What if Your Spouse Won't Choose You?

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 3 June 2025

⏱️ 46 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What do you do when you’ve faced yourself, stepped into clarity, and still… your spouse won’t (or can’t) lean into the relationship? In this Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife joins Greg and Amy Langford of the Undressing Intimacy podcast to talk about the painful reality many couples face: when you want more honesty, connection, and intimacy—and your partner doesn't seem to want the same. This episode dives into the difficult soul work of learning to tolerate what we can’t control, teases out the difference between patience and clinging to false hope, and offers guidance on how we can handle disappointment in our relationship with maturity. Click HERE to learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife's relationship and sexuality courses for couples!

Transcript

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0:00.0	If you're really going to have a choice-based marriage, you can't be psychologically entangled anymore.
0:05.7	You have to start self-defining.
0:08.1	You have to tolerate disentangling yourself and determining who you are and how you want to live your life.
0:14.4	And it's scary.
0:15.4	It's why most of us avoid it. Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and more.
0:34.8	All featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.
0:44.3	Okay. and more, all featuring Dr. Finlayson-Fife. Welcome to episode 20 of undressing intimacy.
0:49.4	All right, y'all, we promise something really exciting.
0:53.3	We are about to deliver.
0:55.1	It's going to happen.
0:56.5	I think I haven't been this nervous in a very long time.
1:00.1	I know I have butterflies in my stomach.
1:02.1	I'm feeling a little jittery and excited.
1:04.6	It might be a little fan girling going on here.
1:06.6	A little.
1:07.4	I think more like.
1:08.1	A lot.
1:10.6	Today we asked Jennifer to speak on a pretty specific topic around marriage.
1:16.6	And that is when couples reach the point of deciding whether or not they want to stay married.
1:23.3	And specifically when one spouse does and maybe the other doesn't or can't.
1:28.8	And we realize that many of you may not be at this point in your marriage,
1:33.6	which is delightful and wonderful.
	...

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