This week on The Art of Charm, we're joined by award-winning psychologist and bestselling author Ethan Kross to explore the fascinating science of emotion regulation. In his newest book Shift: Managing Your Emotions So They Don't Manage You, Ethan reveals how emotions secretly drive 90% of our lives—and how mastering them can unlock performance, connection, and fulfillment. We dig into why your emotions feel so overwhelming, why trying harder isn’t the solution, and how building your own mental "toolbox" is the real path to emotional fitness. Whether you're leading teams, raising a family, or striving for personal excellence, this conversation will give you the tactical edge you didn't even realize you needed. [00:00:00] What exactly are emotions — and why are they so hard to define? [00:06:35] How emotions are helpful — until they aren't [00:08:33] Why emotional triggers are unique to each person (and why empathy matters) [00:12:14] The surprising connection between sleep, food, and your emotional resilience [00:16:31] How to design your environment for automatic emotional shifts [00:28:20] The secret to becoming a better emotional advisor for friends, family, and teams [00:37:05] Why belief in your ability to regulate emotions is just as important as skill [00:45:51] When emotional avoidance is actually healthy [00:48:39] How elite performers make emotional regulation automatic (WOOP framework explained) Emotions aren't irrational noise — they're signals. But they must be managed with tools, not brute force. Your triggers, emotional responses, and coping strategies are as unique as your fingerprint. Stop copying other people's solutions. Mastering emotions is like mastering fitness: belief, awareness, and deliberate practice matter more than natural talent. The environment you live and work in can either sabotage or support your emotional state — design it thoughtfully. Emotional support isn’t just about listening; it’s about knowing when (and how) to move from empathy to problem-solving. You can't think your way through every emotional challenge — but you can train yourself to act automatically under pressure. Tired of awkward handshakes and collecting business cards without building real connections? Dive into our Free Social Capital Networking Masterclass. Learn practical strategies to make your interactions meaningful and boost your confidence in any social situation. Sign up for free at theartofcharm.com/sc and elevate your networking from awkward to awesome. Don’t miss out on a network of opportunities! Unleash the power of covert networking to infiltrate high-value circles and build a 7-figure network in just 90 days. Ready to start? Check out our CIA-proven guide to networking like a spy! Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince—where high-end essentials meet unbeatable prices. Upgrade your wardrobe today at quince.com/charm for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Shopify makes it easy to start, scale, and succeed—whether you're launching a side hustle or building the next big brand. Sign up for your $1/month trial at shopify.com/charm. Need to hire top talent—fast? Skip the waiting game and get more qualified applicants with Indeed. Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at Indeed.com/charm. Curious about your influence level?  Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at theartofcharm.com/influence. Ethan Kross’s website Shift: Managing Your Emotions--So They Don't Manage You AJ on LinkedIn Johnny on LinkedIn AJ on Instagram Johnny on Instagram The Art of Charm on Instagram The Art of Charm on YouTube The Art of Charm on TikTok What to Listen ForEpisode Takeaways:A Word From Our SponsorsResources from this EpisodeCheck in with AJ and Johnny! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices