If we're using fantasy to escape our life,

to escape our marriage, to escape ourselves,

that's problematic, always will be.

If we're using it to know ourselves,

to play with our spouse,

to engage in a kind of meaningful sexual relationship,

then it can be good.

So you have to really look at what is this creating between us.

Welcome to Conversations with Dr. Jennifer,

a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships,

sexuality, spirituality, and more, all featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.

Hi, everybody. So we're going to talk today a little bit about fantasy and I'll say just a little bit about fantasy itself.

Of course, I talk about this a lot. The sexuality courses that I do just to give a kind of meaning frame to understand fantasy because it's fundamentally challenging for us because if we take seriously

the idea of, you know, as a man thinketh, so is he. We may think, well, I'm really toast.

And of course, I always point out at the Art of Desire Retreat that says a man thinketh.

So we females were fine.

We can think of anything we want.

But, you know, sexual thought is odd to say the least.

It's strange.

And a lot of us have the idea that the fact that our erotic thoughts are so counter to convention, illegal sometimes, completely the opposite of what we might want in the

light of day in our lives and in our marriages, that it can make us feel very strange.

I mean, I think this is one of the reasons why sexuality is such a hard topic for human

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