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The Art of Charm

Radical Listening: Transform Your Relationships | Christian van Nieuwerburgh and Robert Biswas-Diener

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.7 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 26 May 2025

⏱️ 73 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

In this episode of The Art of Charm, we sit down with Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener and Professor Christian van Nieuwerburgh, authors of Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection. Together, they unpack a new framework for transforming your conversations—not with better scripts, but with sharper intention. Drawing from psychology, coaching, and decades of research, we explore the six listening motivations, why “active listening” falls short, and how to avoid the silent killers of connection—like half-listening, politeness, and certainty. Whether you're leading a team, navigating tough conversations, or simply tired of being misunderstood, this episode is a masterclass in making people feel truly seen, heard, and valued. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Introduction [00:03:08] What is Radical Listening and how does it go beyond active listening? [00:06:49] Six listening intentions—and how they change everything [00:09:55] How to set the stage for hard conversations with appreciation, not authority [00:17:34] Why quick, genuine care matters more than long, empty check-ins [00:25:17] The myth of being a “great listener” and what most high performers miss [00:34:33] Why watching yourself on video can instantly improve your listening [00:38:12] What does “listening for” versus “listening to” actually mean? [00:45:33] The real cost of half-listening—and why it breaks trust [00:51:26] How to interject without interrupting—and why it’s actually radical empathy Episode Takeaways: You’re not being ignored because you're unimportant—people are stuck in half-attention. Flip the script by modeling radical listening. Start with intention. Every conversation is a choice—validate, influence, learn, support. Know what you’re there to do. Interruptions aren’t rude if they’re respectful. Interject to amplify, not hijack. In your leadership, it's not what you say—it’s how you show you care. A 60-second check-in can change someone’s entire day. Half-listening is worse than not listening at all. Either be fully present—or ask to talk later.The best listeners aren’t born—they’re trained. Develop your awareness like a skill, not a trait. A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Resources from this Episode Radical Listening: The Art of True Connection CoachOnAMotorcycle.com (Christian’s site) IntentionalHappiness.com (Robert’s site) Check in with AJ and Johnny! AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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0:29.8

Being polite is an obstacle to listening. When you're being polite to someone, you don't

0:35.1

want to disagree, you don't want to stir the pot, you don't

0:37.9

want to say anything too intimate or too tender, so you're just kind of politely nodding.

0:43.7

That's a huge impasse to true connection.

0:57.3

All right, let's kick off today's show.

1:02.1

Today we're talking with Professor Christian Van Neuerberg and Dr. Robert Biswistiner on mastering the six listing motivations that transform conversations instantly.

1:07.4

Professor Christian Van Neumberg is a leading academic and executive coach. He's the professor of

1:11.8

coaching and positive psychology at RCSI University of Medicine and Health Sciences in Ireland

1:16.3

and Principal Fellow at the Center for Wellbeing Science at the University of Melbourne, Australia.

1:21.8

Dr. Robert Biswistina is a researcher, author, and consultant with 75 peer-reviewed academic articles

1:26.7

and over 27,000 citations.

1:29.2

Together, they joined forces and Christian and Robert wrote radical listening, The Art of True

1:33.7

Connection. And today we discussed the secret to interjecting without interrupting others,

1:39.0

why half-listening destroys your most important relationships, and how radical listening

1:43.4

creates deeper connections

1:44.7

than active listening ever could. Thank you both for joining us. Yeah, thanks so much for having us.

1:50.4

Pleasure to be here. And I think we have to start with the question that Johnny and I always get

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