Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Resentment shows up when we've given more than we can back up, when we've gone along with something we never actually wanted, or when we've given with strings attached — hoping that giving will lead to being loved or appreciated more. But resentment is more than just a feeling, it's a signal worth paying attention to. We can let our resentments smolder under the surface, or we can use them to better understand ourselves, our desires, and where we need to be more honest with ourselves and others. In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Susie Pettit of the Love Your Life Show to talk about resentment, the difference between selflessness and self-erasure, and what it actually takes for women to step fully into their own lives, their relationships, and their desire. LAST CHANCE for The Art of Desire Retreat (there won't be another until 2028!)

Transcribed - Published: 1 July 2026

We've received many requests over the years to offer Dr. Finlayson-Fife's resources in other languages. Miriam Parkin has generously offered her time and talent to translate episodes for us and we will add them to the feed as they come in (in addition to our regular podcast production schedule). You can listen to the original "Loneliness in Marriage Q&A" podcast HERE. _______ Cuando nos casamos, la mayoría de nosotros imaginamos una vida plena de conexión y compañía. Sin embargo, cuando uno se siente ignorado, no elegido o decepcionado por la manera en que su cónyuge se presenta —tanto emocional como sexualmente—, el matrimonio puede comenzar a sentirse solitario y aislante. En esta sesión de preguntas y respuestas de una hora de duración, la Dra. Finlayson-Fife responde a las inquietudes de aquellas personas que se sienten no elegidas, aisladas y desconectadas en su relación más importante.

Transcribed - Published: 27 June 2026

Parenting a teenager is hard enough before sexuality enters the picture. And when it does, most parents grapple with finding the balance between protection and permission, values and flexibility, structure and trust. The role you play in your child's sexual development doesn't stay fixed. It shifts as they grow, and knowing when to hold a limit and when to let go is rarely as clear as we'd like it to be. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Marielle Melling of the Raising Healthy, Happy Teens Virtual Summit to discuss what sexual integrity is, why it matters for your teen's long-term wellbeing, and how parents can nurture it through every imperfect, evolving stage of the process. For a deeper dive on teaching kids about sexuality, enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's How to Talk to Kids About Sex course! SAVE 20% on Cozy Earth products with code JFF20

Transcribed - Published: 23 June 2026

ALL COURSES 30% OFF TODAY ONLY! code DAD30 We tend to assume men are naturally sexual, comfortable with desire, and quick to want sex. But comfort and ease are not the same thing. Many men carry a private discomfort with their own sexual nature, especially men raised in traditions where sexuality is treated as suspect. And so they look to their wife's desire to make their own sexuality feel acceptable, a dependency that hides behind the appearance of confidence. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Rhonda Farr to talk about men's difficulty with their own sexuality, why higher desire can mask a deeper insecurity, and how men can move from proving themselves through sex to actually blessing their marriage through it. 

Transcribed - Published: 18 June 2026

Johnny is done being controlled. His faith shift made him realize just how much every decision he ever made was shaped by others — and he's not interested in that anymore. In his newfound freedom, he's been experimenting with substances in a way that's unsettling for June. When she says something about his choices, he responds like a rebellious adolescent. Staying quiet feels easier, of course, but Johnny's choices are having a real impact on her, and she's not sure where her responsibility ends and his begins. In this preview episode of Room for Two, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Johnny and June around the parent/child dynamic that is stifling the intimacy in their relationship. This preview episode will resonate with listeners who: Are in a mixed-faith or post-faith-shift marriage Are navigating a partner's substance use Feel like their spouse's parent Crave more intimacy and connection To unlock the FULL episode and over a hundred more that are just as powerful, SUBSCRIBE TO ROOM FOR TWO Save 20% at Cozy Earth with code JFF20

Transcribed - Published: 16 June 2026

Dating, sexuality, and romantic relationships are tricky enough when we're young — but life experience, past hurts, and complicated relationship histories add a whole new layer of complexity for those of us who are single in midlife. The simple answers and guidelines that once felt sufficient don't quite hold anymore. If it feels like the framework and guidance you were offered as a teen isn't working, it's because it was intended for someone at an entirely different stage in life. Midlife singlehood asks something more, because you've lived enough to know that life doesn't always go as planned, and the choices in front of you now carry a depth and consequence that call you toward the spirit of the law, not just the letter of it. During this Q&A discussion, Dr. Finlayson-Fife speaks directly to mid-singles — whether never married, divorced, or widowed — answering their real questions on topics including: What chastity actually means for adults with sexual history How to relate to desire and sexuality without fear running the show Dating wisely without repeating old patterns What to look for in a partner  How to use this season as an opportunity for growth — regardless of what comes next ANNOUCEMENTS: Get your tickets for JFF's FIRST-EVER event for singles HERE Save 20% on Cozy Earth pajamas, sheets and more with code JFF20

