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I am so excited for today's episode.

Today, I am joined by legend, pioneer woman, beacon of light, pillar of the community, sex symbol, Mensa, prodigy.

Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for my guest, me.

I know that I said I was going to have a guest these next two weeks, but we're going to

hold off until the top of the year.

And I'm just going to drive you home till 2022.

It's just me and you, baby.

Sorry if I sound just a touch nasally this week.

I'm recovering from my extreme trauma truffle butter that ensued last night when I went and saw King Richard.

Now, I posted something on Instagram and a bunch of fucking dumb fucks were like, no spoilies.

People that say things like that should be clubbed in the fucking head. And I'd like to do it with,

you know, honestly, maybe a brushed brass golf club with jewel encrusting on the fucking handle.

You're an idiot. Hot, hot tip. Unless you've been living in a fucking cabots for the past 30 years, the story is about

Venus and Serena Williams. Ever heard of them? Spoiler alert, they become the biggest female

tennis stars in the fucking world. Okay? There you go. Spoiled it for you. Wham? You have to go

see this, see this fucking movie. I mean, you know, when like, listen, I only cry in

movies and only like happy tears. Any type of like sports triumph, August rush, true story. Like,

...