relationships? The right choices to build relationships – 50:36 What two things should you be focusing on to build lifelong relationships with friends, family, and your significant other? What is the neurochemical difference between pleasure and enjoyment and why does one make you feel empty and lonely? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 11 September 2023

In today’s episode, we cover happiness with 4 of the world’s leading experts on the topic: Arthur C. Brooks, Dr. Robert Waldinger, Dr. Tal Ben-Shahar, and Christoph Schnedlitz. Happiness and purpose make a life worth living, but what factors contribute to and take away from your ability to be happy, what role do relationships play in your happiness, and how do you build happiness that doesn’t depend on what’s happening in your life? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 Who are the world’s leading experts on happiness? Building Happiness – 3:50 What simple question can you ask yourself to build life-changing happiness? Success Addiction – 12:00 How do you get addicted to success and what can you do to break the addiction? Harvard Happiness Study – 14:24 What is the Harvard Happiness Study and what can you learn from the results to foster happiness in your life? Social Media and Happiness – 24:25 How does social media affect global happiness and what can you do to protect yourself from its effects? Relationships and Happiness – 29:02 How much do your relationships influence your lifetime happiness? What can you do to maintain the relationships in your life that bring you happiness? What are the biggest happiness myths? The 3 Happiness Skills – 40:35 What skills should you work on to build resilient happiness? Why is boredom an important component of happiness? Planet Money is a different kind of world where the complex economy actually makes sense; where human stories supersede abstract theories. Listeners can learn, laugh, and be entertained. It’s economics, down to earth. Tune in to Planet Money every week for entertaining stories and insights about how money shapes our world. Stories that can’t be found anywhere else. Listen now to Planet Money from NPR -- wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 4 September 2023

In today’s episode, we cover the 3 pillars of powerful communication with AJ, Johnny, and Coach Michael Herold. Humans are social creatures and history has taught us that powerful communication can help anyone achieve any goal we have in life, but what are the 3 pillars of powerful communication, how can you strengthen each one, and what are you risking by never becoming a powerful communicator? What to Listen For First pillar of powerful communication – 0:00 What is the difference between hearing what someone is telling you vs actively listening to someone? What are the 3 layers of listening you need to understand so the people around you feel like they are important to you? What is the crucial skill you are missing to get ahead professionally, personally, and romantically? Second pillar of powerful communication – 22:17 What is the biggest pitfall you make in conversation that can kill a connection and make people not want to talk to you? How do you give people value in a conversation so they want to know more about you and spend more time with you? Third pillar of powerful communication – 35:53 What is the one thing you should pay attention to if you don’t want your friendships, relationships, or even your marriage to fail? What is an emotional bid and how do you recognize each of the 9 types in conversation so you can build long lasting connections with anyone you meet? A Word From Our Sponsors Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence Running out of things to say in conversation… and still struggling to get people interested in you? That’s an uncomfortable position to be in. Don’t want to risk getting tongue-tied and screwing things up the next time you meet someone? Check out Conversation Magic now to make sure you don't crash and burn. With our bulletproof formula, you'll be flirting up a storm, sparking fun and engaging conversations, and making high-value friends anywhere! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 28 August 2023

The Art of Charm is brought to you by BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com/charm today to get 10% off your first month. Nom Nom delivers fresh dog food with every portion personalized to your dog’s needs, so you can bring out their best. Get 50% off your first two weeks at tryNom.com/artofcharm. Working out is tough. And finding a workout program that sticks, even tougher. Peloton’s classes don’t feel like a regular workout class, they feel like entertainment. In fact, you’ll be craving your workouts. Get started and download the free Peloton App today. Backed by a leading clinical trial where nine out of ten men experienced healthier and visibly improved skin, Caldera Lab has the tools to unlock your best first impression and confidence! Use code CHARM at calderalab.com for 20% OFF their best products. Factor, America’s #1 Ready-To-Eat Meal Kit, can help you fuel up fast with ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. Head to factormeals.com/charm50 to get 50% off your first box. In today’s episode, we cover relationship building and repairing with Michael Bungay Stanier. Michael is the founder of Box of Crayons, a learning and development company, and the author of several books including his bestseller The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever and his newest title How to Work with (Almost) Anyone: Five Questions for Building the Best Possible Relationships. Relationships are not easy to maintain and the best relationships take work, so how do you build the best relationships, what can you do to repair broken relationships, and how do you know you should just walk away? What to Listen For Introduction – 0:00 What are the negative impacts of not having psychological safety in the workplace? Why is it important to seek relationships that go beyond safety? What questions can you ask so you can work with almost anyone? Increase productivity with language – 15:20 What is the best way to make a to-do list so you’ll actually complete it? What question can you ask to understand why people don’t like working with you? Repair the relationship – 31:20 What questions can you ask to stop a relationship from failing? What questions can you ask to repair a broken relationship? Can you reset a relationship? Choose your battles – 41:37 How do you know when you should walk away from a relationship or friendship? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcribed - Published: 21 August 2023