Transcribed - Published: 10 June 2026

When a spouse's faith shifts, the anxiety that follows is real. Most of us want to find a way around it, so we seek reinforcement from friends, try to pressure them back into their old position, or just avoid the conversation altogether. But avoiding a difficult reality doesn't make the anxiety go away. In fact, it increases it. In this Q&A episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife takes questions from those navigating mixed-faith marriages, including how to share where you are without demanding your spouse follow, how to stay collaborative when your worldviews have diverged, and how to raise children when you no longer share the same spiritual framework. Because it is in going toward the hard conversations, not around them, that we grow, and that our marriages can too. _________ Last call for our 2026 Sex Worth Wanting Retreat! SAVE 20% on Cozy Earth Products (including their buttery-soft sheets!) HERE with code JFF20

Transcribed - Published: 2 June 2026

We've received many requests over the years to offer Dr. Finlayson-Fife's resources in other languages. Miriam Parkin has generously offered her time and talent to translate episodes for us and we will add them to the feed as they come in (in addition to our regular podcast production schedule). You can listen to the original "Developing Spiritual Maturity" podcast HERE. _________ Jody Moore, del podcast *Better Than Happy*, entrevista a la Dra. Finlayson-Fife sobre el tema de la madurez espiritual. En la conversación abordan:- La importancia de la madurez espiritual y cómo alcanzarla.- Cómo vivir la vida con mayor honestidad y en consonancia con la propia integridad.- El proceso de abordar la obediencia con sabiduría.- El verdadero significado del pudor y cómo enseñarlo con sensatez.- Por qué el perfeccionismo es una virtud falsa y cuál es la verdadera naturaleza de la bondad genuina.- Cuáles son los frutos de la madurez espiritual.

Transcribed - Published: 29 May 2026

All of us start out following the rules of our family or group because we want to stay safe, earn approval, or belong to something larger than ourselves. Safety and belonging are not small motivations, they're important and necessary steps on the pathway of our moral development. But obedience is the first law of heaven for a reason. It was never meant to be the final one. Obedience lays the foundation for us to grow towards something far greater: integrity. In this conversation with Larkin Swain of the Sanctuary Podcast, Dr. Finlayson-Fife walks through her three-stage framework for spiritual and psychological development and explains the role of obedience in each stage. We begin in fear. We grow into belonging. And in Stage 3, we use the moral compass we developed in Stages 1 and 2 to make our decisions not from fear or compliance, but from our own integrity. When we make that shift from living by the letter of the law to the spirit of it, it can feel like something has gone terribly wrong. But it hasn't. It's actually the whole point.  SHOW NOTES: SAVE up to 30% at COZY EARTH through June 1st with code JFF30

Transcribed - Published: 26 May 2026

Joy is not something we stumble upon. And it's not freedom from suffering. Nor is it the same thing as happiness. Joy is the willingness to see the beauty and goodness around us, even in the midst of difficulty and loss. Joy is a disposition toward living, not a feeling that comes and goes. And developing the capacity for it takes courage. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Monica Packer of the About Progress podcast to explore what joy actually requires of us, why eros love is at the heart of a marriage that stays alive, and what it means to stop trying to change your spouse and start asking who you want to be instead. SHOW NOTES: SAVE up to 30% at Cozy Earth with code JFF30 (through 6/1)—HERE are the pajamas JFF loves! Join us for the Sex Worth Wanting Retreat! Read That We Might Have Joy (currently $14.95 on Amazon)

Transcribed - Published: 19 May 2026

Most of us enter parenthood knowing it will be both challenging and rewarding. We expect difficulty. We expect exhaustion. But what we don't expect — and what we can never be fully prepared for — is a life-altering diagnosis and the grief that follows when reality doesn't match what we had envisioned for our child and our family. In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Brad Broyles and Nathan Palmer of The Polaris Connection Podcast to share more about her own experience as the mother of a son with autism. She discusses the difficulty and overwhelm she faced early on and the unglamorous process of learning to stop trying to solve her son and start truly choosing him. While this conversation centers on parenting a child with autism, it speaks to the universal challenge of loving our children as they are rather than as we imagined them to be. _________ Join us for a one-day couples workshop in Alpine! Tickets HERE

