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The Art of Charm

Your Brain Needs More Space, Not More Hacks | Dr. Anne-Laure Le Cunff

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.711K Ratings

🗓️ 7 July 2025

⏱️ 59 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Can being "too smart" actually hold you back socially? In this episode of Social Intelligence, AJ Harbinger and Johnny Dzubak sit down with Anne-Laure Le Cunff—founder of Ness Labs and a former Googler turned neuroscience researcher—to explore the psychology of overthinking, social fatigue, and emotional connection for high performers. If you've ever felt drained after socializing, struggled to connect in unstructured conversations, or defaulted to overanalyzing instead of just vibing, Anne-Laure’s insights will change how you see your brain—and your relationships. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Meet Anne-Laure: Neuroscience researcher, entrepreneur, and former Googler [00:02:01] What inspired Anne-Laure to walk away from Silicon Valley [00:04:02] The science of mental fitness: training your mind like a muscle [00:05:42] Why smart people often struggle in social settings [00:07:50] Overthinking vs. high thinking: what’s the difference? [00:09:20] Anne-Laure’s framework for emotional granularity [00:11:03] The hidden impact of unspoken emotions on your connections [00:12:42] How journaling and reflection sharpen your emotional vocabulary [00:14:35] Real-time self-awareness: catching yourself before you spiral [00:16:04] Why smart people default to logic instead of connection—and how to fix it [00:18:20] The loneliness trap of overperformance [00:20:03] How Anne-Laure blends neuroscience with self-compassion [00:22:01] The importance of emotional bandwidth and recovery [00:24:40] What socially intelligent people do differently after high-effort conversations [00:27:20] Tools for restoring your energy after social drain [00:29:00] Why connection doesn’t mean constant performance [00:31:05] Anne-Laure’s advice for other deep thinkers navigating real relationships A Word From Our Sponsors Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/sc⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠CIA-proven guide⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Stop needlessly overpaying for car insurance. Before you renew your policy, do yourself a favor—download the Jerry app or head to JERRY.com/charm Connect with quality therapists and mental health experts who specialize in you at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.rula.com/charm ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Episode resources: https://anne-laure.net/ Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

is your procrastination is just a signal from your brain,

0:02.7

trying to tell you that something is not quite working right now.

0:05.7

So instead of trying to push through,

0:07.8

using your willpower and discipline and blaming yourself for procrastinating,

0:11.8

what would it look like to just have this conversation and say,

0:14.8

hi, procrastination, you're back.

0:18.0

Hello. What are you trying to tell me?

0:33.5

Anne Laura is a former Google executive who went back to university to earn a PhD in psychology and neuroscience from King's College in London. Her new book is Tiny Experiments, How to Live

0:38.5

Freely in a Goal Obsessed World. And she shares why smart goals fail and what works instead,

0:44.7

how to turn procrastination into your secret weapon for growth, how to design tiny experiments

0:50.6

that create massive life changes, and build momentum without waiting for the perfect opportunities.

0:57.2

Welcome to the show. It's so great to have you.

0:59.5

Thanks so much for having me.

1:01.2

I'd love to hear your own personal journey with tiny experiments.

1:04.7

What was that moment for you that it clicked?

1:07.1

So I started my career at Google and up to this point, I had a very linear path.

1:15.0

So I had a very clear vision of what success looked like, how to manage my work, my time, my energy, my relationships, literally everything.

1:24.4

I had a plan, and I thought that if you knew what you wanted in life and you worked really hard, then you would get it.

1:32.1

Until I had a health scare and I burned out at work, which made me reconsider everything that I thought to be true.

1:40.2

I left my job and I decided to go back to university to study neuroscience. And this is where I

1:47.4

discovered the experimental mindset, which is basically how scientists explore the world, how they

1:54.1

relate to uncertainty, how they design experiments, to ask questions and see what works and doesn't

...

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