A lot of times in marriage will use the idea that our spouse is impaired in some way doesn't do these things right.

And so you go in because you want the control and the superiority and insist that it be done your way,

which is just an arrogant and unloving position, because you're using the idea that they are less than you to dominate and prevail.

Rather than I partnered with someone who does the world differently.

What does she or he think would be best?

How would she or he handle this?

How can we partner, given that we each have different capacities and inclinations and interests?

How do we work together?

Very seldom the people really partner with somebody that's not their equal.

Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships,

sexuality, spirituality, and more, all featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.

Welcome, everybody. We're going to talk today a little bit about neurodiversity in romantic relationships.

I'm not an expert in this area. That is to say that I'm not an autism expert, nor am I an ADHD expert. But I have a studies on the autism spectrum.

I have family that has some level of attentional challenges or executive function challenges.

And I myself am a bit on the ADD side.

So let me just talk a little bit about this coming from the experience as a counselor,

but also somebody who has thought about these topics more than someone that's helping people

with these issues in my professional work.

So first, let's just define what neurodiversity is.

Neurodiversity is just a way of describing the normal human spectrum of brain differences, right?

In both how one's brain functions and in the traits or the behaviors that you tend to, the way that you approach life.

And so there is, of course, a huge range in how we relate to the world, how we see the

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