Transcribed - Published: 12 May 2026

ONE DAY SALE - SAVE 30% on The Art of Desire TODAY ONLY with code MDAY30 This episode was originally recorded in 2022, when my mother was very much alive — in fact, she had just taken up ballroom dancing at 89. By the time the episode aired in 2023, she had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. How quickly things change. She passed away in early 2024 and I have been missing her ever since. My mom loved me wholeheartedly. She was present through every confident and successful moment in my life and every doubt-filled one. Her love shaped me and the work I do tremendously. My mother wasn't perfect. None of us are. But she loved with her whole heart, and I have spent my career believing that kind of love is possible — in part because I was the recipient of it. Whether you are celebrating your mother today, grieving her, or reflecting on the kind of love you want to give — I hope this episode offers you something meaningful. <3 Jennifer 

Transcribed - Published: 7 May 2026

Most of us enter marriage hoping to lock in someone who will love us, support us, and make us feel okay about ourselves — no matter what. So when friction, disagreements, and disconnection show up, it can feel like something has gone terribly wrong. But marriage wasn't designed to keep us comfortable. It was designed to pressure our growth. And the engine of that growth is conflict — the honest collision of two people who see the world differently learning to love each other and create a shared life that makes room for both of them, in all their difference. In this conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Amy and Greg Langford of the Undressing Intimacy Podcast to explore the ideas at the heart of her book That We Might Have Joy. They discuss what happens when we stop asking marriage to manage our sense of self and start letting it do what it was actually designed to do. The reward is not comfort, Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches, it's something better — genuine desire, real intimacy, and the gift of two people choosing to share their life with each other. GET THE BOOK (it's on SALE!) or LEAVE A REVIEW (it would mean a lot to us!)

Transcribed - Published: 5 May 2026

The couples who approach Dr. Finlayson-Fife about sexual dissatisfaction often aren't struggling with frequency — they're struggling with meaning. The attraction, the aliveness, the passion that once came so naturally seems to have slipped away. In this NEW episode, Dan Purcell of the Get Your Marriage On Podcast asks Dr. Finlayson-Fife for her perspective on the difference between having sex and making love — and what couples can do to bring more soulfulness to their sexual relationship.  LAST CALL FOR SWITZERLAND — Learn more HERE! (Sales close on May 2nd)

Transcribed - Published: 28 April 2026

We tend to think of eros as strictly about sex. But in its truest meaning, eros is the human soul's longing for communion — for connection beyond ourselves. It is the impulse that draws us toward God, toward truth, toward knowing and being known by another person. Eros is what enlarges our souls. And it is also the thing we most resist — because eros requires risk. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tim and Aubrey Chaves of the Faith Matters podcast to explore the powerful ideas at the heart of That We Might Have Joy. We are re-airing this popular episode to bring attention to Dr. Finlayson-Fife's book discussion and signing in Boston on April 23rd. Learn more and get your tickets HERE!

Transcribed - Published: 19 April 2026

Every relationship is a negotiation between two different minds. But when one of those minds is wired differently—more impulsive, more interest-driven, or more easily overwhelmed by the gap between intention and follow-through—that negotiation can become especially complex. In this live Q&A, Dr. Finlayson-Fife is joined by ADHD coach, educator, and advocate Kamden Hainsworth to explore what neurodiversity looks like inside intimate relationships. Together, they respond to listener questions about attention, overwhelm, responsibility, and connection—and what it really takes to build a strong, collaborative marriage when ADHD is part of the equation. ____ Join us for a one-day couples workshop in Alpine, UT - DETAILS HERE! Last call for the Switzerland Tour! Learn more HERE!

Transcribed - Published: 7 April 2026

We tell ourselves stories about who we are — and most of us have been telling the same ones since childhood. The Enneagram doesn't just teach us about our personality type, it exposes the story underneath it. Through the Enneagram we can learn why we cope the way we do, what we're afraid to lose, and what's possible when we're willing to loosen our grip on the narrative that's been organizing our life. In this Q&A episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is joined by bestselling author, psychotherapist, and Enneagram teacher Ian Morgan Cron to explore how the Enneagram can transform the way we understand ourselves and the people we love. SAVE $200 on all of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's domestic multi-day retreats with code JFF200 SAVE 15% on Ian's Enneagram Assessment and Online Courses with code ROOMFORTWO

Transcribed - Published: 1 April 2026

Couples who change in a real way are sometimes the ones willing to face the genuine possibility of ending their marriage. Not as a threat or a tactic, but as an honest reckoning with what they stand to lose and who they really are. After all, you can't give a meaningful yes to something if there's not a viable or real no. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife uses listener questions to guide a discussion about the decision whether to stay in or leave a marriage. She talks about what it looks like to be in a marriage without having truly chosen it, why ambivalence is never a neutral place, how to know when divorce is the right answer, what it means to put your marriage on the line as an act of honesty rather than control, and why desire can't exist where fear or obligation is running the show. ANNOUNCEMENTS: Intimate Exposures Workshop in Utah Couples' Workshop in Utah (tickets coming soon!) Starting Strong Workshop in Utah

