Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Bitch Bible podcast. I am recording live from a very fragile sodium retending headspace.

First things first, I would like to say happy limb difference awareness month.

I'm not sure if you got the Google Alert.

It is limb difference awareness month.

I don't want to put myself at the forefront of awareness for the limb indifferent, but I have been fighting the good fight with one jazz hand for many, many years.

One leg, one jazz hand, whatever you want to call it.

So this month, this April, you know, celebrate your loved ones with a nub.

Secondly, I am emotional this week. I am tender. I'm fragile. I'm feeble. Last night, I took my son to

Teppaniaki for dinner with my sister and in attempts to create

memories and celebratory moments for me as a single mother, I have found myself an emotionally

fragile state.

Teppaniaki does something to me.

I don't know if it's the forced, forced celebration of it all. I don't know if it reminds me of my childhood. I don't know if the seed oils and the soy sauce just make me retain more water. And therefore I'm like more on the brink of having a meltdown meltdown. I don't sorry. I just had a

stroke and on the verge of tears because I'm just retaining so much water that needs to come out

from any orifice, preferably the but usually the eyeball, that I'm just in a bit of a tender

state. Andrew has once again left me for dead.

And I'd like to take this opportunity at the very beginning of the show to start a rumor.

So Reddit trolls, clip this, and I'm going to give you some inspiration.

Trouble in Paradise. Jackie Schimel and Andrew Hawes, headed for a divorce question mark? I fucking hope so. Okay. I have been the biggest cunt roaming the Western Hemisphere for the past month. Why, you may ask? Because Andrew has left me for dead. Okay. First, she was in England for a week. Then she came home for five days. Then she went to

Nashville for a week. Okay. This is all this month. In London for a week, comes home for five days,

then goes to Nashville for a week, comes home for five days, then leaves for the masters,

comes home for five days, then leaves for Nashville. It is, it's not fucking fair, okay?

...