This is feminist wellness, and I'm your host, nurse practitioner, somatics, and nervous system nerd, and life coach, Bea Victoria Albina.

I'll show you how to get unstuck, drop the anxiety, perfectionism, and

codependency so you can live from your beautiful heart. Welcome, my love. Let's get started.

I had a client, Lisa, who told me about the moment she realized she'd turned herself into a

human vending machine. Someone had called her such a giver,

meaning it as the highest compliment. But after coaching with me for almost six months,

what she heard was, congratulations. You've successfully programmed yourself to dispense

kindness on demand, because that's exactly what she had become over a lifetime, and she

couldn't hear it until we'd spent months talking. She'd learned to insert kindness in order

to get approval, to insert helpfulness in order to get belonging, to insert her entire self

into everyone else's problems, to get a gold star that says, good girl,

a witch, by the way, expires every 24 hours so you better keep feeding the machine.

She'd learned this equation early like so many of us have. Your worth equals what you do for

people divided by what you need from them. And honey, that denominator better be zero

where you're in trouble. So there she was. This perfectly trained emotional support human just

giving and giving and giving until she was basically a ghost haunting her on life. People would ask her,

what do you want for dinner? And she'd just malfunctioned sort of glitch out,

like error 404, personal preferences not found. Lisa told me she spent 20 minutes in the cereal

aisle having an existential crisis because she realized she didn't know what kind of cereal she likes.

She'd been buying what her kids wanted, what her husband needed for his cholesterol,

what was on sale, what was healthy. But her own taste butts, those had apparently filed for

unemployment years ago. That's what happens when you become a professional people-pleaser. You start

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