Transcribed - Published: 25 March 2026

Despite their reactions to our attempts to discuss it, our children are looking to us to help them make sense of their sexuality. And while talking to kids about sex can feel deeply uncomfortable — for reasons that are actually quite natural — avoiding these conversations comes at a cost. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Holly J. Moore of the Made for Moore podcast to discuss how parents can approach conversations about sex and sexuality with their children in a way that is honest, ongoing, and shame-free. They explore why discomfort doesn't have to be a barrier, how to begin these conversations early and keep them going, and how offering values around sexuality — rather than fear or shame — empowers children to make informed, confident, and integrity-driven choices as they grow. Want to learn more? Enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex course!

Transcribed - Published: 10 March 2026

Join us for a FREE Q&A about the Enneagram - click HERE for details! Brad and Kate have been working to understand themselves and each other better, using the Enneagram to better understand how they each respond to stress and disconnection. They've been talking more openly and defending less—but when tensions rise, Brad moves toward action and physical closeness, hoping connection will bring relief while Kate pulls back, wanting to feel emotionally secure before opening up. This leaves Brad feeling rejected and Kate worried that intimacy is more about sex itself than truly being with her. Because Brad seems steady on the surface and Kate is openly emotional, it's easy for both of them to assume she's the problem—but they're equally dysregulated, just in different ways. Want to unlock the full episode and over a hundred more that are just as powerful? Subscribe to Room for Two!

Transcribed - Published: 5 March 2026

You married a whole person. The spontaneity, the creativity, the aliveness — and yes, the forgotten appointments and the missed recitals too. But learning to love a whole person — both their virtues and their vices — is the real work of marriage. When neurodivergence is part of the picture, it's easy to get lost in what your partner isn't doing, or to lean on a diagnosis to justify your impact on the other. But a real partnership requires taking full responsibility for the gifts and burdens of the mind and body you were born with. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Kamden Hainsworth of the Busy Brained Saint podcast to talk about what it looks like for both partners in a neurodiverse marriage to show up as whole people — owning what is theirs, releasing what isn't, and finding more freedom than they expected on the other side. Listen to learn more about: What it means to take full responsibility for the gifts and burdens of the mind and body you were born with — for both partners How a diagnosis can build genuine compassion — or quietly become a way to avoid growth The one-up/one-down dynamic that takes over neurodiverse marriages — and how both partners sustain it Why releasing the need to change or manage your spouse is what actually opens the door to real intimacy How truth — not false hope — is what gives couples the clarity to choose each other well ANNOUNCEMENTS Join us for a FREE Q&A about Neurodiversity in relationships, click HERE for details!  Join us for Date Night in Dallas, ticket information HERE (details for Austin coming soon!)

Transcribed - Published: 24 February 2026

The JFF Book Club starts 2/19, you can join HERE for six interactive discussions with Dr. Jennifer! Falling in love is easy. Staying in love requires our maturation. A few years (or decades) into marriage, it's tempting to wonder if we just married the wrong person—the passion has faded, the differences feel more irritating, and that deep sense of connection doesn't feel as natural as it once did. And while it is tempting to think that something is going wrong, really, marriage is just inviting us to stop chasing what was and to start creating something deeper. In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins the Date Your Spouse team to talk about what couples can do to bring a sense of aliveness to their marriage. She challenges the idea that going along to keep the peace is an act of love, explains why duty-based sex quietly destroys desire, and offers a surprisingly simple practice any couple can try TONIGHT to create more intimacy and connection. If you're looking to create more passion and connection in your relationship, enroll in Dr. Jennifer's new Sex Worth Wanting course!

Transcribed - Published: 18 February 2026

Many of us were taught—directly or indirectly—that sexuality and spirituality are at odds, and that suppressing our sexual selves brings us closer to God. But what if that story is wrong? What if our sexuality is actually one of the primary ways we learn how to love? In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Dan Purcell of the Get Your Marriage On podcast to discuss her book That We Might Have Joy and the role of eros energy—the aliveness that emerges when couples stop running their marriages from fear, control, and ego. Through stories from the book—like Samuel, whose fear of sexual feelings kept him stuck, and Bradley, whose relentless pursuit of sex was driven by shame—Dr. Jennifer shows how sexual repression doesn’t make us more spiritual. It just keeps us fragmented. Together, they explore why sexual integration—not suppression—is what leads to greater freedom, strength, and intimacy.

Transcribed - Published: 10 February 2026

 Change is hard and it's not just because you lack willpower. Change is hard because it asks you to step into a version of yourself that feels unfamiliar—the one who’s still learning to speak honestly, love wholeheartedly, and tolerate the discomfort that comes from facing ourselves honestly. The unease you feel when you start to change isn’t a sign that something’s wrong. It’s a sign that your brain is doing exactly what it needs to do to grow. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife uses questions submitted by listeners to drive a discussion about how we can create transformation in ourselves and in our relationships. Listen to the full episode to learn: Why most resolutions fail (and what actually creates lasting change) How to navigate the discomfort of growth without retreating to old patterns The power of self-confrontation Learn more about your upcoming events HERE: https://buytickets.at/jenniferfinlaysonfifephd

Transcribed - Published: 2 February 2026

Many of us learned early on that being good meant following the rules, keeping everyone happy, and never causing discomfort. So maybe you find yourself saying yes when really, you mean no. Perhaps you agree to host the family gathering, even when you’re already overwhelmed, or give in to your teenager’s demands because you don't want to deal with the fallout of their anger. In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Jody Moore of the Better Than Happy Podcast to explore the crucial difference between compliance and true goodness. They discuss the difference between being kind and being compliant, why prioritizing other people’s comfort over your own integrity is harmful, and what your resentments can teach you about yourself and the way you show up in relationships. If you found this episode helpful JOIN US for the Sexuality and Selfhood Workshop in Alpine, UT!

Transcribed - Published: 20 January 2026

In Part 2 of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's conversation with Dr. Justin Coulson of the Happy Families Podcast, they discuss how couples can prioritize intimacy amidst the demands of parenting. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also tackles what to do when your child walks in on you during an intimate moment, offering age-appropriate language to help children make sense of what they saw without catastrophizing the experience. NOTES: You can purchase "10 Sex Myths That Are Destroying Your Sex Life" HERE (it's only $29!)

Transcribed - Published: 13 January 2026

Many of us have inherited cultural scripts that position men as the "main character" in sexuality while women exist to serve and support. This framework turns intimacy into work instead of play—and when sex becomes work, desire disappears. In this conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Dr. Justin Coulson of the Happy Families Podcast to discuss how our ideas about gender roles undermine genuine connection. The conversation unpacks why women's desire shuts down when sexuality is framed as caregiving, why tolerated sex creates resentment on both sides, and what has to shift if you want to move from dutiful encounters to the kind of passion and intimacy you're both craving. Join us in Irvine, California this month for the Strengthening Your Relationship Workshop (SAVE $100 with code SYR2026)! 

Transcribed - Published: 6 January 2026

Development isn't a gentle process. Development often happens when our worldview shatters. And that shattering hurts, but it's what helps us develop a truer map of reality. In this conversation with Taylor Church of the Of Stone and Clay Podcast, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife walks through her own marriage journey to illustrate what relational growth looks like. She shares how marriage revealed parts of herself she didn't want to see and how learning to stay in honest conflict has helped her relationship grow over the years. She also discusses how couples unknowingly co-create the dynamics they resent, and what it means to actually love and value your partner for who they are. 

Transcribed - Published: 23 December 2025

In this preview episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife works with Brad and Kate, a couple who feels a chill in their relationship that they can't seem to shake. Sound familiar? Subscribe today to unlock this FULL episode (plus the entire Brad and Kate series and hundreds of other episodes that are just as relevant and helpful!).

Transcribed - Published: 20 December 2025

Falling in love is a gift. Staying in love requires something more—the willingness to grow into someone who can hold both connection and individuality without losing either. In this conversation with Taylor Church of the Of Stone and Clay Podcast, Dr. Jennifer draws from her new book and research on sexuality to explore how we move from the magic of falling in love to the deeper work of creating lasting intimacy. She offers wisdom on navigating difference, sustaining desire, and why the challenges of marriage are not necessarily failures but invitations to grow. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Sexual integration and what it means for intimate relationships How shame shapes our experience of sexuality Why vibrant living matters more than physical perfection for attraction The difference between accommodation and genuine choice in intimacy ______ Only a few days left to order That We Might Have Joy in time for Christmas! SAVE $200 on 2026 events with code JFF2026

Transcribed - Published: 17 December 2025

We've received many requests over the years to offer Dr. Finlayson-Fife's resources in other languages. Miriam Parkin has generously offered her time and talent to translate episodes for us and we will add them to the feed as they come in (in addition to our regular podcast production schedule). Our Christmas Sale is Live! Save 20% on all Full-Length courses (plus get an additional discount when you purchase two or more!) __________ En este episodio del podcast, la Dra. Finlayson-Fife conversa con Dan Purcell del podcast Get Your Marriage On.Hablan sobre... - Las 3 etapas del desarrollo sexual y cómo llevar su matrimonio al siguiente nivel- La importancia de cultivar la energía erótica en la relación- Cómo pasar de tener relaciones sexuales a una conexión profunda a través del acto de hacer el amor

Transcribed - Published: 13 December 2025

The word libido can make it seem like desire is predetermined and out of our control—we either have it or we don't. In reality, desire is remarkably fluid—shaped by the meanings we attach to sex, our sense of self, and the kind of relationship we’re stepping into.  In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Tammy Hill of the Live Your Why podcast to discuss libido and sexual desire. They explore how biology, medications, aging, stress, and hormones can influence our sexual desire—but emphasize that the meanings we carry about sex, marriage, duty, and self-worth are usually the most powerful drivers of all. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also responds to three common scenarios: a husband who uses data and calendars to justify his sexual entitlement a man who responds to sexual differences with persistent whining a mother overwhelmed by young children who feels too “touched out” for sex In each example, she offers insight into how shifting the underlying meaning—not just the behavior—can help couples create a more grounded and mutually satisfying sexual dynamic. **SAVE 20% on Dr. Finlayson-Fife's BRAND-NEW COURSE with code SWW20**

Transcribed - Published: 9 December 2025

With the holidays ahead, many of us are getting ready for extended-family gatherings—and the fun, stress, and complexity that can come with them. Our extended-family relationships can be particularly challenging because they push directly on our differentiation. As Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches, few things—aside from marriage—expose our difficulty with differentiation quite like spending time with the families we grew up in. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers audience questions about common extended-family challenges, including enmeshed parent–child relationships, triangulation, intrusive or overstepping in-laws, sibling competitiveness, and families that resist change. She talks about how couples can stay steady in these situations by being clear about how they want to function, holding to their integrity, and choosing honest, grounded ways of relating—regardless of the pressures around them.

Transcribed - Published: 25 November 2025

Many of us carry sexual shame that began long before adulthood. The tone of our childhood homes, the way our parents handled emotion and mistakes, and the silence or anxiety surrounding the body all shaped how acceptable our desires—and our imperfections—felt to us. Those early messages often linger, coloring how we see ourselves and even how we imagine God sees us. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Chris Rich of The Mixed-Faith Relationship Podcast to unpack where sexual shame comes from and how it shows up in adulthood. She explains how shame turns toxic when it convinces us that our flaws make us unworthy, and she offers a clearer, kinder way forward—one that helps us accept our embodied nature, integrate our sexuality, and relate to ourselves with more honesty and compassion. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: What sexual shame actually is—and how it develops How childhood experiences shape comfort with desire Why many of us confuse anxiety with “God’s judgment” The difference between healthy inhibition and toxic shame How both repression and indulgence keep us stuck What genuine sexual integration looks like How to foster healthier, shame-free conversations with our children JOIN OUR MAILING LIST HERE and you'll get the link to join us for an online screening of "The Mormon Sex Therapist" on Thursday! 

Transcribed - Published: 18 November 2025

We've received many requests over the years to offer some of Dr. Finlayson-Fife's resources in other languages. Today we are thrilled to be offering our first episode in Spanish (a translation of THIS popular episode from the archive). We are incredibly grateful to Miriam Parkin for offering her time and talent to translate this episode and look forward to offering more resources in Spanish in the future! ___________ El conflicto surge naturalmente cuando dos personas intentan construir una vida juntas y representa una valiosa oportunidad de crecimiento si lo permitimos. Cuando no estamos de acuerdo con nuestra pareja, solemos recurrir a comportamientos que causan dolor y frustración, en lugar de esforzarnos por encontrar respuestas más productivas y colaborativas, aunque a menudo parezcan contraintuitivas. En este episodio, la Dra. Finlayson-Fife se une a la coach de relaciones Anne Nelson para hablar sobre cómo las relaciones pueden crecer y prosperar, incluso ante el conflicto y las diferencias.

Transcribed - Published: 11 November 2025

When a marriage feels painful or uncertain, it’s easy to tell ourselves we just need more time to figure out the "right" thing to do. But there’s a difference between taking time to make a wise choice and staying stuck because we’re afraid to face the difficult reality of what we know is true. Real hope invites growth and honesty. False hope keeps us waiting for something to change when there’s strong evidence it never will. In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife answers questions from listeners wrestling with whether to stay or leave their marriages. She explores why peace doesn’t come from certainty, but from the courage to act with integrity—choosing what we believe is most right, even when both paths carry loss. _______ Join us for a date night with Dr. Jennifer on November 8th in St. George!

Transcribed - Published: 4 November 2025

In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Jane Copier of the Happy in the Middle podcast to speak directly to women in midlife who feel disconnected from desire or unsure of how to bring themselves back into their marriages. She explains why this stage—though often uncomfortable—is full of possibility: a chance to stop living on autopilot, get honest about what you want in your life, and create more peace and connection in your relationship. If this episode hits home, you'd love The Art of Desire course for women: https://www.finlayson-fife.com/courses/course/the-art-of-desire Get the Book: https://amzn.to/48HnuUC

Transcribed - Published: 21 October 2025

When pornography shows up in our lives or relationships, our instinct is often to meet it with fear, shame, silence, or attempts to control. But these responses don’t bring peace—they keep us anxious, afraid, and disconnected from ourselves and each other. In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Lauren Yarrow of The Blonde Apologist to offer a powerful reframe for those struggling to understand or navigate pornography—whether in their own lives, in marriage, while dating, or as parents. Drawing on insights from That We Might Have Joy, Dr. Finlayson-Fife explains how growth doesn’t come through control or avoidance, but through honesty, self-understanding, and integrity. JOIN US FOR THE ART OF LOVING RETREAT

Transcribed - Published: 14 October 2025

Relationships feel easy when things are going well—when we feel understood and everything between us feels steady. They’re much harder when we’re frustrated, disappointed, or misunderstood. Yet it’s in those moments of friction and honest conflict that we’re invited to grow—to become wiser, more grounded, and more capable of real love. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Monica Tanner to share insights from That We Might Have Joy and explore how conflict in marriage isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong, but part of the very process through which deeper intimacy and peace take shape. **Join us for Date Night With Dr. Jennifer! **

Transcribed - Published: 9 October 2025

Few struggles cut as deep in marriage as mismatched desire. When one partner feels perpetually rejected and the other feels endlessly pressured, resentment builds. In this NEW episode, hosted by Rhonda Farr, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife draws from Chapter 3 of her book That We Might Have Joy to unpack how repression drives obsession, why intimacy is so difficult to tolerate, and how agency and integrity can open the way to real communion in marriage. JOIN US FOR THE ART OF LOVING RETREAT! Order That We Might Have Joy HERE!

Transcribed - Published: 30 September 2025

Many Latter-day Saints grow up learning that the body and pleasure are threats to spirituality—that sexuality is something to fear or control. These teachings were often given with good intentions, but they were also misinformed, and they have made it harder for many to find peace in marriage and within themselves. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins the hosts of the All Things for Good Podcast to explore how our own theology, rightly understood, offers a far richer view: that the body is a spiritual gift, and that sex can become the sacrament of marriage—a way of knowing God, ourselves, and each other with more honesty, love, and joy. Preorder your copy of That We Might Have Joy here: https://amzn.to/4gu0FW9 Join Dr. Finlayson-Fife at LDS CAPA's Fall Conference here: https://ldscapa.org/events-page/

Transcribed - Published: 17 September 2025

Your kids are learning about sex—whether you talk to them about it or not. And if you’ve ever wished Dr. Finlayson-Fife could coach you through these important conversations (and honestly, who hasn’t?), this episode is for you. In this conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife offers practical guidance for parents who want to raise sexually healthy, thoughtful, and confident kids. You’l learn more about: How to foster a relationship where your kids feel safe bringing you their questions and concerns Setting limits and expectations without shaming or controlling Supporting a child who is questioning their sexual orientation Navigating conversations when you and your spouse don’t see eye-to-eye If you'd like to learn even more, enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex Course!

Transcribed - Published: 9 September 2025

In this episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Hunter Otis of the Pxrn Free Revolution podcast to explore the hidden pressures men carry around sexuality. They discuss why porn is such a tempting escape, how cultural and personal messages keep men stuck, and—most importantly—how stepping out of hiding can lead to greater freedom, honesty, and deeper connection in their lives and relationships. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: Why pornography becomes a counterfeit refuge How cultural and family messages fuel shame / secrecy  Why secrecy keeps you stuck What integration actually looks like and how to work toward it Join us for the Art of Loving Retreat this September! Learn more HERE. 

Transcribed - Published: 3 September 2025

For many women, sex feels like something to get through—another duty to manage, another expectation to meet. And yet, the more we pressure ourselves to “fix” our difficulty with desire, the more elusive it becomes. This is because desire cannot be manufactured. It will never come from obligation, attempts to appease, or from sheer willpower. It only thrives in freedom—when we feel true to ourselves, at ease in our own skin, and at peace with how we are showing up in our lives. In this NEW episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife unpacks why women so often struggle with desire and and what they can do to cultivate a sexual relationship that feels alive and worth wanting.  Listen to the full episode to learn: Why you can’t force yourself into desire How duty-based meanings suffocate women’s eroticism The crucial differences between men’s and women’s sexuality Why freedom and authenticity are the lifeblood of passion Join us for the Art of Desire Retreat! Click HERE to SAVE $100 with code Desire! 

Transcribed - Published: 27 August 2025

In this NEW episode of the Faith Matters podcast, Dr. Jennifer joins Tim and Aubrey Chaves to share insights from her long-awaited book That We Might Have Joy. They discuss how sexuality is not a distraction from spirituality, but a pathway to it—that intimacy and desire can help us grow into deeper integrity, more honest marriages, and more profound faith. You can PREORDER YOUR COPY of the book HERE. If you'd like to get a signed copy, JOIN US AT RESTORE (use code JFF2025 to SAVE 10%!). We will be having a special book launch event on the evening of September 25th and Dr. Finlayson-Fife will be on the main stage on September 27th—you don't wait to miss it! 

Transcribed - Published: 16 August 2025

In this episode, listeners joined Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife for a Q&A discussion about her soon-to-be-released book, That We Might Have Joy (order your copy HERE!). During the conversation, she answered listener's questions about the process of writing the book, how she decided on the topic, and what lessons she learned along the way. But, true to form, Dr. Finlayson-Fife offered more than just simple answers to questions during this discussion—she challenged limiting cultural messages about the body, spoke about the courage it takes to face the truth in our relationships, and explained why intimacy always begins with self-honesty. If you'd like to get a SIGNED copy of the book, join us at RESTORE (use code JFF2025 to save 10%) or at a special Faith Matters gathering on October 1st! We have a busy schedule this fall! Click HERE to learn more about our upcoming events, we'd love to have you join us!

Transcribed - Published: 13 August 2025

We’re re-releasing our most-listened-to episode ever—and for good reason. In this powerful conversation, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Carol Lynn Pearson, Stephen Carter, and Dan Wotherspoon to talk about the real purpose of marriage—and why the challenges we face in it are what drives our personal and spiritual growth. They discuss how marriage can stretch us in the best ways—pushing us to confront ourselves, to move through conflict instead of away from it, and to build something real and lasting in the process. In the episode, you'll learn more about:  Why conflict is often a doorway to intimacy How monogamy pressures us to evolve What Mormon culture gets wrong—and right—about marriage Why creating a strong marriage is a spiritual process If you’ve ever wondered why marriage feels so hard sometimes, and whether it’s supposed to be easier—this episode will meet you right where you are. *In the episode,Carol Lynn Pearson's poem "The Steward" is referenced *On August 12th Dr. Finlayson-Fife will be launching the pre-order link for her new book! JOIN OUR MAILING LIST for details! 

Transcribed - Published: 5 August 2025

It’s easy to see your partner as the problem when things feel unfair—but often, the patterns we feel stuck in are ones we’ve unwittingly helped create. In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Monica Packer of the About Progress podcast to talk about what it means to be a thoughtful changemaker in your relationship. They explore how to recognize when you’ve been over-accommodating—and how avoiding conflict or ignoring your own desires can quietly erode both your well-being and the strength of the partnership. Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches that change begins by owning your role in the current dynamic—and using that clarity to engage in honest, collaborative conversations with your partner.   **JOIN US for one of our upcoming events!**

Transcribed - Published: 22 July 2025

It’s easy to see your partner as the problem when things feel unfair—but often, the patterns we feel stuck in are ones we’ve unwittingly helped create. In this NEW episode, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Monica Packer of the About Progress podcast to talk about what it means to be a thoughtful changemaker in your relationship. They explore how to recognize when you’ve been over-accommodating—and how avoiding conflict or ignoring your own desires can quietly erode both your well-being and the strength of the partnership. Dr. Finlayson-Fife teaches that change begins by owning your role in the current dynamic—and using that clarity to engage in honest, collaborative conversations with your partner.   **JOIN US for one of our upcoming events!**

Transcribed - Published: 22 July 2025

In this NEW episode of the Phoenix Forte podcast, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife offers guidance for women navigating the emotional and spiritual work of healing after divorce, especially when infidelity has been involved. She discusses how disconnection from the body and sexuality is a tempting strategy—but one that ultimately keeps us from experiencing peace and connection with ourselves. **JOIN US in Provo, UT this summer!**

Transcribed - Published: 1 July 2025